Originally Posted by Crystal_clear
I guess it's hard for me to understand how that can be so depressing since I consider *all of us* to be damaged goods to some degree.
I don't know why it would be hard to understand.
I took excellent care of myself during pregnancy - I read up on labour and childbirth - stayed calm and maintained a positive attitude through 20+ hours of brutal back labour - I breastfed through pain and bleeding nipples and sometimes being literally stuck on the couch (as I was incapable of standing up from the incision pain) with my crying newborn in my arms. Then, I spent years living in poverty (bad scene with my ex) and making sure my son never missed a meal or lacked nutrition, even when I didn't have enough food and couldn't buy myself underwear. Because of certain of my choices (primarily staying with is father longer than I should have), I had to make ridiculous sacrifices to ensure that my son had the basics
. I did all of it, because I chose to bring my son into the world, and I owed him everything I could give him so he'd have the best possible start in life.
Why on earth would I not be depressed when, after years of living like that, someone tries to tell me that my son has been damaged for life by the one
event in his childhood that I had no control over, and no say about and that all my love and time and energy can't change it? Why would I not be depressed when after years of trying to come to terms with my anger and depression over my first c-section, I'm told that not only was it emotionally brutal for me, but my son is forever damaged because of it?
I haven't read up on the continuum concept, but I doubt there's any group of people anywhere who haven't said or done things to hurt their children. If nothing else, there are times that nature is cruel, and the effects of that on children exist no matter what the intentions of the adults around them may be.