Church Manners

[lilyka]

The policy at our church has recently changed from children kindergarten having childcare during the opening of the service to having kids 2 and up wait untill after announcements. This means having my kids with me which isn't a huge problem but it is hard trying to get anything out of the service while attending two fidgety kids by myself who would rathe rbe in Snday school.. They are expected to behave or will be taken out though and I can assure you they are never allowed to annoy anyone else.

last sunday we ended up sitting next to the naughty boys. You can ask anyone at my church who I am talking about and they can tell you. One sunday I thought the praise team sounded really bad and out of tune only to relize it was htese kids sitting 10 rows in front of me screaming so loud they could be heard over the overly loud sound system reallky I can't blame them. Kids will be kids but parents need to be parents. If you want to go to church but not take care of your kids you should get a sitter. (or at least refrain fro sitting next to your bast friend and chit chatting during the service instead of parenting your children.

OK, back to last sunday, I knew I was sitting next to these people but didn't see thier children and needed an end seat (incase I needed to make a quick escape with my children). I figured her children were allowed back in Sunday school (got kicked out for being continuously disruptive and cmpletely uncooperative and the parents not doing anything about it - imagine seriously teachers have refused to ever teach again on account of them.) Well about 5 minutes into the service began they came running in, slamming the door behind them. After running up and down the isle a couple of times they squeezed in past me (I am 8 1/2 months preg. my 2 year old was propped on the seat in front of me nd dd was in a crabby mood but behaving and dh was doing sound). This wouldn't have bothered me once, not twice, not even three times but around the 20th time that they went back and forth without saying so much as excuse me (they are about 8 and 9 by the way - not preschoolers) i just about lost it. This was 20 times in the course of three praise songs. 15 minutes tops. Would it have rude of me to move. The parents would have known why. Anyone who saw it would have known why and I certainly wasn't in the mood to be apologetic or pretend that the seats across the isle just had a better view. Eventually i just pretended not to notice them and refused to move. So he started to climp on the flodig chairs behind me, walking on our coats and stuff, getting stuck in our seats and his mom fished him out and gave me a dirty look. Was I being unreasonable. Like I said even a few times wouldn't have phased me but 20 times in 15 minutes! Godd grief take them out and play outside with them until Sunday school starts. ASm I expecting to much.

[kama'aina mama]

I would have moved. They may have felt insulted, but tough communion wafers, man! You're ability to do what you came to do (pray in relative peace) comes before their desire to subject you to the abuses of their ill mannered children. My church is pretty tolerant of kids being kids but this goes way beyond. I wouldn't let my two year old behave like that!

[barbara]

IMO at 8 and 9 these kids ought to have more respect for others then to be pushing past you, in and out so much, and climbing on the chairs! Parents need to pay attention to their children's needs and make sure that they aren't disrupting the people around them. At our church we encourage little ones to dance during the praise and worship time, but if they start running around and bummping into people, someone helps them to refocus. Sometimes children come that aren't use to movement during a service, and take it as an invitation to horse around. They respond well to being gently showed (by an adult or another child) how to respectfully dance, march, wave banners and raise their hands to praise the Lord. I don't know if that is an option with the 2 boys you mentioned, but it might be help keep them from disrupting future services.

b

[lilyka]

i grew up ion a great church where children were encouraged to dance up front so long as thier praise was ginuine and not just horsing around (it was a small church and people would step in if parents didn't notice). It was not the movement that bothered me. My children dance in the isle (even though our church isn't too hip to that) but that is why I sit on the end! I am the most tolerant person you will ever meet. I can extend a lot of grace because so much has been extended to me and my family. but this was rediculous. I should have moved but I just didn't want to be rude. I can't exactly do anything discreetly these days. what with children, coats, and my ever growing belly . . .

[gossamer]

Kama mama,

Tough Communion Wafers

:LOL

[barbara]

lilyka, I completely understand. Doing anything discreetly with little ones can be a challenge. I wonder if your pastor, or someone else in church leadership could talk to these parents. It sounds like an ongoing problem, that isn't going to just go away on it's own. I don't mean to sound trite, but prayer can work wonders. Maybe you could try praying for these kids and their parents. There were two young girls in our church years ago that were really obnoxious. I had such a hard time dealing with them. Finally I began praying for them and their mother. Over the years my love for them seemed to grow. They not only stopped anoying me, but the ironic thing is that my son ended up married to one of them! She is the best daughter-in-law I could imagine. They are planning a homebirth for their first child due in Feb. Their mom and I also became good friends! You never know what God might do!

b

[kama'aina mama]

Glad you enjoyed that Gosamer!

You know Barbara, you do make a great point. It is hard to maintain a decent annoyance at someone while actively praying for them. And lets face it, so often in life all you can really hope to control is your own feeling about things, not teh actions of others.