DH's co-worker's wife's pregnancy...

[quelindo]

My husband's co-worker and his wife are also expecting their first baby together at around the same time we are. DH and his friend often compare notes, and DH's been surprised at how differently things are for them than for us.

They've been having ultrasounds CONSTANTLY, because they thought the baby was too small -- but now the thinking is just that their actual due date is several weeks later than they thought. (They're giving birth at a teaching hospital, which I specifically avoided for that reason, BTW.)

The other day DH was telling his friend that we finished our birth plan and were trying to avoid as many interventions as possible. The guy asked, "What's an intervention?" He and his wife have already taken the childbirth classes at a hospital and completed and filed their birth plan.

And I guess the wife has been experiencing a tightening of her uterus and has been frantically trying to figure out what it is on the internet -- when my DH told the husband that they were Braxton-Hicks contractions, he had never heard of them.

This just makes me so sad. I wonder what's actually IN their birth plan?

[Guest*]

I know. It's so hard for me to understand why some people don't read up on things. For me, when I became pregnant, it was just common sense for me to read up on things and learn all I could. What I learned led me to decide on a homebirth. I have no problem with people reading up and coming to a different decision, but I just don't understand people who don't do anything to inform themselves.

It's people like your DH's co-worker that motivate me to talk about what I know about pregnancy and childbirth with everyone I know with hope that they will try to inform themselves.

[~Megan~]

I read a lot too but I still didn't know much. I wasn't as internet active as I am now.

I read 5 or 6 pregnancy books from the library and ones I bought from the book store but there weren't any that didn't tell me anything to doc didn't already say.

Now I notice my book store has Mothering's pregnancy book. Its so pretty and nice I'm sure I would have purchased it if it had been available then.

Most pregnancy books only say what the hospitals say, nothing more or less.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by jlpolzin

I know. It's so hard for me to understand why some people don't read up on things.

Because they simply don't know how much they don't know.

When I was pregnant with ds, I didn't have the internet (1993). I took childbirth classes and virtually memorized a provincial publication called "Baby's Best Chance". I didn't even know there were other books on childbirth at the library (I've since discovered that the selection isn't great, anyway). I thought I was well informed. But, I didn't even know our hospital would do a c-section for breech. I'd been told that c-sections were for emergencies, and I figured that an OB would know what an emergency was, whereas I wouldn't - first time mom and all. I didn't even know I was in labour for the first several hours.

When someone has taken the classes and drawn up a birth plan, they probably think they know what they need to know.

[Guest*]

Storm Bride and Mamao'to:

I guess the saying, "When you know better, you do better" applies to this topic. Actually, looking back, I know so much more now than I knew going into labor and can think of a few changes to make for the next baby because I know better now.

I guess it's just hard for me to understand people like the OP's Dh's co-worker. I would think that they would be curious enough about the body changes in pregnancy to seek some information about it and learn about Braxton-Hicks. Questioning is just part of my nature and I understand that people "don't know how much they don't know" so they don't research more, I just can't relate to it. kwim?

Anyway, that's why it's good to engage in conversations with people who do little or nothing to educate themselves. Then maybe they will question and figure out what they WANT to do and not necessarily do what their TOLD to do.

I actually have 2 success stories from just talking about being informed. One family chose to have a homebirth and the other is learning about what she needs to do to have a successful VBAC. Before that, they didn't know HB was an option and didn't know VBAC existed!

[Storm Bride]

I've really got to wonder what kind of classes the couple the OP was talking about took. I can't imagine a class not even describing Braxton-Hicks! Our class was actually pretty good, I think.

[Guest*]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I've really got to wonder what kind of classes the couple the OP was talking about took. I can't imagine a class not even describing Braxton-Hicks! Our class was actually pretty good, I think.

That's what I was thinking. Maybe they fell asleep during that part.

[quelindo]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I've really got to wonder what kind of classes the couple the OP was talking about took. I can't imagine a class not even describing Braxton-Hicks! Our class was actually pretty good, I think.

Yeah, I don't know. I know it was through a hospital.

[quelindo]

Originally Posted by jlpolzin

Questioning is just part of my nature and I understand that people "don't know how much they don't know" so they don't research more, I just can't relate to it. kwim?

That's how I am too. I mean, I didn't know anyone who had given birth naturally and had only one acquaintance who AP's. My mom and sisters and DH's sisters are all of the "childbirth is painful; get an epidural right away; just go along with what the doctor says" school of thought. So I had to do tons of research on my own.

[Storm Bride]

I'm not even sure that learning more has made a big difference to me, honestly. I knew what I wanted when I had ds, and I don't think I'd have realized that he'd turned breech, even if I'd done a lot of research. I wouldn't have agreed to my c-section for breech, but I didn't, anyway...so I doubt that would have turned out any differently...

Birth seems to be SO simple and SO complicated all at once. The more I learn, the less I feel like I know, and it's not making my decisions any easier to make. My decision to VBA2C is based on emotional reactions - my research has made it easier to get my OB on "my side", but that's about the only difference it's really made...