Originally Posted by paula_bear
Wow, this is one of my pet peeves. For DD's first birthday, we only invited immediate family (who would have given gifts anyway), godparents, and a few close friends. Everyone enjoyed it and we weren't overloaded with gifts. We didn't do anything special - no games, clown, etc. Just good food and clean old-fashioned fun! Cheap goodie bags for the kids consisted of dollar store items, nothing fancy.
At the peds office, I was talking to a woman who invited more than 50 people for her DD's first birthday. I thought it was not only unnecessary, but gluttonous! When the kids get older, I think we should still limit their birthday parties. It seems that each year they get more elaborate and costly. What does this teach the kids? Not the sort of values I want to pass on... What makes it difficult is explaining to your child why you don't want to spend a fortune celebrating their birthday. I guess this is as good a time as any to talk about the futility of "keeping up with the Joneses."
I have an honest question. My husband has a big family, I have a small family but I have lots of friends, close friends. They have children. We LOVE to have birthday parties for our kids. We invite family and friends. We invite our kids friends from school and their parents and siblings.
We have a giant barbeque in the back yard. The kids play on the swing set, play games, hit a pinata, scramble for candy, get goody bags, eat hamburgers and cake, give presents, splash in the kiddie pool and play on the slip and slide.
The adults socialize, relax, look after one another's kids, have a burger, drink a beer.
There is usually somewhere between 30- 50 people. They bring presents. I bring presents to their kids when they have a party.
Why does the fact that I "have a party with 50 people" become a pet peeve of yours? It may not be "necessary, but no party is. Why is it gluttonous? It' s a party! I love providing my friends with food, drink, frivolity and fun. I don't know why I would be criticized or judged for that.
I see the "value" of it like this: we have friends and family with whom we love to play and spend time with. We like to feed them, and enjoy their company at a party. What is wrong with the "values" of thowing a party? I love to give them, I love to go to them. It's how relationships develop.
Could you explain more clearly? I love big parties, you like small. A matter of taste, or opinion, I think, don't you?