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Surrogacy sites for AP/NFL families?  

post #1 of 26
8/4/05 at 1:50pm
Thread Starter 
I've been looking for answers to this for a while and am not sure where to look or even where to ask. I have wanted to be a surrogate for many years and am looking into it very seriously now, but I'd want to work with a couple with similar AP/NFL values to our own. For instance, I'd want to homebirth assuming there were no complications, and pump breastmilk as long as possible, and hope that the child was being raised in a non-violent way, etc. I think these issues are too important to ignore, and I feel certain there must be couples out there who are looking for the same values... There must be a place for us AP/NFL people to connect! Can anyone point me in the right direction or PM me? Thank you!

PS--Would I be able to find more information if I posted in the infertility forum? I was hesitant to do so in case it was inappropriate, so maybe the mods will know where this best belongs...
post #2 of 26
8/4/05 at 11:03pm
I am intrested in knowing as well.
post #3 of 26
8/18/05 at 9:45pm
I know "CrunchyClark" is carrying baby for a couple. Perhaps you could ask her directly. She is due any day.
post #4 of 26
8/30/05 at 3:53am
Thread Starter 
Thank you Yin Yang. I will give her some time to birth and recover and send her a PM.
post #5 of 26
8/31/05 at 2:41pm
Giraffelovingmama gave birth to a baby for another couple. She's a few months postpartum now. She might have some info for you.

Best wishes.
post #6 of 26
9/5/05 at 12:33am
I have no idea but you might want to ask at these sites

http://www.surromomsonline.com

http://www.allaboutsurrogacy.com

http://everythingsurrogacy.com

http://surrogatemoms.org


I wish I could afford to use a surro
post #7 of 26
9/5/05 at 10:59am
Thread Starter 
Spark, thank you for Giraffelovingmama's name, I had asked her previously if I could PM her about it, but then for the life of me I couldn't remember her name or find the thread!

Satori, thank you for the sites. I have been to some before but appreciate the links to the others. I'm sorry you are struggling to have a baby and hope your journey reaches a happy ending soon.
post #8 of 26
9/6/05 at 4:51pm
Hi! I justed wanted to add myself to this thread so I can find it later. I too have thought long and hard about being a surrogate. And I exactly mirror what the OP says as far the 'conditions' I would set in regards to the birth and raising of the child. I realize that with surrogacy it's not MY child, but I'd still feel responsible as I'd be the one bringing that child into this world.

Satori~Sorry, I'm kind of naive, but what costs are associated with surro?
post #9 of 26
9/7/05 at 12:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrishWSU
Satori~Sorry, I'm kind of naive, but what costs are associated with surro?
It well lets see, the surro gets get $15,000 to $30,000 +plus expenses for her services then you still have the agencies fee's and the lawyers and the medical bills. Your looking at $30,000 - $50,000 easy to pay to use a surro.

Not something a middle class family can afford without breaking the bank.
post #10 of 26
9/7/05 at 11:06am

Costs

OK, I know this is getting a little OT, but holy cow that's a lot! I was thinking about this on my way home from work last night and I realized, Duh! it's gonna cost something to actually acheive the pregnancy and I figured in the cost of prenantal/delivery care. But I never realized that the surrogate mom was paid that much. I figured she'd get some kind of compensation but, wow, $30,000. Is it unheard of or somehow 'bad' for a woman to offer to be a surrogate for much, much less? I guess I really need to research this. Up till now I've always just thought, "Yeah, I'd like to do that" but that's as far as I've gotten.
post #11 of 26
9/7/05 at 11:48am
Thread Starter 
From the reading I've done, there is a broad range of surrogate fees depending on area, surrogate's experience, intended parent's resources, etc.... but it seems that $12,000-18,000 is more common than the fees of $30,000-50,000 which I have seen mentioned for experienced, highly sought-after surrogates. And there are also surrogates who do it for very low fees or just for the cost of their expenses. There are so many factors involved that it is mind-boggling... one more reason that my heart goes out to those who are struggling with infertility. It takes amazing people to navigate and survive all this. Even more reason to want to help!
post #12 of 26
9/7/05 at 1:16pm
I didn't mean the surro got $50,000. I meant total costs involved. You have the cost of IVF which sometimes needs mutiple cycles and I believe thats at least $5,000 per try at the cheapest and I don't think that includes meds, the insurance policy for prenatel care, the agencies costs, lawyer fee's, adoption fee's and the surro herself often has a lot of fee's as well.

Below is just the fee's from 3 different surro's themselves.

$20,000 Base Compensation
$450 maternity clothing allowance @ 12 weeks
$2500 twins etc
$500 for invasive procedures (CVS, D&C, AMNIO)
$2,500 if needing a C-Section
$5,000 loss of reproductive organ resulting from the surro preg/birth
$850 miscarriage, SR/termination of pregnancy
$300 week for DR. ordered bed rest for childcare/housekeeping
all travel/legal/sitter
----------------------------------

As for my compinsation-
$20,000--$5000 to start and $1500 per month
$2,500 for twins
$500 maternity clothes ($750 Twins)
$1,500 c section
$500 advasive procedures
$200 monthly allowance
100% for attorney fees
100% for any childcare, food service, house keeping etc if Dr. ordered bed rest


-------------------------------------

Surrogate compensation $18,000
Maternity clothing $500 ($750 for twins)
Transfer fee $500 for 2
Monthly allowance $200
Twins fee $2,000-3,000
C-Section fee $2,000
Lost Wages 100% if necessary
Amnio/D&C/MC $500 if necessary
Surrogate attor. fees 100%
Life insurance $250-300
Other: Travel/
Housekeeping/ 100% if necessary
Childcare/Food Service




As you can see, this is pretty hefty and could easily double when you add in the other expenses involved. Its way to far out of reach from every day people You'd have to save for years and years and not be trying other options to scrimp every penny to afford a surro I'm not saying its wrong, just out of reach for most people.
post #13 of 26
9/7/05 at 1:18pm
I've always thought of being a surrogate (I am very much the fertile myrtle), but was a little surprised after visiting those sites that surrogacy is prohibited in some states. I guess there are many factors to think of, and it can be a complex situation.

What is the difference between a traditional surrogate and a gestational surrogate?
post #14 of 26
9/7/05 at 1:27pm
why would they need more $ for maternity clothes if they are having twins? I'm not being snarky, just naive. I've really been thinking about this (since a friend of mine mentioned she can't have children).
post #15 of 26
9/7/05 at 1:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilsishomemade
why would they need more $ for maternity clothes if they are having twins? I'm not being snarky, just naive. I've really been thinking about this (since a friend of mine mentioned she can't have children).
You usually end up having to buy another set of clothes because you outgrow the first set and need a bigger size.
post #16 of 26
9/7/05 at 3:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilsishomemade

What is the difference between a traditional surrogate and a gestational surrogate?
A traditional surrogate is one who uses her own egg. A gestational carrier or surrogate is one uses the biological mother's egg or an egg donors egg. In essence a traditional surrogate is a surrogate and an egg donor.

As for the OP, the sites listed above are pretty much the only surrogacy sites I know of. But, if you place an ad or answer an ad you should let the prospective IPs (intended parents) know what you are looking for birth wise and parenting wise.

My last set of IPs were totally cool with a homebirth, but we ended up with a c-section because of complications with one of the twins cords.

Good luck to you!
post #17 of 26
5/13/06 at 3:08am
Probabley a shot in the dark that you are still interested in being a surrogate for another "closet hippy"?
I have 3 precious babes 12, 10, and 6. Boy, girl, girl ....the first was born in the hospital with the steriotypical cookie cutter...drugged birth.....the second...still in the hospital...but with a wonderful doula and sans drugs...my last was born at home with a CNM and what an amazing experience it was...
I nursed all three for a year or more.....the middle one for 2 plus years.
Here is my delima.....unfortunately their father and I divorced after 15 years of marriage. I am 40 and have met a wonderful man (45) who has never had any biological children. We plan to marry after being together for 2 years. I wanted so badly to have a baby with this man, but 2 weeks ago I finally gave up the fight against endometreosis and had a total hysterectomy.
I don't even know how to go about something like this or how it would work....but to have and opportunity to have a child literally birthed into our home would be wonderful.
talk to me or maybe you know others....IVF could be an option. We aren't interested in a surrogate as biological mother as well.
post #18 of 26
5/15/06 at 3:56am
Thread Starter 
PM'ed you.
post #19 of 26
5/17/06 at 3:53am
I know this is an older thread but I posted on Allaboutsurrogacy.com and found many responces to my no ciring, homebirthing ad...
There are others out there!!!!
post #20 of 26
5/17/06 at 12:07pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommaToThree
I know this is an older thread but I posted on Allaboutsurrogacy.com and found many responces to my no ciring, homebirthing ad...
There are others out there!!!!
That's awesome!
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