If you were a mainstream mama.... - Page 2

[onlyboys]

I think that going over true informed consent, and what that means is very, very important. They need to know that EVERY procedure "done" to them needs their consent. Even if it's protocol, like an IV. Also, you might want to mention best odds for getting breastfeeding started off on the right, uhh, breast.

[gentlebirthmothr]

Originally Posted by mom2threenurslings

I would try to get across the fact that our bodies know how to birth babies and that in most cases, no interventions are needed if mama is allowed to listen to and follow her body.

Things I would have found helpful the first time around include:
- a printout with the warning labels from pitocin, cytotec, nubain, epidural drugs, etc. so that I would have been educated about the possible side effects (including uterine rupture, etc.)
- info on doulas
- info on changing positions during labor and birth
- info on the benefits of water during labor and birth and of being upright during labor and birth
- knowledge that I could refuse procedures and that the decisions were truly up to me (not nurses or my OB)
- reminder that it's MY BODY, MY BIRTH, MY BABY
- info on circumcision
- info on routine labor procedures, what they're for, what they can lead to
- info on routine newborn procedures and whether or not they're necessary
- the safety of homebirth, birth center birth, hospital birth
- info on normal, natural labor - including the natural labor plateau, which is commonly diagnosed as "failure to progress"
- info on PROM and possible complications
- info on induction and possible complications

mom2threenurslings,

Totally agree with you on this. Will do all of that for my 1st hospital birth.

Thank you.

[massagemom]

i second the "resource list" of books they can read for more info, and also the handout on circumcision being optional. i don't think most mainstream moms know that it's not required. did anyone mention breastfeeding support info? i only scanned the responses, as my son is due to wake up any minute. :LOL

that mama group is lucky to have you as a speaker! good luck, you never know how your information might influence someone.

[BensMom]

The main things I touch upon at my first meetings with clients is:

1. Informed Consent/Refusal. I give them a list of questions to ask for all procedures that are recommended, from vaginal exams in late pregnany to an emergency Csection. No matter what, you need to ask the questions and be informed about why this is happening. And also letting then know that they can say No. For things like IV, I have had clients not even know that they could refuse.

2. Stay out of the bed! Any intervention that is going to keep you confined to the bed will make labor more difficult. This starts with induction and ends with epidural and includes everything in between.

But then again, I am already talking to people who want some element of NCB since they are interviewing a doula.

[maxwill129]

These are great ideas! I was totally mainstream with both of my DC's births.

Okay, I agree that I think you need to address fears first. That was my biggest problem with my first DC. I was so scared. Because I was scared and misinformed/not informed I thought the dr's and nurses knew best.

If this is a bunch of mainstream mamas, do you think that instead of spending a lot of time on different birthing places (i.e. home, hospital, etc.) you could focus more on the fact that they have more power than they think? I think if someone would have told me before my first birth that I could birth at home I would have laughed at them. I think it's great to mention it, but it seems most mainstream moms are going to choose the hospital birth anyway so maybe get them to see that they don't have to listen to everything the dr's say. That's just my opinion.

I really like that someone said to talk about different birthing positions. I was flat on my back with my DS. It sucked. Oh, and maybe mention how they need to work with their bodies and trust their bodies. I wanted so bad to squat, but didn't know if I could do that.

Keep telling them they have tons of power in a hospital birth. Even though my second DC was born in a hospital, I refused IV's, didn't listen to the nurses when they wanted me to be in bed (my body was telling me to walk and I labored very quickly), I didn't let them check me constantly (it wasn't until I said I had to push that they ended up checking me, and duh, I was dilated to 10)...

Sorry, my kid has a nasty diaper. Gotta go.

[amyjeans]

Talk about a birth plan- and their rights as a patient. Also remind them that they will be considered a "patient" when in the hospital.
Hopefully, that will open their eyes. Also, give them the definition of an obstetrician...SURGEON.
(It seems so hard not to stand on my soapbox and bash OBs!)
Do you have any homebirth meetings around that they could attend to hear more about this alternative? Some birth stories?
Perhaps remind them that not all births happen like on TV (Baby Story, etc)
I learned that my birth doesn't have to be like my sister's, or my mother's. It's an individual thing and an unpredictable one at that. Trust is the most powerful thing to have, and being surrounded by people who will respect the trust you have in yourself is very important...regardless of the location.
good luck
all my best

[hopefulfaith]

Wow, what great suggestions. My .02: maybe with a list of books, you could provide a book or two with your "basket 'o goodies" - something by Dr. Sears, etc., and I just read a really good one re: bf -- "The Breastfeeding Cafe", by Barbara Behrmann -- I read it in two sittings, and it's so much less intimidating and 1st time mom-friendly than the LLL bible!

I'm so glad you're doing this for her! Coming from a very mainstream family and group of friends, doing all of this research myself with minimal support is difficult sometimes. You are awesome!

[G&B'sMama]

Maybe some information on staying home for early labor. It is always a shock to me that people think that labor is supposed to happen so quickly- and they run off to the hospital at the first contraction. When I took a Bradley Series before DD was born the instructor said the average labor was something like 16 hours. Not that either one of mine were like that (32 hours and 2 hours)- but giving women the idea that there is a fair amount of waiting in many early labors and it is a lot easier to do it at home when you are not on the c-section clock- might be helpful.

[Bleu]

1. Natural birth does not mean just no pain relief. It means no interventions. Your body is designed to handle natural birth with no meds, but not crazy hyper ctx from off-label drugs! We MDCizens know this, but the general public thinks regular hospital birth, sans pain relief = natural. Explain this "language gap" clearly and simply, because a mainstream mom/mom-to-be and a natural childbirth activist will have two different sets of assumptions. IMO you need to be really explicit, really fast to reach them before they glaze over.

2. I think mainstream moms would be most interested in pain management, and that you could get very far by framing a lot of the information (already mentioned by other posters -- good stuff!) in the light of the increased pain and difficulty in getting the baby out that most hospital interventions cause. IOW, absent these common interventions, there is less pain to manage.

3. I was reading casually about natural childbirth for years before I had a big "aha." I was attracted to the idea of birth as a peak life experience, spiritual, etc. but I was sure I would want the safety and pain-relief of a hopsital birth. I thought that natural birth supporters were just offbeat zealots, and why take the chance for a slightly more pleasant birth experience. I basically thought having people around you who you liked and trusted, the low lights, the pools, aromatherapy, music, etc. were just fluff. Finally I realized I don't even like pooping in a public restroom and sometimes have um, performance anxiety. How easy would it be to squeeze out an 8-pound person while a bunch of strangers are staring at your crotch? That's when I finally started to get that a natural birth environment makes a serious impact on your ability to birth successfully.

4. Henci Goer-esque information about the risks of common interventions. Save this for last, though, or they will think you are fear-mongering.

[hazelmama]

With inductions seeming so common in the mainstream world, you might want to include some info on the FDA alert against the use of cytotec, that it's also called misoprostol, and how it's administered. I've heard of women who didn't realize they had cytotec used on them because all they were told was that they were getting a little tablet put on their cervix to get things going or where told the generic name and didn't realize it was the same thing as cytotec.

This kind of scenario also points out the importance of getting comfortable asking lots of specific questions and continuing to ask questions until you get specific answers. I think, especially in a hospital setting which can be very intimidating and can make it hard to ask a question in the first place, that often people are in the habit of being satisfied when they get any kind of pleasant response to their questions even though those responses don't really tell them anything. (e.g. What is that medicine you are giving me? Oh, it’s just something to make you more comfortable, it's standard. Oh, ok.)

[2+twins]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is ALL such wonderful stuff!!! It helps me so much - keep it coming!!!

Amyjeans - I loved what you wrote: "I learned that my birth doesn't have to be like my sister's, or my mother's. It's an individual thing and an unpredictable one at that. Trust is the most powerful thing to have, and being surrounded by people who will respect the trust you have in yourself is very important...regardless of the location."

I wouldn't mind borrowing that from you for my speech.

Thanks again so much!

[EmmalinesMom]

nak

thought of one more thing that was probably already mentioned, lol

a list of phone numbers for support in breastfeeding, doulas, free resources, etc

[wannabe]

I agree with PP who said they'd want info about the cascade of interventions, and parts of the cascade they can avoid.

How many birth stories start with inducing by AROM? (Still, at least you know then what time the baby will be born. By c-section. )

My mainstream birthing class told NONE of the risks of interventions, just the standard direct risks, but not things like an epidural gives a fever, continuous EFM gives scary readouts, etc. I sat there in astonishment the whole time.

I can't remember if anyone mentioned it - but how about stressing that you can't always get an epidural the moment it starts hurting, and sometimes they don't work properly, so non-drug pain management is really useful to know!

[Mrs Dimples]

I was talking to my little sister about why I was choosing to have a homebirth (or at the very least, why I would choose to decline most "normal" hospital procedures/protocols if I did end up in a hospital for some reason) and a few things I said seemed to resonate with her:

1. Tell them WHY laboring/pushing on your back holding your breath is such a bad idea. pelvic opening = small, muscles = tense. You can't argue with basic human anatomy. Explain that THIS is what makes babies "too big" to birth - poor positioning, basically. This is so simple, but if OBs don't seem to know it, you can bet most average moms don't know it.

2. Definitely explain the "cascade of interventions". People don't realize the package deal they are getting, LOL.

3. Explain the mental and phychological aspects of labor. The way I explained it to my sister is this: ask them if they are familiar with the "placebo effect". They will be, and it's basically this: studies have shown that in the majority of cases, people who are actually given a medication to trat a problem and people who are TOLD they ave been given that medication heal equally well. It is essentially the power of the human mind over the human body, that feeling of CONFIDENCE and surety that things will be ok. Labor is very similar - if you don't know what's going on and are surrounded by "professionals" who are sure disaster is going to strike any moment, etc, well, guess what's probably gonna happen. Since most of these women will probably feel more "comfortable" in a hospital (at least for the near future, maybe some of them will come around eventually - that's what happened to me) I would focus on empowering them within their chosen setting.

4. I read something in Henci Goer's book that hit home with me too: births in the medical model are pressured to conform to the "average" birth, which basically doesn't exist. Rather than embracing the range of NORMAL, OBs etc focus on the AVERAGE, which is usually very different. Like for due dates, length of labor, that kind of thing.

Well, that's the major points for now. Hope that helps, and good luck! This is an important undertaking, but it won't be easy.

[massagemom]

another thing i learned during my hospital birth (that turned medical even though i had prepared for natural birth): getting a narcotic, like stadol, does NOT get rid of contraction pain. plus, you are hooked up to an IV and are therefore stuck in one position, in the hospital bed.

i had the impression that the stadol would just give me a chance to rest (i had been in labor for 24 hours with an OP baby, after having no sleep from the night before b/c i went into labor at 2 a.m., and had not progressed in 6 hours) and would help with the contraction pain for a short period, but all it did was make me feel drugged and tired and MAD.

i wish i had known that before, b/c i might have been more willing to hold off on the stadol.