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What did no one tell you about birth/postpartum that you learned the hard way? - Page 6

post #101 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by NaturalMomof3
Things I wish people would've told me:

3. (most importantly to ME) you can pass clots that are the size of the palm of your hand postpartum. I was told that if I passed anything larger than a quarter to call doctor. Well, 3 weeks PP at 3am I passed a huge clot and called my OB's after hours line and was told to go directly to the ER. Needless to say, I was crying thinking that I was bleeding to death and the ER docs told me it was normal.
:

I nearly did the same thing! I passed a palm-sized clot (or bunch of clots, whatever it was) a week or two PP and was very alarmed. I called my doctor too, and she just saw me in the a.m. and acted like it was no big deal. Wish I'd have known!
post #102 of 172
Quote:
Sweating and flooding the bed and being so so so leaky, just everything is just gross and drippy, and taking a shower, ..., the hot water and the standing makes you goosh more blood, the baby makes you leak more milk, you sure cant dry your hair so even that is wet, there is just a wet and messy thing going on.
Yes! So sticky and stinky!

I couldn't beleive how quickly my body shape went back to normal, like my baby had never even been inside me. I miss my belly!!!!
post #103 of 172
For my first birth (OB-attended elective induction w/ epidural @ hosp.) I couldn't believe NO ONE had mentioned the fact that when the baby is coming, it feels like a bowling ball is lodged in that little opening of the pelvis. C'mon ladies, stick your hands under your sit bones, and THINK ABOUT THAT...that yep, a head was just hangin' out there, about to be born. Profound.

I was shocked at my immidiate post-partum pain....a strange, deep, hollow gnawingness in the core of my being--turns out I was just outragiously hungry, having been NPO for the past 20 hours. And there was no "dinner" for me, what with my child born at 7:02 p.m. I ate my breakfast the next am though, you can belive that! (And THAT is another example of why I think hopsitals are sub-optimum locations to give birth.)

After my second birth (mw-attended homebirth) I wish my mws would've told me that I'd be sequestered upstairs, in my room, for a week. I know they made that "rule" to help my perineal tear heal, and probably really to keep me away from my kitchen, my 2-year-old, the laundry, etc. But it was a suprise at the time (yet a babymoon I shall always cherish!!!!!!!)

This was mentioned before, and I did learn this during my second post-partum, but if a woman relaxes, rests, and allows the interior of the womb to heal, lochia time is greatly reduced. The womb has a big ol' soft scab going on inside of it, and all that bending, dishwasher-loading, picking something up off the floor, etc. (let alone crazy things like grocery shopping! For shame, mamas!) will cause that scab to loosen, and ta da, more blood, and yes, sure, you can make that last 6 weeks, not relaxing the way you should (and indeed I am aware of the American Lifestyle and lack of proper post-partum support in the form of mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunties, neighbors, etc. that should be available to allow for a leisurely recovory.)

This thread isn't scary, in my opinion--it's a testimony to the amazing power and capacity of a woman's body. We are warriors, and we have been to the peak of the summit, and we have given everything, emotionally and physically, because we had a baby. And it's so easy to forget these 'negative' elements, when we look at our kiddos, running around.

If we were soldiers, just think--we'd have cool ribbons and insignia and stuff pinned to our uniforms. Like, we'd see the purple ribbon with the stripe and know, hey, you had hellish backlabor, or a blue-red ribbon signifiying VBAC or whatever. That'd be cool. Instead of hangin' at the VFW we'd be at the VHB (Veterans of Hosptial Births) patting each other on the back.
post #104 of 172
. . .that you can wipe yourself after and lose the toilet paper!
post #105 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabe
Yes! So sticky and stinky!

I couldn't beleive how quickly my body shape went back to normal, like my baby had never even been inside me. I miss my belly!!!!
AAAAW, shucks, you can have my belly!
post #106 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belle
Nobody told me I might actually enjoy labor. I'd go through labor again ten times over not to have to endure 9 months (or so) of barfing several times a day.
:

I can't say as I actually enjoyed labor and delivery, but with my first, I would most certainly have gone through labor once for every month of being sick if I could have!

Oh yeah, and I learned that one day after you deliver you may wake up looking like Dolly Parton because your milk came and and your hubby will be drooling all over you, but your boobs hurt soo bad that the thought of anyone touching them sends you into a psycotic rage! :LOL
post #107 of 172
The first time:

NIGHT SWEATS! I notice everyone seems to mention this. Why wasn't it in any of the 30 birthing books I read?

Constant milk leaking. The fact that the smell of lochia would make me sick (NOTHING like a menstrual smell). The fact that, after a few months, you have the same amount of milk but your breasts no longer get big and hard. And the leaking eventually stops.

This time and last: Postpartum acne, all over my arms and shoulders. I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere and it's baffling (and now, with my pp brain, I can't remember when it went away last time). I can only assume it's hormonal - I've never had acne before - and just wish I could read about it somewhere so I knew how to treat it.

About a c-section:
What's weird is that some people talk about it as Major Abdominal Surgery! and pamper you a bit, consider you in pain, etc. Whereas others expect you to be able to roll over and get up right away, to forego drugs, to be back to normal in no time. People's reactions (from hospital staff to friends in real life) run the gamut. And so (this in retrospect) it's really important to gauge how *YOU* personally feel, how much you're up to, etc. instead of relying on professional/external responses. Does that make sense?
post #108 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by teachinmaof3
That you can have a cervical/uterine prolapse!!
And that the results of that could be incontinance (both kinds : ) Disgusting but true, physical therapy helped, which involved alot of pilates movements...Who knew?...all better now
post #109 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyshoes
If we were soldiers, just think--we'd have cool ribbons and insignia and stuff pinned to our uniforms. Like, we'd see the purple ribbon with the stripe and know, hey, you had hellish backlabor, or a blue-red ribbon signifiying VBAC or whatever. That'd be cool. Instead of hangin' at the VFW we'd be at the VHB (Veterans of Hosptial Births) patting each other on the back.

Thanks for the milk coming out of my nose!! :LOL

I think you are right on, though! Theoretical question: how would the experience of childbirth be different if men participated in labor and birthing? More intervention (i.e., listening to those idiots who think all women simply need c/s), or more support (visiting doulas every day for the first month and a year's paid maternity leave)?
post #110 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama to 4
Ohmigosh yes! The placenta!!! After 2 hospital births where i was numb and the doctors somehow handled that part (sad and wierd, i know) I was SHOCKED about birthing the placenta! You want to be all blissed out with your baby and instead, back to more labor! It hurt! It took a long time and I just couldnt couldnt deal with it! It really sucked and until it was over I must confess that I barely cared about the baby, I was in too much pain!

They really really dont tell you that one, even in some of the more natural books on birth, it is like "Um yes and then the placenta is delivered"

VERY UNDERREPORTED
That was not my experience at all. After my baby nursed a while, I felt the urge to push (I think I'd had a few contrax in between, but no urge to push with them). I gave a little push, and it felt like a big loogie slipping out of me. No pain at all. Overly managed labor, delivery, and afterbirth is what causes most of these horror stories we are reading on this thread. If women are allowed to trust their instincts, things are so much easier, less painful, and recovery is so much faster. For example, my lochia only lasted two days after my natural birth, but nearly two months after my cesarean!


I was terrified to poop after my vbac, but the day after baby was born, I pooped no problem and it didn't hurt or anything (wiping, well, that's a different story, I think I refilled my peri-bottle three times rinsing my bottom after that first poop). It's like pushing a baby out taught me how to poop better, too. Just relax,open up, and let your body do the work for you. Nobody told me *that* :LOL
post #111 of 172
Quote:
It's like pushing a baby out taught me how to poop better, too. Just relax,open up, and let your body do the work for you. Nobody told me *that*
:

and this...

Quote:
This thread isn't scary, in my opinion--it's a testimony to the amazing power and capacity of a woman's body. We are warriors, and we have been to the peak of the summit, and we have given everything, emotionally and physically, because we had a baby. And it's so easy to forget these 'negative' elements, when we look at our kiddos, running around.

If we were soldiers, just think--we'd have cool ribbons and insignia and stuff pinned to our uniforms. Like, we'd see the purple ribbon with the stripe and know, hey, you had hellish backlabor, or a blue-red ribbon signifiying VBAC or whatever. That'd be cool. Instead of hangin' at the VFW we'd be at the VHB (Veterans of Hosptial Births) patting each other on the back.
is about the truest thing I've ever read :
post #112 of 172
How the pain quadruples when your water breaks

How much better it feels to move around

How good it feels to yell and growl

How sweatly you are for weeks after

Cramping while breastfeeding

How inept you will feel in caring for a new baby, and that 'instinct' only goes so far
post #113 of 172
That's funny about birth teaching you to poop better, b/c for me it was the opposite. I basically imagined myself doing a big bm to use the right muscles to push my babies out. :LOL
post #114 of 172
So, I am late to this thread, but I learned ... that nurses can and will look you right in the eyes and lie. And that even professional caregivers can be incredibly ignorant about birth.
post #115 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bippity
Nobody told me that the "baby blues" weren't just crying over the baby. Sounds dumb, but I was surprised when I found myself crying because my hubby wasn't home quick enough from the groc. store.
Yeah!

I cried because the washing machine broke and I had two babies in diapers.





:
post #116 of 172
No one told me that after the birth I'd be so ravenously hungry that I would have cheerfully knawed my husband's arm off if he hadn't, luckily for him, had a bagel with him to use to fend me off!

I think I was told, but didn't really understand, how intense transition would be (of course, I dilated from 3 to full in 45 minutes after my water broke, so intense is probably an understatement!).

No one told me that pushing could feel good. After the pain of transition, I could have pushed all day long. And no one told me that I would be able to feel the baby in the birth canal; with each push I could feel her head descend, then retreat again at the end of the contraction. Once I figured out the two steps forward - one step back rythym, she was born really quickly.
post #117 of 172
That having a wellknown midwife, your dp and a doula don't mean you'll be safe when you transfer to the hospital where you have a backup booking and they have a home birth liaison office. Newsflash, people, hospitals lie!

That PTSD can cause you to suicide - or at least want to - and even though my son was born nearly 2 years ago and I've done heaps of work processing, I still grieve my birthrape.

But all the physical stuff? Wowee. I had none of that. I had a c-sec, only took panadol and was back home the same day as the op.

Go figure!
post #118 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by applejuice
Yeah!

I cried because the washing machine broke and I had two babies in diapers.





:

Heck, that'd make me cry, and I wouldn't even have to have baby blues!
post #119 of 172
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2julia
How long a extended prodomal labor actually could be.. *(we're talking about several days over here)
oh gosh yes, it lasted over a week for me! I was ready to ask for some pit to get it into gear...luckily my midwife was so darn supportive.
post #120 of 172
Well, a mere 14 days after the birth of my first babe, here is what I wasn't prepared for:
-that you could tear on the upper, inside area of your vagina - I thought the only place I had to worry about was the perenium
-that the shoulders would hurt worse than pushing the head out
-that I could begin labor and have contractions already be 4 min apart!
-that I would cry every time I looked at dd - just overwhelmed at the love I feel for her
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