Janulicious July #3 - Page 26

[LEAW]

Oh yah, what's the significance of In'n'out burgers? Dh brought me a t-shirt like it was a special prize. And his coworker sent some shell necklaces for me from Q.A. - I think I like coworker better

Having crap for dinner - hotdogs, chips, grapes, and other misc. crap from around the house.

Dh STILL in the basement, still on the phone. I should leave and see if he even notices. Heck,I was gone for almost 4 hrs today and he didn't seem to know.

[Chiromom]

My body image stuff is hard to talk about with DH because he has F-ed up ideas from our culture about what a "hot mama" should look like too. So, while he is respectful and loving enough NOT to EVER say anything negative, I know that he would find me much more attractive if I lost 30 pounds. ( Heck, even if I lost 15 pounds, it would make a big difference. I'm pretty short.) We just don't talk about it. He encourages me to work out and tries to make it possible for me to find the time to do so. He rarely gains weight andloses it reallyh easily, plus he is tall, plus he has never been pregnant, so he can't really understand how hard it is to lose the kind of weight I want to lose.

This last pregnancy (third for me) really changed the way I am shaped too. I used to hold almost all my excess weight in my butt, thighs, and boobs. This time I have a gut that won't go away too. I feel like I look like I am 3-4 months pregnant. It just won't shrink. My stomach muscles are totally shot.

I've been so crazy busy that i was hoping I would eat less, but instead I just binge more when I get home. Sucks.

Two babies born this week though! I blogged about it if you want to see the details.

Best go be a good mama now.

[catnip]

I dunno about In-n-Out burgers. My brothers live-in girlfriend (who is a vegetarian like me) raves about them(hold the meat), and the folks at the office I used to work at used to drive 30 miles round trip to get them for lunch. Freaks! I've had them, and they are Ok, but still, nothing to buy a souvenir T-Shirt over. Now Nation's on the other hand, they have the best fast food veggieburger I have ever tasted. ( the best veggie burger ever prize goes to the Tower Cafe in Sacramento. They also win best Chili Rellenos, best Napoleon, best chocolate cake, cheesecake, spice cake and abotu 6 other desserts. If you ever go to Sacramento, eat there. It is fabulous. They have meat too, but lots of veggie stuff.)

[Human_Being]

Hi! Sucks 'bout the spider bite Kathy!

Jeni, I hope you are out there- don't shut dwon and tune out, you have support here.

MAr, nice to see you chatting.

Lisa, that's cool you'd be up for a move, Chicago has a happening birth scene, probably a cool mothers scene too. If its so cheap to fly home, and a pretty close drive, moving from mom won't be so bad. Glad the shower was fun. Pretty weird we don't have the new babies anymore, huh?

How was the hitchhiker movie KAren, we got Lemony Snicket for tonight on DVD, I was avoiding movie I wanted to see in third trimester so I'd have good rentals now

Andy- Remember the Red Tent- periods are a women's healing time- the hormones of bleeding time make you go inward, for self reflecting and inner psychic wortk...this is a time to do your own inner work, esp since it's so new since Orin's been born. Try to hold off on doing the reiki until you are not bleeding- it's like you are on inhale now and reiki is exhale. Just do the inhale/inspire/ and keep your energy to yourself in this time, huh? I appreciate your healing vibes...but you need them for yourself now, esp if your on the rag. Thanks for acknowleding that you like hearing about my healing, its hard to have a "problem" and I feel like a whiner sometimes that I still hurt, that I'm still traumatized, like there's a time limit on how long we're allowed to hurt or something.

I talked to an awesome rehab clinic today. I signed up to get an eval of my records and a physical so I can start a physical therapy program next Thursday. The lady who owns it/the therapist shared a space in my courtyard at the birth center for a while, and I went to check her out because she's a block from the birth center in a building she just restored. I really feel like she'll help me on my back issues. She specialized in "people who fall through the cracks" in pain and rehab- doing holistic exercise/therapy/ nutrition/and craniosacral. She does elders after orthopedic surgury, kids with Cerebral palsy, and postpartum athletes. She was intimidating at first casue she's got that brutey stance of the super fit. I didn't think I'd like her, but her eyes are actaully soft and smart. She's just really buff.

I went to the beach today and told DH, who gratefully doesn't seem to care too much how I look now (but has expressed he hopes Idon't get obese like my mom, but alweays tells me I'm beutiful ) that I must be deluded cause I don't feel25-30lbs overweight- I don't feel as fat in my suit as I thought Iwould at this weigh- I felt toatally fine walking around in just my suit. I 'm not in great shape, but I really don't carry a big psychic burden over it. I would love to be in better health, and fit in some of my clothers, and I'm wearing one of those sizes I thought I'd never, ever wear.....but maybe it's good for all my preggo aquanatalers to see their midwfe's postpartum saggy and strech marked tummy sneek out of my tankini everynow and then., and see me carry on like it's nothing. Perhaps my confidence in my chub is inspiring!


Anyhoo....Gonna go eat and watch Lemony! Heidi

[mamabeca]

Howdy mamas - well, loong day here. And at 9:40 little miss comes creeping down the stairs...it's enough to blow one's lid, I tell ya. I told her to go get a book of her bookshelf and read until she falls asleep. I'd turn off her light LOL. Still debating on the backpacks over here. I am SO unable to make a decision. Thanks Heidi on the inward-spection reminder. I do forget... I sent a little reiki to Karen, who just NEEDS it and doesn't mind a little extra blood on it, I think LOL! But that's it for tonight mamas. Dh came home early, around 3ish, and I gotta say Lisa, he's HOME. He was carrying the baby around, mowing the lawn, cooked dinner (yummy curry). He didn't put anyone to bed, or clean anything up, but his being home is still just fresh enough that it doesn't bother me. Tomorrow, however... I hope R. smartens up, silly bub.

How's that spidey bite Kathy?

Jeni - you still love us?

Karen - I enjoyed HHGTTG, I'm guessing GB did for old times sake, didn't 'cause the fx kinda sucked, but R. may have, 'cause it is an unusual story that has some depth (ok, not much, but a little - enough for a 12 - 15 yo.).

Mar - DO you find time to exercise? I have one friend who SERIOUSLY wakes up at 5am to exersize for an hour before she has to shower and get everyone ready for the day. SICK SICK SICK!!! But she looks great :

started this ages ago...sorry. Best post it up. xoxo andy

[Pam_and_Abigail]

Wow, I missed one day and it took me two to catch up!
Big hugs for Jeni!
Karen - ouch!
Lisa, glad your dh is back, moving could be exciting. maybe your new house will have a finished kitchen :-)

Someone suggested St. John's Wort, which is what I used to take and it worked for me, but I didn't know it was safe to take while nursing. Anyony have info? I'd like to go on drugs, but not ssri's or even anything presription-like. I've been feeling suicidal from time to time lately, though I know it's really my situation, not my life that I want to escape. I've been really mean and harsh with poor little A lately (though we've gone back to rewarding her with m and m's for going potty).

And there was talk of baby signs. We did that with A, but I don't know if I'm going to with G - it almost seemed to slow A down, she signed instead of using words for some time, and now she has a lot of words that are her very own (though I think that is getting better).

Swimming lessons are done. Kinda sad, it was nice getting to go swimming every day at my favourite lake, but it was also stressful having to get out the door every day by 11:30.
Oh, I got a nursing *bra* tank last week. Still gotta get rid of those ones I bought on TP... I like my new one a lot!

Tomorrow is Lammas, grain harvest. I'm thinking of going to my old town for ritual with my friends whom I miss very much.

gotta go

[LEAW]

Andy - heh, I wish dh could cook. He did come up finally at dinner time (I ate long before he got off the phone though) and played w/L for a while, and we watched 2/3 of a movie with lots of pauses for baby and getting her to bed (took an hour!) and we'll watch the rest today. Right now he's in bed with her, I needed to just walk around for a bit, and I'm going to go back and put her back to sleep in a bit.

Exercise - no time here. I could have time to walk if I wanted, but gosh, soem days the pitter patter just HURTS when I walk. So I've been a couch sloth. BUT I am going to sign up for a class at community college (it's something about stretching, strengthening, conditioning) that is an hour on Sat. mornings. I figure since it's the weekend, it's likely dh will be home and can come hold babe while I have class, and if he's not, my mom or dad will.

And we're going to take swimming there too, on a weeknight.

Pam, I can't remember, but I want to say SJW isn't ok while nursing. Stepping toward prescriptions is OK! You won't be any less of a person or a mama for it. And if it helps you cope with the situation and location then you will be a better mama for it.

Thinking about some pancakes for breakfast. L FINALLY poo'd following the watermellon and peanut butter reactions (yah, watermellon too!) so the list is now:
strawberries
raspberries
dairy
soy
watermelon
cantaloupe
pork
oranges and juice
lemons
peanut butter

I think that's it. And I have yet to try some things, but we do have all the other big ones - eggs, wheat, fish (though not tried shellfish), chocolate, tomato, corn, are ok.

Ooh just looking at the Joneja scale.. I haven't had spinach, beans, pineapple, kiwi, grapefruit, or avocado yet.

Back to bed,
Lisa

[mamabeca]

we're up for the day here - he's busy ripping apart title 9's title page har har... but momentarily busy

Pam - do YOU call a hotline??? Your feelings are pretty strong, mama. I'm all for the visit to good friends! sounds like a good lammas! Can you still go swim w/out the lessons? and maybe get out the door by 1pm instead

I FINALLY picked a pack. I gotthis one. Man does it ever come w/ the bells and whistles! and if I decide I don't love it I can return it and get the Kekty I want for exactly the same price. I was never ocd before...

done w/title page and time to walk the dog... caio!

[Azreial]

ooo that's a fancy pack Andy. I hope you love it. I tried the ergo out on my back yesterday it was much more comfortable than I thought and it actually fit pretty good. I was surprised I have such a short torso that I thought it would be a problem. And it wasn't really that hot. I switched it over to the front and that was much hotter. Miss E liked it too, she had fun pulling my hair : .

Pam anti-depressants really aren't that bad. They're not awesome, but they can work. Does your therapist know you feel like that. I know that I don't always tell my therapist if I feel like that : From what I've read Zoloft is the best to take while bf, if you do decide to take something. I'm going to offer up my fav depression suggestion again, get out and have sometime for yourself. That does wonders for me. Yesterday we (I had both dc and our 2 dogs+1 visiting dog) took a 2 hour walk in the woods. It was something I've been wanting to do and while I didn't get to do it alone, the dc were good so it was still very stress releiving and mood uplifting. Another thing that's helped me when I've had alot of really down days like that in a row was to letthings go. I told dh that I was feeling overwhelmed with all the hosehold things, the kids, mil or whatever and that I just couldn;'t do it anymore. He just did whatever he could when he wasn't working and I concintrated on me and Miss E and just relaxing. Yeah the house was really trashed, we had take-out too much but that's just what needed to be done.
I hope you start feeling better soon. Ppd can be a real I odn't know about you but anytie I feel like I'm getting better it just crashes down again Its such a gradual thing, getting out its clutch.

I want to post more but we woke up late and poor Mr C has missed church for the ??? week in a row and he really wants to go So we're going to get donuts, the realyl good 40mile drive donuts

[LEAW]

Woah Andy, that's not a pack, that's a traveling baby gym

Sheri, mmm donuts! I haven't had a donut in 4 months. Or maybe longer. Mmm.. we skipped church today too.

I so want pancakes (yes, I can use pancake mix) but with no sink in the kitchen, I really don't want to mess with a bowl, griddle, tools, etc. so I'm gonna wait and make pancakes at mom's when I go back over there. Yah, I'm going back. I've decided that being here in kitchen hell is depressing and I feel better there/away.

ALTHOUGH if I can light a fire under dh's ass today (we have 6.5 hrs til the airport again) and get him to run some elec. work for the kitchen, in theory dad and I can finish drywalling the hole behind the sink this week and maybe some other smaller things, and POTENTIALLY get the sink back in next weekend. Hmm.. of course we don't have any counters, I think a piece of plywood and the sink will do for now. I have a few little things I need to do as well, and then we might just get a kitchen before end of summer.

OH and I need to pick out paint. But to do that, I need to get the floor tiles out and look at them next to the cabinets and dream. I really want a blue kitchen, but I think we'll end up with something blushy or creamy or maybe taupe.

-L

[mamabeca]

Enjoy the donuts mama! And the drive

We're off to buy non-acetone nail polish remover so we can have some 'girl' time. Caio!

[mamabeca]

morning lisa - the pancakes y'day were ok, nothing to rave about (though we did have strawberry ones that were yumm, and the syrup was good!). dh's eggs this a.m. were better. HA! Since we have no other bling anymore, I figure we're due for a little creature comfort. Now we've got the killer jog stroller (3 miles this morning, walk), and the pack. YAHOO!

[catnip]

According to Hale, St John's Wort is safe while breastfeeding, HOWEVER it is not very effective for moderate to severe depression. It works better with a mild case of the blues.

Lemon Balm and lavender are safe remedies but can impact milk supply.

For acute symptoms, a dose of motherwort every so often can be very soothing, but used to often, it can form a dependancy. Dosage is 5-10 drops of tincture.

Karen, I leave for So. Cal tomorrow and will be there until Saturday. I will be online and reading even if I can't post much.

These postcards are SO fun! Kaia's big sisters are here this weekend, and we've had tons of fun looking at them.

Spilled an OUNCE of EBM this am.

[mamabeca]

sorry Michelle - about the ebm... that IS sad. it's hot and humid again today, and my little girl is really nutty. arg. caio.

[Malama]

Pam suicidal thoughts are scary and eventhough it's situational, it would be good to be proactive and treat your ppd.
I agree with Sheri, that meds are not SOOO bad. But there are some alternatives. LIke Michelle said, St John's Wort is OK while bf- for mild depression (info from THe Nursing Mother's Herbal). It also says in this book that the safest treatment is cognitive therapy, which is quick and effective. hmmmm.

Now that I think about it, I hope we didn't scare of Jeni. I don't know that she liked all that focus on her. Jeni, if you're reading... we miss you

Michelle. i know i might have asked... but where exactly on SoCal? my parents live near w. hollywood and my dad is in the rehab place in Inglewood (who knows how long). Are you anywhere near that? or do they live in Carlsbad- or maybe you were just on vacation at C? could we meet? I'll be there on Thurs eve. sorry about the spilled milk. that sucks

Andy- the backpack looks cool! I especially like the thing over the kids head- the sun shade, seems like it would be worth buying a new one JUST for that purpose. Luka is already starting to pull his hat off :

woke up with a scratchy throat. it's not a good time for me to have something. I have some throat coat brewing and I'll try and kick it quick.

[Pam_and_Abigail]

I called the parents helpline once, but wasn't able to fully open up to them. My councellor and I have a written pact that I am to call her when I have thoughts of hurting myself or others, but it's really hard to make the call when I'm actually feeling it. Thursday was a bad day.
I have a book on cog. therapy, but it's hard to implement, I find.
Anyway dh decided to go help his dad build their cottage today, and abby just p*ssed all over me intentionally (guess m&m's weren't enough incentive afterall) but when he gets home, i might take off.
sjw has always worked so well for me in the past, and rather than become dependent, I've always come to need it less and less, till i can stop it altogether.

[Malama]

Pam, I'm glad that you and your councellor have a pact- but make sure you use it!!!! Lots of s to you mama. I hope you get some time away from the girls when dh gets back.

[LEAW]

OMG we can NOT afford any houses near Chicago. Nowhere. Not even in the ghetto.

Aaaaah!

[paquerette]

Still here but busy. I might be back to reading/psoting by Tuesday.

[mamabeca]

I guess we've decided... dh and I want to get a hot tub instead of going anywhere w/our tax rebate this year. It's substantial (and mostly from his paycheck overpay, so I do feel like we should spend spend spend and be happy happy happy!), but not enough for retail. Ebay here we come! Yikes

Beca and I have beautiful toes!

Pam - I hope you get a break this afternoon too. The pressure on dh's time must be big to check ou t for a weekend day. Sorry 'bout that, mama.

Karen - I actually swapped away our other carrier, which was well used but had a lot of life left in it, just to get one with a sun shade. Orin is TERRIBLE with hats, instantly pulling it off, and if I am going to have him on my back and can't see, I need to know he's covered. He has that hemangioma on the top of his head, and it makes me nervous, all those changing cells,kwim? Bummer about the scratchy throat...maybe allergies (I can hope for ya, huh?).