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Anyone EXCLUSIVELY babywear? - Page 2

post #21 of 118
Ok, I have to say this. I wore my babies a lot, in and out of the house. My youngest came to work with me and spent 6-8 hours in ths sling a day, nursing, sleeping, and playing. I'm all about babywearing. But I also had, used, and L-O-V-E-D the bucket seat. None of my kids hit 20 lbs before a year, and I was sad to have to switch from the bucket when they finally did. I only kept them in it when they were asleep, but in no way do I think it harms a sleeping baby to be let alone when they are happily sleeping in the seat. My oldest child cried just about every moment that he wasn't nursing or sleeping, and one of the only ways he would happily fall asleep was in the car. If you think I had any intention of even risking waking him up to take him out of the seat, you are crazy.

My second was only 14 months when #3 was born (yes, I got pg 5 months PP, exclusively bf with no AF), and he was not even walking yet. When we went places like ped appointments, I would often put #2 on my hip in the sling, and leave sleeping #3 in her seat and strap it onto the handy little universal seat stroller (doesn't have it's own seat like a big travel system, it's just for holding the bucket) so I could manage the two of them plus my 4 yo ds on my own.

I agree that babies shouldn't be kept in buckets all the time, but my philosophy on child-rearing is that if they seem ok, they are ok. I wouldn't leave a crying baby in the bucket. But if you saw me when my baby happened to be asleep in the bucket, and my dh and I were enjoying a very rare and much-needed quiet lunch out, for example, would you assume I was some horrible mother who just lugged her baby around in the bucket all day? When in fact, I'm an avid babywearer and have taught and helped hundreds of parents to babywear? You just never know.

I am an API leader, and I believe whole-heartedly in AP. I'm also a mother of three babies who have all been totally different in temperment and need, and also a woman who has befriended many, many new mothers during the course of formerly owning an AP business. And what all that has taught me is that having babies is very hard for many of us. Especially the first one. The first year with the first baby is, IMHO, one of the hardest transitional periods any of us will ever experience. It turns your life upside down and changes everything. Marriages fail, meds are prescribed, internet addictions are born (lol). I do think than AP and especially babywearing can make a lot of that easier, but holding yourself to a checklist of rules most certainly will not. If never using a stroller works for you, that's great. But refusing to ever use a stroller, or bucket, or bouncy seat, or swing, or whatever just on the sheer principal that you are too good a mother for all that is, IMNSHO, just as bad as rigidly adhering to any other parenting philosophy.

"What doesn't bend, breaks." -Tao te Ching
post #22 of 118
Well, I never said to rigidly adhere to babywearing, I am not a proponent of dogma of any type. But I really believe buckets are as unnatural as formula. What's wrong with that? Yes... the first year of babyhood is very hard for nearly everyone but that doesn't change my opinion of babies in artifical holding devices.

Plus, I don't think anyone here said they judge people who leave their babies in the buckets for quick jaunts. I, personally, have no problem when a baby is in a bucket but is still engaged with the family or mom. I DO have a problem when I see the baby on the floor while the family eats, or the baby in the back of the grocery cart, or the baby in a bucket covered by a blanket. And of course, my all time favorites: Baby crying in bucket while mom shops and baby in bucket with propped bottle.

Maybe I am jaded because I live in the most mainstream place in the universe. I see another babywearer (not counting friends) maybe 3 times a year. More often I see babies on the floor facing the wall while mom and dad eat. Seriously, we just got back from a 30 minute trip for breakfast where I saw 3 babies in buckets. I have post-traumatic bucket syndrome.
post #23 of 118
I just felt like I needed to point out that comments like "I HATE those things... man, I am so sick of seeing sad little bucket babies." can come across as being judgemental, when in fact you may be seeing a baby in a buckt that is very rarely in there. I do understand the frustration of living in a very non-AP, mainstream place, and I did agree that buckets can be and often are misused and over-used. But as far as an "artificial holding device," to me it's just a Moses Basket that's not as pretty and can go in the car. That was how I used it (except not for the baby to intentioanlly sleep in, like at night. Although that works well for some reflux babies who need to be kept upright after night feedings).

I think I just have a fear that sometimes, in advocating for babies, we can lose sight of the fact that we don't always know what is going on with the mom, or that we might be seeing someone at the low point of a very difficult day. Babies' needs are very real and very important, especially the need for loving contact. I'm not refuting that in any way, and again, obviously I am a huge advocate of babywearing. I just think we sometimes need to extend a little lovingkindness in our minds when we see parents at less than optimal parenting moments, and not always assume that what we are seeing is totally representative of how they care for their baby the rest of the time.
post #24 of 118
Yeah, but you know... sometimes it's nice to have a place to vent when you really can't vent anywhere else because no one else understands. This being a babywearing advocacy forum I didn't think I needed to preface every statement with a non-judgemental prelude. Forget it, I'll just keep it to myself in the future.
post #25 of 118
Sheena, please don't be upset. I really did not mean to hurt your feelings, and I do see your point about needing a place to vent. I think I've just been sort of ruminating on the anti-bucket posts for a while, and finally decided to speak up. I didn't mean to make you feel like your opinion needed to be censored.
post #26 of 118
I have a question and while it seems to be somewhat on topic I'll ask it here. I'm relatively new to baby wearing. I wear my daughter almost all of the time at home and when we are out. But I never would have thought to not use a child safety seat when in a vehicle. Am I correct in understanding that many people don't use carseats? And I am by no means being judgemental. Just curious.
post #27 of 118
NO, it is NEVER ok not to have the baby in a carseat in the car. People are just saying they don't use the bucket-style seats outside of the car as a carrier seat. I don't think anyone here drives with their baby in a sling, as well they shouldn't.
post #28 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tupelo Honey
Sheena, please don't be upset. I really did not mean to hurt your feelings, and I do see your point about needing a place to vent. I think I've just been sort of ruminating on the anti-bucket posts for a while, and finally decided to speak up. I didn't mean to make you feel like your opinion needed to be censored.
Eh, it's me. I'm caustic and always have been and today I have PMS so I'm just being over sensitive. Sorry for snapping at you.
post #29 of 118
Thread Starter 
Original poster here back for some clarifications!

#1 OF COURSE we always keep the baby in the car seat when driving. There are manufacturers who make infant car seats that do not come out of the car -- no bucket. Like the Britax Marathon. We have had this convertible, non-bucket style seat since DS was born. That is why we never used a baby bucket. I looked at them in the store while I was preggo -- and they seemed hard to carry even empty. So I knew it wasn't for me.
Like I said - I have it down to an art, DS falls asleep in the car seat all the time and I can easily get him out and into the Ergo and he stays fast asleep.

#2 The post was not meant to be a criticism of those who use strollers and buckets -- I just wanted to hear from other swho have done without - se how they have faired?

Much of the reason we don't have the typical contraptions is because we live on a boat and don't have space. But having gone 13 months without now, I realize how they are not really "must haves" and how easily you can do without. If you never had it, you don't miss it!

This is not supposed to be a debate -- just a roll call and hey let's share experiences in baby wearing day in and day out!
post #30 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlightlyCrunchyMom
I have a question and while it seems to be somewhat on topic I'll ask it here. I'm relatively new to baby wearing. I wear my daughter almost all of the time at home and when we are out. But I never would have thought to not use a child safety seat when in a vehicle. Am I correct in understanding that many people don't use carseats? And I am by no means being judgemental. Just curious.
No, that's not what I meant. We used a convertible carseat, a Britax Roundabout... it doesn't have a bucket seat.
post #31 of 118
We're a big baby wearing family here too though we also use and love our stroller. We don't have an infant car seat, just a convertable and our daughter does all of her daytime sleeping on us in carriers or just in our arms at home.

We use our stroller when we're going on LONG walks where we're running errands and buying groceries. We time them for nap time and our daughter falls asleep in the stroller almost immediately, we get our errands done and then when she wakes up she comes into one of our carriers and we do the shopping and fill up the stroller with groceries :LOL

We picked our stroller to introduce our daughter to our stroller very carefully so that we would be able to introduce our daughter to the many activities that we participate in as safely as possible. It will convert to a bike trailer when our daughter is big enough to bike next summer (she needs to be a year old to be safe) and also has a ski attachment (we do a lot of cross country skiing here) and will be a safer option for us when we skate next winter (we live in Ottawa and the canal in the middle of the city is turned into an 8 km skateway each winter...)

We also find that we just get so sore with just our carriers sometimes especially since we walk for almost all of our errands. We do love babywearing though and I would say we're probably a 90% of the time baby wearing family and we love every minute of it
post #32 of 118
Hiya boatbaby!

We have gone out more than 200 times with Jett, certainly and have used the snooty expensive umbrella stroller that MIL gave us exactly twice. (We hated it and desperately wish it was a useful jogging stroller so we could go run or rollerblade.) So, we're in the >99% category of babywearing.

We use an adjustable sling and a mei tai. I checked out that frameless backpack you were talking about and want to see one in person...it may suit us for our short hikes.

Our attempts at baby strollering were so fraught with annoyance that I can't foresee the next time we'll use the damned thing. So, from a while back, we are 100% babywearers.
post #33 of 118
I have unapologetically owned and used all sorts of baby holding devices from swings to slings! Happy kids, happy mama, happy trails! No dull lost expressions, no propped bottles while mama sips cabernet, etc.

This thread made me a little nervous ... seeming a bit like competitive mothering, y'know? How AP are you? I carried my twins and tandem nursed until they entered kindergarten! Oh yeah, well I carried my toddler in a sling through nine months of pregnancy and breech delivery (homebirth! in water!) Really, well my triplets have never been out of physical contact with me ever, and they are fifteen now! :LOL

I love when we support each other in making choices that work well for our families!
post #34 of 118
well said pamelamama! i use carriers, a bucket, a jumperoo, whatever works for my babe. she loves her jumperoo more than anything except her mama.

that said, back to the op. i am now pretty much exclusively wearing/carrying my babe, except i do haul out her carseat and snap it into the stroller if she is sleeping as she will not stay asleep if i move her into a sling. also, she's not that keen on slings/mei tais/wraps for long periods of time, so i usually just end up with her in my arms.
post #35 of 118
I'm not trying to critisize anyones choices, but I have noticed a glazed over look on babies in buckets. However, I think these are the babies that get left in the buckets 24/7. Every time I am out I see babies crying in their strollers and mothers ignoring them, or just trying to rock the stroller. I have a problem with this, why don't they pick up their baby? Artifical holding devices have their place, but they shouldn't be a babysitter.

I get critisized for babywearing all the time. My own mother says it is not healthy and I need to put my ds in a stroller. This is the one place where I felt I could share my love for babywearing and say how I really felt. I didn't think we were having a "I'm more crunchy" competition. I don't think anyone here would leave a baby in a bucket 24/7.

There is a big differnce between using holding devices exclusively and using them occasionally. I don't see anything wrong with using artifical holding devices if the baby is happy and playing, but if the baby is upset - that's a different story. My ds has a swing and loves it, he reaches for it when he wants to go in it.
post #36 of 118
DD was not in a stroller until she was almost 3 and then rarely. We used a "baby bucket" as a carseat but only carried her in it to/from the house because of cold etc. She was never carried in it or placed in it otherwise.

I found the stroller to be very useful when she was heavier and we were walking long distances or in inconvient areas (i.e. hot Vegas days and she is eating ice cream) so we have a jogging stroller and umbrella stroller.

I don't understand why anyone would use a stroller (minus jogging or physical needs) on a small light child, so we just never did.
post #37 of 118
I did that for a while with my first baby. I did have a carseat, but it stayed in the car- I never carried her in it.

I didn't even buy a stroller until she was 6mo, and even then we didn't use it all that much. What was happening was that we'd walk to friends' homes on Shabbat, and she'd fall asleep in the sling, and I wouldn't have anyplace to put her down (on the floor wasn't safe with the hosts' children running around!) Also, it was getting hot out and it was often too hot for BOTH of us to have her in a sling or hip carryer.

I started using the stroller a LOT when she was about 10mo and I was pg again- I even bought an umbrella stroller to keep in the trunk of the car (since I had trouble lifting the bulkier stroller we already had.) When my 2nd dd was born, I found it easier to push a double stroller than to push a single stroller while wearing a baby in the sling- besides, often the infant would be content in the stroller and the toddler needed attention, plus she was born in the late spring and it was just too darn hot to wear her on long trips!!!

When I was expecting my 3rd, I bought a brand new sling and a used stroller. Both got plenty of use. By then, I was less worried about doing everything "right" (according to Dr Sears, LLL, etc) and more practical. I actually set up a crib (in my bedroom) before he was born, and it even got used on a fairly regular basis.
post #38 of 118
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pamelamama
I have unapologetically owned and used all sorts of baby holding devices from swings to slings! Happy kids, happy mama, happy trails! No dull lost expressions, no propped bottles while mama sips cabernet, etc.

This thread made me a little nervous ... seeming a bit like competitive mothering, y'know? How AP are you? I carried my twins and tandem nursed until they entered kindergarten! Oh yeah, well I carried my toddler in a sling through nine months of pregnancy and breech delivery (homebirth! in water!) Really, well my triplets have never been out of physical contact with me ever, and they are fifteen now! :LOL

I love when we support each other in making choices that work well for our families!

Once again - this is NOT a competition. We are in the BABY WEARING THREAD. So why would we get into the other gadgets? Why is it that mamas who exclusively cloth diaper or breast feed are ok around here -- but if you start wanting to JUST CHAT about exclusively doing some other form of AP parenting -- people get defensive?

I don't think asking about exclusive babywearing in a babywearing forum is "competitive mothering"...
I JUST wanted to exchange chat and ideas with other mamas who had gone through babyhood full time babywearing...
Isn't that what this place is all about -- a safe place to discuss natural parenting choices with other like minded mamas?

This is supposed to be a fun chat for sling junkies!
post #39 of 118
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatbaby
Once again - this is NOT a competition. We are in the BABY WEARING THREAD. So why would we get into the other gadgets? Why is it that mamas who exclusively cloth diaper or breast feed are ok around here -- but if you start wanting to JUST CHAT about exclusively doing some other form of AP parenting -- people get defensive?

I don't think asking about exclusive babywearing in a babywearing forum is "competitive mothering"...
I JUST wanted to exchange chat and ideas with other mamas who had gone through babyhood full time babywearing...
Isn't that what this place is all about -- a safe place to discuss natural parenting choices with other like minded mamas?

This is supposed to be a fun chat for sling junkies!
:
post #40 of 118
[QUOTE=Rowdypea]Of course we use our stroller--what else am I supposed to carry our packages in when my arms are full of a baby? :LOL
[QUOTE]

Yep, this is us! People are always starting at me 'cause I am pushing an empty stroller in the grocery store, but it's only there to carry the groceries home in! :LOL
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