were you promiscuous as a teen? - Page 2

[eightyferrettoes]

I did a LOT of fooling around before I left home, everything short of actual BDing, you know? It was fun, and probably more satisfying than the "real thing." Whatever that is supposed to mean.

Then I left home at 17, and shortly afterwards got involved with a whole string of guys... some were great, others weren't worth scraping my shoe on, but all of them taught me something important about myself and what I REALLY wanted in my life.

I wouldn't trade that experience for a virginal wedding. :LOL

Got married right after my 20th birthday, but I really wasn't ready, and neither was the guy. We were married less than a year.

Married again just before I turned 22, and am still married to him. I had known my husband as a teen, but nothing ever happened between us till I was older.

I don't regret any of it.

edited to add: I wouldn't be upset if my kid or future kids were sexually active as teens. Seems like with puberty hitting at freaking 10 or 11 years old, there's really no evading it forever. I just want them to know that they don't HAVE to have it to be accepted, loved, whatever. I want it to be a free choice.

[member]

I had several girlfriends and then my now DH and I got together in late 1997 when I was 19.

The only thing I regret is not being able to be open about me relationship with my first girlfriend b/c we were in high school and v fearful of repurcussions.

[sunshinegal]

I started at 14 thinking that if you can have sex then you should. I looked at it as just what you do when someone paid attention to you or was attracted to you. I guess you could put me in that group of trying to get what you need from your home.
My parents NEVER even mentioned it. Now for my dc, we have already had discussions (just watch the nature channel ) I know they don't have that driving need for approval like I did. I am hoping that they will wait, but I won't freak if they don't. As long as they can at least talk to me about it. If only I had someone to talk to about it back then.
I do regret the way things went for me, but they had to go that way or else I wouldn't be where I am today, which is very happy.

[Arduinna]

I think there is a general assumption with many parenting issues that if you the parent had an issue with something then your child will too. And as a result we tend to parent in the way we wish our parents had. Which works well for some things like if you were hit as a child, clearly it's a good thing to not do as was done to you. But it doesn't apply to all parts of our lives. Since our kids are individuals. What we wanted, may not be what they need. So I think it's a mistake to assume that ones child will feel the same as their parents on issues.

[Coffee Mom]

Good Poll

Well i was sexually active but was only with two partners from 13 - 20, so I dont think I was promiscuous until i was older. And no I dont regret being active during my teen years at all, both were wonderful relationships. I do regret a few things after I hit my 20s but can't dwell on the past

[HerthElde]

Definitely promiscuous, no regrets whatsoever. No analysis of why (okay, I had a strong sexual appetite if I need a reason), great homelife, great friends, I just enjoyed myself

[LoveChild421]

I didn't quite know how to answer : to me promiscuous means GIO with a different person every week or something and I definately wasn't like that...but I was quite sexually active (not just with one long term boyfriend).

I don't regret it, it was a phase I went through trying to find my identity and explore my sexuality- had nothing to do with not getting enough nurturing at home and EVERYTHING to do with my mom saying stuff like "sex is for marriage, don't just give yourself away..." and crap like that. She made it seem like I had to stay "pure" to be a prize for my future husband and made it seem like if women enjoy sex and claim their sexuality that they are whores. I rebelled against that by enjoying my sexuality and embracing it as a totally natural, very pleasurable thing.

I think the late teen and college age years are a great time to explore this part of one's self as you are developing in many other ways as well. I do hope that I can guide my son and any future children to do so in healthy ways (avoiding relationships where they are simply being used for sex or disrespected). I want them to develop a view of sex as a natural, great thing that you share with someone you feel connected to and respect. I will tell them that when you deeply love someone that it takes sex to a totally higher and more pleasurable plane.

[CarrieMF]

I was 17 when I became sexually active, I was not promiscuous though. I had a few guys and it was no big deal. It had nothing to do with needing attention/love(they were all 1 night stands), it was just for fun and I don't regret it. Kinda wish I had started earlier. A couple of my friends were bordering on slutty. Theirs wasn't for attention either, but it was a competition between themselves on who had the most sexual partners, 1 night stands, guys in a night, etc. They had lists and everything.

There were 44 kids in my grade, 23 of us were girls. 2 were not virgins when we graduated. 13 of the girls would have been considered promiscuous(or more).

[love2all]

I do regret it-
I was way to active as a young teen. Trying to replace the love I wasn't getting from my dad.
I hope my kids can have HEALTHY sexual activity when they are ready

[desertpenguin]

I lost my virginity at 16, to my then-bf now-dh, who was 17. He was a virgin too.

[TiredX2]

Where is the option, "Wasn't promiscuous, regret it" option?

[girlndocs]

I voted "was not sexually active as a teen". Although that may have been the wrong option for me as I had intercourse for the first time with my now-DH when I was 18.

But you know what? I REGRET IT. I regret *not* being sexually active. I regret thinking of sex as something I couldn't engage in without bonding myself for life to the person I did it with. I regret thinking of my virginity as some huge prize to be hung onto for as long as possible. I regret being rabidly curious and horny and yet feeling like what I wanted to do was something only "bad" girls did. I regret having my relationships with males tainted by the expectation that they wanted something I was not to give them. I regret being watched like a hawk anytime I was with someone who had a penis -- no closed bedroom doors, no long walks alone, etc.

If I had my adolescence to do over again, I would want to be confident, assertive and sexually knowledgeable enough to choose respectful and compatible young men to experiment with, and have fun, joyful, non-guilty discoveries of sex with them. I regret the opportunity to experience sexual activity without feeling like it would tie me down to one person, one partner, forever.

[LadyMarmalade]

.

[3momkmb]

I was sexually active but not promiscuous. I had sex the first time at barely 15, but it was with the man I am now married too (and have been for 16years). I was lucky enough to meet my soul mate early on

I used to regret not experimenting more, as though I should have had sex with more then one person. I felt like I had missed something. I don't anymore. DH and I have a great relationship and a very rich sex life, what else matters?

I didn't have sex to fit in or to replace lost intimacy or to please my boyfriend, I had it because I wanted it, BAD! He was willing to wait, I wasn't LOL! I don't regret it at all, however, I do wish is that someone had talked to me about how sexual desire works and how you don't always have to act on it it was my hormones talking not my good judgement and it could easily have turned out badly.

[Eaglevoice]

Originally Posted by girlndocs

I regret thinking of sex as something I couldn't engage in without bonding myself for life to the person I did it with. I regret thinking of my virginity as some huge prize to be hung onto for as long as possible. I regret being rabidly curious and horny and yet feeling like what I wanted to do was something only "bad" girls did. I regret having my relationships with males tainted by the expectation that they wanted something I was not to give them. I regret being watched like a hawk anytime I was with someone who had a penis -- no closed bedroom doors, no long walks alone, etc.

If I had my adolescence to do over again, I would want to be confident, assertive and sexually knowledgeable enough to choose respectful and compatible young men to experiment with, and have fun, joyful, non-guilty discoveries of sex with them. I regret the opportunity to experience sexual activity without feeling like it would tie me down to one person, one partner, forever.

I honestly could not have said this better myself! This is exactly how I felt as an adolescent.

[FancyPants]

Je ne regrette rien

[Silvercrest79]

I chose "Not promiscuous, but sexually active as a teen, and regret it." I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18. It was only once with then boyfriend. The only other person I've slept with is my DH , starting when I was 19 before we were married.

I regret losing my virginity to someone who turned out to be a real jerk. I didn't think it was a big deal at the time but a few years after I married DH I felt kind of bad that I hadn't lost it to him, especially when he had lost his to me.

May be viewed as silly but that is just how I feel.

[richella]

I have no regrets.

Over the years I have come to understand that much of my behavior in my teens and twenties was a reaction to some early experiences of abuse, though if anyone had suggested that at the time I would have hotly denied it. I made my choices with the information I had at hand. I might not do it all the same again, but not like I was out serial murdering people or robbing convenience stores at gunpoint. Everything that I did in the past brought me where I am now, which is exactly where I am supposed to be.

I hope my daughter's childhood will be better, and that she will be better equipped to make more solid choices in her adolescence (and not just fake it, like I did, keeping good grades, never getting in trouble, being wild in secret!).

[PoppyMama]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

I think there is a general assumption with many parenting issues that if you the parent had an issue with something then your child will too. And as a result we tend to parent in the way we wish our parents had. Which works well for some things like if you were hit as a child, clearly it's a good thing to not do as was done to you. But it doesn't apply to all parts of our lives. Since our kids are individuals. What we wanted, may not be what they need. So I think it's a mistake to assume that ones child will feel the same as their parents on issues.

Very good point.

I guess I was promiscuous- I started at 14 and I didn't have many hangups about it. I loved sex.....wish I'd had a little more considering I'm trying to live off the memories now.

[umbrella]

I wasn't promiscuous by MY standards, but perhaps by someone else's (my partners were always serious, long-term boyfriends, but there were a few of those over the course of high school).

I was sexually active. I do not regret it.

There was a brief period where I did regret my sexual past in a way, because my dh did not have a similar past, and it was hard for him to accept my experiences. But then we both realized that that was stupid. He got over it, and I stopped feeling bad about something I never should have felt bad about.