Originally Posted by absinthe
First I have to be perfectly clear about one thing. The midwife at the birth center reader was reviewing is NOT the same man as the one at the ubercreepy website. Having said that I would like to tell my story.
When I concieved my daughter I went in search of a model of care that was very different from the one under which I birthed the son I gave up for adoption as a teenager. That horrible and abusive hospital birth was a nightmare. I was left feeling physically and emotionally violated. My ob/gyn was a woman and all of the nurses were women and all but one were awful to me.
That being said when I went searching for a midwife attended, nonhospital birth I was totally set on having only women around me. I wanted that feminine sacred mystery thing, I totally agreed with the mechanic metaphor, and being a rape survivor I didn't want to be that vulnerable around a man.
So I contact my local birth center (my only available nonhospital non home option at the time) and they take my insurance Yeah! I make an appointment and love the facility (only 5 minutes from my house!) love the staff too except that one of the midwives is male which kind of wierds me out. Well I figure that with three midwives on staff the odds are with me that one of the women will be catching when I am in labor. I spend the whole pregnancy mentally chanting "Please not David." This is wholly my own baggage as David has never been anything but wonderful to me and at the prenatal visits he has the gentlest hands and voice of any of the midwives. Fast forward to my birth...guess who is catching? Thats right its david. He was wonderful! Everything I could have hoped for and more. No one has ever shown more faith in me or my body. Soo gentle. Truly truly awesome. I also had a great doula, my mom and a very gentle labor nurse with me so no shortage of female energy and support. I had a wonderful waterbirth and the nurse said it was the most beautiful and peaceful birth she had ever seen. The following week my doula attended another couples birth at the center with the midwife I had been praying for catching. She thought it went horribly and found the midwife to be bossy and controlling, everything I didn't want.
Any day now I will be giving birth to my son in that very same birth center and you know what I have been chanting all along? "Please let David be catching. Please let David be catching!"
Actually that is a common problem there. Apparently all of the repeat clients really want David. He is truly an amazing soul.
I've heard that from a lot of other women. He is such a great person.
I would also like to add that I would only be comfortable with a male midwife unless I really got to know him really well. Fortunately, for me, I have had the chance to see David at a birth while I was not the laboring woman. The majority of women do not get this chance.If I hadn't seen him at a birth I probably wouldn't be as comfortable as I would be now.
I also agree with the person that said birth isn't the time to worry about who may or may not be there, whether you want them there or not.
It is all about comfort level and I understand that some women will never be comfortable with a male caregiver. What's cool about D is that he understands this, too and it doesn't bother him.