Warning: long post ahead! Well I'm new to this forum, but I've been lurking a bit and it looks like just the place for me right now...I think I could use some advice/perspective. I am a young mama (20) to a wonderful 11-month-old DD. I am in my senior year of college and until now have kept up with my full-time schedule and my expected grad. date of May 2003. However, lately I have been having some serious problems related to family and school. My grades are wonderful but I miss my DD terribly when I am in class and I will have to go twice as much next semester in order to graduate (about 40 hours/week including travel,class, and internship time). DD already cries at the door every day when I have to leave...it breaks my heart and I usually leave crying too. DH and I have decided that once I graduate I will be staying home with her and home-schooling eventually. So here is the true problem: I cannot seem to justify spending 40 hours/week away from her for even one last semester in order to obtain a college degree that I will not even need, at least not anytime soon! This winter/spring she will be learning to walk and talk and so many amazing things that I will not be there for! However, my scholarship runs out in May and we are in no way able to pay for me to finish class-by-class. But I am so close....I don't know what to do...I just want to give up. I really feel that DD and I both suffer when we are apart so much but if I don't graduate or if I finish at a later date, will I regret it? Also, I feel pressure from my family to finish. They helped pay for my first year and expect me to finish on time so I feel that I owe them this. I would be the first college graduate in my family and they are so excited I can't even begin to describe it. I can only imagine the disappointment if I told them I wasn't going to. I am really at a loss here. If you have read all of this, I appreciate it and would like to hear any advice you have to offer. One last note- my University guidance couselor basically told me that this is all my fault and I deserve to be in this situation because I chose to have a child while in college. Although I understand that there is some truth in that, I prefer to consider my DD a gift who has greatly enriched my life (and DH's) and hope to find more helpful and less harsh advice/perspective here!
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11/22/02 at 11:06pm