BFing in front of Dad, FIL

[Shanana]

So this is my first baby, and I'm planning on bfing, and I know I won't really know how "modest" I am about it until I'm actually doing it. But sitting here trying to imagine it, I feel like I'll feel weird doing it in front of my Dad or FIL. I don't think I'll have any problems doing it in front of strangers, friends, etc. But it just seems strange to do it in front of those two.

I know once you get "good" at it, you can do it very discreetly, so maybe it will end up being a non-issue. And/or you can use a shawl (although you still need to get them latched on first). But I'm curious to know if anyone else feels this way, or thought they would and then didn't? Or any other thoughts ...

TIA
Shana
EDD 7/29/05

[mnnice]

It may seem weird now, but I doubt it will bother you at all unless one of them already creeps you out..JMO

[mmgarda]

My attitude

was that if it bothered anyone, that was their problem and they needed to go away, not me. I found nursing with a shawl or blanket near impossible, so I just whipped it out whenever I needed to! Fortunately, Dad had already witnessed it with his 2nd wife and my older sis, so he was fine. I thought FIL (conservative, Catholic, Long Islander) might be really squeamish, but he was great.

If *you're* uncomfortable, though, I'd suggest retiring to another room. I think that sometimes the stress of trying to figure out nursing can make it a challenge. Who needs onlookers for that? If you find yourself overly concerned about how it makes others feel, you might just be comfortable away from them until you're a pro.

[NordicMamma]

I think it's a case of just doing it. You'll soon get used to it, and so will they.

[soccerchic21]

My family and extended family has been pretty BF friendly. I did use a blanket with DD in the first 7 months or so just because that is what my mom told me to do and she was the only person I knew that nursed. Well DD got sick of the blanket at about 7 months and I don't blame her. So we started practicing NIP. I would go out with more experienced friends. One of my friends had a toddler which was great she told me not to worry that everyone would be staring at her and not me.

I also practiced in front of a mirror which was VERY helpful.

[broodymama]

Not due in July, but had a similar experience. My dad first visited us when DS was about a week old, so I was still new and clumsy at breastfeeding. When it came time to feed DS, though, I didn't even think twice about it. I was sitting on the couch and when I started nursing my dad suddenly remembered something he had to do in the kitchen. DS is 10 months now and my dad will finally stay in the same area when DS nurses. It just took a little while for my dad to get used to it, probably because none of our friends or family ever breastfed.

Good luck!

[IAmAMamaToLogan]

My FIL had already had 2 nursing grandsons by the time our first came along so I wasn't the least bit uncomfortable nursing in front of him. I was worried about how I would be with my dad though.

The day we got out of the hospital was the day my parents drove out to visit. I was still VERY clumsy at nursing and couldn't get the cradle hold down. My dad was sitting next to me when Logan got hungry and I nursed him in the football hold....probably the least discreet nursing position possible..and Dad didn't even flinch.

[fire_in_july]

When I was nursing DD, I almost exclusively wore loose unbuttoned button-down shirts over loose tank tops.

When it was time to nurse, boob got pulled out of the top of the loose tank top, and the side of the loose, unbuttoned button-down shirt could be simultaneously pulled out a bit to act as the perfect "shield" to those sitting off to my side. Only those directly in front of me would have been able to see anything. I hope that description made sense.

So if I was around anyone who might be uncomfortable with seeing my nipples, or who *I* might be uncomfortable with the same thing, I just made sure that they were sitting to my side and not in front of me. And then they couldn't see ANYTHING except maybe the curve of the top of my breast (no more than would have been visible in your standard bathing suit or low-cut shirt).

That took care of any discomfort with seeing nipples. Any discomfort with the feeding process in general was ignored by me, as DD needed to eat!

[jerawo]

Visiting from June 05 since I just went through this. At first I didn't because we weren't so good at BF and I was still a little modest. I was also mostly feeding at home in my bedroom, so I wasn't necessarily around my dad or FIL even if they were at my house. Once I got better and could latch DS on without much trouble and I found myself at my parents, ILs, or out somewhere with them, I did nurse in front of them. I was a little uncomfortable, but I figured I just needed to get over it. I also felt the same way when I first NIP; I was worried but DS was hungry and I just needed to do what I had to do. If my FIL (or whomever) doesn't want to see my boob, then he can turn away.

[Max's Mami]

I was always a little self concious of nursing in public or even in front of friends and family. I love my dad to death but just didnt want to nurse in front of him.

I pretty much only did in front of female friends and relatives. But I also never minded going into another room - sort of a good excuse to escape company sometimes :LOL

I guess if I had not wanted to go in another room I would have just gotten over it and nursed in front of anyone - but obviously it didnt bother me too much, Max was 2 years old when he weaned! :LOL

Oh and just wanted to add - it was never any neg. stuff from others that made me feel that way - just my own hang up. My family is super supportive of bfing. My mom nursed me til 18 months.

[Shanana]

Thanks for the feedback, all. I don't think my Dad will be squeamish about it. Not too sure about FIL -- and if he has a problem, he can make himself scarce as far as I'm concerned. I know my MIL breastfed, so it's not like he hasn't seen it before. But then again, I'm not his wife :LOL . He is European though ...

I'm more curious to see what kind of hangups *I* have :LOL . I don't consider myself to be particularly modest, and as I said, don't think I'll have a problem whipping out the boob in front of strangers/friends, etc. I'm not sure why I feel like it may be an issue with these two. I hope that once I become more practiced and can do it somewhat gracefully, I'll find that I don't mind doing it around them . OTOH, like a pp said, it will probably sometimes be nice to use it as an excuse to "retire" to a different room if I want a break :LOL .

I've also been checking out nursing tanks (at Target for $17, and nicer ones online for ~$40), which seem like they provide a little more coverage. I'll probably pick a couple of those up.

I can't believe it's almost that time!!!

Shana
EDD 7/29/05

[Max's Mami]

Oh another thing I forgot to mention is that I never had trouble bfing in public around totall strangers. I was always pretty modest about it and covered up pretty well. For some reason doing it in front of people I knew was harder than people I didnt know and would never see again - like at the mall :LOL Or the Phoenix Open golf tournament on the 17th green! :LOL

About nursing tanks - I am getting 2 Glamour Mom tanks from www.granolathreads.com - one that says "I make milk, whats your superpower" and one that says "Dairy Fairy".

I have a ton of stuff from there and Keri does great embroidery work!

[orangebird]

I'm just thinking back LOL wondering if I horrified my dad and FIL when I had my first baby. It didn't occur to me to take other people's feelings into account and was pretty much topless nursing all the time around both of their houses. Even manually pumping right on the living room couch in the middle of the house. Oh, man. I so wonder how that made them feel, they never said anything, but looking back now I wonder. With my second baby it wasn't an issue since we lived far away from family.

You'll see how you feel. It is really easy to be discreet without a whole lot of fuss. Do it in front of the mirror a few times.

And you can definitely use it as an excuse to retreat from the family and go chill in your room. I loved that about breastfeeding. Even though I never care who sees me it is nice to have a reason to just get away, lay down with the baby and just relax and take in all that beautiful new baby hormone vibe.