My 6-year-old still has frequent tantrums, and they can get pretty distruptive. You know the incessant whinning, crying, foaming at the mouth kind. 
Dp and I differ on our opinions on how to deal with this. I will try to talk to her about it, and tell her that she is upsetting others with her behavior. If we are public when it happens, I will remove her from the situation and walk outside with her so she can cool down. But when we are at home, I am sometimes at a loss. Dp is really affected by her outbursts, and he really wants us to take a more proactive role. His idea is to explain to her that her behavior is not acceptable because it is affecting others and to tell her she needs to go upstairs to her room until she can calm down. Then when she comes back down we can talk about what happened calmly. I just don't feel comfortable with this. I feel like it is telling her that SHE is not welcome to be with us when she is having an outburst, I feel it is punishment. He does not see it that way, he feels that we are teaching her how to deal with her emotions because we are giving her the option of deciding when she can come down. I had the idea of first trying to let her get her anger out in a physical way, like jumping on a trampoline or bouncing a ball. He didn't agree with this because he feels that letting her go off by herself would let her think through things and figure things out on her own. I guess he thinks that by giving her other suggestions we could just be prolonging the tantrum and it would take longer to work? Her behavior is really affecting our family life and I am just at my witt's end!
Another issue is that we have a 16-month-old who is heavily into the tantrum age. I am worried that dd1 will see dd2 having tantrums freely and not being "punished" and feel wronged in some way. I feel that she would see it as an injustice. Dp feels that we would have to explain to dd1 about the differences in their ages and their ability to control their emotions. I just feel kind of wrong about this idea but I can't really put my finger on why. I am just so sick of going back and forth with dp with dp about this! I would greatly appreciate some imput from you wise mamas!
Dp and I differ on our opinions on how to deal with this. I will try to talk to her about it, and tell her that she is upsetting others with her behavior. If we are public when it happens, I will remove her from the situation and walk outside with her so she can cool down. But when we are at home, I am sometimes at a loss. Dp is really affected by her outbursts, and he really wants us to take a more proactive role. His idea is to explain to her that her behavior is not acceptable because it is affecting others and to tell her she needs to go upstairs to her room until she can calm down. Then when she comes back down we can talk about what happened calmly. I just don't feel comfortable with this. I feel like it is telling her that SHE is not welcome to be with us when she is having an outburst, I feel it is punishment. He does not see it that way, he feels that we are teaching her how to deal with her emotions because we are giving her the option of deciding when she can come down. I had the idea of first trying to let her get her anger out in a physical way, like jumping on a trampoline or bouncing a ball. He didn't agree with this because he feels that letting her go off by herself would let her think through things and figure things out on her own. I guess he thinks that by giving her other suggestions we could just be prolonging the tantrum and it would take longer to work? Her behavior is really affecting our family life and I am just at my witt's end!Another issue is that we have a 16-month-old who is heavily into the tantrum age. I am worried that dd1 will see dd2 having tantrums freely and not being "punished" and feel wronged in some way. I feel that she would see it as an injustice. Dp feels that we would have to explain to dd1 about the differences in their ages and their ability to control their emotions. I just feel kind of wrong about this idea but I can't really put my finger on why. I am just so sick of going back and forth with dp with dp about this! I would greatly appreciate some imput from you wise mamas!
