Is Nightweaning an aspect of Child Led Weaning? - Page 5

[callmemama]

Originally Posted by doctorjen

The old "until you've walked a mile in their shoes" seems to apply.

I agree. I can say that my son self-nightweaned at 2.5 years, BUT I wasn't pregnant, I wasn't tandem nursing, I wasn't WOH, ... It worked for us. But in other circumstances it might not have. Let's embrace our common goal of CLW, however we define that individually. I never dreamed ds would "still" be nursing at 5.75 years. It is soooooooooo wonderful to have this forum for support.

[mother_sunshine]

Originally Posted by callmemama

Let's embrace our common goal of CLW, however we define that individually. I never dreamed ds would "still" be nursing at 5.75 years. It is soooooooooo wonderful to have this forum for support.

I agree.

[mother_sunshine]

ShabbyChic, I apologize for jumping down your throat. I just felt that your post was harsh and judgemental, so (I can see now) I responded in the same way, which is not what I wanted to do. I am trying to connect all of us rather than divide. Truce?

I just get all worked up and emotional when a mother like doctorjen (and others who have come and, unfortunately, gone), who can be such a valuable voice here, says she doesn't feel comfortable because she doesn't fit into the narrow definition that is sometimes placed on CLW. And I could see what she meant because I started feeling it too.

I agree that we should not assume that nightweaning is a prominent part of clw, therefore not an integral part of the process. However, limits are a part of life and it is up to the individual to decide what kind of limits, if any, are right for her and her child. I wouldn't tell anyone here that they have to put limits (such as nightweaning) on their child in order to continue CLWing, nor would I want anyone telling me that I cannot nightwean if I want to be a part of this forum, kwim?

We're hard enough on ourselves as it is. All the mothers in this forum need each other's support more than anything. I know how valuable support is for mothers who are breastfeeding beyond the norm, that's the only reason I stick around here. It's what gives you energy and power on your low days, and helps you to realize that you're doing the right thing even if society all around you is saying otherwise. You're in this together, differences and all.

[ShabbyChic]

Thank you Michelle. And, I too apologize if I was harsh as well. I guess I feel like there are not too many "places" that I can go to that support the concept of CLW as a whole. Certainly, there is nowhere in my real life. I do not usually try to live by such narrow definitions, and like I said earlier there are limitations in everyone's life that cause them to have to make decisions that may not fall into the confines of my particular criteria, however, it seems to be the nightweaning posts that leave me all hot-headed and bothered. I do not think I am the only one. Sometimes, there are posts made here that seem to fall so entirely out of the realm of the related concept, that it causes me to jump. For that, I am sorry.

So yes, a truce. I will always try to see something another way, even if I agree or not. Thank you, this has been some righteous learning.

[mother_sunshine]

FWIW, I too think a post asking "Help me nightwean my child" does not belong in the CLW forum. But if a mother has nightweaned her child, I think she is most definitely welcome here . This has been good for me too. Thanks.




Now I have to get some work done. Sometimes I get sucked in MDC for too long, then I feel mother-guilt for not spending time with dd and responsibility-guilt for not getting some work done, etc.....but that's a whole other forum! :LOL

[callmemama]

Originally Posted by mother_sunshine

Now I have to get some work done. Sometimes I get sucked in MDC for too long, then I feel mother-guilt for not spending time with dd and responsibility-guilt for not getting some work done, etc.....but that's a whole other forum! :LOL

No! No! Not another forum - I don't have TIME! (off to get on with my day )

[Kira's mom]

So I'm still wondering is it not clw to 'suggest' we sleep all night? I am definately not setting limits.I never say no and often suggest.I am curious. This is obviously not a contest-just responding to dc needs.Where is the definition of clw?

[larson]

I have read most of these posts and as someone who has only posts on this forum once or twice, I can certainly see both sides of the coin.

However, I can say that it isn't fair to those who consider limits on nursing to not be welcome here. Nursing is a two-way relationship and like in all relationships, everyone has different limits and ideas of what is okay and what isn't. Respecting those differences is important.

I agree that there are too few people who choose CLW and that we should all try to stick together. On the diapering board those of us who 'occasionally' use sposies aren't ripped on or singled out. Of course, some are proud of the fact that their child has NEVER been in a sposie, but again, there isn't a negative outlook on those of us who use them once in a while.

I would hope that 'purists' can respect where others are coming from. I am sure there are people like me who plan to CLW but are planning more kids and don't know what's in store for me yet. If I had to wean (or set limits) for some reason I would certainly hope I could find help and support in this forum for that situation--even if it was just empathy for not being able to CLW like one had planned.

I understand that there are other forums for BF but sometimes people want input from others that they've come to respect and get to know.

Again, just my 2C.

[Katiemare]

MDC user agreement says: "Through your direct or indirect participation here you agree to make a personal effort to maintain a comfortable and respectful atmosphere for our guests and members."

back to the Original Poster's question: I think that it is not "purist" CLW to nightwean. On the CLW board, I don't think people should start "Help me/How to" nightweaning threads, or that they should advise moms in need of encouragement to continue to BF to just nightwean.

I DO think that Nightweaning is part of many of our experiences-good and bad--in attempts to sustain a working nursing relationship. The mere mention of it shouldn't mean the thread ought to be moved. I have gained a lot by reading about the experiences of other moms-- esp. about tandeming/preg. issues.

I nightweaned my son at 18 months. He is now 40 months old and nurses happily throughout the day, and at night when sick/hurt/afraid/etc. I choose to read and post here, and to make myself known. Statements made (and questions directed at me) on this thread would not endear a lurker or newbie to CLW, nor to MDC in general-- so much for a comfortable, respectful atmosphere.

Thanks to those of you who appreciate where I am coming from and who write more diplomatically than I. Nursing has been going quite well the past few months after a spell of really bad toddler latch.

[taosmom]

First Post-so glad you're here!

Hi! We're still night-nursing at 15 mo. and both my partner and I are into it for as long as my son likes. Here's the thing-my ped. says it's bad for his teeth...I say how is the milk bad for his teeth at night but not during the day?! It's sits there the same amount of time, doesn't it? Anyway-thanks so much for being here, I was feeling very alone because I'm part of another e-mail list that are ALL night-weaning and it just felt really wrong for me as I feel that he will choose when he's ready to let go. Thanks for listening and any thoughts would be appreciated!

[MamaTT]

Personally, I don't care what label I wear - but I certainly identify more with CLW than I do with other philosophies, but the tone of you-can't-claim-CLW-status if you did this or that really turns me off to this board.

:

[MMP]

Originally Posted by mother_sunshine

I've said this before, but putting too stringent of a definition on child-led weaning is defeating the whole ideal (and perhaps not understanding) the base idea that children will ultimately fully wean in their own time, gentle limits and all. Those who try to be perfect, from start to finish, are setting themselves up for failure, imo. And expecting other mothers to do the same would be excluding a lot of mothers who can give and receive a great deal of much-needed support here.

I have also come for support and am afraid to post b/c my opinions may not be identical to others. I believe in CLW, my definition of it I guess, and want a place of encouragment and celebration for how long and how well we have nursed our older children. Few other places is there such a group of women...I am getting myself in trouble I think support should be first, not judgement.