When I *know* I'm not pregnant, can I drink??

[StarMama]

Hi everyone, hope someone can give me some assistance here...

I've done a good job with getting myself ready for a baby. Quit smoking 3 years ago, quit caffine, ect. During this 2ww I have not partaken from anything that could harm a forming babe.

I always assumed that if af shows up, between af and next ovulation I wouldn't harm anything if I had a few drinks for fun with Dh.

Now a friend tells me that you should clear out all harmful substances 3 months before even starting ttc. This would be to "keep the kid from having ADHD and/or problems". A doctor told her friend this.

Sounds kinda odd to me... but I'm gonna do whatever I need to, to keep my body baby friendly. So please, can anyone tell me if this is true or not??? If it takes awhile for us to get me pregnant, I'd like to if I can or can't indulge during those moments I know things weren't happening.

Oh yeah and no way with me would af start and it not be af, but pregnancy. I've gone through 6 tests so far this month already!

Thanks for any help!

[tara]

I can't see any reason why you can't have a drink in between when you get AF and when you know you're fertile... I sure did! Maybe doctors say that because they 1) don't trust that you know when you're fertile and 2) don't trust that if you have a drink now and then you'll stop when you shouldn't be??

[simonee]

I don't see why you couldn't have a drink, either. They probably say it so they won't have to create a "cut-off" for people who can't control themselves. Like, 8 drinks a day is wrong, but maybe 2 drinks a day 2 days in a row is okay, KWIM? How about 2 drinks 8 days in a row, or 8 drinks a day, someone could ask. So they stay safe by saying don't drink at all.

To be honest, saying that ADHD is created by hte mother's body during the early weeks of pregnancy sounds like a big guilt-tripping patriarchic bunch of crapola to me!

[Clarity]

TTC is stressful enough without worrying about that...I agree sounds like the outcome of our insistence on things being black and white, or inability to define moderate (plus a little dash of "blame mom" for any issue with a child.) A few glasses of wine sound like a good idea...I might pass on the pitcher of margaritas or the jello shooters. But I don't like being drunk, either...I always feel like it takes a few days to recover, and when TTC, I try to keep myself in a pretty generally healthy state.

[owensmom]

I quit drinking all together, and after 6 unsuccessful months I said screw it! and when AF showed up I would greet her with a beer. Once I knew I'd O'd and through the 2ww I would not drink. I think it did help mentally, I could feel "normal" and forget about it for a couple weeks.

[StarMama]

Thanks for all the advice! I thought it sounded like hooey too, but wanted to make sure I wasn't just missing some vital information...

owensmom, thats exactly what I want to do. Well not with a beer, but I want to make myself feel better when af shows up by allowing myself a treat. Kind of trying to keep my high hopes and expectations down to half the month at least!