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healing birth trauma - Page 2  

post #21 of 35
11/28/02 at 11:20pm
Luma - wondeful realizations.
post #22 of 35
11/29/02 at 1:30am
Hello all. I have just experienced birth trauma vicariously all over again with a dear friend today. She dreamed of a waterbirth after a disappointing and traumatic first birth and then subsequent miscarriage. Today, after 36 hours of non-productive labor after her water broke, she had a c-section. Then she had a hemorrhage, nearly a hysterectomy or worse. They are deciding now whether to give her a transfusion. Thankfully, the baby is healthy and well at 6lbs, 7oz. A healthy boy even at barely 35 weeks. But my heart is aching for her. Please remember this sister in your thoughts and prayers, as well as those of us who try to be there for her in the loss of her dreams.

At some point I hope to share with her the wonderful thoughts everyone has contributed here.

Jamie
post #23 of 35
11/29/02 at 2:24am

Book recomendation

Hi,

I read Reclaiming The Sprituality of Birth by Benig Mauger. She's a therapist who uses hypnosis to regress to help recall birth experiences. A lot of traumatic birth experiences have a major effect on the future lives of babies. While an emergency intervention shouldn't be avoided to allay a non-natural birth the use of standard interventions and tramatic experiences before birth can have an effect on our further well being.

I highly recommend this book.

After my m/c a friend of mine relived her birth experience. She's hep-c positive and was worried she would transfer it to her baby. I'm sure the stress she was feeling caused her to prolong her labor. For 36 hours she begged for an intervention to help her baby out of her fearing that exposure to hep-c was worse than any interventions, and the staff told her it was very unlikely and let her continue to birth normally with no intervention. While this sounds contrary to most hospital stories and perhaps like the staff may have been doing her a favor, she was so stresed that she wasn't able to enjoy her birth at all and just felt tormented and belittled by the staff. Perhaps they were afraid to expose themselves to hep-c. grumble.
post #24 of 35
11/29/02 at 11:50am
(((Luma)))--how wonderful that you had that rebirthing experience, and that you're coming to a new stage in the healing process. You're right where you need to be!

I mentioned this on another thread--one of the biggest gifts I took away from the disappointments of my birth experience were an increased sense of self-acceptance and self-honoring. I truly feel this brought me to a new level of spiritual maturity that I couldn't have had before. I've come to learn that what my mind might identify as being painful, sad experiences are to a large extent illusions, and more often than not they house the very things I needed the most. (I'm just sharing my experience here .)

Thinking of you!
post #25 of 35
11/30/02 at 1:35am
Thread Starter 
pioneermama
Jamie, Im so sorry for your friend, give her a big hug and tell her we are right here if she wants to "talk"
MysticHealerMom, thanks so much for the book, I will look it up, as well as the ones Momtwice recomended. That is strange behaviour from a hospital staff alright... I mean what isnt?
ladylee
"I've come to learn that what my mind might identify as being painful, sad experiences are to a large extent illusions, and more often than not they house the very things I needed the most"

Its so different to look at things this way isnt it? Im gonna make me a spiritual t-shirt with those words written on to always remember
post #26 of 35
11/30/02 at 3:32pm
Jamie, so sorry to hear about your friend. Oh, how she must be feeling right now! Dear woman. She's in my thoughts and I'm sending her love as I think of her.

I like the t-shirt idea Luma - whenever you want to remain in that awareness, slip on some truth and there you go! I like it.
post #27 of 35
11/30/02 at 7:16pm
Thread Starter 
I've been thinking about something, that since ds's birth my tolerance towards violence on tv, books, and IRL really went down. I was able to watch stuff that I cant stand now. I dont say is ok to be immune to violence but in my case I think that I was avoiding to be confronted with violence because I had been through so much of it in ds's birth. Like I wasnt ready to bring it up or feel it inside me, my own violent experience, by watching any violent or extremely sad scene...
Im not sure about all this yet, just wanted to share to see if any of you feel the same.
post #28 of 35
12/1/02 at 3:19am
ladylee, pioneermama, luma.... Hugs to all of you!

What is a rebirth bath?

I think I had an "aha" moment as I was reading your thoughts....Maybe the pain houses the treasures because it expands our hearts. I think as humans our spirits naturally want to heal and find equilibrium so we struggle and struggle and wrestle and pull and tug and then.....our hearts grow and we learn how to focus in order to find joy and self-acceptance in the midst of the, well, crap, which in turn is a gift to our souls that keeps giving back. We learn to not be dependent on the circumstances to give us joy, but instead learn to experience it in the here and now, whatever is happening around us. So the things that used to be big deals become miniscule in the largesse (sp?) of our hearts. The result is much more serenity in the everyday.
post #29 of 35
12/3/02 at 12:11am
Luma, I don't think this is exactly what you were speaking of, but I absolutely cannot stand to hear of harm coming to a child. I never tolerated much violence before my daughter was born (wouldn't watch violence on tv etc.), but now, I can't hear of it in any way otherwise it plagues me throughout the day. I don't feel that this relates to the birth experience, but I do think it relates to becoming a mother. Just my thoughts.
post #30 of 35
12/3/02 at 3:18am
Thread Starter 
Mamajamz, yes! the pain expands our hearts... its so true and is keeping us here making something beautiful out of it... dont you think so?
the rebirth bath the LC gave us was a long very peaceful bath in an almost dark bath, in very warm water and she brought a great tape that i got to keep (and later played to ds every night and he would drift into sleep soooo peacefully)with womb sounds and soft angelic music behind. The idea is to recreate the womb, and give ds a way to relax and "be born again". She also gave him and us a massage, (mine was amazing btw) The bath lasted 3 hours and he slept the 2 first hours on my belly and then woke up climbed up my belly and with a little help from us and after I told him about the sweet milk made specially for him and for him only, he started to nurse and the constant frown he had had in his forehead all that 1st week of his life, even in his sleep, dissapeared. We slept really close and together that night and since then he has nursed like a champ! The LC said the rebirth bath is good at ANY age, and that it was great we could do it that soon.

pioneermama, I knew it was going to be a bit difficult to explain, and I agree its related to becoming a mother, like if I've had a "dream-birth", I would still feel this excacerbated sensitivity towards violence, but I think that in my case, I lost all tolerance,and the pain for any sad story or violent story, at moments would really affect me and scare me and I couldnt face it. I remember that sad films used to be a release in a way because I could cry through them you know? Like cathartic, but I realized that lately I have been running away from lots of these kind of cathartic experiences... I dont knwo if this is any clearer than the other post... is like I was claming mysef up... still i choose more wisely now than before ds but maybe i was missing somethings that could also help.... does this make any sense? btw I like your name very much pioneermama
post #31 of 35
12/3/02 at 3:10pm
MamaJamz, - This "We learn to not be dependent on the circumstances to give us joy, but instead learn to experience it in the here and now, whatever is happening around us" is priceless. So well said. Thank you. How is your friend?

Luma (and I like your name too) the rebirth bath sounded marvelous - so warm, loving and healing. What a wonderful experience for you and your son. Lovely.

After explaing further, I think that I'm getting what you are saying about emotional release and realizing that you've been avoiding it and thus avoiding the carthartic experience. It's sort of the ebb and flow of healing, and I suppose, life in general I would think. I think that I am also getting what you were saying about seeing the violence and being scared and not being able to face it. It's vulnerability isn't it? Being a mother has brought out a vulnerability in me and a recognition of vulnerability in others that sometimes scares me in its beauty.
post #32 of 35
12/5/02 at 11:18pm
Just an update on my friend. She had to have 4 blood transfusions. (!) I haven't talked to her for reasons of giving her space. Knowing her and how she processes things is why I have opted to send a card with loving thoughts for now, and of course a gift for this beautiful baby boy!!

Jamie
post #33 of 35
12/6/02 at 4:16am
Thread Starter 
So sorry to hear that Jamie, to your friend
Glad the baby is ok, you are so good to let her have her space and time... s

pioneermama, yes I see what you say about the vulnerability, and I have been thinking about that. I do feel vulnerable and extremely sensitive, and at times that has made me want to retire from the world... Only now Im feeling that is wonderful to be in the world and to feel all that I can feel, experience my self even if its painful.....
Someone here at mdc had a bautiful Anais Nin quote in their signature, these last days it has resonated so much in me:
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"
Its like that!
post #34 of 35
12/6/02 at 2:55pm
Luma, Pioneermama, Earthwind, and others:

Hi! I'd like to start a new thread in the Personal Growth category about birthing and the soul. Besides being on a personal quest, I am writing a paper for my CBE certification about the interaction between the soul, body, mind, everything in childbirth. I would LOVE to hear any thoughts, feelings, experiences, or just ramblings you have about this.

I'll add my thoughts later--my daughter is calling! For now, I'll just start the thread.

Jamie
post #35 of 35
12/7/02 at 8:56pm
sounds marvelous Jamie! That would be a wonderful discussion I think. I'll write more about my thoughts on it when I've got some time - right now I'm getting my daughter some supper!
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