Week of July 11-18

[nubianamy]

Hey, I feel special; I'm the first to post in the new week's topic thread. =)

BF is feeling anxious about telling anyone. I have already told my sister and best friend, and am writing about it on these boards, but he doesn't want us to tell our parents until we see the dr. History: his mother lost her second shortly after she was borth (between him and his sister 10 years later) and she is *still* grieving.

I, on the other hand, want to tell EVERYONE... the mailman, folks I pass on the street... =) Especially want to tell my folks, we are very close and I don't keep anything from them! And I know they will be thrilled. Plus, they are moving to NC in two months, and I want to maximize our time together talking about... this! =)

Any suggestions or advice from more experienced mamas?

Thanks!!

[JillChristina]

I'm also a "want to tell everyone" person. I'm so happy and excited, why hide that? Plus I figure if (God forbid) something happens, I'll be telling people anyway. Why not let others share in the joy?

With my first, we told a few people right away but within two weeks of finding out we were pg, everyone (family and friends) knew. This time everyone knew almost the day I found out I was pregnant. :LOL I just can't keep a secret. Especially a good one.

So I say, why hide it? If you want to share, go for it! If things do take a turn for the worse (heaven forbid), at least you know you'll have loving support to get you through the hard times.


My daughter is being so incredibly cute about the new baby. Out of nowhere she'll come up to me and say, "I love your baby, Mommy" or "Hi, baby!" She's been telling me and dh, "Congratulations, Daddy. Congratulations, Mommy." She also sang a lullaby to my friend's belly (she's due in December) the other day at lunch. It was too precious! She's going to be an amazing big sister.

Jill

[RedOakMomma]

We told everyone the day we found out, but that's just because we're not great at secrets. I think we might have waited a week or so and just told our nearest and dearest, but it worked this way, too.

I haven't gone through the pain of m/c (and I hoping I never do), but close friends that have gone through it were actually glad they had told their closest family and friends about the pregnancy. They said it helped them feel supported and understood during that very difficult time following a m/c. They were glad the news of being pregnant hadn't traveled _too_ far (having to tell the mailperson you've m/ced is a little harsh), but close friends and parents/siblings are part of that little web of support and love we all need.

You might try explaining that to bf....and if he thinks it would be too hard for his mom to hear about a pregnancy only to worry about m/c, then maybe you could wait a little while to tell his parents. If you're feeling the need to reach out and tell your family, though, maybe he'd agree to a limited circle of people knowing?

Also, try reminding him that once you see the heartbeat (are you getting an early ultrasound? Some do, some don't), there's only a very, very slim chance of m/c. Once your'e past that 8-10 week mark, you're golden.

[kdamnspot]

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[amyrobynne]

We've told everybody. I was posting about it on my blog and enough family and friends see it that we had to tell the rest before they heard second-hand. I figure we'd tell people if I miscarried, too.

This week has been rougher than the last (have I known for 2 weeks already? whoa). I NEED to nap with my son in the afternoon and some days he's fought the nap and I get super-grouchy. I usually only need 6-7 hours of sleep a day and I'm sleeping probably 7-9 hours at night plus a 2 hour nap on average.

The nausea comes and goes here. I've discovered that if I get out and exercise I feel much better and I'm a natural sloth so I don't know if I like that or not. I got out my rollerblades and put my toddler in the jogging stroller this morning and we had a great time.

6 weeks tomorrow!

[RedOakMomma]

g'morning, all!

k~ I like your rule of thumb. That seems like the perfect balance.

Amy~ I hear you on the naps! An afternoon nap or resting time is starting to become a necessity.

Thought I'd post a couple of anti-nausea things that have been helping me the last few days....

The first is fresh-brewed iced peppermint tea. It's so easy. Pour about a half cup of boiling water over a peppermint tea bag, brew for a few minutes. Then fill the cup with ice and let it melt--instant ice tea! Peppermint is so soothing...

The second doesn't really soothe the nausea, but it's strangely tastey and something my body will keep down. Pear (or any fruit) nectar! You can get it in natural food stores. The added bonus of nectar over juice is that it has more natural fiber, so if anybody's reached that dreaded constipation stage of the first trimester, the nectar will help.

A pregnant friend also mentioned that thin crisp ginger cookies (like Anna's brand) are awfully soothing to the tummy. They're pretty lo-cal because they're so thin, and you only need a few to notice the effects of the ginger.

Time to finish my tea and wake up the kiddos,

[nubianamy]

Originally Posted by RedOakMomma

Try reminding him that once you see the heartbeat (are you getting an early ultrasound? Some do, some don't), there's only a very, very slim chance of m/c. Once your'e past that 8-10 week mark, you're golden.

I was not planning to get an early ultrasound. It seems like just another unnecessary intervention... like taking off the lid on a pot of rice and stirring it up just to "see what's going on" will ruin the rice! But maybe if it will alleviate fears, I will go ahead.

Last night I put my foot down and said, "If you want to be part of this pregnancy, you're going to either have to do lots of your own research and reach your own conclusions about what is best for this baby, or trust me to make the right decisions." He was not happy about it, but in the end admitted that he would rather do the healthy thing for our baby, instead of being right. =) And he agreed that it was my decision if I wanted to tell my parents.

So this morning he was very subdued and asking questions like, "Do you think you're going to have enough room to give birth at home (we live in a tiny place)? I know you're going to want to walk around." =) He said he would like to go with me to interview midwives. Progress!

[RedOakMomma]

Maggi~ glad things are resolving themselves. I forgot to mention, too, that I lived in Ann Arbor for three years! What a great city! There are a few really strong La Leche League groups there, too, and they're a great resource for mamas-to-be. When you get closer to the birth, you might want to look them up....

[nubianamy]

Originally Posted by kdamnspot

But if it's a person that I know would support me and that I would feel comfortable having know about a m/c, then I feel okay telling them about the pregnancy now.

What I decided to do was:

- Tell my parents.
- Tell a select group of people on LiveJournal, where I can gripe and moan safely.
- Wait to tell everyone else until bf is ready.

Also, my sister and best friend know (she is also TTC, with IVF) so I have people with whom I can discuss it in person, too.

[Mrs Dimples]

Glad you guys reached a decision!

Us, we told everyone the same day. We did the first time, too. We live nearby our families and see them often, so it would be hard to keep it a secret. Plus it's just so fun to have everyone share in our happiness!

I have my first appointment to see my MW in person on Thursday, I am very excited. I spoke with her for an hour on the phone a couple of weeks ago and I think she is going to be the one. I have interviewed a few others but no luck. My DH is coming to meet her as well and I am hoping that she will be able to alleviate his last little reservations about homebirth. He is just about there, he just needs to have a couple of concerns addressed. I can't wait!

[kdamnspot]

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[kdamnspot]

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[nubianamy]

Originally Posted by RedOakMomma

Maggi~ glad things are resolving themselves. I forgot to mention, too, that I lived in Ann Arbor for three years! What a great city! There are a few really strong La Leche League groups there, too, and they're a great resource for mamas-to-be. When you get closer to the birth, you might want to look them up....

Oh, that's neat! I love Ann Arbor. I have already called LLL. =) They have three meetings a week. Unfortunately I'm not living in Ann Arbor this summer, so I'll probably have to wait until fall.

[Mrs Dimples]

Originally Posted by kdamnspot

And Mrs. Dimples, I dig the Tori Amos sig.

- kdamnspot

Why, thank you!

Devlin attended his first Tori concert in utero, and it looks like this babe will too since she's coming here in September.

[jessiemom]

redoakmomma, how did you get the time line with the baby that tells how far along you are? I used to know and now I forget and I want one for my siggy. Thanks

[RedOakMomma]

Jessie~ Up at the top of your screen, go into "user cp" and then "edit signature." In your signature, just type out the timeline, adding in whatever picture you want for the current week. You'll have to change it every week, but it's kind of fun. I look forward to changing mine every Friday--it's like "phew, one week down, 33 to go...."

Anyone else feeling really tired and really sick? I'm starting to need 12 hours of sleep a day, and yesterday the only food that looked tolerable was watermelon. I don't know if I've typed this before, but looking back on my previous pregnancy (and now going through the first trimester again), I'd take labor over 7 weeks of morning sickness ANY DAY!! Labor is just one day, and you can do anything for one day. Seven weeks of feeling worn down and ill, though--oy. It's WAY worse than labor! I don't know why our culture makes such a big deal out of the "pain" of birth...pregancy and childbearing is so much more intense in other ways.

(the good part of being this sick....ever the optimist!....is that I'm glad little bean is attaching this strongly. It's also making me value the idea of adopting #4 more and more. I used to wonder if I'd miss the pregnancy part of adopting a child, and now I feel very confident that I won't miss it at all. I'll be so thankful to skip it alltogether!)

How's everyone else feeling?

[LisaG]

Hi Elisabeth - sorry to hear you're feeling so sick and tired. But I know what you mean about it being somewhat reassuring.

I've been doing pretty good. Tired, evening nausea, but no puking, and if I don't think about it I can still get the food down. It's weird - I'm tired but when I lay down to sleep I can't seem to fall into the deep sleep I'm wanting. Dh says my boobs feel like water balloons when he hugs me - he's like a kid in a candystore :LOL

Hope everyone's doing well - welcome to the newbies!!

Lisa

[nubianamy]

Mild nausea here, but nothing major. I am still eating tons. I have always been underweight and had to work to keep up my weight, and now I feel even more reason to do so.

My mom was so funny tonight! She grabbed my breasts, and said, "Oh, my god!" =) I have always been small-breasted, so any slight change is obvious... hee!

[mexiguat]

Hi I am about 4 weeks from conception and about 6 weeks from last period. I have my 1st appt. this monday the 25th and will probably have a ultrasound (vaginal). How soon can one hear/see the heartbeat on an ultrasound?

[sarahkjack]

I have had boughts of nausea in the last week or so....most of the time eating something helps. I felt horrible tonight and couldn't decide if it was morning sickness, or a touch of the bug my dd seems to have picked up!

Sarah, mommy to Nathaniel, Ethan & Emily
Expecting a New Bundle of Joy 3/6/06