Sensory Disorder/Discipline

[zoe398]

I have a dd, Stella, who is 3. Last summer, I became aware that she has a Sensory Integration Disorder. At least, I'd found the name for what I had noticed for so long. It's not terribly severe, and she functions well in daily life. However, this sensitivity plays a large part in the EXTREME tantrums she throws. For instance other dd, Aydan, (2) fed the dog last night (they take turns daily). Stella then totally lost control. No tears, but screaming, kicking and out of it. Nothing you say or do helps. My feeling is that she gets to a point and can't or won't bring herself back. She may go on for 20-30 minutes. And usually, it's only when she decides to be done. I've tried talking, holding, distracting... and I've read the Out-of Sync Child. I just picked up another book so I'll hopefully get through that soon. But, I figured I'd post to see if there are any other families who have children with SID and if they have any suggestions. Thank you!

[maya44]

My little one also has Sensory Integration Disorder but functions well.

At three she did tantrum alot. I offered support, hugs etc... but she did not want it. I usually would be close by and say "I'm right here if you need me sweetie"

Then I'd just let the tantrum go in any safe place. At three her tantrums were often 20-30 minutes. Over time she learned that she could survive the tantrum and feel better and that she had the power within herself to do this. I think that having this knowledge alone helped her greatly.

She does sometimes break down now. (She is 8 now). But this lasts only about 3-5 minutes and is done only in private.

[sunnmama]

My SID dd was very, very tantrum prone (at 1, 2, 3, finally less so now in her 4s). IME, it is less a discipline problem, and more of an overstimulation problem--just going over a threshold and melting down. So I have always mostly approached it from a prevention stand point. I don't mean giving in to prevent tantrums....I mean watching for early cues of overstimulation, and helping dd to choose/seek the activities she needs to keep her self "regulated". "The Out of Sync Child has Fun" is a great resource for such activities.

As for what to do during a tantrum, I do what Maya describes. In the past, I have frequently had to (forcibly) remove dd from a location, because the stimulation that pushed her over the threshold can also perpetuate the tantrum, kwim? So getting her out of noisy areas, into a quiet space, and letting her get it out.

You can also find lots of threads about SID on the Special Needs Forum. That has been a great resource for me.

[lilyka]

what helped us was to realy work on staying in conrtol. the problem came when the trantrum reached the point of no return and che switched into overstim mode and then it was all down hill from there :LOL so the key was to stop tantrums before they began. That is the angle we addressed it from. i didn't feel she was any more or less likely to throw a tantrum than any other kid but they were worse wen she did. well I guess she was more likely but we delt with that sensitively by making sure there weren't irritants (her sister knew good and well how to set her off and wasn't afraid to) and that if there must be one thing that would set her off that it was just that one thing. so if we knew we were going to be around people all afternoon, she spent the day in her room listening to music in her headphones (trust me so not a punishment) so that she would have her tank ful for the busy social afternoon.

[lunamomma]

ds # 2 is very challenging to say the least. he is 15 months can you tell me more about SD or give a good website?

[zoe398]

http://www.out-of-sync-child.com/ This is the first book I read regarding SID. Very informative.

https://mmm1106.verio-web.com/sensor/faq.html A very short FAQ to SID.

http://www.thegraycenter.org/sensory_integration.htm More FAQ's.

Thanks for the replies. It's good to hear that maybe? we're reaching the peak. Lilyka, you are so right...dd's biggest irritant is other dd. They are only 15 mos apart and my little one terrorizes Stella. However, I'm not sure it's possible to keep them apart. As much as Stella knows A is her trauma, she wants her to go with her everywhere. <<sigh>> Stella's not quite old enough yet to want to be by herself. I think I'm gonna find The Out of Sync Child Has Fun.

[lilyka]

yours are close which makes it harder.

lily and madeline are pretty far apart. the thing is, Lilyka is particularly gifted in the sensory integration department. we are constantly amazed at how in tune and ware she is of everything from her body on out into the world around her. she always knows exactly what to say and do and how to interact with her world and the people around her. the out of sync child decribes the bell curve continum thing. where madeline is toward the one end lily is at the complete opposite end. ava of course true to form is right in the middle at the top of the curve :LOL. I have SID also and it amazes me to watch her. here is the problem thoguh. she rarely uses these powers for god. by the time she was 18 months old (and madeline was 6ish) she knew how to send her over the edge into a full blown melt down in under 45 seconds. she would sit and watch madeline and thenmove in for the kill when she had idfentified the weak spot. by the time she was 3 1/2 she could do it in 15 seconds or less. she knew just the right pictch and volume to make her irritating chant. just the right place to touch madeline. frustrating and amazing. (same child can move you to tears of joy with her sweetness and sensitivty in one movement when she so chooses. rarely chooses to do so with her sister..) Strangely they are best friends. but i aslo think a side item to madelines SID is that she just doesn't get that lily is the instigator to her frustration or at least not that she is making a focused percise attack. it has gotten better now that Lily is old enough to get it that it is just not a cool thing to do.

[mistymama]

My 2 1/2 year old has SID but still manages to function well. He is a late talker (but improving vastly as of late) and that added to our problems. He would also get into a terrible tantrum and be unable to stop or allow anyone to help him calm down.

I learned pretty quickly some of the triggers that can set him off, so of course, we avoid those. Otherwise, when he's in a tantrum it's best to not touch him, stay close and be there when he is done and ready for some hugs.

I'm noticing as his language skills improve, his frustration is much less, and the tantrums are getting better. He used to bang his head on the floor hard enough to leave bruises, and he no longer does that.

I really liked the Out of Sync Child, I have not read any other books that I felt described my child other than that one. Looks like us SID mamas are not alone ... I'm finding that time is our biggest helper. As he gets older the meltdowns are becoming less and less.