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In your eyes, wheres the best place to give birth - Page 3

post #41 of 90
For me, this time around, I am going to a free standing birth center. I have spent the last 3 months fighting to get to birth in the birth center instead of the hospital. Fighting with DH, with my Ins company, etc. Finally after a ton of research, phone calls and time I found a way to have the birth center covered. Since DHs main complaint about hb was $$$ this is a big step. Hopefully next time around we will be in a more hb friendly area and be able to find a CNM willing to come to our house.

A woman should birth where ever she feels comfotable. Who are we to say that a woman shouldn't be in a hopsital unless X or only because of Y? Who are we to say that hospital births shouldn't be covered under insurance unless medically necissary? Do we want people saying "I don't think home birth should be covered under insurance unless the baby is born at home on accident UC"? It just doesn't seem fair if you turn the tables. I am very pro hb but this time around it didn't work out for my family.

I haven't given birth in the BC yet but I KNOW it is better than my local hospital. If it wasn't then I wouldn't be making the hour and 45 minute drive. I haven't even had my first prenatal visit yet because I have spent so much time fighting to get it covered. So I will be 5 months for my first visit, LOL. And let me tell you I can't wait to use the bath tub, our tub isn't big enough for me to lay in when not pregnant, much less trying to sit or change possitions. The way I see it is the birth center is a nice safe alternative to home birth. I won't even compare the BC to the hospital, there are too many differences to list. But I know the BC is just like home... only it's away from home. So I feel it is a very nice alterative for those are don't want a hospital birth, but are not yet ready for a home birth.

Not to mention that if I had a hb and I ended up needing to be transfered it is likely that my mws would be arrested by the police here on base because having a hb attendant is illegal, though it is only a misdemeaner. But the mws I have talked to would be more than willing to take the risk.

We try to help people understand, we try and be gentle in introducing homebirth to the mainstream, but if we come out and say "All hospital birthers are evil! The hospital is evil! All OBs are evil!" then we aren't going to get very far. However, I know this is a NFL board so we feel more able to be 'crude' in stating our feelings about hb, most of us know that it is 'safer' but when people get attacked for wanting a hospital birth we are just setting ourselves back.

Originally Posted by newtonscricket
I have had 3 babies at the Women's Birth and Wellness Center (formerly Piedmont Women's Health Care Center) in Chapel Hill, NC
Hey! That is the birth center we choose... erm, ok well it's the closest, the next is 2 1/2 hours away. But I am so glad to hear you had a great experience! I can't wait for my first prenatal next week. I have only met 1 of the mws (I think it was a mw) at orientation, but I have talked to a few on the phone and I just can't wait!
post #42 of 90
Hey Gena that's great! What a coincidence! PM me if you want to talk more about it.
post #43 of 90
I am having an unassisted birth at home and I think that's *the* way to go. I only go to the hospital if I'm dying.
post #44 of 90
I solidly beleive women whould birth where they feel safe and comfortable. IMO it's all about CHOICE.

I planned to have my first in a free standing birth center, but transferred for pain control and ended up with the full-on hospital experience (no c-section, no vax, etc, but epesiotomy, vaccum, epidural induced fever.) Y'know what- I'm perfectly happy with my birth experience and comfortable with the choice I made. I made a choice based on how I felt at that moment and I don't regret it at all.

That said- I do regret letting myself get so tired during prelabor that I couldn't handle the pain better once real labor had been in full swing for several hours.

So this time I'll try the birth center again. I would almost like to do it at home, but whatever. I feel more confident, better prepared, etc about an out of hospital birth this time around because I know what to expect.

But if I transfer again, I'm certainly not going to beat myself up over it.

There are benefits and drawbacks of birthing at any location. I am very glad I live in a country where I can make choices about how I want to handle my birth experience. For me, that is more empowering than being forced into the birth experience someone else thinks is "best."
post #45 of 90
post #46 of 90
I had my first in a hospital and I won't do it again. My home is not a cozy place either. It's small, cramped and not very relaxing. We're going to a MW run birth center next time. It might be a little farther to drive and while I won't be happy about that, not being in the hospital for the actual birth would be so much better.
post #47 of 90
I solidly beleive women whould birth where they feel safe and comfortable. IMO it's all about CHOICE.
I would totally get behind that if there WERE real choice in the US (and most women had good information). As it stands the option of MW-assisted HB is not legally available for many, many women. And even in states where it is legal, it is sometimes VERY difficult to get insurance to pay-- when they should be happy to save money. And then there's all the misinformation out there that makes it significantly harder to go against the "norm" and choose HB (or even BC birth, at times).

Choice would be wonderful. Too bad REAL choice it is not yet a reality.
post #48 of 90
Originally Posted by wannabe
EXCEPT A BATH and the hot water to fill it!!!

And our cream carpet has two stains from my waters - and I didn't even get into real labour at home - the landlord won't be happy.
This I agree with. DP and I are moving into a small apartment with a tiny bathroom. We have a tub, but unless DP or the MW sits/stands on the toilet, there's no way we can fit all 3 of us in the bathroom. :LOL

I love the huge tubs available in the birthing center we've discussed. Fake or not, it's something we couldn't have at home.
post #49 of 90
The safest most wonderful place for me to give birth is at home with my DH.
post #50 of 90
(Pardon me as I slip on my ruby slippers....)
There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home...
post #51 of 90
Originally Posted by mmaramba

Choice would be wonderful. Too bad REAL choice it is not yet a reality.

I vote home, with a very experienced midwife who deeply respects the natural process and how little intervention is needed in most cases. That's at least what I'm planning for #2! -any day now! :
post #52 of 90
For me, it's definitely at home. My 2nd son was born at home and now I can't imagine doing it any other way.
post #53 of 90
Originally Posted by mmaramba
Maybe I'm just irascible lately, but

It's hypothesis-confirmation-seeking behavior at its finest. You already stated your opinion, (a couple of times) and then a dozen women explained why they LOVED their HBs. But you grab on to the one "negative" story about HB.

I mean, that's fine-- to each her own. But what was your point in asking?

I've said it before and I'll say it again-- in birth, as in life, there are NO GUARANTEES. You could have a cr@ppy hospital birth and you could have a cr@ppy homebirth. Absolutely. No question about it.

My thoughts exactly.
post #54 of 90



Home is safest. Home is most comfortable. Home is the easiest place for my labor to progress. Home is the best place for facilitating breastfeeding.

Homebirth protects me from getting my perineum sliced open. Homebirth protects me from continuous fetal monitoring. Homebirth protects me from crankly nurses, or disrespectful residents, or doctors who secretly hate women and women's bodies.

Homebirth protects my baby from being circumcised, or given any medications, without my consent. Homebirth protects my baby from ever being handled roughly or disrespectfully. Homebirth protects my baby from ever being given formula, sugar water or pacifiers.

I had a hospital birth and a homebirth and my homebirth was way safer. I was put at highly unneccessary risk by my overmanaged hospital birth. I could have died. *And * I was in more pain in the hospital than I was at home.

post #55 of 90
Originally Posted by Artist Mama
I also say wherever the mama is most comfortable.

FWIW, I had my DD at home.
- We have cream carpet. There ended up being a huge merconium and blood stain in the middle of the room. The midwife did not take care of that mess (and she's been a MW for close to 15 years).

- DD had an apgar of 3 (then 5 then 7) and we had to take her in to the ER to get checked out. The hospital treated us like sh!t because we had a homebirth. A blood test was contaminated by the staff and we ended up with a 9 day hospital stay while DD was on antibiotics for NO reason.

- I was very unprepared for how overwhelming the pain of labor would be. I woke up in hard labor (painful contrax 3-5 minutes apart) that continued for over 14 hours. I know not all women have such a painful labor but I was really struggling to cope and would have done just about anything to be out of pain (including death which I wished for more than once that day).

This time I am having a hospital birth with an OB.
I know him and have worked with him in the past. I am confident that my wishes will be respected (they aren't that serious- no eye goop, no vax, no vit k, baby to my breast immediately, no bath, wait to cut cord).
Oops and no episiotomy.

I am doing hypnobabies for pain but if I fail at my own pain control, I have absolutely no qualms about asking for an epidural. Not very crunchy of me but I don't care. I strongly suspect my DD went into distress because of MY pain and distress. I was too panicked to be very effective during my last labor.

Also, my insurance pays 100% of my hospital birth. It covers nothing for a homebirth and we do not have an extra $3000 to spend at this time. We have tens of thousands of debt to pay off as it is.

I applaud women who educate others about the benefits of homebirth. For the most part, I agree with the stats and the sentiment. Nearly all of my friends IRL are homebirthers.

This time it's not for me. I educated myself. I tried it. It should be no skin off anyone else's nose that I am choosing to have a hospital birth. I know the risks and I'm not really all that concerned. I *am* armed with information and a voice to speak up for myself and my child. DH feels the same way.

so I had a few comments to make - because the baby was born and needed resuscitation your midwife was probably preoccupied with taking care of the baby first before she thought about how clean the carpet was- by the time that stuff dried on the carpet you are probably in need of a professional cleaner- peroxide works well for blood and little bits of still wet mec but dried mec is staining and I don't know what to use to get that stain out in clothes let alone a carpet and I have been doing this for 23 years.

I think many women have pain that is extreme in labor, I know that with each baby i had it was true for me but I really just had resolved to myself that what ever it took I could do it. One midwife I know said at a point near the end of her labor something that helped her endure was she started thinking that if she wanted to go to the hospital now that an ambulace would come and in the ambulance there would be some pain drugs and she was visualizing where those drugs were in the ambulance shelves at about that point the baby decended enough she felt like pushing--

I gave my personal preference already but what I know to be true is women need to birth where they feel safest -- so although I prefer homebirth I also know it is not for everyone
post #56 of 90
Originally Posted by mwherbs
because the baby was born and needed resuscitation your midwife was probably preoccupied with taking care of the baby first before she thought about how clean the carpet was

A babe with an apgar of 3 needs more attention than the carpet.
post #57 of 90
I also wanted to comment on artisitmama's experience.

I'm not sure when it became evident that there was meconium in the amniotic fluid- but my widwives have made it clear that they won't deliver a baby at home or at a birth center if there is meconium.

I'm not saying that that homebirth was mis-managed, but meconium in the water is correlated with worse apgar scores, higher liklihood of fetal distress, etc.

I'm so glad I live in an area where doctors and midwives don't have a lot of animosity. Most midwives around here are pretty conservative, and for me that makes me feel more comfortable.
post #58 of 90
Originally Posted by pamamidwife
With more than 30% of first time moms receiving cesarean sections at my local hospital, I'm not fond of thinking that hospital birth is safest.

What I think is funny is how many people look at me and say things like, "SCARY!" when they hear I attend homebirths. I'm so not a huge risk-taker. Not at all. Since most of my clients birth upright, in water, babies born into their own hands and nary a vaginal exam, I'd have to say that the women that walk into the hospital are brave. Very brave.

I don't know that I'd turn my normal birth over to anyone. I'm fond of woman-centered, holistic, hands-off birth. If you can get that in the hospital without a fight, that's great. But, the truth is most women cannot. Giving birth and fighting off "well meaning" providers just does not go hand in hand. It would be like making love while a "well meaning" instructor stood by to watch, get involved "if needed" and make sure things were happening according to their schedule.

For first time moms especially, I think it's so important in today's climate that they birth empowered.

Have I told you lately that I love you?

I absolutely agree!!! Esp the bolded part! I was 18 when I birthed my oldest. She was born at home in water and I must say that her birth had a LOT to do with how cinfidant I am about being the mother I choose to be!
post #59 of 90
I've given birth four times, and for me it has proven to be true that the quality of the birth experience significantly affects confidence level, emotional state, and instinctive ability to mother, and that those things in turn affect the emotional and physical health of myself, my baby, and my family.

In order to protect that, for me the best decision (given that I was healthy and all was normal with the pregnancy) was to give birth at home, with just my husband in attendance (although alone would have been great too.)
post #60 of 90
This might be a strange perspective, as I have never given birth and I'm not pregnant (I think...could be 2 days pregnant, but too early to tell!).

For my first birth, I think I will feel most comfortable in a free-standing birth center.

A hospital birth would be my last choice for a number of reasons (the total lack of control; the potential need to fight for every choice that is important to me--freedom of movement, no unnecessary interventions; the cold, bright, sterile environment that I associate with sickness; the high risk of C-section; etc.).

However, for my first birth, I also think that I personally would not be as comfortable at home. This isn't because I think homebirth is dangerous, but because: I think I will benefit from being in a place that feels more "authoritatively" like a birthing place the first time around; because I live in an apartment with very thin walls, no carpeting, and a rather old, slightly grungy tub that I won't use (shower only); because this apartment is only temporary, so it doesn't have quite the comforting homey sense that a place we owned or would be in long-term would have; and because of an undefinable but nevertheless sense that I will just be happier at a birth center this time.

For subsequent births, though, I would definitely consider homebirth.
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