Cesarean Section Support Thread August 2005

[OnTheFence]

This thread is for support only and not to debate the necessity of cesarean birth. This is a place to moan, complain, bitch, mourn, share the joy, thoughtful decision, cesarean birthplans, etc and all are welcome!

[OnTheFence]

Everyone check in!

I am now six weeks post partum from my third csection. Yesterday I went to have an IUD inserted, believing this would be the best form of birth control until we could decide 100% that we wanted no more children. Unfortunately it did not work out. My cervix has never dilated, and it appears to be small. They couldn't even get the "tool" in my cervix to dilate it enough to insert the IUD. It was some of the worst pain I have experienced and I nearly passed out, twice. My OB tried several times and finally said there was no way she could do it. Of course I was in pain and my husband was saying "She really doesn't have to have one, I'll just go get snipped."

So now I am bleeding and cramping again. Ugh.

And after yesterday, abstinence is going to be our birthcontrol.

[malibusunny]

checking in...

[SKK]

Hi everyone,

Just checking in. I'm doing fairly well. I didn't participate much in the last thread, but I did lurk and read alot. Some days, I feel like I've totally accepted my c-births and am OK with them. Other days I just feel hostile about it. Particularly when people make stupid comments. Like "what would have happened to you 100 years ago???" Ugh.

Anyway, I could write more, but my cat is nudging my hand with his nose, making typing particularly difficult.

[greenmansions]

sorry double post

[greenmansions]

Yah, checking in. Still "analyzing" my c/s and trying to figure out whether to go that route this time or VBAC. Not easy to decide anyway, and no support at home or from extended family for VBAC, never mind my own uncertainty about it.

sorry to hear about your IUD problem onthefence. But abstinence just ain't no fun! Hope you find another way.

[chantald]

Finally found the new thread!!! :

Originally Posted by SKK

Hi everyone,

Just checking in. I'm doing fairly well. I didn't participate much in the last thread, but I did lurk and read alot. Some days, I feel like I've totally accepted my c-births and am OK with them. Other days I just feel hostile about it. Particularly when people make stupid comments. Like "what would have happened to you 100 years ago???" Ugh.

Sue
I can totally relate.. More days than not, I am now feeling ok with my sections.. but other days thinking about them can get me down.. tho it seems to be getting better

Hello to everyone!!

Chantal

[Henry's_Mamma]

Hello ... I'm now almost 21 months post-c/b and I'm doing ok with it. I seem to have no residual problems (except for excruciating periods and ovulations, which I think is just due to bfing hormones).

We're going to start ttc #2 sometime this fall in hopes of a summer or fall 2006 baby. I would like a VBAC, but in all honesty, I see many advantages to a planned r/c/s and am not completely closed off to the idea as I once was. I think I will just have to wait and see how I feel once I'm actually pregnant! I have a supportive mw, as well as family and friends, so the decision is really up to me. I guess my qualms are that I'd prefer an HBAC (but have no mw to attend), and if I have to go to the hosp. and deal with all the protocol, well I might as well just have a r/c/s, if that makes any sense.

So ... sometime this fall or winter I will hopefully have happy news and you all can listen to me bitch and moan and complain and whine about having to make this decision!

PS: Kim ... sorry about the IUD issues. I hope you find a more fun solution to abstinence ...

[Storm Bride]

Hi, Kim - sorry to hear about the problems with your IUD. I hope you and your dh can work out something for birth control soon. Abstinence wouldn't be my preferred route!

And, hi everybody. Just checking in. It's 12 days since my 3rd section, and I've been better.

We moved yesterday, which unfortunately highlighted all the things I hate about c-sections. My SIL got on my case for moving a doll stroller out of the way when the guys were bringing in the washer and dryer...the thing weighs maybe a pound. I spent the whole day looking after Evan and letting people know when Emma was taking off as I still can't pick her up or anything. I listened to everybody joking around and having fun - you know that "work party" kind of camaraderie. I just felt so low not being part of it. The feeling that I'm completely useless is becoming overwhelming and it's bringing me down badly. DH has spent days packing, and now he's spent the whole weekend moving us and unpacking a lot of boxes. I'm still just breastfeeding Evan and yelling for help with Emma.

My oldest son's summer vacation has been really blown by the fact that I've needed so much help with his sister. (Emma's an extremely spirited young lady, and has been really wound up with me being gone for three days in the hospital, the new baby coming home, the move, and me not letting her climb on me and not picking her up.)

And, I just keep thinking that if I'd just stuck to my guns a little longer (and risked losing my doctor) or if my useless body had just gone into labour a day sooner, it wouldn't have happened. My SIL, whose last baby was 10lb., 1oz., told me yesterday that I was "lucky you didn't have to push out a 10-pounder". I half wanted to burst into tears and half wanted to hit her. I wanted to push out this 10-pounder more than I've wanted anything in a long, long time. And, maybe I am lucky....but the point is that I don't know, and I'm never going to. I think the realization that I'm never going to know what giving birth actually feels like is finally sinking in, and I'm not dealing with it well at all.

I'm more mobile and having a "better" recovery than with either of my others. (If dh and I have another baby, I'm going to insist on labour first - I hated the planned section with Emma the worst of any of my "births". But, that fourth baby is still very much up in the air and not looking likely.) However, my incision is not healing that well. I had to have a second set of steri-strips put on last Wednesday, and they came off today. The incision still stings, and doesn't seem to have closed up. I also think it might be seeping a little...guess I'll get my doctor to look at it during Evan's well baby checkup on Wednesday.

Anyway - we might get out computer hooked up tonight. The internet connection was done this afternoon, but I'm currently using dh's work laptop. If the computer doesn't get set up tonight, I won't be around until tomorrow evening. Thanks again for reading my rambling rants, ladies....

[WriterMama]

Given the high probability that I will be having a c-section, can I ask a few questions?

How long was it before you felt normal? Normal as in, could pick up your toddler, drive a car, clean a house, stand up and sit down like you did pre-section, etc? How long did it take to get your energy back?

In complete honesty, how long did it take for your incision to feel *completely* normal, as in no numbness, pulling, odd pain, etc?

When could you have sex again?

What are your suggestions for a quicker and better recovery? What do you wish you had known prior to your c-section(s)?

Thanks

ETA one more question: Assuming you had a non-emergency C-section, how long before your edd was it scheduled?

[Storm Bride]

I'm 12 days post-section - my third.

I could drive after five days, but only short distances.

I can't pick up my toddler yet, and probably won't until the six week mark. It might be safe a little bit before that, but I have no way to know until I try...and I don't want to rip anything out.

I could stand up and walk a little after about 24 hours, but that's just the "walk around the ward" and going to the bathroom stuff. A 5-minute walk to the grocery store today totally exhausted me.

I've found sex too painful (ie. pulling at the stomach) to the 2-month mark with both my previous sections.

The pain in my incision was gone after six weeks with my first section, but numbness remained for months. With my second one, there wasn't much numbness, but I had some pain until about six months post-partum.

There are a lot of variables, and mine have all been different. I can't think of much that I would have changed if I could go back in time...except that I would have been a very "difficult" patient about having my baby with me immediately after the surgery. I had that this time, and it did make a big difference.

[chantald]

Originally Posted by WriterMama

Given the high probability that I will be having a c-section, can I ask a few questions?

How long was it before you felt normal? Normal as in, could pick up your toddler, drive a car, clean a house, stand up and sit down like you did pre-section, etc? How long did it take to get your energy back?

Initially, I think it took me 9 weeks to feel normal in the way you describe.. At 9 weeks I remember feeling like things were all coming together nicely and I was starting to feel back in "control" again
As far as walking.. I was up and about a few hours after my surgery. Sitting was fine.. getting up out of the couch hurt for some time..

In complete honesty, how long did it take for your incision to feel *completely* normal, as in no numbness, pulling, odd pain, etc?

2 years...

When could you have sex again?

around 8 weeks pp

What are your suggestions for a quicker and better recovery? What do you wish you had known prior to your c-section(s)?

There is a nice white paper on planning a family centered c/s I can email you. Other suggestions I have are, take it easy, let others do the work around the house and just rest and focus on recovery. Ask for help..


Anyone see the newest study on Double Layer sutures and reduction in adhesions and scarring? I have the text of it if anyone wants it. To sum it up, as I understand it, many Drs are not using double layer sutures and that causes more adhesions and scarring internally which can put future pregnancies at risk and also cause lots of post op pain for a long time. The authors seem to have found that those women who had double layer suturing had less adhesions and less scarring..

I know that this seems true for me. I had double layer sutures for both C/S and no issues with adhesions and the Dr said internal scarring at the incision site was minimal from #1 when he was in there for #2..


Chantal

[Mama Coltrane]

Hello everyone- introducing myself here. I am 39 weeks pregnant with my second child. I have a VBAC planned, but I am ready for anything that may come our way. My first c section went well. I would love to avoid surgery this time though. We'll see.... I have an awesome family practitioner and am giving birth at a birthing center in a hospital. I have a doula too who is coming to the house early labor and joining us at the BC mater on.
My first c section came after about 60 hours of labor and 8 hours of pushing. Wow- it was a marathon. DS was posterior and not budging. It wasn't an emergency and I was treated with great respect. The birthing center I had DS in is very hip to mother/baby bonding, nursing, etc.
I keep writing this everywhere and reminding myself something that someone wrote on these MDC boards. " Empowered birth takes many forms. " It is so true. That is my mantra as I enter into this next labor and birth.
Wish me luck. I will keep you posted.
- Kerri

[Boof]

:

[LisaG]

Signing up.

[Iriemama96]

Hello all...
well, I have decided to have a VBAC. Although I am terrified. So many unknowns. I am very concerned about baby being posterior and not being able to take the pain. Last time I had an epidural at like 17 hours, with horrible back labour and ds #1 wasn't even posterior. This time around I am already in pain at 37 weeks.
My concern is that I will not be able to handel it and end with an epid. again. Anyone have any suggestions as far as dealing with the intense pain of labour goes?

[OnTheFence]

Originally Posted by WriterMama

Given the high probability that I will be having a c-section, can I ask a few questions?

How long was it before you felt normal? Normal as in, could pick up your toddler, drive a car, clean a house, stand up and sit down like you did pre-section, etc? How long did it take to get your energy back?

In complete honesty, how long did it take for your incision to feel *completely* normal, as in no numbness, pulling, odd pain, etc?

When could you have sex again?

What are your suggestions for a quicker and better recovery? What do you wish you had known prior to your c-section(s)?

Thanks

ETA one more question: Assuming you had a non-emergency C-section, how long before your edd was it scheduled?

With my last two csections I felt pretty good by the end of the first week. With my 2nd csection I was driving 7 days post partum, I had a toddler and let him crawl into my lap, I did not pick him up. I was having sex three weeks post partum both times. This past csection, the one I had six weeks ago, I waited to drive and do other things until week 3. However I was released to drive, vacuum, take a bath, etc at 2 weeks post partum. I have resumed my normal life as of now, however I do have some cramping if I do too much. I resumed cleaning my house at 6 weeks post partum the last time, my father hired someone to clean my house as a gift those first weeks which was nice. This time I hired a cleaning girl myself.

The first time it nearly took a year, the second time about 3 months, this time my incision feels great. Keep in mind though my first csection was an emergency and I was hacked up a good bit, these last two were by skilled surgeons in a very planned enviroment.

With my first csection I resumed sex at 4 weeks post partum, these past two three weeks. You really should wait for bleeding to stop (the initial bleeding) and the cervix closed before having sex. Don't want to get an infection. However I felt up to having sex and had the desire to have sex days after my first and third csections.

I think you should read the other thread if you have time. I recommend getting helping, asking for help, and I also recommend sutures throughout, plus taking pain meds before you need them. Eat well, sleep when you can, and try to at least obey the doctors orders for your at home recovery.

I am sure there is more.

Kim

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by OnTheFence

I had a toddler and let him crawl into my lap, I did not pick him up.

You know, I keep reading this...but I have yet to see any suggestions about what to do when your toddler won't climb into your lap. DD usually just wails "I want mommy" over and over and cries and cries. I don't think I can stand much more of it...


Maybe if I pick her up and rip things open again, the surgeons will pull the whole malfunctioning works out and this whole thing will be over. This recovery started off as my best, but it's going downhill fast. I'm almost resenting dh and the kids for keeping me here, because life holds no interest for me right now. Of course, I fully expected the PPD, and I'll get over it...again.

I wonder if it would make a difference if I really believed that any of my sections were necessary in the first place...I think it might. I just feel like a sheep who let the doctors trash my life for no reason at all...

[rn]

Scar tissue question

After reading through this thread I am hoping a few of you who have had more than one c-section may be able to answer this question.

Were any of you told of the status of your scar tissue w/ a second (or 3rd) c-section? I guess I am looking for someone who was told they did have a lot of scar tissue and then went on to have another healthy pregnancy and baby.

I just had my second. I was attempting a HBAC, but never even went into labor. My midwife drove me to the hospital when my baby started showing signs of distress (poor movement and heart rate). After the operation the doctor who did the operation told me that there was a lot of scar tissue and if I got pregnant again I should tell the OB, (for the next c section).

So, I am sort of left in limbo right now, wondering and worrying if a lot of scar tissue that was after one operation is now even more than a lot after the second. I wonder if the scar tissue can prevent me from becoming pregnant again and "growing" another baby? Did any of you multiple c section mamas have this fear?

I should also add that my son died. And I do think my fear is probably made worse by the fact that I am grieving and want nothing more than to be holding my sweet baby in my arms right now.

thanks for any input cesarean goddess women,

~robin

[Ligmom]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

You know, I keep reading this...but I have yet to see any suggestions about what to do when your toddler won't climb into your lap. DD usually just wails "I want mommy" over and over and cries and cries. I don't think I can stand much more of it...


Maybe if I pick her up and rip things open again, the surgeons will pull the whole malfunctioning works out and this whole thing will be over. This recovery started off as my best, but it's going downhill fast. I'm almost resenting dh and the kids for keeping me here, because life holds no interest for me right now. Of course, I fully expected the PPD, and I'll get over it...again.

I wonder if it would make a difference if I really believed that any of my sections were necessary in the first place...I think it might. I just feel like a sheep who let the doctors trash my life for no reason at all...

I only have a minute before I have to go to bed. But I just wanted to send you a , Lisa. I am so sorry you are having such a tough time. Are you seeing someone for your PPD? I know how hard it can be...I had it after all 3 of my kids were born.
Hope you are feeling better soon

OTF--Call me sometime