My stimulated son

[dharmamama]

My son, who is supposedly two but whom I think is really three, likes to come over to me and run his hand up and down my leg or back and forth across my stomach (bare skin, he'll even lift up my shirt to do it) and say, "Ah Yuv Yoo, Momma!" (Translation: I love you) He'll stand there and do that for two or three minutes.

The problem is, he gets sexually stimulated by this. I don't want to discourage my son from showing me affection, but I don't want him to get aroused by it, either. Today, he actually came up and said, "Momma, kuss yummick!" (Translation: kiss stomach) and pulled up my shirt and kissed my stomach. He got aroused while doing so.

Is this normal? Recently I have just been taking his hand and kissing it and giving him a hug or something, but he continues to come to me and start rubbing me.

Namaste!

[Messac888]

I read and saw that no one else wrote yet, so I thought I'd give my opinion, fwiw. I don't know, honestly, if it's normal or not. I can't help but feel that it IS normal, and you hppen, secondarily, to be the object of, uh, affection. I wonder if it's not you personally that is causing him to be aroused while rubbing your stomach, but maybe it's got more to do with the softness of your stomach, or maybe he really, really likes skin contact. In which case, if it were my ds (who, like your ds, seems older than his stated age), next time he wanted to do that I would say, okay. Then, while he's rubbing my stomach, I would say, "You like rubbing momma's tunny, right?" He'll probably say yes, then you can ask, "DO you like that mommy's tummy is soft?" or anything else that you can think of. If he likes the softness, the skin, whatever he decides he likes, maybe tell him, "I see... How would you like if we went to the store and got something soft special just for you that you can rub whenever you like?" If he takes the bait, get him a soft toy, blanket, or whatever. If not, honestly, I would probably not let him rub my stomach anymore, explaining, "Honey, I know you like rubbing Mommy's tummy, but Mommy doesn't like it very much at all. Please stop now."

How do you know he is aroused by this? Does he run around in the nude alot? Nothing wrong with that, my family is a naked family as well. But maybe he's getting to the age where a little more modesty for him (in the form of a diaper that cannot be taken off easily) may be the way to go. I don't know if this is much help or not, but it's all I could think of. And btw, I don't usually recommend buying kids things to change their behaviors, but this may be one time that it would be worth doing so. Just my 2 cents.

[mamawanabe]

I say normal. Kids's sexuality is polymorphous (sp?) meaning it is all about sensuality and it doesn't really have an "object" like adult sexuality. It isn't that YOU are arousing him so much as he is enjoying pleasurable senstations and reacting to it.

Like when a dog gets an errection when you pet him (you know, not that your son is like a dog , just that it is that same kind of pleasurable physical sensation triggering another pleasurable physical sensation)

I would ignore it. But then I am not freaked out by kids' sexuality; I understand it is there and I also understand that it is a different beast entirely than the adult or even prebubesent sexuality, so I don't project.

But your feelings matter too, and if it makes you uncomfortable, I would redirect. He will know (he'll pick up on your weird feelings without knowing the cause - he may even be doing so now which may be why he is repeating the action), so I would tell him that it makes you feel funny when rubbing your belly causes him to be aroused and so you don't want him to do it.

good luck. kids are cracked, huh

[USAmma]

My first dd started doing that on my hip when she was 10 mos. old, in the sling. She was doing it on my knee when she was 2. It was soooo annoying. I'm all for hugs and kisses but not that. I just kept removing her and taking her to the room where she could do it in private. She still does it in private. I keep waiting for her to outgrow it but I'm not sure she will, she'll just get more private about it.