Leaving while baby is asleep?

[oceanbaby]

I never left ds1 when he was asleep, because he always had to nurse when he woke up - he woke up screaming for the breast and didn't give it up until the breast appeared! I think he was over 2yo before I was able to be gone when he woke up.

Ds2 (1yo) doesn't usually nurse when he wakes up. He wakes up happily (for the most part).

I am a firm believer in not sneaking out on my kids. But there are times now when I am waiting to leave and ds2 is just sleeping away. Like today, I was waiting to take ds1 to go out and buy a birthday present for ds2. We waited around for over an hour for ds2 to wake up, just to say goodbye and then leave. So it seemed rather silly.

But I don't want ds2 to feel abandoned by going to sleep, and I also don't want to be less sensitive to him just because he demands less of me.

So what are your thoughts on leaving while the baby is asleep?

[june'smom]

I could never leave dd when she was sleeping ever. She still NEEDS to nurse when she wakes up, but ds doesn't always nurse when he wakes so I have run to the store for food (25 mins) and he was great when I got back. I will leave him if he continues to be ok with it. If it doesn't rock there boat, it shouldn't rock yours, imo.

But I do feel you on not wanting to do less for the second just because they seem to need less. I feel guilty that I don't get to do the same stuff for ds, but I think that is part fo the deal with having a second. Especially with a high needs older child.

Louise

[ebethmom]

It sounds like our kids have similar temperaments. My ds woke up screaming mad every time and needed to nurse immediately. Dd usually wakes up happy.

I actually try to time some of my departures during dd's naptime. That way dh doesn't have to try to get her down for a nap, and she wakes up happy and rested.

I know what you mean about making sure your second child getting the attention he needs. Dd is my easygoing child - I have to make sure she isn't shortchanged!

[LunaMom]

I never left my daughter when she was still nursing, but once she was around 2 or so and DH and I occasionally left her with her grandma or a trusted sitter for an evening, I always made sure that she was awake when we left and that grandma or the sitter put her to bed. I was always concerned that at that young age, she would get really upset if we put her to bed ourselves, and then she woke up to find someone else there.

It wasn't until she was old enough to really understand that i felt comfortable having a sitter arrive after she was asleep, but even now (she's 6 1/2) I rarely do that.