New to this

[calebsmom]

I just wanted to say hello to all of you. I am a young single mother of a two year old. I work full time, and feel that I do not have enogh time in a day to spend with my son (a typical feeling from everyone I'm sure

I just wanted to get to know some people and form a support group with mothers that are going through the same issues.

Please feel free to E-mail me directly if you want. I really need a friendly suport group!!!

Hope to meet you all,

Cassandra

[ediesmom]

Welcome!

I am also a single mother. I never think that I have enough time to spend with my little one, she's five. I just always make sure that the time we do spend together is good.

I try not to spend the few hours in the evening cooking or cleaning, we eat very simple meals during the week. And the house gets cleaned on a rotation type of basis, while letting go of my need for perfection. I figure if the bathroom is sanitary, our eating area is clean and our bed is clean that is enough, everything else will get done when it gets done.

Glad you are here.

Ediesmom

[Mami_Mala]

Welcome

I"m a single working mom to a 4 year old. and boy do I feel your pain. Its hard to balance work, home and personal time ( huh whats that? I make the t8ime I am at home very special but it helps that I have a supportive network of family and friends.

So you're not alone at all.

I look forward to sharing more.

[happyday8598]

Hey there! I'm a single mom who works full time and goes to school part time. I know the feeling of not feeling as though you spend enough time with your child!

It's SO hard!

You're not alone! I promise!

It's even harder, bc it's difficult to get creative with work situations when you don't have another person to compensate in other areas.

I'm sure you'll find TONS of support here!

By the way, I have a Caleb, too! Caleb Nicholas... He's almost 10 months!

Where are you from?

Welcome to Mothering!

Love,
Emily

[phathui5]

I'm lucky enough to have a job where I can take Patrick with me. Not a great paying job, but he's there. My problem right now is that I feel like I'm too stressed out lately to be what he needs.

[Ceinwyn]

feeling better

Boy does it feel good to hear that. I use to be home full time and now I'm doing my degree and in practice it's rough. It's especially difficult when I drop them with their dad and they ask to come home. they love him to bits, but it's not the same. I let them sleep in my bed on given nights a week and waking up time is a treat and a half! Tickled toes and giggling morning voices. I don't feel like I give enough quality time at the moment but I'm trying to make the most of it! Oh yeah, I've recently found myself fantasizing about having a dishwasher...time for a holiday?

[alianmama]

AS a veteran single mom (ds's 8 & 14) honey, I can relate. Single parenting is tough- but MUCH easier than coparenting in a bad relationship!! At the very least, as a single mothers we get to create the healthy, harmonious home environments that we know is right for us.

It is tough taking care of the friggin' logistics! Day care, driving, sick days etc. I am very fortunate in that my exes are excellent fathers and I am 100% comfortable with them having the boys every other weekend (yes, 2 boys 2 dads) so, with the overlapping schedule I have for the boys, I get 4 days child-free every other weekend. I have an iron-clad rule that when I have my children, they get every second of my time.

If you have a dad in the picture, hopefully you two have been able to work out parenting together. Sadly I know this is often not the case. So then we go to plan B:

Friends. Friends are the family that we get to CHOOSE. I have found that I simply have to put myself out there and ask for help, and make sure I return the favor or at least offer to. Parents of your child's classmates are an excellent place to start. If you know someone is genuinely nice, get together with them. Find out if there is something you can do that will benefit them, and ask. Never hurts.

Here I am focusing on getting help with the logistics, and getting to have time alone. Single moms NEED to have time alone- all humans need that in order to be able to purely think or simply be, or to have healthy, adult social lives. I can't emphasize that enough. Mothers, women, need to replenish themselves with balance in mind. Children are magic- essential beauty- but they are not everything.

As far as time with your child...don't give in to guilt. You are doing the best you can! If you ARE doing your best, and trust your childcare providers, then relax. Your child knows you are the center of their life- they know that with absolute clarity. If you are doing your best- and that does not mean sacrifice being a well-balanced human woman- then accept that. Don't fall for the guilt trip our society pushes on moms to be friggin' saints and to live through their children. My children are sacred to me and I am honored to have them- yet I know that I must honor the gift that is ME- my life, talents, interests etc. Not to care for myself makes me less of a person, less of a mother!

Enjoy your life!

namaste
S