Max age limit for first child birth - Page 3

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by Viola

Both my pregnancies were like this, and I was pregnant at 31/32 and 36. And I'm morbidly obese to boot. I'm done having kids, though. I have a feeling it just gets harder and harder with each pregnancy.

That could certainly be it. I know this one has been the hardest (although still awfully easy, when I look at what a lot of women I know have been through). On the other hand, I've also been dealing with nightmares and depression related to the probability of a third c-section, and I didn't have that feeling with the first two, as both those sections were unexpected. Maybe this is more about my psychological state than about being 37.

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

Hugs Adina.

[wannabe]

Yes, Adina, and I beleive that education is key - that when you walk into the RE's office is too late to discover they won't treat a 43 year old.

If you know, you can make a decision.

I'm not surprised you find it hard to beleive that you can be refused treatment - PCOS is pretty easy to treat - they just need to tweak the stims for maturity.

[katenyc]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

but when it comes to planning it...all bets are off. Fertility problems are more common than many people realize. And, I don't think anybody ever thinks it will happen to them, until it does.

:

I went off bcp on my 26th birthday and gave birth when I was 29. Dh is a year older than I am. No health problems, nothing diagnosible...just took 30 cycles (including 3 failures w/"medical help") to get pg. We conceived by "accident" a few months before a planned IVF.

I have a friend who is 32 who definitely wants a child. I keep telling her not to wait too long (well, it's more brainwaves, because it isn't my business) because you just never know.

Infertility was a gift, though, in a way, because dh and I used to be such obsessive planners about what our family was going to look like (such and such # of kids, spaced so and so apart)--now I don't even think about it anymore. I just love my baby in the here and now. Someday I'd like her to be a big sister, but it's really not in my control!

[AdinaL]

Originally Posted by wannabe

I'm not surprised you find it hard to beleive that you can be refused treatment - PCOS is pretty easy to treat - they just need to tweak the stims for maturity.

I have NEVER said that...NOT ONCE. I know you can be refused treatment. Very clear on that. I don't find it hard to believe at all.

As for PCOS being easy to treat...thank you so much for minimizing my journey. It is nice to know that my fertility problems are so simple.

[Camellia]

Originally Posted by wannabe

If they're 45 it definitely won't work. Those are the facts.

I just have to jump in here and say that my husbands aunt is pregnant as a result of IVF and is definately over 45. I'm not sure of her exact age, but she is closer to 50 than 45.

I'm not educated enough on this subject to contribute much, but just wanted to point out that the above statement is not fact.

[Daffodil]

Originally Posted by wannabe

Your fertility declines from 35, steeply at 38 and drops to almost nothing by 43.

After then you'd need to have an egg donor, but you could still give birth.

But you're talking about IVF success rates, which isn't exactly the same thing as "fertility." It may be true that almost no woman 43 or older will get pregnant through IVF with her own eggs, but most women in their 40's who get pregnant or try to aren't using IVF. There are probably a lot of 43 year old women who are able to get pregnant naturally. (I'm one of them! I also did IVF successfully at 40.) My understanding is that older eggs often aren't able to withstand all the manipulation involved in IVF as well as younger eggs. But the fragility of those older eggs is less of an issue if you're not trying to remove them from the body. (Though of course there are other issues, like an increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities.)

[hollyhobbie]

i will be 40 in a couple of months. i got pregnant this time on the first try and this has been my easiest and best pregnancy!! (maybe i said this in my last post) i agree that every woman is different and i feel very blessed for my fertility and would not want to wait this long if i had to do it all over again.

i agree with adina that each woman needs to find her own path and be really educated. scare tactics and hard cold facts do not help!! i worked in adoptions for a while and there are TONS of stories of couples who had infertility issues and decided to move on to adoption then had babies!! over and over. no medical explanation. no facts can explain these types of things. i will tell any woman i meet not to wait and about the heartbreak of m/c and the possibility of not getting pregnant. but i also tell em my story and tell them to learn everything they can.

[wannabe]

Lindsay, I don't want to intrude on your aunt's decisions, and things she may not want to discuss with the whole world before she discusses them with her child, but please understand that an IVF pregnancy from their own eggs in someone nearing 50 would have been reported as a case study in one of the journals.

But I'm going to leave you all in your fantasy world now, where people just *know* their partner has azoospermia, or their tubes are blocked by endo, and that if they feel healthy they can have babies when they're 50.

As you've said, facts are not welcome here - I was sadly mistaken in thinking that people asking questions wanted factual, truthful answers.

[nora--not a llama]

Um, wannabe, dontcha think your words are kind of rude and hateful and hurtful? Don't other people's feelings matter at all?

[anythingelse]

In a perfect plan you can have one child at 35 and another at 37 and everything goes well but IRL I have never met one mom that had things go exactly how they planned.


I have 4 children (16, 11, 8, and 5) and am in my early 40s. I miscarried between pregancys - and also had babies with birth defects. Most of my gf are my same age, the ones that are starting their families are all having lots of $$$$ related to that and health issues, problems staying pregnant. I was not financially or emotionally 'ready' when my oldest was born but it was definately the easiest pregnancy and healthiest child.

IMHO have your babies in your 20 and early 30s if you know you want them & want more then one. I would not wait till 35 and think I was going to be able to have 2.

[Camellia]

See, I have very little knowledge in this dept. They must not have been her eggs

Anyway, I will leave this discussion now.