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What did no one tell you about birth/postpartum that you learned the hard way? - Page 5

post #81 of 172
7/21/05 at 12:32am
No one mentioned that seeing my husband become the most amazing father would make him sexier than he'd ever been

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post #82 of 172
7/21/05 at 12:58am
emmajean: yeah, an ND taught that to us (circle of friends), something about the plug being equated to scar tissue in a sense and the castor oil helps to break that up and that if you don't do something to "break it up" the body will more prone to plugs in the same spot...curious stuff, huh? mind over matter??? who knows! it has worked for me either way!
post #83 of 172
7/21/05 at 1:22am
No one told me that your ribs can hurt from the baby using them to push off on during birth. Thought I broke something!

No one told me you could get an anal fisure pp. That was a lovely surpirse : .

No one told me about SPD - its like some big hidden secret. Oh that pelvic pain is normal my butt.

No one told me how hungry I would be immediatly after giving birth.

No one told me how thirsty you get bfing.

No one told me that sometimes bfing is hard because the baby doesn't know how to suck.

No one told me that afterbirth pains can actually not get worse with each one A little hope for you ladies. #5 pp pains didn't hurt at all. Which was quite the relief after I passed out from the pain with #4.

No one told me that using those awful disposible pads pp can dry you out like a desert. I finally got smart with #5 and switched to cloth pp and no more dryness!

No one told me I would pass out from exhaustion each time I would bfed because the hormones make you totally relax. Maybe thats just me though.

No one told me that you could have freaky waking dreams the first few days pp.

No one told me you could have too much milk.

No one told me that babies can spit up out their nose lol.

No one told me how sick you can get with mastitis.

Ditto the shakes and night sweats and scary bms.

Funny this isn't really making me look forward to giving birth again lol.

Michelle
post #84 of 172
7/21/05 at 10:31am
Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterBaby
No one mentioned that seeing my husband become the most amazing father would make him sexier than he'd ever been

post #85 of 172
7/21/05 at 11:13am
I wish someone had told me that you might not feel it when you tear. I didn't feel it at all when it happened. Everything was completely healed and "fully functional" by 3 weeks post-partum.

My entire body was sore after giving birth, the muscles in my arms, legs, abdomen - wow! I think it was the biggest workout my body ever had. The rest of my body was much more sore than my yoni was.
post #86 of 172
7/21/05 at 11:26am
No one told me that my whole body would hurt, either! My arms kept falling asleep when i held dd for the first day

No one told me that 3 months of partial bedrest (more like house arrest) would do so much damage to my muscle tone, stamina, endurance, etc, that i'd be physically EXHAUSTED from walking up a flight of stairs even months after giving birth.

No one told me how much i'd want to hibernate & not have any visitors AT ALL after giving birth, especially once i was home. If i ever have another baby, we're putting a sign on the door with a picture of a sleeping baby telling people to go away
post #87 of 172
7/21/05 at 11:38am
that you can tell people to go away and stop telling you how YOU feel and that you are in pain. The only reason I let them do an epidural was because the stress of having people telling me I was in pain was pissing me off and that made the pain difficult to handle. To this day, dh acts like my savior over this! I didn't want meds and was doing fine.

that I really should have trusted my own instincts

that my cathererator would cause me to get UTIs at the drop of a hat later

that Chinese food with a good mamma friend full of love and support is the best medicine. My friend was so amazing. She was supportive, and even though she was never able to b'feed, she had fabulous tips that made a large difference the first couple of days.
post #88 of 172
7/21/05 at 11:49am
Nobody told me that the "baby blues" weren't just crying over the baby. Sounds dumb, but I was surprised when I found myself crying because my hubby wasn't home quick enough from the groc. store.
post #89 of 172
7/21/05 at 12:27pm
Not sure if anyone has mentioned this-

But no one told me that after having a baby, you kinda smell bad for a while. I think it has to do with all the hormones breaking down and being excreted through the skin.

I forgot about being stinky untill I was near another new mom who was exercising and noticed her being kinda ripe. Then I remembered it. I don't remember how long it lasted, but it seems like there was at least a week there where I couldn't take enough showers!

Weird, huh?
post #90 of 172
7/21/05 at 4:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobica
No one told me that 3 months of partial bedrest (more like house arrest) would do so much damage to my muscle tone, stamina, endurance, etc, that i'd be physically EXHAUSTED from walking up a flight of stairs even months after giving birth.
No "house arrest" for me, but you did just remind me how out of shape I felt for a few months after the baby. I remember taking walks and having to tell my husband to slow down, and wondering if I'd ever get my old healthy-feeling body back.
post #91 of 172
7/21/05 at 8:27pm
oh yeah that dh thing...
me and dh werent together that long when i got pg. and he inititally said he did not want kids at all. but he did agree to be my baby's daddy etc etc. so after the baby was born, i was actually CONFUSED as to why he wanted to hold her so much. or was willing to be the first to change her poopy diaper! i was looking for a reason other than the fact that he was absolutely in love with her! maybe even more than i was in the very beginning since i was out to lunch for a bit with the extra good natural drugs my body produced!!

i was so consumed with the idea of motherlove that i didnt realise the daddylove thing could be so strong.

when i was considering ttc #2, i never worried about my vagina/uterus etc but the thought of my butt (hem-a-roids) having to go through the birth process made me think twice!! piles are just another name for this lovely experience. piles of grapes on your butt or something like that!! i could go for accupuncture and talked about it but ya know, at the end of the day, i just cant get up there on the table and get needles stuck in my butt.
post #92 of 172
7/21/05 at 8:57pm
They don't put the needles in your butt.
post #93 of 172
7/21/05 at 9:50pm
Man, I love this thread, but it is making me scarrrrrrrrrred again!!!! (Due in October!)

the things no one told me that I had to learn the hard way:
Baby number one:
Afterpains! I was weeping when I nursed in the hospital and all they said was "Do you wanna sleeping pill?"

The whole Milk-Coming-In thing.........She was born and nursing away Monday tuesday wednesday thursday........but Friday morning there was something terribly terribly wrong, my boobs were growing and hardening before my very eyes, she couldnt latch anymore, I felt like I had cement implants, my pulse was racing, I was so scared!!! She would nurse alittle and pull away coughing and spitting and it was spraying all over the place...........definately no one tells it to ya like that!

that I would feel so skinny and awesome right away, even though i was all smooshy, just to have that baby out, and my ankles back, i thought i was the hottest mama ever : )

That you nurse almost most of the hour, every hour, for the first weeks---I didnt really have a problem with it, but boy o boy did the wierd family and friends have an earful to say (I was 22 and the first friend or family to have a baby let alone breastfeed, so since i was lame enough to have people over at all during those hideous/precious first weeks, they felt i was fair game to inspect and try to destroy-- i honestly dont know how i made it through!!)

That newborns poo and poo and poo like every 15 minutes! At least mine did!

Sweating and flooding the bed and being so so so leaky, just everything is just gross and drippy, and taking a shower, ok, sure, you know you need one but the baby screams because you dared to take a shower, the hot water and the standing makes you goosh more blood, the baby makes you leak more milk, you sure cant dry your hair so even that is wet, there is just a wet and messy thing going on that maybe just maybe a full time laundry helper could barely keep up with. the pads the towels the cloths the diapers the bras the outfits it is all such a mess at first.


Baby number 2, C-section: what i learned about c-sections the VERY HARD WAY:

They lay you out buck naked and strap your arms down like an actual crucifix. Then you get the drapes. But for a little bit you are t o t a l l y N a k e d.

that you can puke and puke and puke during the whole surgery, being terrified that you will lurch too much and they will slip with their knives

that it takes like 2 minutes for the baby to get carved out but they sew you up for almost 3 HOURS, and your baby is gone and you puke and puke and shake and you are all alone

that on day 3 they take away your IV painkillers and you are in big big trouble if you need to move more than one centimeter but they leave you alone with your baby way over there in his little plastic bed and when he screams for you you cant even turn enough to press the nurse button but you still try but you rip all your staples and they yell at you that he just nursed.

that your feet swell up so badly that you wish for your old 9 months preg feet back!!

that they starve you for three days afterwards "to prevent gas"

that your belly will be numb yet itchy for 4 1/2 years

that i would look so huge and swollen and pregnant afterwards.

that going from 1 kid to 2 would be SOOOOOO HARD, i couldnt figure out how to go the grocery store, take a shower, make one decent meal, nothin for months and months!


Baby number 3, homebirth

That natural regular labor can be so so so so so painful.

That a modest, reserved person (me!) would end up being exactly like those naked ladies in the birth videos, crawlin' around my house mooing and moaning on my hands and knees without one single thought of midwife or DH looking at my big ole butt and god knows what else --- not even a little bra, nightie, nothin : ) I dont even remember how it happened! I think i took a shower in early labor and just fell out of the bathroom and remained nude...

that instead of bleeding for 9 weeks i bled for 4 days because i actually stayed in my bed.

that when you arent filled with wierd drugs your milk comes in much faster, as in 2 days not five.

that going from 2 kids to 3 wasnt that hard, in fact it felt really really good.

What i am learning in preg#4 already!
that when you need the most help people think you are an old pro or something and you dont get any!

that i could get hemmoroids so early in pregnancy

that i could get the pubis pain thing so early in pregnancy

SIGH!
post #94 of 172
7/21/05 at 9:57pm
Oh, you reminded me with the swelling thing!
-that an IV can make your entire body puffy for a couple days
-that you can burst a LOT of blood vessels in your eyes and face while pushing so you look like you have measles or something
post #95 of 172
7/21/05 at 11:43pm
God, this is a frightening thread!

I don't even know what to contribute. Most of what I learned "the hard way" was all about how evil intervention is...
post #96 of 172
7/22/05 at 8:59am
For me the big shock was how hard it was to push out the placenta. Everything that I'd read or learned in my Bradley class glossed over that part. In reality, after 12+ hours of back labor and 3 hours of pushing out the baby, I had nothing left over for pushing out the placenta. When the midwife told me to keep pushing, I just said no. I literally couldn't do it.
post #97 of 172
7/22/05 at 10:52am
Ohmigosh yes! The placenta!!! After 2 hospital births where i was numb and the doctors somehow handled that part (sad and wierd, i know) I was SHOCKED about birthing the placenta! You want to be all blissed out with your baby and instead, back to more labor! It hurt! It took a long time and I just couldnt couldnt deal with it! It really sucked and until it was over I must confess that I barely cared about the baby, I was in too much pain!

They really really dont tell you that one, even in some of the more natural books on birth, it is like "Um yes and then the placenta is delivered"

VERY UNDERREPORTED
post #98 of 172
7/22/05 at 12:24pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama to 4
that I would feel so skinny and awesome right away, even though i was all smooshy, just to have that baby out, and my ankles back, i thought i was the hottest mama ever : )
Oh, I totally forgot about that. I remember distinctly after dc1 that I caught a glimpse of myself naked in the mirror and was stunned. I came out of the bathroom and said to my dh, "look at me - I'm hot!" :LOL Honestly I think I looked about 5-6 months pregnant, but after being so huge for so long it felt really thin!

Also I thought of another one yesterday while watching The Price is Right...

You loose all control of emotions (at least I have). 4 1/2 years after my first and 20+ months after my second, I still cry at the drop of a hat. Like when the guy on The Price is Right won $11,500 on Plinko! I swear, it filled me with tears. I cry at EVERYTHING now! Ya know that part in the Lion King where they're singing Hakuna Matata and there's the transition part where Simba transforms from a kid to an adult lion while walking across that log singing "hakuna matata hakuna mata hakuna mata"??? Gets me every time - even when just listening to the soundtrack! Why? Because having kids makes you insane!!! :
post #99 of 172
7/22/05 at 1:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dharmama
thought of one more....

no one told me (or if they did, i didn't pay attention) how hard introducing a baby can be on the marriage relationship.

we're just over a year postpartum now and life is really good but oh man...those first few months....sleep deprivation...adjusting to life as a SAHM...dh working crazy hours...dd screaming if anyone other than me tried to hold her...each of us feeling that we were working so much harder than the other (i.e. me: "at least you get to go to work!" him: "at least you don't have to go to work!")

we had some ugly days before we stopped fighting/challenging/resenting each other and really started to work together.
yes, that was a big one for me. Nothing he did for months was right. I actually disliked him for awhile It's better now but it was really tough.

I also didn't know that back labor could happen even if the baby is anterior. OUCH! I don't even remember feeling anything in my abdomen, just my back

The icky-drippy-ness of sweat/milk/lochia.
post #100 of 172
7/22/05 at 4:06pm
Nobody told me about nightsweats and since it was over 100 degreees for two weeks after she was born I attributed it to that. Now that I think about it I'm sure I would have been hot no matter what.

Nobody told be the "baby blues" did not necessarily mean I would be unhappy. I could be so super happy and bawling my eyes out.

Somebody told me that post partum pains hurt, but I didn't really believe her. They hurt more than actual labor.

I'd heard that love at first sight was a myth, that to not feel disappointed if I didn't fall in love with my dd right away. That was wrong, as soon as I laid eyes on her I loved her instantly.

Somebody told me that BFing hormones relax you. I didn't realize that meant BFing had a sedative effect. Two minutes after latching on my eyes would be rolling back in my head. I would get sooooo sleepy.

Nobody told me I might actually enjoy labor. I'd go through labor again ten times over not to have to endure 9 months (or so) of barfing several times a day.

Nobody told me that time has no meaning to a laboring woman. I was stuck in the now and at the time it didn't occur to me that I was pushing a baby out. Some of my first reactions to when she came out were
"That's it!"
"OMG There's a baby!"
"Why are my Mom and dh crying?"
"There's a baby"
"OMG! Look what I did!"
"There's a baby" :LOL
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You may also like:

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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › What did no one tell you about birth/postpartum that you learned the hard way?