What did no one tell you about birth/postpartum that you learned the hard way? - Page 7

[Full Heart]

Originally Posted by ChelseaG

-that I could begin labor and have contractions already be 4 min apart!

When I had my first that would have been nice to know. Of course I was already well dialated but I didn't know that meant you would immediatly go into hard labor. I told dh if this is early labor I am never going to be able to do the hard stuff. Luckily my mother was there and she could tell by the sounds I was making it would be soon.

Michelle

[mama_b]

Originally Posted by ~*~MamaJava~*~

That it's possible to survive 17 hrs of back labour, but it ain't pretty.
I wish my Dr would have told me that DS was posterior - I would have looked into ways to help turn him and deal with that specific kind of pain.

Me too. Not even the tub helped me with the pain. I ended up with an epi because of this.

[LizaBear]

First birth (midwife; hospital; natural)

- that I would be STARVING hungry
- that the hospital doesn't have any food available at 4:45 am
- that I would get 'roids so badly
- that labour doesn't always follow what you're taught in classes and books
- that labour can still be real, even if the ctx aren't steady or regular
- that back labour is the worst pain I could ever feel
- that the "ring of fire" - IS


Second birth (unassisted, home, waterbirth)

- that waterbirth really IS as amazing as people say it is
- that *I* can birth without a doctor or midwife telling me how
- that my body is absolutely the most incredible thing there is
- that the afterpains would be so bad they'd make me cry
- that I would love having my son (2 yrs old) right there with me
- that labour can start by having ctx about 1 1/2 minutes apart, and end with a babe in arms in under 2 hours.

[FitMama]

Ditto to the impact a newborn has on a marriage. It was a very difficult adjustment for us, but happily, everything improved.

Ditto to the weepiness that comes with being a mom. DS loves Finding Nemo and darn it if that movie doesn't make me cry every time. I'm such a lightweight now.

Ditto to the overwhelming love I feel when I look at my precious son. How can I love someone SOOOO much?

I wish someone had told me that I might deliver my forebag of waters intact, and that it would make me feel like pushing, even though I knew I wasn't complete. I was so freaked out, I thought maybe it was cord prolapse because I felt something emerging from me and I knew it wasn't the baby. I was standing up at the time, sort of leaning over the bed, and I looked down to see this huge, stretched out, water balloon coming out. It broke on the floor and splashed at my feet. That was my "water breaking" experience. Weird.

I wish I had know that recovery was way worse than L&D. I could endure L&D drug-free, but was desperate for pain killers to deal with that healing tear.

I wish I had known how miserable a nursing strike could be (not really post partum, but some warning would have been nice!).

[EmmaJean]

fitma, we watched nemo daily when Lily was born! It's all James wanted to watch and I said "whatever"

ditto recovery. "birth" has a beginning and and end, but recovery is a different story!

[Spring Sun]

1. That it hurts soooo much to pee the first time
2. That you don't ever have to tear (and I didn't bc my midwife was so awesome!)
3. That you can forget about sleeping the first night bc your awareness of this new little life equals that of superman.
4. That a sitz bath is like heaven when you are drinking a nice warm glass of postpartum tea.
5. That you can take an actual bath
6. That it can go reeeallllyyy fast the first time and reaaallly early (like 5 hours long and one week early!)
Good luck all you new mamas! It was the greatest day of my life giving birth to Elijah.

[darsmama]

~That you can be in labor and birth a baby on contractions that are only 2-3 minutes apart and only last 30-45 seconds!
~That your tail bone can feel like someone broke it after the baby was born even when you were off your back for the birth...
~That your butt can hurt so much - why!? Mine hurts worse then anything. It feels like someone took out my intestines and jammed them back in wrong with a hot poker.
How much I love the milk/sweat smell..Maybe gross, but I do love it
~That, ideally not giving your babe a wipedown after birth is very gentle, by day 2 in the July heat they will smell like your genatalia does after a couple days of not showering..Not pleasant.
~ That its ok to not feel like holding your baby 1/2 hour after birth. You need to regroup yourself too!

[~*~MamaJava~*~]

Thought I'd add: how much better birth can be when you're not afraid of it. My experience with #2 was 100% better than my experience with #1 (which wasn't that horrible) because I was excited, brave, and mentally ready. Before #1 I wouldn't have said that I was afraid, but I was. And when I was in labour I was nervous and tense. Not a good thing.

I wish someone would have told me about postpartum anxiety as well.

[~*~MamaJava~*~]

BTW: Congratulations, Katie!

[Aura_Kitten]

Originally Posted by darsmama

How much I love the milk/sweat smell..Maybe gross, but I do love it

oh mama you can say that again.

new baby plus milky breath plus new baby sweat = heaven.

[Nickarolaberry]

Heh, good thread (especially since I"m due imminently, lol...luckily for you all with #3!)

Birth 1:

1) Labor actually does really hurt
2) An episiotomy might have to be surgically repaired...twice...OUCH!
3) Never trust an OB who says, "do you want me to break your water" with the hook already halfway up
4) Don't send baby to the nursery for the requisite hour alone because someone might give her a HepB shot without your consent :
5) Breastfeeding might be natural but it isn't always intuitive...and the "lactation nurse" at the hospital might not know what the heck she's talking about (enter LLL)

6) You might have a weird hormonal reaction and get the runs while night nursing for the first few weeks (ICKY!)
7) Those ice packs they give you in the hospital for your privates are worth their weight in gold.

Birth 2:

1) GET A DOULA! Doulas rock!
2) You can have a pain-meds free birth even when pitocin-induced (due to high blood pressure 10 days postdue, and dates were sure - IVF babe)
3) You can totally freak the hospital staff out by giving birth backwards on the bed and making the OB crouch underneath you (i.e. when being told to turn around you can tell them to @#@$#@$ off) and by actually making noise during labor.
4) It's better not to give birth the night before the Big Blackout (so the babies had to stay in the nursery, the only place where they had a/c running)
5) Nurseries do not have comfortable chairs for new mommies to sit.

Birth 3:
NOT YET!
(this time have a midwife, hoping for a peaceful water birth!)

[earthmama369]

-I got a little too far into the "labor is hard work" idea and was really surprised when it hurt as much as it did.

-I never knew pushing would feel like I was trying to pass a bowling ball through my rectum.

-I didn't know my arms would be the most sore part of my body after giving birth.

-Of all the horrible things I read could happen during birth (and didn't), the one I never heard of did happen -- my labor and my cervix got out of sync with each other and I started transition contractions while my cervix was still at 3 cm and stayed in transition for 8 hours. Yikes!

-I never knew I could stay up all day and night just gazing at my baby after being in labor for 21 hours. I thought I would have been exhausted.

-I never knew I could be so afraid of going to the bathroom. (Although everything ended up working just fine.)

-I never knew the power of ignorance until I squatted to pick up my daughter about a week after she was born and two mamas who were visiting gasped and said I shouldn't have been able to do that. *shrug* I felt fine.

-I didn't know I would feel so vulnerable while in labor, and so good and powerful after giving birth. I was euphoric for weeks!

[hookahgirl]

my arms were the worst too!! i had no pain anywhere but my arms and when i peed lol!!!!!!!

[Pandora114]

ooooh

- That it will feel like battery acid when you pee for the first time
- That Sposie pads SUCK for PP..can you say diaper rash?
- That I would get monster roids
- That I would puke
- That if someone asks you a question during a contraction, you look at them with a deer in the headlight look
- That You can have an orgasm while pushing :
- That Cranberry juice is a huge no-no as a labour drink...*reffering back to the battery acid pee*
- That it's OK to yell and get vocal
- That Men *at least the Bio-idiot* are completely useless and retarded during labour can you say gomer? *NOTE: To the ladies who have had men as wonderful birth partners, I'm sorry, but IME, my mom's experience, my MIL's experience, Men are useless as breasts on a bull during labour*

[MelissaRose]

Originally Posted by eminer

I think you need to add a note: Don't read if currently pregnant!

Pushing feeling like pooping was a big one for me, too. That would have clarified things A LOT.

I had a feeling maybe I shouldn't read this since I am pregnant, but I just can't help myself!

I had heard about the "pushing feeling like pooping" thing before though. Well I better read the rest of the thread so I can continue to torture myself with butterflies in the stomach and thoughts of "oh my gosh...oh...ack!" etc :LOL

[USAmma]

That passing golfball sized clots is normal for the first day or two.

that everyone keeps telling you to rest but you are on such a high that you can't!

[ChattyCat]

That despite doing everything "right," you could still be one of those rare women, whose baby physically does not fit through your pelvis.

[starlein26]

Originally Posted by FrumDoula

I hate epidurals for the birth, but ya know, for the afterpains ..... well, there's an idea!

that's funny...that was my running joke the weeks following birth. recovery is SO much worse than delivery. ouch! it took me 1/2 hour to get out of bed and onto the toilet a few feet away....ouch, ouch, ouch! and i was terrified to push!! yikes!

i was also surprised how my entire body was in pain like i had been run over by a truck over and over. and that pain was still there at 6 weeks pp. especially in the hips.

oh and this is stupid and vain but i was surprised that i still looked nine months pregnant for a few days after ds had come out. no one even remotely ever mentioned that?

[AnditheBee]

Originally Posted by valeria_vi

I really thought that I was in pre-labor and that it could go on for days and did not realize it was the real thing. and I read so much about birth.

Same with me. Turns out when my water broke, I'd been in labor for over 2 days and didn't know.

Also, that laying on your back during labor makes the pain about twice as bad!!

And that cervical checks can be the most painful part of the whole dang process. :

[Mama Dragon]

I have no idea if this one has been mentioned, but I've never heard of anyone else having it happen to, so I thought I'd add:

Your cervix can tear, even if you are 10cm and pushing exactly how you should be. Mine only needed 1 stitch, but having the doctors hand all the way up inside me when I was 16 years old was completely unreal!