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Unassisted Home Birth Stories?

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
I am planning on having an UHB (unassisted home birth) with my next child and I am on a hunt for info. I have found some really beautiful sites on the subject - its amazing! I started this thread because I was hoping that there might be some mamas out there who would like to share their unassisted birth stories with me....it would be much appreciated and humbly read.
post #2 of 29
I'd had a really emotionally upsetting and physically difficult first birth at home with a midwife, then a really wonderful second birth at home with a different midwife. After the birth she told me, "you know what, you didn't need me there." And I knew she was right.

My third pregnancy was different than the other two because I felt so free, so happy, so in tune with the baby. It was a little like being in love. I also felt strong and confident -- having made the decision to give birth unassisted, I for the first time in pregnancy really felt right with the universe.

I also had the blessing of my midwife, and knew I could count on her for help if I should need it. I felt very supported. My husband took a bit longer to come around. But he did trust my instincts, and the more we talked about it the more comfortable he became with the idea. As I noted on another thread, reading Gregory White's Emergency Childbirth was a turning point for him.

So... I had two false starts, so intense that I felt little twinges of fear about having to go through that again for the entire birth, though I knew I could do it (having done it twice before.) But when the labor started for real, it was very mellow. I went through a night of mild contractions, then through the day. I was feeling that this birth should be filled with the spirit of the Goddess, LOL, I had had visions of my husband and I making love, ecstasy and all that. But when it came down to it, it was just life. Just like my life usually is, just sort of... there. You know? It was so NORMAL. So matter-of-fact.

Well, 24 hours later, into the second evening, the contractions finally starting coming close enough together that I felt like it was really happening. They started to be a bit painful, too, though no more painful than menstrual cramps. No big deal. I wandered around the house, listened to music, danced. It very slowly built in intensity until around midnight when I was really having to concentrate through the contractions. It was about then that I decided that it was time to get in the birth tub; that felt really good for a while.

Then my mother-in-law showed up. Stupidly, I had left a message on her answering machine early in the day, and she had just gotten home and come right over. Though I love her, I didn't really want ANYONE there, but I was at that point in labor when you just can't seem to express anything you're feeling. She sat on the couch and talked with me and my husband for a while, then when it became clear that the labor was really getting hard for me (I wonder how much her presence had to do with that) she retreated to another part of the house.

I was now moaning through contractions; interestingly, there was no more pain in my abdomen, it was only in my back. The baby was descending, but had not yet turned, and the back pain was quickly becoming unbearable. I groaned, wailed, shrieked, swore. I asked the baby to please come down, I told her I was ready. I went from sitting to kneeling to hand and knees to sitting again, all in one contraction. I couldn't get comfortable. I told my husband I didn't think I could do it any longer, and he said that this is just like it was before when it was almost over. I said, "no, the contractions are still too far apart." After another few contractions I abruptly decided that the tub wasn't where I needed to be, so I hopped out and kneeled on a thick foam pad in front of the recliner, draping my upper body over the seat.

I told my husband to go get some toilet paper because I was afraid I was going to poop. I was feeling really pushy. I couldn't feel her head, which I was not happy about, because I was in so much pain. Then I groaned and strained through one contraction, and suddenly I could feel her head, oh, and the feeling as she stretched my skin was so voluptuous, it was the most amazing wonderful thing. Like nothing I've ever felt. I was so full of her, so full of birth. Able to be totally inside the thing because there was no one observing me to make me self-conscious and take me away from it, just my husband who was totally swept up in it himself.

Then the second contraction, raging right through it, and her body slid out into my hands, onto the foam pad. I sat back, picked her up, and cradled her in my arms. 1:47 a.m. My husband saw her face, and seeing that she looked like her brothers said, "hello, little boy!" My MIL ran in, crying, laughing. I wasn't crying, like I thought I would. It was just so... NORMAL. And right. I turned over my red, alert baby and saw that she was a girl. And I wasn't at all surprised, even though I'd thought the whole pregnancy that she was a boy.

My MIL left the room again, and I got down to the business of birthing the placenta. I had thought that I would just relax and breastfeed until I felt the urge to push it out, but I wasn't very comfortable, so when the cord was cold we cut it, my husband took the baby, and I squatted over a bowl, twiddled my nipples, and waited. A few minutes later I gave a soft push and it slid out into my hands. Beautiful warm mass. I looked it over, looked intact, then sat back on the recliner on some towels, with my sweet precious perfect baby, both of us wrapped up in warm blankets, and my husband turned out the light, kissed me, and we went to sleep.
post #3 of 29

Freebirth story

we birthed our baby at home, by ourselves in May of this year. It was awesome though I must say the pregnancy/preparation for this was the most awesome and hard part.
We made love that night and I experienced some contractions but didn't think too much of it as it had happened the week before when we had sex. SO I went to sleep and then awoke w/mild contrax. I finally had to get out of bed at 5 am and was in early labor with my waters broken. I still was not convinced taht this would be quick but woke up my husband who started preparations....cleaning up for where our birth tub would be, etc. MY dd woke up at 7:30 and was a little fussy so I had to lay down w/her a while which proved a little tricky. HOwever, I did it and she was fine to watch TV while I labored. My hubbie and dd went to fill up the birth tub with air before bringing it in to fill w/water. I labored in teh bathroom trying to postpone this urge to get in the warm water. (I was hesitant cuz my waters had broken and the tub was dirty) Finally I had to and started doubting my abilities. My affirmations seemed weak and I started yelling for hubbie. They arrived and I was in transition though I thought it was too early so was discouraged w/ my feelings. My dd started crying at my emotiona nd I managed to try a feeble comfort like"momma is just pushing the baby out" I had a very moving moment w/ hubbie asking him to stay (he wanted to fill up the tub for me as we planned a waterbirth) He didn't think I was as far along as I was either. I then had a strong urge to push and felt the baby's head budding like a rose between my vaginal walls, that is the mental picture of what it felt like. he moved down and 2 contrax later, crowned. That too is a very sensory memory....I remember his oily, loose scalp, soo sensual under my palm. It was so empowering to guide this life on both ends, w/my body and hand from the outside. His head was out next contrax and hubbie checked for the cord. I was on hands and knees still in the tub. and hten he slipped out. I think it was around 5 contrax, total til he was out. amazing. hubbie carried baby as I walked to the bed, and looking at the clock it was 9 am.
When dd was born at home, assisted, there were angels singing, total high. W/ds, though, it was like a non-event. NO high, just like huh, here he is. I realize that w/ treating my preg. as a natural process, the birth was a simple next step. We didn't do prenatal s-care. (w/dd I was diagnosed w/group beta strep, high bp, boderline gest. diabetes., etc. so it was a fight w/fear some of the times....) and we lotus birthed ds which too was wonderful.
anyway, awesome, defintely one of the high points of my life!! good luck
post #4 of 29
Thread Starter 

Thank you...

Thank you so much for sharing such intimate moments with me...I am truly grateful!

I love how both of you have said that it felt so normal....so right....so natural. It is so comforting to know that there is such a beauty within each of us as women. We have truly been blessed!

I cherish your stories and beauties, thank you once more...
post #5 of 29
Raven, I had an unassisted child birth, not that it was planned that way, but my labor went so quickly, our midwife wasn't at our house yet. But, I feel that it was totally meant to be that way because I felt so good and right and knew everything was gonna be fine.
My contractions started late night, and I was sure they weren't the real thing, or if they were, that things wouldn't start happening till morning. I wanted a good night's sleep so I could be fresh to do this work!!! Well, less than an hour into it, I could tell this was the real deal. But I felt good. My husband was an awesome help physically and a friend who was with us was also helpful. But really, it came down to me, feeling on top of things. I felt like with each contraction, I could react in fear and stop things from flowing or I could breathe and relax into the flow, and that's what I chose to do! It helped that this was my 2nd labor; I kind of knew what to expect
Indigolilybear, I love your vision of your baby's head "budding like a rose through your vaginal walls". that's how it felt to me too. Nothing more awesome than reaching down and feeling your own child's head through your legs. I can still reach back and feel it! (she's 2 1/2 months now)
Anyway, I was in supported squat for most of my labor; at the last minute, I got onto all fours on our futon, and I too thought I was gonna poop, but it was my water bursting. Not a minute later than baby's head started coming through. My only "fear" (not even a fear, it was more of a thought) was "oh, I hope I'm 10 cm..."cuz we didn't check or anything. It just felt like it was time to do some pushing.
I have to say, I think I had a really easy, uncomplicated birth. She just spilled out of me onto the futon, no cord wrapped around her, she was good color, good size. The hardest thing was turning over onto my butt so I could lean back and hold her! The placenta came out okay too. My only problem was I got really cold and jittery about 15 minutes after everything. My midwife told me later that was probably because everything happened so fast. She gave me some ginger tea as soon as she showed up about 15 minutes after the birth.
Good luck and my only advise is to have faith in yourself. You can do this if you trust your body and keep your mind open. Blessings, Megan
post #6 of 29
Thread Starter 
Thanks! My labor also progresses pretty quickly. Maybe the next one will too. I am so touched by the amazing ability we have to bear and birth children! Truly awesome! Thanks for sharing your story with me!
post #7 of 29
I had an unplanned unassisted homebirth with my second.
we had been seeing a midwife my whole pregnancy and had planned for her to be there but she didn't make it in time.

She arrived 5 minutes after our dd was born. My dh was wonderful. He was nervous but he didn't let it show one bit. He saat at my side the whole time giving me aperineal message. When I felt the need to push, he said "OMG what are you doing? You can't push yet, the midwifes not here" But you gals know how it is, there's no stopping once you start to push.
Our dd was born at 5:36 am. The first hands to ever touch hers were her daddy's. He placed her on my belly and she looked right up into my eyes. It was such a powerful moment.

the midwife was there to catch the placenta! The moment she arrived, you could see my dh start shaking. He was so relieved and had been so nervous the whole time but remained strong. He finally felt able to let go. He broke down and started crying.

Now when we talk about our birth, he says he wouldn't have wanted it to happen any other way. He loves the fact that he was the first to ever touch our daughter. It is such a special bond they share.
post #8 of 29
A lot of men and women miss out on this, either because the birth attendant feels it's necessary for him/her to facilitate the emergence of the baby, or because the father or mother is a bit nervous and it is so much more comfortable just to let someone else take care of it. But it is such a powerful thing, it is really a shame when the birth attendant is the one to experience it rather than someone who will be bonding with the baby. The midwife (or doctor) takes on a central role in the drama, and to me this seems very inappropriate.

With my third birth, finally, there was no one to tell me the "right" way to give birth, no one else to touch my baby, no one to steal the birthing energy that was not rightfully theirs, no one whose presence interfered with the bonding process. (The mother bonds not only with the baby, but whoever is physically foremost in her consciousness.) I had a fantastic second birth with a midwife attending, I think I've mentioned, but I will never do it again unless there are special circumstances that warrant extra safety measures.

I wrote this in my birth story:

"There is no breech of intimacy during those last minutes as she is being born -- how can I convey the importance of this? The privacy has enabled my body to function the way it was meant to. But beyond that is something else, that something that is beyond the mechanical. I guess some people would call it spirituality or soul. I don't know what it is. But it's what you feel when you're making love, or totally involved in creating a work of art. It's being fully *inside* something. You can't do it when distracted or self-conscious... which, with no one but my lover here, I have no compulsion to be. I am inside birth. I can't get over it. I wish I could never get over it, that I could never forget. I would relive those last few moments a thousand times over if I could."
post #9 of 29
Thread Starter 
How powerful those words are! Giving birth is so intenese and so awe-inspiring....yet so very fragile! It takes so little for a birthing woman to feel threatened or disturbed.....

It is an intricate process that requires the safest of environments. Love. Peace. Serenuity. Stillness of heart. Warmth. It is sacred. Beautiful. Honest....oh so very honest.

Women are not sick when they are giving birth, so why the 'need' to treat them like patients? Why tell them how to give birth? Why place expectations upon them? Why restrain them from following their instincts?

Every single birth is unique in its own special way. Each one serving its own calling. Birth is not merely an entrance into the world....!! It is the very first physical experience of the babe! How profound then is the impact on that little soul! His very first touch within his motheres loving body... A birthing woman is, in my opinion, communing with a higher source of divine enery....her soul connected to Birth and to Life. An intricate balance...so pure so right!

Why then do doctors deem themselves worthy of dictating a woman's birthing experience?! How can they treat a woman as inferior? Because she is only a woman? Only a mother? Not a doctor? Do they not realise that their mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers and every other great woman in their line know more about birthing a baby that they EVER will? Do they not understand that bringing life into this world should be a humbling act of devotion and not an ego boosting, money making, production line affair? When will a brainwashed society see the truth and face up the powers of birth?

I am so relieved that there are women like you that are brave enough to swim upstream! Brave enough to embrace their instincts and follow their convictions! Peace be in your souls and in the eyes of your babes!
post #10 of 29

addicted here

I love reading beautiful UC birth stories, there are some lovely ones on this site, but this most recent one is a truly beautiful waterbirth with pictures,

check it out,

Love Renee

http://www.birthlove.com/pages/stories/christina.html
post #11 of 29
Renee, thanks for the link to the home/water birth story. I was so moved when I read it. Sooooo beautiful. Reminded me how much I loved my birthing!
post #12 of 29

Unassisted birth stories

I know a lady thru LLL, who knows a lady in England ( I think ) who has just started an alternative parenting mag. The lady I know, told her buddy how I had had an unassisted birth. Mine was accidental since it just doesn't seem to be done voluntarily in this country at all. Her buddy asked her to ask me to write up my birth story & says she'll publish it & give me a free subscription. I was overawed. Now I have writer's block. How do I do it ? What do I say ? How do I phrase it all so it's interesting to read & so on.

I wasn't familiar with unassisted birth at all before I came to the mothering boards. Does anyone know if there are any good web sites with birth stories I could look at to give me some ideas ? Anyone got any tips on how to write birth stories up ?
post #13 of 29
post #14 of 29
post #15 of 29
thanx heaps The birthlove one wanted me to be a paid member but the others are cool
post #16 of 29
Sorry about that! I was under the impression that a free trial membership was available. You should check it out if possible, it's honestly a great resource!
post #17 of 29

Unassisted homebirth stories

I have two children, bith born in the hospital. The first was an awful induction that, after too many interventions and three hours of pushing resulted in a 9 pound, 8 ounce baby being sucked via vacuum out to the world. Worst experience of my life. And to add insult to injury, he got an infection (septic), most likely FROM the hospital, and had to be treated with IV antibiotics fro 9 days!

My second birth experience went so much more smoothly! Even though my 9 pound, 9 ouncer was posterior and I never got the urge to push; I finally had to force myself to push. I pushed for 1.5 hours before he finally came out! I waited to go into labor and had a midwife whom I loved.

My sister just had a beatiful homebirth experience with a lay-midwife. I am good friends with the midwife and was able to assist her.

Okay, exposition aside, I would love to hear your stories of unassisted homebirths. I don't think I would ever be brave enough to have one, as I am a chicken! But for you strong, brave women who have intentionally or unintentionally had one, if you would bless us by sharing your story I would so be grateful!
post #18 of 29
I had a planned unassisted birth. The story is in this thread:

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...&threadid=3142

And FWIW, I didn't feel particularly brave, nor fearful either. It just felt right. Now, to give birth in a hospital, that would take some bravery from me.
post #19 of 29
Great story, sweetwater! I had an unplanned unassisted homebirth, but my husband and I realized afterward that this is the way it HAD to be...

My due date was on Saturday, which came and went with no signs of a baby. (Afterwards, my midwives and I couldn't decide exactly how we came up with our EDD - we knew I didn't ovulate when the charts said I "should have" therefore we had to abandon the standard chart...) The next day, Sunday, my almost 6 y/o son complained of severe stomach pains and was having difficulty breathing. My husband talked me into taking him to the doctor, who happened to have Sunday hours for emergencies. The doctor sent us to the hospital for a chest x-ray because even though he couldn't find anything wrong, the abdominal pain with difficulty breathing made him believe there was a possibility DS had pneumonia.

Alas, he was right. I spent the night w/ DS on one of those uncomfortable (even for a non-pregnant person) chairs which converts to a bed. My biggest fear was going into labor in the hospital! What if my husband couldn't make it in time to get me home? (Doesn't that sound funny - the total reverse of what one would normally hear!)

Anyway, the next night they moved another bed into the room, so I was much more comfortable! We went home on Tuesday, still no baby. Wednesday evening I began to have contractions. I had my son's dad (not my DH) pick him up. I felt bad about having to send him away, but we had already decided that I couldn't handle his being there and we didn't have a person available who could focus on him. Anyway, I should have known that my labor usually starts pretty slow and takes a long time to get going. The contractions were coming pretty regular, so I called in the "troops" (midwives and best friend.) They arrived at around 9 or 10.

Now let me just say that I had no pain meds during my son's hospital birth. Nurses would come in, look at the fetal monitor, look at me (I was calmly sitting in bed playing cards w/ my partner), and walk out shaking their heads. They couldn't believe I didn't have an epidural. One even went so far as to ask me, "Are you SURE you didn't have an epidural?" (Duh, I think I'd remember if I did!) So what I'm trying to say here is that I stayed calm even during intense contractions. Up until the point where the amniotic sac was ruptured, I didn't even categorize what I experienced as painful.

My second labor was very similar. DH, my friend and I were sitting in the living room talking and laughing. Midwife #2 (whom DH did not like at all and I felt somewhat uncomfortable with) came in the room sometime after midnight and said, in essense, "Let's get the show on the road here...are we going to have a birth tonight or are we going to sit around and have fun? No way you're in labor if you can laugh like that!" Her comment made me so furious, agitated, self-conscious, uncomfortable, etc. that my contractions came to a complete halt shortly afterward.

We all laid down to try to get some rest at about 1 am. I hardly slept. Midwife #1 checked me before she left the following morning, I was 6 cm dilated, fully effaced, etc. My friend stayed around and took me for a manicure/pedicure, hoping the stimulation to my feet would help bring on labor again. We had some lunch and then she left to go take care of her dog. At around 3:30 pm, DH and I laid down for a nap, as we hadn't rested much the night before.

I woke up at 5 pm with amniotic fluid bursting forth in abundance. I checked it, clear and pinkish. Called midwife #1. Told her I didn't have any contractions yet. Called her back at 20 past 5 (look what happens when I try to type that - 5:20) - contractions had started, about 5 min. apart. I didn't think she needed to come yet (I didn't want another false alarm...) Luckily she didn't listen to my "advise" and she got in her car right away. (I should have realized it wouldn't be long - it only took a little over an hour after the waters were broken during DS's birth...)

I was holding up pretty well until nearly 6 pm. Then I had the uncontrollable urge to go to the bathroom. I spent time alternating between sitting on the bowl and standing up, leaning on DH and moaning and making lots of noise (or so he tells me - I don't remember it that way...) Finally, during one of my "unproductive" stints on the toilet, with DH standing in front of me, he screamed, "OH MY GOD, PAULA, THE HEAD!!! GET UP!! GET UP RIGHT NOW!" Holy Mother of God, we were HAVING OUR BABY right there in the bathroom! I managed, w/ DH's help, to stand up, still straddling the toilet, pushed with the next contraction and out slid our precious baby, screaming from the first moment out of the womb! (It must have been pretty traumatic for this poor child...almost landing in the toilet and all!)

I sat back down, and then had to give DH directions as to what to do. He was very excited. I had him put the baby on my chest, then fetch some old towels from the changing table. (This should have been simple, but DH can be dense and I nearly had to get them myself!) We draped some towels over us and sighed. The baby was starting to calm down, not that I minded - hearing those cries from the get-go was a great relief for me - crying = breathing!

Then it occurred to us - hey, is this baby a boy or a girl? In all the excitement, this minor detail (which is the focus of nearly EVERYONE's attention during those long months of pregnancy) completely escaped us! Well, we decided to have a look...oh, we got our girl after all!

Soon after, midwife #1 arrived and helped to move me out of the bathroom, onto the birthing stool, where we put our darlin' to the breast. She latched on straightaway, like she knew exactly what to do. (So unlike my first breastfeeding experience, but that's a different birth story...) We waited at least half an hour for the cord to stop pulsing before we cut it, but even then I noticed that it seemed to bother our little princess. (If I do it again, I'll try for a Lotus Birth.) Midwife #1 gently took footprints and placed them on a special homebirth certificate. Then came the big question - "Have you decided on a name?" Oh, Lord. We hadn't been able to agree on or decide anything up to that point. I looked at John and asked, "Kelly Rose?" to which he replied, "Yeah, Kelly Rose!" I really think our daughter named herself. Kelly means warrior woman and, well, a rose is a rose is a rose...she came out fighting and (forgot to mention) bright pink, so the name seemed to fit.

Sorry this was so long, but I condensed it as much as I could. This is how we brought our daughter into the world!
post #20 of 29
What a fun thread! I laughed, I cried...

My first two were born in the hospital, and it was a relatively good birth as hospital births go. But boy did I have a lot to learn. Lying on your back is bad, purple pushing is bad, antibiotics give you a raging postpartum yeast infection if you don't take acidophilus... the list goes on!

Anyway, on to a more enlightened time. First, I will say that, like Paula_bear, we really meant to have a midwife. I had invited my mom to be here for the birth (she ended up extending her 2 week stay to a month since Alex- little stinker- was late by 2 weeks!). I had been having pretty good Braxton-Hicks contractions for awhile. Then one day we were in the pool and they started being pretty regular. I noted that, but didn't think much of it, and they slowed when I was out of the pool. At one thirty the next morning, I woke up feeling kind of crampy. I remembered that from last time and thought to myself "I just don't want to do this for 7 hours!" I shook dh and suggested we time some contractions. The poor sleepy man said, as I recall, "no offense, but the clock is right here. Wake me up if they get serious." So here's me waiting for the contractions to get regular, but they just keep getting closer together. Then stronger. So I sent dh to call the doula and the midwife who said she would take a shower and come on up. At this point, I'm wandering around the house, my mom knitting on the sofa. I'd stop and kneel with my chest on the couch. Then I felt like I had to have a bowl movement (duh). So I went into the bathroom and the contractions were coming so quickly I couldn't leave the toilet. Fortunately, dh came to check on me, right after the amniotic fluid exploded forcefully with a contraction into the toilet (he teases me about breaking the seat). It was an amazing contraction, and terrifying, because I couldn't relax. It was beyond anything I could control. I said, "I can't relax!" and dh started drawing a bath for me. By then the next contraction hit and I felt Alex's head start to descend. I said "The baby's coming out!" and dh (he gets such great quotes in this story) said, "of course, honey, that's what this is all about," not understanding that I meant NOW! I briefly explained that to him. He called the midwife back and she, having just stepped out of the shower, dressed quickly and came screaming up the road. She passed the doula, who had no idea what kind of maniac was going 80 at 3 am! Meanwhile, she's coaching dh over her cell phone, telling him what to expect and how to ease the shoulders out. I'm on the bathroom floor, with my wonderful mother sitting as my support against the wall, while I birthed our beautiful son into his father's hands. Or as my husband said, he "just kept Alex from hitting the floor too hard." He was still holding the phone, after all. While I held Alex, the placenta slipped out (I asked dh "was that a placenta?"). The midwife did arrive (of course we still paid her-- people always ask), and took over from there, followed closely by the bewildered doula. My other two boys greeted their new baby sleepily and with a bit of confusion. It was so wonderful to climb into my own bed with my new boy snuggled up in the same place as always (except on the *outside* now). Although I've tried to explain it to people, I can't: looking at Alex, my first view of him after 9 months of growing him in my body, it was as if I always knew his face. He was not unfamiliar. And ever since, I just feel that I want to consume him, to eat him, breathe him in and keep him inside me forever. I am in love.
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