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Janulicious July #3 - Page 23

post #441 of 535
Jeni, oh yah, NCSS didn't really give me any new ideas that I was willing to try.. specifically it focused on setting a schedule and sticking to it with only the smallest of deviations, and I just can't do that right now. So we're just trying to get in as many naps when she seems even the tiniest bit tired and sucking it up on the nights that suck. And the occasional chamomilla and tylenol depending on how she's acting. I think some nights the teeth really hurt.

My dx and the future, well uhh.. if we can find the cause (stress, vitamin or mineral or something, etc) then eliminating the cause will help. If not, there are meds or a pacemaker if it gets bad. Going to meet w/the cardio and find out.

Going back to mom's for the night.

Lisa
post #442 of 535
Catnip we are having an ant problem too. Ugh I hate ants. Nothing we do is getting rid of them and I think I've just about given up and decided that they don't really eat very much and I'm gonna try to ignore them Y'all might not want to come eat at my house any time soon!

Karen, I didn't mention this before but almost two years ago my dad fell off a ladder and had a pretty severe head injury. He had to do a lot of rehab because he was in bed for about a month before he could get up again and he really couldn't walk at first or anything. Anyway it took about 6 months from the accident to be basically normal again and it was really frustrating for him, but he did get there. I know its not quite the same thing, but actually I think there are a lot of similarities..he had to build new pathways to do some things. Hang in there, both you and your dad, it will get better sooner than it feels right now.

Annie, if he's not tantruming because he wants to nurse than nursing isn't giving in, its just comforting him. One thing that I found helped when I was a teacher for a group of two year olds was to give the kids the words they needed. Like "wow, you are mad she took your toy, you wanted that toy!" If I didn't know why they were having a tantrum I'd just say "Wow, you are mad, really really mad" It kind of helped to do this in a sort of emphatic voice. If they calmed down a little I would try saying, "boy I would sure like to help you solve this" or something like that. I know the prevailing wisdom is not to give the tantrum any attention at all, and sometimes I think you do have to go that route with some kids, but I also think there are ways to model appropriate responses to frustration without it meaning that you've "given in". I'd say about half the time saying "I'd like to help you" got me a kid that was back in control of him/herself. You sound like you have really good perspective on it at least, I know it would drive me NUTS sometimes when the kids would throw multiple tantrums in a day. It usually helped to remind myself that as lousy as it was to be the teacher watching the tantrum, it must feel even worse to be the kid having it. I hope I can remember that when its Japhet throwing the tantrums!

Michelle, crossing my fingers that she gains weight.

I know there were other things I wanted to respond to! Its so hard to remember it all.

Today we went to the family center and I was talking with the woman that runs the parent group about having been an educator and the person who hands OUT the pamphlets to parents and how it feels to now be on the receiving end. Its funny because I really do need the pamphlets still, its so easy to forget things when its your own kid. I was thinking that again when I read the "things to say instead of no" list above, I am so good at saying these kinds of things in a classroom situation where I'm "on" but I've already noticed me saying "don't" and "no" to Japhet much more than I want to. Right now I'm mostly doing it jokingly but I realized he's still going to learn what it means, and I really still should use my better language skills. It never occurred to me how much harder it was going to be to do when it was my own child and I was just more likely to be not thinking before I say something. So much is "don't" at the moment, he just wants to play with everything and most of the world isn't safe for a six month old it seems.

Things that Japhet wanted today that he couldn't have:

Cherries, shopping receipt, plastic bags at the grocery store, my hair owww, my shoes to chew on, the cap to my water bottle, the trays from our sushi lunch, fuzz that was on the floor, the newspaper, napkins, the cat.

He's so undistractible, he knows the difference between toys and real things and he wants the real things. I've had to get really creative figuring out what real things are more or less baby safe to distract him with especially now that he's starting to creep around.

Aviva
post #443 of 535
thanks for sharing your dad's story Aviva. I know that my dad will make a full recovery- though I wouldn't be surprised if he has some residual weakness on the affected side. It's just hard to think of my DAD being unable to do things. And he's surely a typical male in that it's very difficult for him to be sitting around.
but the good news is that I bought a ticket there for next thursday and I feel imensly better because I know I need to SEE him and that him seeing us will be some excellent medicine. the tickets were $$$ at the end of the summer. oh well.

re: tantrums and "giving in". We used to live with a little boy who was 5. he was a screamer. everytime he screamed, his mom jumped and he got what he wanted. so what did he always do? scream. ack. and the 5 year old girl next door is the same. she's the youngest and only girl in her family and she HAS to get her way. she screamed and cried for about 15 minutes today- no kidding. top of the lungs screaming. turns out her brothers weren't letting her win a game. sigh.... I have a very hard time with both of these children.... and interestingly, both AP. so I guess what I'm saying is that kids need to learn how to deal with disappointment. I always tell my kids- It's ok to be angry/dissapointed/hurt... how you manifest those feelings is the real test.

we just got back from a nice swim at the river. Luka loves the water. it's so cold there but he didn;t care.
post #444 of 535
Thread Starter 
Aviva - I give Ori cheerios. One at a time, he can feed them to himself or just 'open wide'. He hasn't choked yet (knock wood). I think beca was about this old, too. Of course I'm not saying you SHOULD give J. them, just that if you think he's ready, it's not inappropriate (I think). Did you see us waving??? Well, I forgot until the very end and then Beca and I waved from the flat part of the stairs that cross the big street. We turned north (thanks to Jerry's sense of direction) and waved HELLO!!! Ori also gets the waterbottle with the lid screwed on, my hair when I'm not switched on (owwwww!), his own little robeez, and occasionally a little fuzz... You are a super mom!!!

Karen - thanks for the pic. I'll send him some in about 15 min (9:30 pm est). and I'll try for that time for the next week or so

for the toddler craziness. It's tough. I used to have to do it in breaks - like 15 minutes and then find a 10 minute distraction and that was almost half an hour! Like Noam, beca had some toys that would last for a while - then it was clsoer to an hour before the next bout...kwim?

So today was my first kinda lose it day with beca in a while. I'm totally pms'ing and I really needed a break when ori went down for his a.m. nap. I asked. 4 times. She just wouldn't leave me alone. Wouldn't find anything that she could do on her own. Yk, kids of ALL ages really need to know that mama will still be there to help them get stuff done. It's frustrating because I KNOW she can do some of this stuff, but she's just NEEDING me...but I need breaks too...sigh. So I kinda lost it and cried a bit and she cried a bit and I told her how awesome she's been lately and how much fun I've had, but that I REEEEEEEEALLY need a break for 15 minutes, could she PLEEEEEEEASE find something to do that doesn't need me. She did, but it was WORK to get there. whew.7 is much easier than 3 for that kind of stuff, but having a baby bring a lot of that old stuff up for her, I guess.

Ok, lots to do here. Best get going. I think there was more I wanted to say, but... Oh yeah - thanks for the opines on the pack. I actually took another look at the Kelty expedition and it's got great ratings in eopinion. So maybe... It's not that much cheaper but it does come with the hood and has WAY more storage (500 for the TT and 2700 for the Kelty w/a zip off pack) And it comes in purple

G'nite mamas!!! Andy
post #445 of 535
I'm so far behind here.

Lisa: glad you at least know what's wrong, even if you don't know why. Hope it turns out to be easy to treat!

No, I definately don't want a schedule thing. I had heard that NCSS was gentle and not "sleep training." Boo. Maybe Happiest Baby On The Block? Anyone read that?

LLL today was fun. There was a new baby, a 7 week old named Jade. I gave Jade's mom my old pouch sling. She's been holding her all the time and getting pretty worn out, didn't know about babywearing. I hope it works for her. The new baby from last time wasn't there. They're afraid they gave up. Mom sounded kinda unsure about stuff last time the Leader talked to her on the phone. Sad.

I do feel kind of out of place with this group. They're almost all Catholic homeschoolers, so they talk about that a lot. I can get into the hs discussions a little bit, but even though I'm interested in doing it, it's not relevant right now. And I'm not Catholic, so the religious discussion just doesn't interest me at all. Oh well. It's not so overt that I'm not going to go back or anything.

Wow, I was rather amazed at how fast a crawling 1-year-old goes. I don't really grok toddler development. It's going to hit me like a brick wall, I can tell already.

I can't get rid of my ants, either. My bathroom wall has these tiny ones crawling all over it. I stuck one of the max strength traps to the tile wall with double-sided tape. They're still running around it weeks later. I hate bugs!

Was it Makai with the moon thing? Maybe it has to do with astrology, born under a strong moon sign or something. I don't really know too much about it.

Uh oh, snoozing girl on the floor startin got wake. See ya later.
post #446 of 535
Quote:
Originally Posted by paquerette

Was it Makai with the moon thing? Maybe it has to do with astrology, born under a strong moon sign or something. I don't really know too much about it.
He was born on a full moon, now that I'm thinking about it...
post #447 of 535
Hi, Mamas!

Andy--purple? That thing for DH or YOU? :LOL I think the reason there are so many Kelties on eBay is that they're pretty ubiquitous; I'd never heard of that TT brand before. We have a Back Country and Summit (Summit is more vertically adjustable at the torso, but same hip belt and sacrum pad poofy thing) . If you're accustomed to wearing a backpack (as in, for backpacking, not for books), then it feels pretty alright, although I wish Kelty would get off their butts and make a women's specific design frame carrier. (But then they'd charge $100 more, just like everything else that's WSD. I hate that.)

Jeni--NCSS is not a "this is how you have to do it" kind of book. It's more like, IF you are having some problems with your babe's sleep, and IF you would like to fix those problems, then here are some ideas to try WITHOUT letting your baby CIO. Give them 10 days, she says, and then see if those ideas are helping you, then keep doing them. You can take some of her advice, and leave some of it, too. Even she admits that she doesn't necessarily do those things that people are "supposed to do" (like letting her baby nurse to sleep, or sleep in her lap while she works). It's a very nice read. It's like talking with the perfect MIL or something. She also explains some things (like, why does David wake up after 40 minutes EVERY nap?) to help parents understand what's going on in their babies' sleepy little brains. I recommend it.

Happiest Baby is more for parents of little babies (like, up to 3 mos.). So I think NCSS would help you a little more. She has a website (her name is Elizabeth Pantley), and she's written little articles here and there that you can find with Google, and that oughtta give you a taste of what her philosophies are.

You know, Karen, before you, I would have never thought to use the laptop in the bathroom. I love this. :LOL

Lisa, I wanted to KISS our GI on Monday. I love him, love him, love him. Nice to have a relationship now with somebody who GETS IT and doesn't think I'm crazy to be studying my babies' poo!

I had so much more to say, but I think I need to brush my teeth and get a move on. Whew. Sleep tight.
post #448 of 535
Hey Mamas

I read NCSS over the summer and found it had lots of good ideas. I haven't implemented any of it as we've got a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" kind of thing going on here, but I likd it quite a bit. She does seem to try to be rather fair minded about those who choose not to co-sleep, but clearly states that SHE did co-sleep and prefers it, even if it may lead to increased wakefulness at times.

I don't think of it at all as a sleep training book, and I don't remember coming away with a feeling that I'd have to alter our lifestyle all that much. (in as far as keeping a strict routine)
I did implement some of the ideas to ease our bedtime rituals with Tess, and it really did help more than I could have imagined.

I remember there was a whole section of the book dedicated to younger babies (4 months+), but I read it less intensively ... maybe I missed something.

I'm watching "Iron Chef" for the first time, and finding it HYSTERICAL!!
First, the whole introduction just cracked me up! It's *crazy* long and involved, going through each Chef's history like they're running for Public Office (only with greater detail and flourish!).... and the *very* serious, even STERN, voiceover ~ it's killing me! I'm trying so hard not to laugh (NEVER wake a teething-sleeping baby on your lap), and wondering if they're even serious... they sure look serious!

The super-master-chef-guy just rose out of the floor on some kind of elevator pedestal, complete with smoke and flashing lights....
Um, did they really just say "Bang the Gong, Get it On"??????? tee hee.

mmmmmmmmm the theme is chocolate.......

(*edited to add* they are now showing apple-peeling in slow motion.... oh. my. word.)

:LOL
post #449 of 535
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tigerpurring
Andy--purple? That thing for DH or YOU? :LOL
: but I guess I was wrong. It's blue. There's one on ebay that's kind of more denim'ey coloured, it looks purple in one pic. Anyway, it's blue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tigerpurring
Nice to have a relationship now with somebody who GETS IT and doesn't think I'm crazy to be studying my babies' poo!
Oh, but he DOES think you're crazy!!! Just as crazy as HE is :LOL Hope your bathroom time was productive, you crazy mama!!! You cracking me up (HA!!!)...I need sleep...

Um, why DOES David wake after 40 min? Ori does that too.

Annie - did Mak ever get his hearing tested at the ped? I don't like your ped (where's the kick ass smilie??). I don't think congenetive hearing probs are genetic, but it's possible there's something going on there. So what kinds of stuff have you made from the new cookbook - or not - for Kobe? how is he doing? Good luck tomorrow mama!!!

Lisa - I'm glad you've got something to work with now. Doesn't sound good...how did it get missed for 30 yrs?? Mine is nowhere near that consistent, but when it happens next time, I'm going to COUGH!!

I liked NCSS. I thought she had some good ideas. And her approach was non-invasive, which I appreciated. Not CHANGE EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING kind of thing. HBOTB was good for the first little while, but doesn't offer much for these bigger babies.

I read all the Avalon books. Clearly Mists was the best, but they all were kind of fun. Her other books are fun too - I loved the Theseus book, and some of the others were great reads...and some were kinda duds. Hard to know, yk?!

Karen - thanks for sharing about the schooling/unschooling that you do. I think you are a great mama, and your boys are very blessed to have such great parents

Ok, off to read and bed. Hope you all have a good afternoon and evening! Lots of hugs, andy
post #450 of 535
Kathy, Iron Chef is our most absolute favorite show! It's hilarious. We watch it almost every night. :LOL

Andy- Ooh, I've made lots of stuff from the book -thanks for asking! Made some yummy coconut/millet tapioca, granola bars, donuts, veggie loaf and some barley bread that wasn't in the book, but tasted like beer! We've been using the book on a daily basis, thanks so much for it. I it, you super sweet mama, you! Sounds like a rough day for you, especially after getting no sleep! Of course you need a moment (or 15) to recoup. here's to more sleep tonight.

Aviva, Japhet sounds like a little character! If you have time, we'd love to see pics of you guys Oh -totally understand if you aren't comfortable posting on the net, though.

So did you get any answers at the GI, Joyce? I would hope he is interested in poop -otherwise he's in the wrong line of work!
post #451 of 535
Happy 7 months Torin!

And hooray for the crawl Genevieve! Pam, the TP is easy. I hope your trader comes on-line again after the move! Hugs about the grody morning. Martin told me yesterday- "don't wear that shirt again tomorrow, when we just hugged you smelled like pee" Huh? Oooops.

Sounds like a yummy cake Sheri! And Iris is not doing food yet, but we put a bowl, spoons, and a cup out. Today I gave her a sippy cup with a water and she drank from it. With help, babes are quite good with cups. I was not trying to really get substance in her or anything, but she can drink form a cup I guess.

Jeni- on fussy sleep fighting try the homeopathic chamomile for babies, it's in the hylands teething tabs. When babes are over tired, arching away, that’s the perfect moment for chamomile. The teething tabs do the trick for Iris, but you can give them the tea even in a cup or bottle.

On pee pauses- we are being potty slackers. We've had two poopy dipes lately...after catching most in the potty it makes me feel bad that I'm not tuned in, and making her poop her pants.

The balloons sound fun Kathy. I guess you'll have to make the cake again with dark for grown ups, huh? And cool 'bout the starbucks. I'm interested in the jumpers, I think Iris would love one she such a jumper but I hear lots of moms say they seem unsafe. And Clean Sweep was my favorite show as I sat immobilized for the first three months postpartum- I always took comfort in seeing someone else with more crap and clutter than me, and then seeing it all organized in the end. I just bought a bunch of bins last week and was gratified in a clean sweep kinda way. Hilarious about the Krishna song!!Something very elemental and appealing in those sanskrit chants I guess!

Sorry KAia tapered off Michele. It must be soooo Hard! I have such compassion for you.


Oh, on my fundraiser- shipping is cheap. If its cool, for those that asked about stuff I'll stick a catalog in the mail...tiger, Andy, Karen, Andy, and Jessi. Anyone else, just ask. I feel bad for introducing the commercial vibe, here it was probably the wrong thing to do but am grateful if ya'll want to support the fundraiser.

Hi Jess, peekaboo I see you. My best friend from high school was a clean freak too, and I tried to live wither her in college. She wanted to have the bathroom cleaned every other day and would freak if there was a hair, even a just from a head, on the floor. I was thinking once every two months was fine...she moved out. That’s cool about I&R getting to have fun together.

I gotta check out the Unconditional Parenting book, I hadn't heard of it before.

Happy 6 months Luka! I’m sending good thoughts/prayer for your papa Karen! Must be so hard to feel happy he's doing well with a walker- dads are the strong ones, right? SO hard to watch our parents change! I hope you get there sooon. Your homeschool system sounds fun, I dream of doing things that way-get interesting in a subject and just following it around in a real interdisciplinary way. I know it must be tough, tough, too. And I will totally buy sweetened condensed milk to make Key lime pies (I have a tree) and the magic cookie bars with graham crackers, coconut, and choc chips. They are my childhood favorite!

Kindergarten already, wow! Pretty crazy starting on s Friday but I bet it's nice to get a break after meeting everyone. I remember my first day of kindergarten. Sounds like a super cool school, great to get the Japanese and Hawaiian! And Violets crawling? Wow, thats so exciting. Iris is pushing with her feet lots. Sorry bout the neighborhood rabble-rouser causing a ruckus. So Violet is going to OT- what is the official deal? Can she hear or not, did I miss something? And ha ha on the 3 yo s being OCD!

And I'm with you all in the heat- Florida summers are super hot and humid. And we are the lightening strike capital of the world, so the afternoon summer rains roll in about 3pm and we get a dark purple black sky a and sudden down pour. The scrub pines looks so beautiful, like yellow green, against a stormy sky that’s about to let loose, and the intensity of the storms is so satisfying. I feel out of rhythm with the year if I am not here this time of year...I love the summer rain it makes it really friggin' humid, though. Iris cooks when we get in the car. the Ac is not powerful enough to cool her well...

And for Annie and Pam, I was just reading the old mothering that had the baby signs article, that teaching signs improves their language skills by helping them conceptualize. Plus, then they don't get so frustrated if they are speaking unintelligibly.... maybe that would help a bit.

Glad Megan's Eval went mostly well. AMAZING~AMAZING she was 25 weeks. Aren't you so grateful she’s so normal and healthy now. I hope that some of that trauma is a memory now that she’s a big healthy fun girl. That is something you should be proud of, preemies esp need breast milk, and the docs are right, you deserve an award. I've been saying that for a long time!

And Will is sitting up, like getting up, himself? Wow! I can't imagine how you would get much done at work at this stage, Iris came and did some prenatals appointments with me and I just had to pass her off to the administrator at times when she was fussy. I was just having to ignore she was mad and gee ton with it. I was finally able to get one of the midwives to finish my visit/ do the physical so I could go be with her. The days of doing the occ prenatal visit with babe on my lap are numbered. She’s more energy now. too bad about the dipes, though.

And, there's a great response to the BBC article on the circ thread, I knew someone would have smart answer. There was a link form the south African gov't basically saying it's not often being done as a rite of passage by the men folk, but boys sneak off and get it done to be cool and gain status...so its often done by shysters out to make a buck, and they harm the boys, cause infections, and likely would transmit problems with unclean instruments and stuff. Plus it doesn't prevent HIV very well, just reduces risk to men somewhat. SO they still need the same amount of education and other protection as if they had a whole penis so why bother? Apparently the study was done by Americans and overlooks the safety/ cultural context concerns that play into it in South Africa.

Paq, did you get to meet the Mayalicious one?

Andy, I know about that weight stuff....I am with in 10-15lbs of my prepregnant weight but I had an extra 20 on before I got pregnant, so the PP weight makes it over the top. Not being mobile, and having pain on my body has made exercising hard. By the way, on the reiki, I meant to say thanks for sending some to me way back. You can do that again, now I'm on a healing path again. Glad the sans a wheat is making a difference for Beca. Its not so hard once you get into the groove.

Thinking of skinny kids, I saw a client that had a babe in Nov at whole foods. She was not able to nurse, I don't know the details but the mama looked so traumatized by not being able to feed her babe. Her daughter is having trouble gaining weight, she looks skinny and is 15 lbs at about 9 months. I wish I had been able to help more...or she'd been in a group like this, able to do what Michelle and Laura have done.

Aviva, the goats sound fun. We don't have a pet so Iris gets excited to see doggies and stuff. You might try the homeopathics for Japhet when he's fussy like that- chamomile rocks!

Tiger, glad you found a good doc that can appreciate the poo-gazing. I like NCSS too, just good info. Main thing for our age group I got was to get them to sleep without nursing at least every now and then.

Lisa, did the school system get straight on your plan? You are not going to work this year right? My sister is just starting a job as a special ed teacher, a career change. She's been a GIS person for the county, in administrative hell. She will work in a Title 1 school that's 85% spanish speaking migrant farm workers. She has minimal Spanish, like form high school. Her class will be 8-12 special needs kids across a few grades in elementary school. It should be interesting. She's making her bulletin boards this week. So do you know why you got this heart thing and anything about what you Dx really means in the short term, is it anxiety and stress related, something some aerobic exercise can fix?

I had a craniosacral session this weekend with a really good energetic healer woman. She really brought me into my body. When we were at the neurologist last week, he asked what my symptoms were and I said from waking, I can feel and am aware of my back form l-5 down to my toes. he asked what aware meant, and martin said pain...I hesitated and he reminded me that he hears me scuffling around going Ow, ow all day. So I had just gotten used to the pain so much it just seems like awareness now. After the craniosacral it felt like pain. She felt I had cut off from the lowe part of my body to get away from the pain, and that it was giving me less healing power. The work she did was sooooo powerful, I finally cried, and got aware how freakin' traumatizing the experience was for me. She said it was like I was violated, I had this real raw spot. Anyway, I didn't know what to expect form craniosacral, but I laid there and breathed and she sensed energy and we moved it around. It was amazing to be able to dialogue with someone about what I was doing internally....she said breathe energy into the Lower part of your body, and I did and we both felt a rush and she said "that was fast". The experience was otherworldy. I had flashbacks of the evil doctor and imagined him telling me how beautiful my uterus and imagined him expressing the gratitude for being in my most inner part... I imagined he approached it as though hit was sacred...and I was feeling utterly grateful to my uterus for growing such a lovely baby, rather than seeing it as traumatized by being cut open and permanently flawed by the scar.... it was deeply personal but so profound I thought I'd share some. She also said she thought that it was an archetypical kind of event- the midwife vs. the obstetrician, like 3000 years of the patriarchy vs. the goddess.

I saw a L&D nurse at the chiro today and told her who the doc was I had., With out saying a word her eyes got fiery and she said HE IS EVIL. It's weird, but thats how we felt when I transferred...he seriously dripped a creepy evil vibe. She used all those same words. She said he is creepy and evil and does it all with a smile on his face. She said he has literally asked a woman for her credit card while on the table getting a c-section, saying I can do a tummy tuck while we're at it if you pay up now.....Ugh...this man cut my reproductive organs!!! In case anyone missed it, I had a very conservative homebirth transfer and when we got the hospital the doc basically said you even tried a homebirth that’s so dangerous I am doing a section so I can cover my as, no way around it. Then he lied in my records, too. What a prick. It was nice to hear that the L&D nurses hate him too. She confirmed that my back up doc stopped working with him after that, and so did another doc. I called the hospital to complain this week too...I was thinking it was too late, but I was too traumatized before to do it. The woman I spoke with mad audible gasps of horror when I told her some of the things he said to me, and told me to get it all down in writing "so we can trend these things, if you know what I am saying..." "and put in all the hearsay about who he is in the community, that needs to be heard, you know lots of people and they need to hear that from you" She said there is a physician discipline committee and he will get dealt with. It hard for me to write the story though.

I also called a midwife room out of town to process me. I noticed I was holding the story; cause part of it is disappointment with my midwives, who are covering my job and are my best friends. SO it feels good to have someone else to talk to. I was just getting all PTSD about it, thinking about it and getting pissed/ freaked/sad every day during Iris's nap so I thought I needed to find someone to talk to.

Plus, I went and got my MRI and it was read today. Being in the chamber I was able to remember contractions for the firs time since Labor- being in an isolated space reminded me of being in my body alone..It was kinda nice to be able to access the experience. Anyway, I really like the neurologist, he's not holistic but he’s good. He said I have spinal stenos is and a bulging disk at l-4/L-5. Basically I was really weak after the c-section and made me prone to a back injury, I think it happened about 3 days after. I have script for physical therapy for 6 weeks, and he said I might consider surgery. In his dreams. That’s what got me into this mess. I am going on a real healing path. I am making a plan.

I am - engaging a acupuncturist to improve my chi/reattach my severed meridians and make me whole in an energetic way.

Seeing the chiropractor 3 times week (thanks for the trade, glad they want a large family!)He gave me positions and a few exercises.

I have the RX for 6 weeks of physical therapy; hope to strengthen my abs so it takes the pressure off my back. The good ones are not covered by my insurance, I hope I can find someone decent on the plan.

And I've been writing in my journal for the firs time in forever.

The midwife I am talking to is going to join with me to get to the bottom of it. It's a huge story, full of emotional and physical pain and terrible circumstances, and I think it will hold the key to transforming some HUGE things in my life that don't work if I can find my way thought the trauma, pain, and what not. Plus maybe asshole doc will be exposed as the danger to women he is.

On a sunnier note, I interviewed a midwfe this week ,and offered her the full time job for next year, I'll do the aprt time one and we would be a team. I am waiting to hear fom her, and we need to draw up the details, but it seems like a good fit and she could start soon so I could train her well before the other midwfe leaves in Dec. As soon as we have new good energy in the system, we get more clinets. I think she’s gonna take the job because the day after she was here, we had 4!!! people call who were 28-32 weeks and wanted to transfer to us. Seriously, if things are cool, and we can handle it, we get busy – if its chaotic or we feel stressed the load of clients is always naturally lower.

SO, that was a long freakin post. And I hope you al get cards from me!

Nite'
Heidi
post #452 of 535
gosh Heidi- that was looooong. I guess you just store up all of your chatalicious energy for your late night postings, while someone like me posts all day long.
to you. what a journey you are on. I'm so happy to hear that you are on a healing quest. It's awesome that you're able to bring together so many different therapies. CST is so great.... I'm glad it was so transformative. I think of all of the different things I've done, I've had the most "success" with CST. I attended a CST workshop a few years ago that was taught by a chiro- the workshop was amazing (and part of it was geared towards mw and doulas) and transformative. I always dreamed I would be a CST/mw all at once. maybe someday... when the kids are older....
I am also so happy to hear that you wrote and complained about that doc. unless people like you speak up, then he will continue to mistreat mamas. not ok.
Oh, and I'd love a catalog. the website is hard to manage, for some reason.

Andy- silly you for wanting 15 minutes alone I think I finally have my boys "trained" to understand my need for alone time sometimes. it's dh who doesn't always listen (esp when I say "I'm in a bad mood, I need my space" for some reason he thinks that's an excellent time to make fun of me or something

oh... while writing this I had to go back and nurse Luka again (for his usual get to sleep at night multiple nursings/ swinging). He chomped down on my nipple (read bite) with that new razor sharp tooth. I got mad because it HURT, and I quietly told him that it was NOT ok (in my mad tone) and the poor thing cried and cried. he's so sensitive. unlike the other kids, I don't think that just pulling him off will work. he's just not enamored with the breast as they were.
it's 10 and about the time I need to crawl in bed.
post #453 of 535
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malama
it's dh who doesn't always listen (esp when I say "I'm in a bad mood, I need my space" for some reason he thinks that's an excellent time to make fun of me or something
hee hee... are you sure we're not married to the same man?? I so rarely see mine these days, that it's quite possible....
This gave me a great, early morning giggle :LOL

Hey Karen, you know I don't think I've ever appreciated how dramatic the time difference is between here & Hawaii! Your post came up at 3am on my computer, and you mention in your post it's 10pm.... Wow! I figured 3 hours difference... *maybe* 4.... Wow, again! So right now it's only 2 am there. It's kind of funny, because when you'd post at eleven o'clock or noon saying you just got up, I kind of wondered if you were a rather snoozy Susie in the morning! :LOL

Holy Post, Heidi!! We don't hear from you often, but when we do we get a treat! I love your late night ramblings Good for you, all of the stuff you're doing with healing. I see so often that my friends will sweep it under the rug and it becomes a lot harder, it seems, to deal with later on. I have a good friend who is due in September and is having quite a lot of anxiety about birth ~ she feels like she was prepared/well read/positive frame of mind for their first birth (a planned homebirth which resulted in a moderate intervention hospital birth) and she is going through a lot right now as she looks ahead a couple of months at their home birth. She's experiencing a lot of mental barriers, and seeking ways to feel more open about birth again ~ less self-doubting.

Chamomile - we use the 30's (the little round balls??) and they seem to work GREAT for Brynn and teething. I give her two at a time, maybe twice a day on her *hard* teething days. Is this an ok dose? The bottle has 3 "balls", then says that children are 1/2 the dosage of adults.... without mentioning whether the "3" dose mentioned is for children or adults. : So I went with two, and thought that was a good balance between the two. Anyone else using this?

Hmmm... I am thinking that someone may have asked about the Cake recipe that we made for T's birthday... This Mama's memory ain't what it used to be.... ain't what it used to be.... ain't what it used to be.....
I'll post it later this morning.

I had crazy dreams last night ~ lots of anxious situations. One, we were being hit from every direction by tornadoes. They didn't actually *HIT* the house, but I could feel the house move and lots of wind as they passed, and looking out the window was a horror show of black funnels.... Then I dreamed (is that a word??? looks wierd...) that T & B and I were walking to our car, and we got mugged by this gang of men who stole, of all things, Brynn's car seat!!! (OK, in the light of day, this is kind of funny... :LOL) I was hysterical, and ended up buying it back from them for $40. Then, while driving home, there was a wild pack of dogs attacking pedestrians who were, oddly enough, running away from tornadoes.... CRAZY dreams!!!! :

Baby Signing ~ we saw this as being *fantastic* with Tess, and began with Brynn pretty much from day 1 with signing "milk" and "mama". It's super simple and amazing to see how even infants respond to it and begin to sign. I have no doubt that it helped tremendously with Tessa's verbal abilities. She's quite amazing and a fun little chatterbox

Speaking of whom, guess who's up??
post #454 of 535
Heidi I would love to get a catalog also. I have to agree with Karen that the website was confusing. Plus I like to do my shopping in the toilet :

Karen you sound not so down now that you've got your tickets. It must be a relief knowing that you're going to see your dad soon.

Annie, is Makai having hearing problems? Did I miss that somewhere?

My allergies are out of control lately. I'm allergic to cats, but up until lately it's been very mild. But now if the cats sleep in the bed I wake up wheezing and my eyes have been all swollen, runny and itchy. We're dog sitting again and I don't know if it because the dog lives with a cat but it appears I'm allergic to her too I'm miserable my heads all cloudy. I just don't know what I can do, besides getting rid of the cats, which I wouldn't do.

I'm so behind here. I've been busy with ds and trying to find a place to live
post #455 of 535
Kathy what was with all those dreams, weird. We use the camilia by boiron for teething, its a liquid it has 5C belladonna0; 9C chamomilla; 5C ferrum phosphoricum. They work pretty good, the only thing tht I don't like about them is that they come in single doses in a plastic tube : all the plastic seems wasteful
post #456 of 535
Grand sleep total in the last 24 hours:

1 1/2 hour nap at LLL yesterday.
7 hours of sleep last night

3 hylands teething tabs, in the swing, still nothing. I don't know how she's functioning. I don't know how I'm functioning. I can't deal with her right now without screaming at her. I made her cry twice this morning, once for yelling at her to go to sleep, once for yelling when she kicked me in the boob. She gets so close to sleep and then she just pops back up all of a sudden and tries to crawl away. I don't think there's anything in the world that can make this baby sleep.
post #457 of 535
Jeni

Ok, can I say this? I am worried about you, Mama.... REALLY worried. I have to say that I'm also worried for Bea. : I *know* you love her. You sound exhausted, and it's got to be so hard to deal with the lack of sleep and the baby fussies combined. I think that it's important to look at what your reactions have been along a continuum ~ feeling frustrated, exhausted, drained is so normal. Needing to put her down for a moment to walk away, I think is normal. I think, though, that some of what you've described goes beyond that. The feeling like she hates you, or not being able to cope at all without screaming at her ~ I think these are warning signs. Who can you go to for help? You sound like you are going through some very intense depression. Do you have a trusted doctor? I think, as Mamas, we tend to think we'll just try harder ~ like it's a defecit in US if we can't cope. Sometimes there are things beyond our control. They don't make us bad people or bad Mamas, we just need to give ourselves the permission to get help.I hope I haven't completely offended you, but if I were in your position, I would want my friends to respect me enough to tell me the truth, not me polite or sugar coat it. Again, I'm sorry if I'm overstepping. I really care about you and Bea ~ we're like a little family here. Please feel welcome to PM /email me if I can help at all.
post #458 of 535
Just a quick post to Jeni:

You two ladies sound totally fried. I understand how trying to get babies to sleep can be really frustrating. Some days, between C&D, that's all I feel like I've done, is try to persuade somebody to PLEEEEAAAASE take a nap because I know they're so tired. I'm going to throw some ideas at you to get you through today--let me know if any works. The sooner the two of you can get a couple of really restful days in, the easier Bea will be to work with, and the better you'll be able to work with her.

1) Get out of the house NOW. I know it's a pain, and I hope you have the car today, but Bea needs her "reset" button pressed. Take her somewhere different where you can walk, walk, walk with her. Remember that she has a lot of stuff going on in her brain, and might be feeling kinda like she has ADD--her mind is jumping from one activity to the next. She doesn't know what she wants, except that she wants everything! She's made this huge mental leap in her brain, and the rest of her--her sleep schedule, her emotional stuff--is running hard to catch up. The movement of the walking can help her calm down and organize her thoughts. Before she's totally tired and fried, bring her back home for a snack and a nap.
2) White noise (radio static, a fan) or constant, steady music while she sleeps. Turn it on before she falls asleep, not super quiet, just loud enough to get her attention. The white noise drowns out the sounds around the house, and again, like the motion, is organizing to her. Do ever work better when you have some music or sound going on in the background?
3) Rock or bounce or do whatever it is you do. If she gives you some resistance, don't stop right away. Be steady and let her know that you are trying to help her relax. If she still gives you resistance, and gets downright mad, don't fight her. Do something else relaxing and soothing, then, if you need to, try again. Don't let her play with her toys or put her in her play place, necessarily, but maybe let her lay down and roll around in bed, or nurse, before trying again. if she gets angry or frustrated, and if you get frustrated, it will be even harder for the two of you to relax (and for her to nap). Yesterday Carmen gave me a really hard time, but the second I switched rocking chairs, and changed my attitude to resignation from "you're going to sleep right now, dammit!", she fell asleep!
4) Darken up the room. This girl is waking up to the world in a big way. The better you can help her ease off on her distractions, the more easily she can sleep.
5) When she falls asleep, you take a nap too, mama! You're tired!
6) Don't hesitate to let her fall asleep in the swing. If that's what it takes, then that's what it takes. Six months ago I would have hated myself for doing it, but lately Carmen has napped a couple of great naps in the swing. HOWEVER, I have to "help" the magic of the swing to make it work. I had to change the position of the swing so that it wasn't looking out at anything too exciting. I had to make sure it was in a dim spot in the room. And I had to turn on some white noise to drown out the rest of the house. And most important, and the one I hate the most, is that I had to leave the room. Carmen wants to talk and talk and talk. If I leave the room, she talks herself to sleep. I don't go far, just into the next room, and if she complains I listen to her complaining. If she starts to cry or feel sad, I assure her that I have been right in the next room all along, and rescue her. If she's just blowing bubbles, and talking to herself about how she is NOT tired, I let her talk, and then, poof, like somebody flicked a switch, she is out.

Babies are weird. The more tired they are, the harder they are to get to sleep. At the same time, if they don't feel tired and fulfilled, they won't sleep, either! I have a lot better naps in the morning this week after we introduced the baby swimming pool and a good roll around a blanket on the grass. An hour of that, and socializing with the neighborhood people that are around, and the babies are much more likely to go down. They're growing and changing, and just a regular morning of "same ol', same ol'" isn't doing the trick anymore.

Think like a daycare. :LOL Being stuck home is hard (I know, because I'm stuck at home a lot of days, because one baby or the other isn't cooperating with the "schedule"), so you're going to have to do what you can to keep changing things up and keeping her busy, busy, busy! Maybe when you start solids, I wonder she might get a little easier for you. Not that she'll be more full, but that she'll feel *fulfilled* after a good morning of doing something new (like getting peas in her hair, feeling them gush between her fingers, etc, tasting new stuff). Having an hour or half-hour of music and dancing to change things up might help, too, in making her feel like she's done something interesting and fulfilling for the day.

Okay. I feel stupid giving advice because not like I have tons of experience with kids, but I guess I feel for you, and I sometimes have days like you do, and am sad that you have to work them out on your own. I am also sad that Bea frustrates you so much. I know that part of it is because she is acting frustrating, but I think part of it is that you seem physically and emotionally very drained, and that affects how you perceive her baby antics. Bea is a precious baby, and I enjoy hearing from you and you sound like such a cool person, I really wish that you could be enjoying this process so much more. But how do we help you do that?

Okay, I need to go. Did this help you at ALL? We have an appointment ina few minutes and I need to finish my work before we go.

(Heidi, all this time with a sublux. disk? Ow, ow, ow! You are even more amazing and tough than we all thought! Please let us know how we can help you feel BETTER!)
post #459 of 535
I second Miss Alabama!

Okay, now I'm leaving, really.
post #460 of 535
Holy posts batman :LOL

Jeni I too am concerned for you. It really sounds like you need a break, sleep, rest, help, all of the above. I know when I get tired, I hate the way I feel and the way I snap at my kids. Being tired can make you into a different person. I really think that if you are stressed that the baby can sense it and therefore the cycle just goes around for the both of you. The others already have given such great advice for you. :HUGS

Thanks for that list Karen (or was it Annie?) eeks, anyhow thanks! I know this is an area I've been trying to improve on with K. I hate saying no all the time and don't. Just being so negative all the time. I was nursing Megan yesterday and she was finally calmed, then K had to have a fit for something and I was trying to tell her I am busy feeding Megan and she just stood there and cried forever. So I'm like can you please get your blankie and go calm down (just saying it not thinking she would do it) Low and behold she did! yikes I was shocked. She layed down and said Kaitlyn calm down and she did. Wow!

Megan's therapist was over this morning and she gave me some ideas to help with her muscle tone. She doesn't think it could be a problem w/her hips. Think I might give it a month before I get the xrays and see how she does.

Megan actually just feel asleep all on her own without me holding her! woohoo thats a first.
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