It started Saturday. We went to Six Flags Amusement Park. I walked by some lady telling an 8-10 yr old "shut up". The group consisted of a woman, man, boy and girl. The whole group looked very upset. It was right after they opened too so it's not like they had been there all day and were just tired and couldn't deal anymore. I just thought it was sad that in a place where you are supposed to have fun they were all very upset looking.
Then as we were leaving I was just about to comment to my DH that we had not seen anyone hit their kid all day and then it happened right in front of me. A kid hit another kid with some toy he had in his hand and the woman walked up and grabbed his arm and smacked him on his bare leg. At this point I became very upset and began yelling "that is not even spanking, that's just hitting. he hit that kid so you hit him. that's just brilliant". This was not my finest moment and I feel so guilty and ashamed for acting this way. I am just so sick and tired of people talking about spanking as discipline and they don't even do it the supposed "right way". From my understanding the "right way" is *not in anger *in private *praying and hugging afterwards. I have never come into contact with a person that did it this way. My mil says her pastor does it this way. I just can't handle seeing it happen. It hurts me so much and affects me physically and mentally. I need to find a better way to deal with these things when I witness them.
On Sunday my DS and I went to my cousin's ds's b-day party. He turned 3. When it was cake time and time for him to blow out his candle some guy that was there (relative of the dad) thought it would be funny to blow out his candle. Well this upset the b-day boy very much and he began to tantrum (he had not had a nap). He ended up getting a spanking over his tantrum. No one validated his feelings or even said anything to the guy. They just told the kid that it's not that big of a deal. Then later his sister had pushed him and she ended up getting a spanking. My DS and I did not witness these spankings thankfully. Earlier my cousin had told the sister she could not take a chair in her room and then the girl tried to sneak it and I heard her say "do you want a spanking right here in front of everyone" (humiliation tactic). The whole day my cousin kept saying to me how well behaved my DS was which made me feel good.
Then this morning I went to drop my nephew's off at daycare for my brother and I heard one of the teachers in the baby room say "don't touch, you need to learn you can't have everything you want". After the words "don't touch” I heard a snapping sound. I thought she had smacked his hand. I walked into the room and asked her if she was a teacher and asked her if she had just smacked his hand. She immediately said “oh no, I would never do that”. I apologized and said that it was just because of the dialog and the snapping noise that I had heard that I thought that. She went to the CD player and pushed the lid closed and asked “was that the noise?” and it was so I apologized again and walked away. I just had to make sure you know. I am leery of this daycare because there have been 3 times that I have walked into my nephew’s room to hear a teacher screaming at a school aged kid. I have reported it to my brother but he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I feel that the teachers should not be speaking to the kids this way. Also, the baby room teacher should not be setting him up for failure by having the cd player on the ground.
Anyone have any tips on how to handle spanking situations when I encounter them? What do you do? I know I should either just turn the other cheek or offer help but it’s so hard to be nice to someone who has just been so mean to a child. I really need to work on this. It’s not good the way that I’m handling it now. I literally shake. I get especially upset when it happens in front of my child. But then I’m more concerned with comforting my child instead of giving the spanker a piece of my mind. (my ds was not at the six flags incident)
I hope I don't offend anyone who used to spank by calling it abuse. It's not that I consider spanking a CPS offense but I feel it is abuse of some sort. And as I said before, it just burns me that they call some of the things they do spanking.
Then as we were leaving I was just about to comment to my DH that we had not seen anyone hit their kid all day and then it happened right in front of me. A kid hit another kid with some toy he had in his hand and the woman walked up and grabbed his arm and smacked him on his bare leg. At this point I became very upset and began yelling "that is not even spanking, that's just hitting. he hit that kid so you hit him. that's just brilliant". This was not my finest moment and I feel so guilty and ashamed for acting this way. I am just so sick and tired of people talking about spanking as discipline and they don't even do it the supposed "right way". From my understanding the "right way" is *not in anger *in private *praying and hugging afterwards. I have never come into contact with a person that did it this way. My mil says her pastor does it this way. I just can't handle seeing it happen. It hurts me so much and affects me physically and mentally. I need to find a better way to deal with these things when I witness them.
On Sunday my DS and I went to my cousin's ds's b-day party. He turned 3. When it was cake time and time for him to blow out his candle some guy that was there (relative of the dad) thought it would be funny to blow out his candle. Well this upset the b-day boy very much and he began to tantrum (he had not had a nap). He ended up getting a spanking over his tantrum. No one validated his feelings or even said anything to the guy. They just told the kid that it's not that big of a deal. Then later his sister had pushed him and she ended up getting a spanking. My DS and I did not witness these spankings thankfully. Earlier my cousin had told the sister she could not take a chair in her room and then the girl tried to sneak it and I heard her say "do you want a spanking right here in front of everyone" (humiliation tactic). The whole day my cousin kept saying to me how well behaved my DS was which made me feel good.
Then this morning I went to drop my nephew's off at daycare for my brother and I heard one of the teachers in the baby room say "don't touch, you need to learn you can't have everything you want". After the words "don't touch” I heard a snapping sound. I thought she had smacked his hand. I walked into the room and asked her if she was a teacher and asked her if she had just smacked his hand. She immediately said “oh no, I would never do that”. I apologized and said that it was just because of the dialog and the snapping noise that I had heard that I thought that. She went to the CD player and pushed the lid closed and asked “was that the noise?” and it was so I apologized again and walked away. I just had to make sure you know. I am leery of this daycare because there have been 3 times that I have walked into my nephew’s room to hear a teacher screaming at a school aged kid. I have reported it to my brother but he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I feel that the teachers should not be speaking to the kids this way. Also, the baby room teacher should not be setting him up for failure by having the cd player on the ground.
Anyone have any tips on how to handle spanking situations when I encounter them? What do you do? I know I should either just turn the other cheek or offer help but it’s so hard to be nice to someone who has just been so mean to a child. I really need to work on this. It’s not good the way that I’m handling it now. I literally shake. I get especially upset when it happens in front of my child. But then I’m more concerned with comforting my child instead of giving the spanker a piece of my mind. (my ds was not at the six flags incident)
I hope I don't offend anyone who used to spank by calling it abuse. It's not that I consider spanking a CPS offense but I feel it is abuse of some sort. And as I said before, it just burns me that they call some of the things they do spanking.
well i would what a dumb and just plain stupid thing to do.
?
