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Janulicious July #3 - Page 25

post #481 of 535
Thread Starter 
CHICAGO??? Um, a little more info, please?! LOL on the kitchen scene Lisa. I actually thought you were tie dyeiung the KITCHEN - like the wall paper or something. I need some sleep. :LOL Sounds like a pretty good party going there. Chicago, btw, is even further. (but closer to Jessi and Jess)

Ok - reiki sent to two people. I'll do some on my midnight nurse for you Lisa - you'll appreciate that, eh!? I sort of doubt I can keep up with all this for very long, though. I am in a mild funky place right now myself. I am hating my body. I don't fit my clothes. I don't like my face. I don't want to swim and be in public. I don't love myself very much right now. It's only ONE part of me, and I AM a complex person (thank god for THAT, EH?), but it's so hard to stay positive when it's just not right... I do really love myself, I've done so much healing there over the past 10 yrs., and I feel secure, I just want to start feeling like this is my body again. I'm even willing to share it with Orin for a while longer, like another 2 yrs. if he wants, but I've GOT to stop looking like a balloon. I'm normally 5'7" and about 140lbs. I'd take 160 right now and be HAPPY! I can hide some weight really well, actually. I'd just like to be able to wear a size 14 comfortably again. This barely fitting into 16's is driving me NUTS!!! This isn't really about size, for the big mamas of this group. I am NOT size biased at all. And I never look at anyone ELSE and think they should lose or gain or whatever (though sometimes I wonder why they would choose to wear those clothes LOL). ANYWAY, doing 3 reiki's a night is a lot, so I will start to rotate some, and do one every night, if that's ok.Karen, I felt your dad really open through his sternum tonight. I sent him a LOT of reiki, whereas the past few nights I've spent a lot of time opening the pathway to him. Tonight he was very open and receiving. I hope it's a really good sign!!!

Heidi - what an incredible journey you are on. I really admire your ability to walk the talk. It's such a hard road, really, and you are working SO hard on it - I'm sure you will be feeling a lot of stuff about it all. I'm so glad you feel you can share with us. It's a great way for me to reflect on where I'm at, reading where you have traveled. Congratulations on getting something happening at the hospital!! That's a BRUTAL battle! It's great that you know some other people w/in the system there that may be able to provide some back up. Whew!! Not going it alone makes that part of the journey somewhat less fraught with emotion, I'd say. Keep on rockin, mama!!! You are doing SO WELL!!! finding someone else to listen in the mw role was a breakthrough, I'd say. I did some of that w/ the mw's that we worked with birthing Orin. They were the most amazing people... for a gift I gave them a box of tea and a new mug...I think I'm still looking for what inspires me to consume for them. They are very low end consumers (they are your happy freeccycler picker-upper LOL). SO, long story short - keep it up. And keep us in the loop. We all want to support you in whatever ways we can. And please, send the catalog!! Just one will do...

Ok, I'm beat. I'll see ya'll tomorrow!!! Happy pm's to all and to all a happyp.m.
post #482 of 535
Luka took 4 naps today but then he fussed and fussed all through dinner and so I nursed him to sleep at 7:30 woke again at 8 (normal for him) but wouildn't nurse back to sleep. now he's practicing crawling on the bed- half of the time chewing on his thumb- likely another tooth is coming. poor baby. teeth hurt.

hey Andy- by ALL means take time for yourself!!!! I certainly appreciate the reiki to my papa, but only as it's OK for you. He sounded in very good spirits when I spoke to him tonight. He'd been having issues with low bp (he has hypertension and takes meds for it), and hasn't been feeling well. bnut they took him off the meds and he's "exercising", i.e. pt.
I sooo hear you on the body image issues. it's not a matter of how you measure up to others, but how you feel yourself. I won't say what my size is, because it's relatively small, but the point is that it's bigger than what I've been for years, none of my clothes fit, and I don't feel like myself completely. it's not a good feeling. I put so many clothes away but I still have tons sitting here in my drawers and closet that are waaay to tight or don't even make it past my thighs (which my grandma from Czechoslovakia calls "tights":LOL)
Anyhow... point of all that? I can relate and take care of yourself mama.

Michelle- what do your mama instincts tell you about how Kaia's doing? she sounds fabulous to me (us!), but thenonly you know. I know your confidence was sadly shaken early on.... we all just wann do what's right for our little ones, eh?

what will I do with this baby? the rest of the males are gone. R and papa at the movies and N at a sleep-over. oh.... he's acting tired. I think we'll go out on the lanai to the swing. it's great for putting him to sleep. I've been listening to a great story on tape and am so relaxed about how long it takes to swing him down when I'm engaged in the story with my headphones on (or one on, anyways). I still manage to hum to him while doing it.
oooh, throwing head back. definitely time to sleep
good night
post #483 of 535
Morning Mamas

Well I've had QUITE the morning. Treated to my first spider bite in the South, y'all .... man, it hurts!!! I threw a big comforter on the floor of our laundry shed (just outside the back door, attached to the house but separate) the other day.... stoooooopid move. Then today I stepped on it when I was doing laundry ( ) and OUCH!!! I know it wasn't a black widow ~ it was brown (saw the little bugger before he booted it outta there) and I *think* too small for a brown recluse (unless it was a baby). Well, looking online, there are 50+ aggressive, venomous spiders that don't cause major damage but hurt.... yup, a LOT!!! Wowzers. So I'm in spider-bite-watch mode the next day or so.

Karen, your night sounds peaceful I like the idea of listening to a book on tape! It helps so much to have something you like doing while waiting for these bambinos to drift off ~ I learned that with Tess when I would "fakey sleep" while she'd nurse... and nurse... and nurse.... it drove me BONKERS!!! Now I read, although with Brynn that doesn't work so well ~ Miss Busy Fingers tries to take the book! Luckily, she tends to just go to sleep most nights.
I think you describe how I feel re: the whole weight/size issue. I know that most people are annoyed or p'sha! me when I mention that I'm not that comfortable with how fit I am. It's not about the # on the scale or dress size, it's how I *feel*. Fitness is the biggest part, for me. I am so keen on getting back in tone ~ to feel in my own skin again.

Miss B says NO MORE TYPING!! Off I go.
post #484 of 535
Thread Starter 
Kathy - you actually do inspire me... you are SO active with those two girls. Yesterdays 'walk' was like 3 1/2 miles and I jogged about 15- 20% of it. I felt so good when I got home, although today I am SORE! Maybe some yoga is in order for today I'd love to swim but I got AF and she's heavy I don't love swimming even on a good day. It's not encouraging. Besides, I hate tampons. Oh well. Maybe I'll do some tramp jumping today. I feel exhausted after a good 15 or 20 minute jump session.

Karen - thanks Usually it feels really good to send Reiki, and it does even when I have to kind of 'motivate' myself to do it...yk, thinking about someone OTHER than me for a minute. It's sort of like volunteering - makes me feel better even when I don't think it will

Yeah, this whole body image thing sucks. I tried really hard last time to lose weight - gave up everything but the junk food! So this time I'm seriously going to get down with myself and eat well, exersize daily (even if it;s just sit-ups), and really try to make myself FEEL good. The rest in time, I figure (bad pun).

Tme to make rice-flour pancakes. We made the BEST cookies yesterday! If anyone wants the recipe, it's easy enough. No wheat, no dairy, no soy. Caio!! Andy
post #485 of 535
G'morning mamas!

I was going to go start a new thread since we're at 25 pages, but then I realized it's almost Aug. and it'll wait.

Andy, I totally forgot about asking you to do that... and so far this morning I haven't pitter pattered very much at all. Amazing But yah, like Karen said, focus on you first.

Chicago - well I was on the phone w/dh the other day while he was in LA and he says bossman has been working on a major project with the city of Chi (boss is in Chi, guys are all over the country) and that he'd rather move the guys from Cleveland to Chi than hire new guys in Chi for the job. Since the Cleveland job is steady income to the company, he'd hire some new guys here on a contract basis - as long as the NASA work was there, they had jobs, if the contract goes, no job kind of thing.

SO he wants to move us and another family out there. The 3rd guy in Cleve. moved out there last year. I told dh I'd go, seeing as my entire life has been spent in Ohio and it sucks here! Dh says it's not where he wants to move forever, but it's a nice step on the way to somewhere west of here. And it's $39 for a flight or a 6 hr drive to see our families, not so bad. So we'll see. It only happens if the city of Chi contract is finalized and then we have to figure out how to move.. I'm guessing maybe in the spring?

Got a baby shower today, dyed the mama 8 prefolds and got her a cover, but of course since I was out of town I'm way behind, the dipes are just rinsing now and I have to dry them and wrap the gift in the next 90 min.

Shower time

Lisa
post #486 of 535
Thread Starter 
Yay Lisa! I'll send some more tonight. Maybe we can load you up and get the pattern into a good place, yk, and it'll stay for a while... one can hope, eh?! Sounds like a great mamasprinkle giftie brewing in your kitchen there

OUCH on the spidey bite Kathy. OUCH OUCH OUCH!!! I hate spider bites. I usually use a comfrey, garlic and parsley compress with almond oil. Just to soothe it and draw out the itchie/ouchie stuff. I hope it is ok :

Off to do some (gag) shopping. Bye! Oh, have any of us bought title nine bras? Are they to size?
post #487 of 535
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabeca
I am hating my body. I don't fit my clothes. I don't like my face. I don't want to swim and be in public. I don't love myself very much right now. It's only ONE part of me, and I AM a complex person (thank god for THAT, EH?), but it's so hard to stay positive when it's just not right... I do really love myself, I've done so much healing there over the past 10 yrs., and I feel secure, I just want to start feeling like this is my body again. I'm even willing to share it with Orin for a while longer, like another 2 yrs. if he wants, but I've GOT to stop looking like a balloon. I'm normally 5'7" and about 140lbs. I'd take 160 right now and be HAPPY! I can hide some weight really well, actually. I'd just like to be able to wear a size 14 comfortably again. This barely fitting into 16's is driving me NUTS!!! This isn't really about size, for the big mamas of this group. I am NOT size biased at all. And I never look at anyone ELSE and think they should lose or gain or whatever
Sounds lso much like me. I vacilate between being determined to lose some weight by eating healthy, not "dieting". Then I find myself stressed out and eating chocolate 6 days out of 7. I know that eating treats in and of itself is NOT a bad thing...but I do it so often. So, I never lose the 30some pounds I want to. And then I think: F it! There is nothing wrong with the way I look. Society has just skewed my body image. But then I glimps myself in the mirror and the cycle starts over again.

I really worry sometimes because i am a mama to two girls, and I don't want them to model dieting/image obsessed behavior from me. But it is churning under the surface all the time. bah!
post #488 of 535
I'm stressed about my weight too, but I KNOW I can't do anything about it right now.

Karen, I can't hear my instincts over the clamor of fear. I can't decide if I'm just scared or if my obsession with wanting to EBF is making me see good signs where there aren't any. I know when Kaia is gaining well, she has 12-16 wets a day, not 8-12. And she still won't poop. I just don't know.

Kathy, as far as the spider bite goes, plantain is a common weed all over the US. It is easy to identify, and is the best thing to draw out poison from bites and stings. Every mama should know it. Pick a leaf, chew it up and spit the macerated pulp back out on the bite. It grows in lawns in parks and playgrounds and is something quick you can do to ease a bee sting. There are 2 varieties, one longer and skinnier than the one in the link and both work well.
post #489 of 535
ooh Kathy- sorry to hear about the spider bite- I agree, they're nasty. Have you put any baking soda on it? it can help draw out the venom too. Interestingly my dad was telling me that when the paramedics came to get him from his house, they asked if he had been bitten by a spider-- I guess the symtpms can mimic a stroke??

and no, my evening did not turn out to be peaceful. Luka stayed up way late. the boys came home and he was still up. I didn't get to sleep until after 11. then I woke up at midnight and found myself furiously scratching my thighs- like rip skin off scratching. so i got up, put on some cream, and took one of these darned antihistamines that the doc gave me. they work,but I woke up with a serious hangover and could barely open my eyes from it. :

lisa- the move sounds like it could be good... but bummer to move away from your super supportive folks. it's always fun to try something different anyways.

body image YUCK. I HATE that it's even an issue for us. I'd be happy though to be where I used to be before Luka, eventhough that wasn't perfect either. yeah. how hard not to pass on this crap to daughters....

Luka needs me
post #490 of 535
Wow, Michelle thanks! I was hoping you might pop on today and have an idea We have a veritable jungle in our backyard, so I'm going to go poking around for some plantain (& hopefully NOT come out with another spider bite... :LOL)
post #491 of 535
Andy I hear you on the body image thing. I think the thing that bothers me the most the the chunk of flabby fat that hangs down ove the top of my undies I just try not to think about it. At least our babes are small so everyone thinks they're younger, so that the "I just had a baby" excuse still works
Char I worry about the whole dieting/thinness obsessed thing now too. I do not want to passthat on to Miss E, things are so much easier with boys.

We've got to go food shopping. We're out of water, have a tablespoon (maybe) of milk, no eggs, nothing but milk (yuck) to drink and only an artichoke for veggies. So we're oing to go to tj than the regualr grocery.

Jeni I hope you're feeling better today
post #492 of 535
Kathy, look IN the lawn and around leaky hoses/faucets. That is where I find it.
post #493 of 535
Kathy- ouchie on spider bite, eeks!
Thanks for that tip Michelle

Lisa- Chicago sounds better than Ohio. But yeah moving from family is tough but you wouldn't be too far. Larry lived in Chicago for awhile and we are hopefully heading out there next summer! Hey maybe we could meet up if you are there

Body image- yeah I used to have big hang ups about it. I weighed in at 155 in junior high and was wearing a size 16 back then It's taking me a long time to accept who I am and what I look like. I still want to lose more weight and get in better shape just for health reasons and hoping it will physcially make me feel better. I am now down to 151, my lowest since before junior high!! I hope to instill on my girls a confidence about their appearance no matter what they look like and that being a barbie sized figure isn't necessary.
post #494 of 535
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpeasmom
being a barbie sized figure isn't necessary.
HA! Yes. This is SO true. AND for whatever reason, she IS a barbie sized figure right now... but I was back then, too. SO - I think that Mar actually hit it on the head for me. It's a circular problem for me that is all about IMAGE and it's almost all in my head. When I SEE myself, it isn't the MYSELF that I think of as myself. So seeing this OTHER myself brings up a bunch of emotions like failure, guilt, self-hatred (well, not THAT bad, but dislike, certainly). For me it's NOT about growing up to look like Miss. International or anything. I don't need to flatter myself thinking I'd ever look awesome in a lbd size 6 with strappies. Some of us can, but that's not me. I just want to FEEL good about who I am, what I am, and what I feel like. And getting into a swimsuit shouldn't put me into that kind of spin. It just shouldn't. done.

Thanks for listening mamas. Jerry TOTALLY doesn't get this stuff. Neither do most of my charmed life friends. Actually, I don't have very many friends in this place at all here, so it's really awesome to have women to share this with who understand and have compassion. It's just a piece of the puzzle, but it's not inconsequential, if you kwim.
post #495 of 535
Thread Starter 
Oh Karen - what did R and dh see yesterday at the movies?
post #496 of 535
For me, the body image stuff isn't about weight, or even about what I eat, but more about being active and fit. I had Luka and then I just sat on my butt. seriously. then i joined on the 1000 minute challenge and felt a lot better, but knew I needed more. now I've had a vacation and a rash that's keeping me indoors (sweating makes it itch more) and I'm feeling slothful again. sigh..... there's always SOMETHING!

Michelle- I figured you'd feel that wieght (on the instincts thing). I just have to say that I can't truly imagine a healthy baby not letting you know that she's hungry. perhaps instead of weighing her weekly, you could say, give it a month (unless of course she gets fussy and and crying and SEEMs hungry) and then weigh her. I think that at this point, their weight gain isn't as steady and predictable.

plantain is awesome. i don't have any growing in my yard, and it's not as prolific here as on thje mainland, but still great.
post #497 of 535
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamabeca
Oh Karen - what did R and dh see yesterday at the movies?
they went to see the Hitchhiker's Guide. It's playing at the dollar theater.
post #498 of 535
Whee that was fun. Lotsa dipes for this mama. She got a big basket of all kinds of cool stuff, hemp, kissaluvs, a huge sampler, etc. I have dipe envy

Lauren finally napping, she was really fighting me on that. And dh is STILL in the basement. I swear, it's not like he even came home, he's just down there working. Always nice to see your spouse for an hour each week. :P

Going to clean. Need to clean. Don't even wanna touch the body image discussion, I'm the kid who intentionally tried to gain weight in middle school so I could have boobs (after mom said "boobs are just fat") and have been fighting to lose the weight ever since. Turkey diet helped, but I'm still at least 15 over where I think I might be comfortable in my skin.
post #499 of 535
Thread Starter 
Where's that GREEN WITH ENVY smilie!!! 15 would be awesome, though I know what you mean. Not feeling in love with myself is the bummer, not the number of lbs. YAY! on the yummy diape basket. I got a kissaluv in a swap and it's too big, but YUMMY!!! Our dr. apt is in 2 weeks. I hope this little fella seriously gains some weight in the next couple of weeks. I'm afraid the doc is going to push formula. sigh.

I'm going to go now and do 10 sun salutations in the backyard. They ALWAYS make me feel better. Karen - I will send you some Reiki tonight. I think it helped, when I was sending your dad reiki before I had his pic and I had your image in my mind...I think some of it got diverted to you...LOL
post #500 of 535
baaaad pharmaceuticals. I wouldn't have touched pills some years ago and now look at where it got me. took that stupid antihistamine at midnight. it's now 11:15 and I am STILL groggy, despite taking an hour long nap in the am. ugh. my head feels like it's full of cotton balls!!!
Andy- your'e a saint.
oh, and Luka was wearing his shirt you sent surf-scuba-swim and dh was just cracking up. he loves it
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