What would you do? This lactivist made a boo boo

[cutekid]

I recently joined an online community that's sole purpose is giving away free stuff.

Yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to take the formula samples I had and list them. I was hoping that someone who really needed them would ask for them. Well, today I get a reply from a woman who is expecting. I am at a loss at what to do. I cannot bring myself to give her free formula knowing that she will be give it to her newborn. But on the other hand I don't know this woman's situation. For all I know she cannot breastfeed.
I have thought about just giving them to a local homeless shelter and telling her that's what I did and kindly invite her to our local LLL.

What would you guys do if you were in this situation. I wouldn't mind giving the formula to a women who was already using formula but I would feel like I am doing the breastfeeding community a huge injustice if I willing gave this formula to this women.

[my2girlsmama]

I'm sorry but personally I could never bring myself to give it to ANY mother. If she is already using I'm sure she would find a way to get it. You could donate it to a shelter if you truly want to, would be better (I guess?) than giving it to a mom.................I'd throw it out.


Guess it depends on your conscious. If it bugs you, don't give it to anyone, if it's ok with you do what you please. Most of us here I assume wouldn't do much with it .

[yanksNYC]

The benefit of freecycle (or similar lists) is that she doesn't KNOW who else responded to you. So you can simply say it's been spoken for. I would either sit back and WAIT for a request to be posted for formula, or take it elsewhere.

I should add that on another freecycle list a expecting mom who had had a double mastectomy was looking for formula...so such requests do come down the pike sometimes.

[Mama25]

Maybe you could say you are so sorry that you made a mistake about posting the formula. It wasn't until after you posted that you realized that it really wasn't the best thing to do and state your beliefs about why you wish you hadn't done that etc.
I know it could be uncomfortable to do this. Maybe instead of the formula you could say you instead have some free breastfeeding info to give away, perhaps you have an bf book or some brochure or some other free bf item like nursing pads, lansinoh or something along those lines to give her. At least this way you are softening the blow of not getting the formula and at least she is still getting something for free. And we know the best thing for free is breastmilk.

[Ellien C]

no advice for your free posting sit -

BUT - I gave my formula to an AIDS foodbank. I thought that was a good use.

[Luvmyboyz]

Most animal shelters take formula, even opened cans. They need it for abandoned puppies and kitties and such. Just FYI.

[annettemarie]

The animal shelters around here WON'T take it for animals. It isn't good enough.

If you search this forum using the word "freecycle" you'll find lots of threads that deal with this topic!

[lactationmom]

I'd personally let her know that I had really intended it to go to someone who had already been formula feeding, so that you wouldn't negatively influence a new mom who should at least give breastfeeding a good attempt. Then load her with some great words of encouragement, links to how bad formula can be and invite her to a LLL. All it can do is help, if she hates breastfeeding-supportive people, well, you wouldn't have made a pal but hey, it's not like you lost anything since you didn't know her anyway.

[tboroson]

Animal shelters probably wouldn't take it for animals for the same reason people shouldn't feed their newborns cow's milk - it's optimized for a different species, and is woefully inadequate for kittens and puppies. There are kitten and puppy formulas that are optimized (to the best we're able, obviously) for them...

Personally, I would give it to her because, right or wrong, she feels she needs it and you offered to help. It's not like you're giving her enough to feed the baby forever. In fact, when she comes to pick it up, it may be a very good time to approach her about breastfeeding. You'll have her face to face, she'll have a good reason to feel somewhat indebted to you so she'll be more inclined to listen at least a little bit. So, you can use this formula as a lactivism tool

[sarahwebb]

Originally Posted by lactationmom

I'd personally let her know that I had really intended it to go to someone who had already been formula feeding, so that you wouldn't negatively influence a new mom who should at least give breastfeeding a good attempt...

I'd be more positive. If she's on the fence about breastfeeding, she could be easily alienated by a heavy approach.

I'd tell her that I'm a breastfeeding mother who loves breastfeeding so much that I'm not comfortable giving the formula to a pregnant mother who could still chose to breastfeed. And I'd offer to give her resources and information if she decides she's interested in learning more about breastfeeding...

Sarah

[RachelJune01]

I am all for BF'ing and think that everyone should do it exclusively, but I don't think refusing to give it to her or giving her a bunch of BF'ing info instead is a good idea. You offered it, she asked for it. If you do that you will run the risk of upsetting her and putting her off to BF'ing. Kind of like some women don't want to contact LLL because they have heard bad stories of militant leaders, however untrue that may be.

If you don't want to give it to her tell her that you found someone else that you already gave it to.

[mraven721]

I'd be careful about posting such things on freecycle. There was someone here who was taking it all and reselling it on Ebay. Yuck.

[Luvmyboyz]

The animal shelters where I have lived have always taken it. I know it is totally inferior to puppy and kitty formula but it is certainly a better choice than euthanasia, imo. I have lived in NV and AZ and the shelters there have both taken it. I may call the one here in FL because I refer moms to it when they are looking for places to donate all of the free cans they get in the mail (I also, of course, mention other places that they can choose to donate to-I'm not totally puppy and kitty crazy!)

[ZeldasMom]

Originally Posted by Ellien C

no advice for your free posting sit -

BUT - I gave my formula to an AIDS foodbank. I thought that was a good use.

I like this idea. I accidently let my formula go past the expiration date before I figured out what to do with it and I felt bad about wasting food. I would feel better donating it or drinking it myself.

[ZeldasMom]

Originally Posted by sarahwebb

I'd be more positive. If she's on the fence about breastfeeding, she could be easily alienated by a heavy approach.

:

From a strategic perspective I would be careful to not sound like I was giving a lecture. Back when I waited tables some people would leave religious tracts instead of a tip. It felt so condescending. In a way responding to a request for formula with a note about how you shouldn't be formula feeding reminds me of that.

I would probably say something like sorry, it's no longer available and not go into the specifics. Then I would congratulate her on her pregnancy and offer the BF info, saying something like the pp suggested, maybe "I love babies and had such a wonderful experience with bf I can't talk to a new-mama-to-be w/o sharing". Freecycle is an online forum, right? You could at least give some links to LLL, kellymom, etc.

[minkajane]

We donated all the samples we got to our local food bank. Even if it's not as good as the breast, the parents won't have to resort to watering down the formula because they can't afford to buy more.

[MrsMoe]

Is she is expecting, maybe she has a medical condition where she cannot breastfeed?

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

something interesting about freecycle is you dont have to give it to the first person who asks for it. you can collect a few responses if you wish and then pick who gets it. this helps prevent the same person from getting everything each time.

there are those of us who decide they want something out of the house regardless of who gets it too though.

that being said- i'd likely say it was spoken for.

[MamaFae]

Just a thought to consider. When I was pregnant with my first I was so terrified that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed that I signed up for all the free formula I could get, since I saw how expensive it was and I knew we would be strapped if we had to go that route. I am happy to say however that DS#1 only at 4 oz of formula his entire life (due to an illness and a panicked DH!) and the rest we gave away to various places.

You never know what is going through the mind of a pregnant woman! She could be just preparing for the worst, but I would if your heart is troubled by this, just tell her that it is already spoken for.

N~

[Peppamint]

I understand how you feel. I ended up throwing away what I had because I could never get to the pregnancy center when they were open (and I was so conflicted about it anyway). Not to mention it was that fake DHA Enfamil stuff and after reading how it's made so many babies sick because of the GMO algae in it I just couldn't do it.