I would never come out and tell this in a public forum but I'm so sad to hear you feel you've lost any remaining threads that hold you to your church. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.
I, too, was molested as a child. It happened once, but the impact will never leave me, especially since it was at the hands of a close relative.
I would find myself wondering how this man could go to church every Sunday and accept the eucharist when he's never asked ME for forgiveness KWIM?
With my parents by my side I was able to confront him many, many years later but I did not get what I was hoping for...him to admit it. Part of me didn't *expect* him to admit it, but it was what I felt *I* needed.
Through prayer I have since realized I need to feel more sorry for him than for myself. Whatever possesses a person to do such a thing is a much more horrible place to be. Don't get me wrong, as I said before this will never leave me. But...I have more pity then I do anger.
We cannot judge another's relationship with God - don't take that burden on. Leave that to the Father. If you allow this man to determine whether or not you have a meaningful relationship with God you're giving him a lot of power over your life and your happiness.
I recently miscarried at 12 weeks. In my deep sorry I received a letter from a dear friend's aunt who is a nun. In the letter she told me to bring my sorry to the cross as Jesus does not want us to carry our burdens alone. Out of everything my family and friends told me, that touched me the most so I'm sharing it with you in hopes you will find comfort as well.
Remember, God's teachings are the truth but we humans are delivering the message and we will make mistakes. If no one in the parish knows of this man's horrible act, how else could he be treated? He will have to make amends - sometime, somewhere.
Peace be with you as you go through this journey.
(I am in no way saying that what I have felt or done should be done by you - I'm just sharing my views and experience).