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30+ TTC August!

post #1 of 239
Thread Starter 
Just realized that it's almost the second week of august.... Lets keep the good luck up!
post #2 of 239
I'm still here. I'll be calling the IF clinic on Monday to see if I can schedule an appointment.

Johanna - if adoption is something that may interest you, don't dismiss it because of the expense. There are A LOT of resources to help defer the costs. That's an option that I am VERY interested in, so I've done a great deal of research. If you would like some links for ways to pay for adoption, PM me.

Jodi, Heather & Celesterra : : : : :

Adina - : : : Still keeping you in my thoughts and thinking thoughts!
post #3 of 239
I guess it is August huh? Wow - summer has gone quickly. Well, sorta quickly, felt like is dragged on a bit....:LOL But that is cause I am away from home and just want to go home.

Just hanging out and waiting.
post #4 of 239
post #5 of 239
Thread Starter 
Adina, I dreamt you were home last night! It was great to 'see' you and hug you!

Johanna, Ry's old boss adopted a baby boy from Spokane (they used to live in seattle) and it was a relatively quick process, and my understanding is that they went through a really reasonable agency. It was an open adoption, and they still have contact with the mother. They RAVED about their experience (and their kid is freaking cute).

I'm going through a phase of really bad dreams, so I'm soooooo tired. I'm ready for a nights sleep that I don't wake up from with anxiety!
Got my new iBook G4 yesterday (yippie for Adina's hubby working at a Mac Store! he helped me 'easily' spend $1500.) So I'll be figuring out how to use it for a while!
post #6 of 239

Foster Parenting

Ok, I've been kicking around a few ideas lately.

Do any of you have any experience (or are close to someone with experience) with foster parenting?

I'm gonna head over to Adoption to peruse, but I thought I'd see what you ladies have to offer first.
post #7 of 239
We were foster parents, DJ's girl. It was an interesting experience. We FPed a teenage girl with whom we still have a good relationship. It was a very stressful (and fulfilling) experience dealing with the bureacracy more than the kids. Lots of paperwork. We were going to adopt and actually had started to visit a ten month old and his newborn sister (he was a child on my caselaod when I worked with kids with developmental delays) when I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant. I could not have 3 kids under two, there was just no way. The agencies REALLY push adopting sibling groups, so go into that knowing their policies. The birthmother had baby #2 just after we had agreed to adopt Domingo and the agency would not let us just adopt him even though we agreed to maintain sibling contact and he had no relationship with her. The child had special needs fer cryin' out loud. He needed some individual attention.

On a side note, I think I ran into them the other day. The were adopted by a a lesbian couple and have an older sister. DS and I were out picking apples when a lesbian couple wlaked by with their three kids. They called the little boy Domingo. . .I just know it was him. I found myself wondering what if. . .
post #8 of 239

Posting to subscribe

Nothing new here, just

to all
post #9 of 239
As you hit I-10 and head east for a ways, you are ushered out of town by an easy to miss but mighty important landmark: Woman Hollerin' Creek. The history of Woman Hollerin' is a long one, archetypal even, her origins, sketchy at best, and, therefore all the more intriguing. The sign is frequently stolen because everyone who noticed her wants a little piece, right?

My picture was taken there once by a friend who didn't understand, who didn't get it, who subsequently lost the photo and has no idea what it would have meant to me.

Next time the sign needs replacing, I'll save the state some money. I will find someone, anyone I can, stop them on I-10 and have the picture taken again. I will blow it up, mural size at leats, so maybe, just maybe someone will see-and hear- that I am SCREAMING.

Can you hear me over there??? I've had it with trying to create life in my body. Life,the life I create, will have to be outside my body, in my garden, in my blankets ,in my cooking, but more than likely not in my womb, not necessarily because it's not possible but because I can no longer be a one woman band and out of self-preservaion I am telling myself it's just not going to happen because HOPE is sometimes too damn painful.

DH went to the doctor with my list of questions, none of which were answered because the doctor wants to do yet another SA. When DH asked him about DNA fragmentation, the doc responded usually people with lower counts have that kind of issue. Did Dh ask him to just sign the ing form? No, of course not. So the test won't be done before we have the visit to the RE (who never returned my three phone calls about signing the DNA frag requisition form anyway) later this month.

In the meantime, if you listen very carefully as you drive down the road you'll be able to make out my hollers, waxing and waning, a train whistling in the distance warning those who dare to cross her tracks.
post #10 of 239
is there hollerin' room for me? i just got back my 2nd beta, and in the words of my nurse, it was "a little low". i am terrified... : just needed a little place to cry...
post #11 of 239
Girl, there is sadly more than enough room for holler-ers. When I scrolled doen and saw you'd posted over here my heart jumped a bit because I feel fiercely loyal and protective of our graduates.

What was it? What are we looking at? Do you have your dates exactly right (if you're off even a little at this point it can make a big difference)?

I am *so* sorry you are in a place of panic right now.
post #12 of 239
i don't have any morning sickness, but i do feel like i'm going to :Puke

last week, on 14dpo, i went in for beta #1, which was in the 40s. they couldn't do the labs on saturday, so i went today at 18dpo, and my level was in the 130s. I guess it should have been around 190 or so. so i have to go back on Wed for another. my date is right. if anything, it could have been 15dpo and 19dpo.

in contrast to me, we have a gal on the april board who's levels, just 2 dpo ahead of me, are well into a thousand.

i'm just so scared b/c my only other pg was a disasterous ectopic. and because my symptoms have been increasing, i was so excited.

here's a link i've been looking at for normal hcg levels. http://www.conceivingconcepts.com/le...icles/hcg.html

thanks for listening, and for caring. i'm just so scared that this dream is going to be taken away again...
post #13 of 239
Thread Starter 
Celeste. I'll be holding vigil till you know something. Holler your heart out.

Ary, You are brilliant with words. I could use a hollerin place myself right now.
post #14 of 239
celeste! hang in there and come back and vent some more if you need to!
ary, you have a way with words-i think i hear you hollering in Maryland, freakin doctors
korin, sorry you need to holler, too...
post #15 of 239
oh celeste i'm so sorry your going thru this. with my last pregnancy in February i had my beta levels checked several times in the very beginning. they had all looked good, not great, but well within the doubling range. i obsessed over the #'s - other women on this board and at fertility friend had such great #'s and mine were never quite as high as i would have liked. this time i chose not to have any blood drawn b/c i didn't want to repeat the insanity of last time. i am not saying that my choice is right for everyone so please don't feel like i'm judging you or anyone else that chooses to do beta levels. try to keep the hope.....beta levels only tell a small part of the story....i remember reading of women that had much lower beta levels than mine that went on to have healthy pregnancies.

now, i'm wondering about doing the u/s this week. last time it was the u/s that gave us the clue that something was wrong. i'm scheduled to do it this wednesday but there's a small part of me that likes assuming everything is fine. i'm thinking i will go ahead with it, but we'll see...

hugs to you Celeste - know we're all thinking of you

ary - you're a beautiful writer....i love the part about self-preservation. it's amazing how infertility has introduced me to self-preservation. i no longer engage in certain conversations b/c i know it will lead to the inevitable, "so when are you having another?" i have changed my schedule at work b/c it's just to painful to see pregnant patients. now i just see only gyn patients. when new babies come in and everyone in the office goes over to ooohhh and aaahh over them i head for my office. it's all about self-preservation. unfortunate but true. may we all leave this place very soon....
post #16 of 239
thx, guys... what a freaking drama this is! squeak, i've been saying all day that i wish i hadn't heard the numbers, but there's no going back now! let us know about the u/s! i'll have my next beta on wed, so there'll be lots to share.

i did my yoga tonight (no twisting!) and am trying to get back into my peaceful place. deep down i feel like this one's going to stick... i just hope i'm right!

thanks again all, for taking me back! it's harder to share scary news on the due date thread! gah! and i feel like i know all of you so much better, anyway, than most of the group over there.

whatever dust i have, here it is, for all of you!
post #17 of 239
Celesterra, I'm glad you are being kind and gentle to yourself. There is a huge range of variation in beta numbers, so I don't even know why they would tell you such a thing. I've heard of people who were slow starters beta-wise going on to have big, beautiful,healthy babies. Conversely, I had great betas and lost a baby. There is more to the story than we will ever know, and I think there is something to be said for doing your yoga and acting "as if" your reality is how you want it to be.

Thank you for the support about my writing. I share with you all things that come from my heart. I have had some minor successes with publishing and hope to continue on with it. It's not about money. It's about being heard and striking a chord in others who can say, "My God, I'm not the only one". Right now I'm looking for a market for sufferers of "angry thirtysomething woman syndrome", but haven't found my niche yet. I have often wished there was a Trying To Concieve magazine but who would read it in public? Who would want to purchase a yearly subscription (after all, normal people procreate without trying). All I know is I could fill the pages.
post #18 of 239
Thread Starter 
Hillary, i'm so in! I'll write something with you! A book! with each chapter by a different writer. Yeah!
post #19 of 239
celeste, my thoughts are with you. i think its great to move forward with positive intention.

i have two questions for all of you -- how do you find a good fertility doc? i'm in portland, or so if you have specific names of docs to call or avoid, please send 'em my way.

what happens at your first appointment? dh has already gone for sa which came back with low motility. our primary care physician did the interpretation. i haven't had any tests, just done my charting for nearly year now.

post #20 of 239
Thread Starter 
Ursula Rose - I'm in portland too... (we should meet sometime) I see Dr. Matteri at Portland Center for Reproductive Medicine. I think he's great. The center has a great reputation, and people come from all over the country for some of their services. I have some patients who have used OHSU. Some were happy, some not.
Our first visit (consult) with Matteri was mainly talking... then planning what tests needed to be run, and when we'd get going. When you go in, take copies of all tests you've had done so they know what not to repeat. Since you've had some male factor results, I'd ask for a full male factor panel.
PM me if you want to meet, or if you have other questions!
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