Rooms?

[Marlet]

How does everyone do rooms? Does your DSC have their own room (whether or not you have them full time)? Do they share with biokids (whether or not you have them full time)? Do they co-sleep with you (whether or not you have them full time)? How does it all work for you? Do you wish sleeping arrangments were different? Does DSC custodial parent have say in it all? If so what are their restrictions etc,?

We'll have a room for DSS but I don't know how it'll work for him. He coslept with his mom for sometime (just weaned from that not too long ago). He hasn't spent much time with us since we live out of state right now. Who knows how he'll handle being in a new place (our home we are moving into) in his own room. Just curious how everyone has it set up!

[Momof9kids]

First off, I'd like to say that the custodial parent (if you are the NCP) has NO say in how ANYTHING is done in your home - WRT house rules, sleeping arrangements, etc. And, vise-versa.

Second, I have 4 step-daughters (now all teens) who came back here to live 3 ys ago. We only have a 4 bdrm home. My Oldest BD was already just moved out when they came back here. So, two of the skids got her old room (its small) with a bunk. One s-kid moved in with my other 2 bio-daughters and our 2 boys have a room. The youngest SD has her dresser, etc in the upstairs hall, near the bathroom, but she sleeps on the pull-out sofa bed, because 1) none of her sisters wanted to share a room with her because of her VERY FILTHY living habits and stealing/taking & breaking of her siblings belongings. It was a problem even when the 4 girls lived with their BM... 2) we just didn't have any more bedroom space. Period.

Anyway, now that one SD has graduated HS and is 18.5, when she leaves home, the youngest will get her spot. Basically, because we don't have a huge house and our last name is not "Trump" we just had to "stack 'em & rack 'em" with bunks.

My OBD, when she vistited her dad almost every w/end, never had her "own" room. She was sofa-city when he lived in apt. and when he got re-married and moved to a house, my BD had to share space with her SM's daughter.

You do what you gotta do and what works FOR YOU.

[chel]

my 2 dsd sleep in my dd's room. dd always co-sleeps with Dh and I anyways. we recently moved, and before this we were in a 1br apt, and the 2dsd sleeps in the living room. Before dd, we normally traveled to the dsd's city and camped in a tent. We had a 2 person tent, where it was Dh, me, and then the 2dsd (they slept with one head up and the dsd on the end, head down).
I could feel the resentment from dd about the 2dsd sleeping in her room. Luckily it was only for 1 week, our other week we spent traveling and stayed in a hotel (Dh, dd, and I in 1 bed and the 2dsd in the other).

[fire_in_july]

My DSS (10) and DS (8) share a bedroom. They have bunk beds, but typically choose to sleep together on the bottom (double) bunk. They love it - playing "fort" and whatnot. I know DS is lonely when DSS is not here. And it is *their* room, not just DS's, even though DSS is only here part-time. They both have equal closet space, dresser space, etc. It is very important to us that DSS sees it as equally his room, even though he is not always here, as this is his home also.

DD (2) will share a room with the DD that I am currently pregnant with, once new baby is done co-sleeping with us.

It worked very nicely for us, with the 2 boys so close in age, and now the 2 girls will be too.

[polka hop]

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[Flor]

We have dss (10 yo) 5 nights one week, 4 nights the next. He has a room here, and recently he has a room at his mom's,too. We co-sleep with ds (2 yo), but he has a room, too. We unofficially coslept with dss when he was younger, but he had a room then, too. If we have another one, I don't know where we'll put 'em. I am hoping that the boys will want to sleep together soon!

[rgarlough]

At first when the DSkids moved in with me, they shared a room. They were 5 & 7 and that's what they were used to and loved. It was my 3 bedroom house and I needed a room for the cats at that time.

As they got older, like 7 & 9 we tried to rearrange the house so the kids could have separate rooms. We put bunks in both rooms and quickly learned they could've cared less really about having their own rooms They always did sleep overs in one then the other room.

When ds came along 2 years ago, we knew we'd be cosleeping and let the kids know that eventually they'd be sharing a room depending on if we had a boy or a girl. Both kids were excited! Well, it was boy and Corey was all gung ho to share. Too bad Mason still prefers to shack up with dh and I cuz Corey's more than willing to have his little bro move in.

I have recently started keeping ds' toys in the 'boys' room. I also have a dresser for Mason that I'm refinishing and moving in there. Eventually, the boys will be together.

Since we are TTC #2, there is the possibility that we could have 3 boys and 1 girl in our 3 bedroom house. DSD and DSS are only over every other weekend and if anything, I would get a full size bed to put under the bunk instead of the twin that's there and ds could share with his future little bro if necessary. I'm sure that's a long way down the road though... Considering we'd cosleep for at least the first year with the next one too.

[NewYearsEve04]

Funny this subject came up because right now we are in the process of figuring what to do with our 2 bedroom condo. My step-daughter (13) has always had her own room even though we only have her every other weekend or every just depends. Now we are expecting and I'm trying my hardest to not take over her space with the baby's crib or changing table. We have already discussed putting the baby's toys and clothes in her room since we don't have room anywhere else for these things. I plan to always make it feel like her room the best that I can by cleaning up before she comes etc. but it is driving me crazy right now trying to fit all our stuff and the baby's crib/changing table in our room. I'm thinking we have to push one of our dressers into a closet and build another level to our closet to fit our clothes/shoes. It does get frustrating thinking that she is barely here and I can't make her room into a nursery but I would not want to do that because it's not right. I just need to vent it out....I'm not upset at the situation just a little frustrated at our space issue. We were planning on moving into a bigger place but financially it would be wiser to stay where we are and deal with our current space issues. We will obviously have to move before we have another baby because there is no way I can rearrange the house to accomodate two full time kids and not take over my step-daughter's room.

I commend you all on how you handle your room situations.

[MusicLadyToo]

I have had many situations with my family. When my husband and I first got married my ds was 6 and dsd was 2. They shared a room right outside our room because THEY wanted to. We had another room that we had initially made into dsd's room but she didn't want to be there. Her mom eventually had a fit and DEMANDED that they have separate rooms or she would take dad back to court because it is SICK for children of opposite genders to share a room. Like a 6 and 2 yo know the difference or care. We "made" her sleep in her own room at that point because although he most likely wouldn't have lost custody we couldn't afford to go back to court. When we bought our house they each had their own room. We know have ds-10, dsd-7, ds-2, dd-4months. The two boys presently share a room when 2yo isn't cosleeping. DSD has her own room and dd cosleeps. I think that dd will have her own room when she no longer cosleeps because of the huge age difference between them. Also in the next couple of years we are planning to finish the rest of our baement and put heating down there and give oldest ds a room down there. I think you ahve to do what works for your family. I know when I was growing up, we always slept in the guest room or family room at my dad's house and depending on which house he was in depended on who slept in which rooms. Typically my sister and I shared a bed and my brother got either the other room or slept on the floor in the room we were in.

[MissMisha]

Just started lurking here as I used to be on the Single Parents Forum. Getting married in 16 (!) days to my beloved and he has two, 10 yo DS and 13 yo DD and I have one, 2.5 DS. I have full physical and he has 50/50 shared custody. Figured I better read up on blended families before the fecal matter hits the fan, LOL.

We just moved back into the house I shared with ex. We totally remodeled (got rid of those pesky 1st marriage memories, hee hee). It has four bedrooms and three bathrooms so we have plenty of room. However, we have STB MIL staying with us half-time, so we gave her a room of her own - the downstairs one with it's own bath. It is as if it was designed to be an IL unit or a room for a live-in nanny. She has her privacy and we have ours, too.

The two boys share a room and actually like it! We have a twin bed with a trundle that they share. This past week, we had the SC all week and most mornings, the boys were asleep in one bed rather than one in each. Both started out co-sleeping with their respective then-married parents, so this is natural to them and very, very sweet to DF and me. We are tickled that the kids get along so well, in spite of the age difference.

Our girl, 13, has her own room but she shares with my office. She is fine with that. I haven't had the chance yet, but I'm actually looking forward to working at home and just hanging out with her in my office. We get along really well and I always wanted a daughter. Since I probably won't have a bio-daughter, she's a wish come true!

FWIW, NewYearsEve04, have you asked your DSD about sharing with the changing table? I insisted that DF *ask* rather than tell DSD about room sharing (he's more authoritarian than I am) and the kids actually came up with the present arrangements. They didn't seem to mind the sharing idea and really wanted to give Grandmother her own room. You might be pleasantly surprised that she doesn't mind the changing table and the crib will probably be in your room, anyway, right? Just my .02.

Edited for clarity.