14 mos. old and hitting me

[Isis]

My ds just started hitting me out of anger. Example: Yesterday we were at dh Grandma's house- he was sitting next to me drawing on a piece of paper with a pencil that I had. He insisted he wanted to try! :LOL But, he shortly got up and wanted to walk away with it. I didn't think that was a good idea, so I took it away from him. He hit me and then walked over to the table and threw everything off of it in anger. How should I react? I know if I were at home, I would've replaced the pencil with a crayon and could've stopped the entire situation in it's tracks.

What do you ladies do when a 14 mos old hits you? Or vents his anger by destroying things around him?

[Natalya]

My son was doing this at 14 mo. Now, 2 months later he is MUCH better about it. I tell him that I can understand why he is angry and that it's ok, but it's not ok to hit mama. It'll take awhile, but he'll learn. Now, ds mostly screams or cries when he is angry. I've noticed he reverts to hitting when he is extremely tired or overwhelmed.

[Isis]

Thanks, Natalya!

No one else has experienced this?

[mother nurture]

My dd is also 14 months old and has been hitting for about a month, now, but is slowly decreasing. She hits me, the dog, dh, etc. Her hitting varies...sometimes she hits b/c she thinks it is funny, other times she hits because she is frusturated or angry. I believe patience and modeling is key in this situation. When she thinks it is funny I say, "Gaea, we love eachother and use gentle touches." Then I model gentle touches. She usually then does gentle touches to me, the dog, whatever she has just hit. If she is angry I say, "You seem angry. Let's not hit, though!" Then I model the sign for angry, and say angry. She usually then tries to sign angry and say it. I try to talk to her about how it's okay to be angry and frusturated, but it's not okay to hit eachother. I try not to say NO! There are times when she will continue hitting. In that case I will either remove the object, the dog, myself from the situation. It is still an issue, but it is improving. I have struggled a lot with this hitting, myself. DD also went through a biting phase! I truly believe that this is just a phase and when she is better able to express her feelings, she will grow out of it. I hope I'm right. Best of luck!

[Isis]

Originally Posted by mother nurture

My dd is also 14 months old and has been hitting for about a month, now, but is slowly decreasing. She hits me, the dog, dh, etc. Her hitting varies...sometimes she hits b/c she thinks it is funny, other times she hits because she is frusturated or angry. I believe patience and modeling is key in this situation. When she thinks it is funny I say, "Gaea, we love eachother and use gentle touches." Then I model gentle touches. She usually then does gentle touches to me, the dog, whatever she has just hit. If she is angry I say, "You seem angry. Let's not hit, though!" Then I model the sign for angry, and say angry. She usually then tries to sign angry and say it. I try to talk to her about how it's okay to be angry and frusturated, but it's not okay to hit eachother. I try not to say NO! There are times when she will continue hitting. In that case I will either remove the object, the dog, myself from the situation. It is still an issue, but it is improving. I have struggled a lot with this hitting, myself. DD also went through a biting phase! I truly believe that this is just a phase and when she is better able to express her feelings, she will grow out of it. I hope I'm right. Best of luck!

Those are really good suggestions! Thanks. How do you show her to be angry? Do you make a face? What?

[Plummeting]

My DD is about the same age and also hits constantly. She seems to think it's very funny, but she also does it when she's frustrated or angry. I simply tell her, "Hitting hurts. You may not hit people," and I try to redirect her to something else. Sometimes it helps if I give her objects to bang together or an object she can hit things with, like if I give her a plastic spoon she can hit the coffee table with. I assume she's just going to grow out of it soon.

[mother nurture]

We use signing w/ dd as well as verbal communication. So, I show her the sign for angry. I think this way if she is really upset and can't gather her words together now or in the future, she will have an alternative way to express her anger and other emotions.

[Isis]

Thanks, I'm sure I'll figure it out.

[ma eagle]

my son gets soooo mad!! wow! the fury of a toddler. he lashes out - mostly at me- sometimes at my husband or others. they seem to save the worst for mama, dont they?! i just re-read some of Dr. Sears baby book last night. he suggests verbally disapproving, removing yourself, and modeling gentle touches. sometimes my feelings are really hurt when he hits me, and i just walk away - i don;t always have the words! usually though,m i say "ouch mama" we are also using sign language, and that has REALLY helped. he can say mad and ouch, although he is usually to mad to remember to use them! you gotta love um'!