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Max age limit for first child birth

post #1 of 52
Thread Starter 
Hi, Could anyone tell what is the max age limit for a women to postpone her first child birth so that no complicacies occurs.
And wht is the best age for going for the first child.
post #2 of 52
It really depends on the individual. Of course there's never a guarantee there won't be complications, no matter what the mother's age is. I know plenty of women who've had their first baby in their forties and everything went fine. There are plenty of statistics out there, if that's what you're looking for, but all in all it's really about one's own comfort level and life circumstances.
post #3 of 52
Thread Starter 
Thanks queenie, But i am not thinking about late 40's.
I am 26 now and planning for first baby at around 30 and second at around 35. Just wanted to know if this is ok.
post #4 of 52
Your fertility begins to decline after age 30, and declines more quickly the second half of that decade of your life.

Doesn't mean you can't get pregnant then, though.

post #5 of 52
There is no way you can predict or plan when to get pg. My "plan" was also to have a baby in my early 30's. Imagine my shock to find out my dh had severe male factor infertility, and we had go through many cycles of IVF before being successful and having first child at 35. Had second at 36.

I have a cousin who got pg with first 3 kids within a month of trying, her first was in her late twenties. In her mid thirties she tried for #4, only to have to try for well over a year.

You just can't predict.
post #6 of 52
Originally Posted by prolife
I am 26 now and planning for first baby at around 30 and second at around 35. Just wanted to know if this is ok.
There are many, many, many women in this age group having children.
post #7 of 52
I had my first at 31 and my 2nd at 33. We both kids, I got pregnant the same month that we decided to start trying (My DH and I joke that all we have to do to make a baby is say "wouldn't it be nice to have a baby?" and then pass in the hallway ). There were complications with both births, and although I wanted natural childbirth, I had 2 c-sections.

There are no guarentees about anything. Some women conceive very easily, and some don't. Some women have easy pregnancies and some don't. Some women have easy births, and some don't. Some women breastfeed easily, and some find it very hard to get started. It all was easy for me except for the actual birth. And honestly, watching the absolute hell that women go through who have fertility problems or are prone to miscarrages, and I feel very lucky and blessed.

I think it if you talking about the difference between having a child at 27 and having one at 30, how your particular body works is the biggest factor in how it will all go though. The 3 years won't make much of a difference. As far as your 2nd child goes, the way the birth of the first one goes is the biggest determining factor. My sis had her 3rd and last child at 38 and had a very very easy birth -- she was in labor 3 hours and the baby just popped out. It was the same as her first 2 births, but the labor time became shorter with each child.
post #8 of 52
35 is when the medical community considers you an "elderly" mother : and when risks and such greatly increase. granted I know a lot of people who have had perfectly healthy kids at that age.
post #9 of 52
I despise the term "elderly primipara" or "advanced maternal age." Utterly digusting and sexist IMO.

I think the main problem w/ waiting is the possiblity of fertility issues. I think most women and couples never imagine that they will be the ones to suffer IF. For me, I wasn't willing to wait and risk it...and it still took a little while to conceive both of my children (8 months for DD and 14 months for this baby...not long in the grand scheme of things and not long compared to many, many womens' journeys, but long enough to scare me and make me glad I didn't wait).

On the other hand, many many couples wait and have no problems conceiving or having healthy children.
post #10 of 52
I don't think 30 is too old. I had my first at 24...but my 2nd and 3rd were/will be at 34 and 37.

On the other hand, I learned the hard way how unpredictable these things are. I expected to have my four kids by about age 31 or so. After ds was born, I couldn't get pregnant...nobody ever figured out why (although I think my ex's then-secret drug use contributed). It took me almost four years to conceive again, and I lost that baby and the next two...thus the 10 year gap between ds and dd.

I guess what I'm saying is that I see no problem with having your first at 30, but when it comes to planning it...all bets are off. Fertility problems are more common than many people realize. And, I don't think anybody ever thinks it will happen to them, until it does.

Good luck!
post #11 of 52
Your fertility begins to decline at 28. At 35, the risks of genetic abnormalities (like Downs Syndrome) are much higher than at 25 or 30.
post #12 of 52
We conceived DS when I was 27 on the very first try. Then when I was 31 we started TTC for baby #2 and it took 9 months to "take." Not that 9 months is an eternity by any means, it just seemed like a very long time to me. I also had very regular cycles, clear signs of ovulation, and DH was even tested and was ok (borderline motility issues, but everything else fine) so there was really no reason why we couldn't conceive quicker other than my age I suppose.

So I do think its "best" to have babies in your 20's in terms of fertility and egg viability, but life doesnt always work out so well. If you think you will be emotionally, physically, financially (or whatever) better able to handle a baby in your 30's then go for it.

I have a friend who was told she was AMA at 31, so some Drs just want any excuse to treat a pregnant woman like she has a disease. :
post #13 of 52
Originally Posted by BensMom
I have a friend who was told she was AMA at 31, so some Drs just want any excuse to treat a pregnant woman like she has a disease. :
They must love me...I'm healthy as a horse - but I've also had three m/c, two c-sections, I'm 37 and I'm very overweight. Sometime, I think they're disappointed when my b/p and pulse and everything else are perfectly fine.
post #14 of 52
well, i got pg by accident the first time at 36. i mean without even trying. we got close to the big O and that was it. the second and third time i got pg the first month i tried but i had early miscarriages with both. i was still bf'ding my first and was exhausted but wanted to start trying b/c by then i was 38ish. the fourth time i got pg, again it was the first try and this time i have had zero problems and a very healthy pregnancy. i am 39 and will be 40 in november.

i didnt intend to wait this long but x-dh really didnt want to have a kid but kinda kept stringing me along etc etc. the only reason i got up the gutts to leave him was b/c i was going to do donor insemination on my own!! but then i ended up with the dh i have now and he said well if i am gonna be around, i might as well be the daddy! i think we just are a good match b/c i did have unprotected sex with x-dh and nada.

so, it's not ideal to wait too long but i dont have any real regrets. my only eye opener was the fact that you are more likely to have miscarriages as you age not just problems getting pg. ya know i was prepared emotionally for it to take 6 months - a year even to get pg but i was NOT prepared to have the m/c's. i did take some proactive steps before becoming pg this last time i mean like balancing my hormones, getting more rest and weaning dd (at 22 months).

sorry to go on and on!! i say just keep an open mind. i always thought i would have my first at 29 and that would be it. never thought i would be the momma of two kids at 40!!! but i have to believe the universe is unfolding as it should!
post #15 of 52
i had my children at 35,37 and 41. all healthy. m/c at 39. no problems getting pregnant but now at 43 i am having 50 days between periods. we never know natures plan
post #16 of 52
Storm Bride - Don't feel bad,the docs hate me too!not only am I overweight,but I've had 2 m/c's,1 c-sec,and even though I'm normaly very healthy,I am prone to seasonal infections.And you're right,they do seem to be dissapointed when they can find nothing wrong with me.
BTW,my mom had me [#4] when she was 41,30 minutes of labor,and here I am!
As for the OT,I won't be 21 until Nov.,and I've already got 2 kids.And the ironic part?I had 3 different,non-affiliated docs tell me when I was 13 that I'd never birth my own children b/c I had extensive scar tissue build-up from past fibroid tumors in my uterus. How depressing can that be for a 13 y.o.?! I had 2 early m/c's before I was 16 [just wasn't my time to be mom yet,I guess].Started dating my LP in Oct. '01,and I was preg in March of '02,w/o even trying!Just goes to show,everyone's different.Fertility IS NOT concrete and everlasting.And no matter what your life's plans are,remember,Nature knows you better than you do,you'll be a mom when it's time,regardless of the schedule.
Best of luck mama-to-be!
post #17 of 52
One factor I considered, too, in "planning" my life, is that breastfeeding your first child b/f age 30 has a greater protective effect against breast cancer than doing so after age 30.

I'd like to be done having babies by age 34. Since I am 28 now, but would like 4 total, I'd better get a move on :LOL! But I'm not stressing about it. I know that it'll work out as it should, one way or another.
post #18 of 52
I had m/c first then my first son at 24 second at 27 third at 36, M/c (6/05) at 38 and am TTC again. The way my OB explained it when I asked about my age was it depends on the womans eggs. Some women have "overly mature" (pc of saying old) at 30 some women dont hit the that point until mid 40's. I have always gotten pregnant very easily either by accident or the 1st month. My OB gave me the go head to ttc. As for the complications they can occur at anyage. I m/c at 15 weeks when I was 22.
post #19 of 52
The worst thing about having children after 30, and even moreso if you are over 35 or 40, is the way doctors treat you. IMO, there is nothing inherently wrong or dangerous about being an older mother, but the fear doctors feel creates most of the problems (with the exception of genetic anomalies).
I waited until 32 to have my first, though we had been trying for a bit longer than most due to my endometriosis. I wouldn't change a thing. When I was in my 20's I was not ready to have children. I was not quite mature enough to handle the sort of stress that comes with being a parent. I have a different perspective than some of my younger mommy friends, and it seems easier for me to deal with things that other parents perceive to be huge problems.
post #20 of 52
Circumstances are so varied for each individual, and for many reasons - not just age. I got pg at 31 with my first child after trying for over a year. This time, at 33, we have a "houdini" baby - we weren't even trying.

just reiterating what others are saying - there are some things you just can't "plan" for very predictably...
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