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Still pees at night...

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
Anyone else been through this?

My almost 5 year old dd still pees at night. I know it is fairly common, but I am needing some support. We have tried all the methods of no fluid before bed rituals etc.. and they don't seem to work. Lately when she wakes up from a wet diaper she is so unhappy with herself for doing it. I have never put her down or got mad at her for doing it. All I say to her is that it is okay and to please go put the diaper in the laundry room and then we will get in the shower and "wash up". In the past week I can tell that she is getting sick wearing diapers at night and would prefer to wear underware, I just don't want to take a chance and be washing bed shets every morning. Any suggestions would be so helpful. Thanks!
post #2 of 25
I don't have any suggestions -- we are in the same boat. Ali was 5 in October and she pees every night. She wears pullups now as they fit much better. She wanted to try wearing underwear at night so I put a plastic matress pad on the bed. She soaked the bed every night and finally gave up.

I really don't know what else to try. :
post #3 of 25
My son Anthony has the same problem. I am happy to hear I am not the only one battling this. He turned five this past December and went into underware that week. We have had him in goodnights up till then. He is a big kid for his age and inturn peed through the pull ups almost every night. He became increasingly discoraged that his younger cousins all wore underware to bed. We monitor his fluid intake, have him pee right before bed and then me or my husband bring him to the bathroom right before we go to bed around 11pm and make sure he pee's. This method has worked well in the last few weeks he has had only a few accidents and they are usually due to things he could not control. Late to bed, holiday parties and his fluids where not watched nearly as closely. He is real happy and yes sometimes it means wet sheets to wash but I'm willing to do the ocassional extra batch for his smile everynight when after bath I don't have to say go get a pull up. Instead he happily pulls on his underware.
I found it very interesting that you both have girls. My pediatrician said it is more common in boys, I always thought he was the only one, like I said both his cousins (both girls) have been in undeware at night since they were around 2. Hope this helps.

post #4 of 25
Another issue I have is that my kids are only 19 months apart, and my 3 1/2 is capable of staying dry all night. Yet she chooses to wear a pullup like her big sister and pees in it. I know that she is just being lazy, rather than lacking the control like my 5 year old. I fear that it is just a bad habit for her, yet if I say anything to her that it will make my 5 year feel worse KWIM?

I haven't tired taking Ali potty a second time at night, I guess I've been worried that it would be hard for her to get back to sleep, or that it would wake up my 3 year old (they sleep together and it is hard for the 3 year old to get to sleep). I think I will give it a try.
post #5 of 25
Just so you know it is hard to get my son awake but not back to sleep. Sometimes it take 3-4 minutes to get him back awake enough so he can pee. Then I walk him back up stairs and tuck him in. Sometimes I think he is asleep before he hits the pillow again. It is hard on the nights I want to go to bed early. My husband forgot once when I was ill and ds had an accident. I felt awful for him, he had such a sad face at 3 am. But we had him pee, cleaned him up and put him in new undie's and in bed with us for the night. Other than mishaps on our parts I think in close to four weeks he has only had 2 accidents. Good luck and let me know how it works.

post #6 of 25
This is probably blatantly obvious, but here goes - make sure to get checked out with the doc. There are medical conditions that can cause this problem like irritable bladder.

post #7 of 25
I also wanted to mention there can be allergies that cause night time wetting. I notice my son even during the day when he eats a food i suspect to be an allergen, he doesnt make it to the bathroom. The book Smarter Medicine for a Healthier child also makes reference to this.
good luck.
post #8 of 25
re: allergies--I've read that dairy allergies are a common cause of bedwetting. My ds is 9 and still wets the bed sometimes. Since we reduced his dairy intake, he wets much less often. (He hates soymilk and was unwilling to give up dairy altogether so he's allowed milk only in the morning so it has time to get out of his system by bedtime.)
post #9 of 25
Hi there,
Just reading these posts brought back such terrible memories for me See, I wet the bed each and every single night until I was 10 years old. Yep, 10! My parents tried everything: doctors, pychiatrists, drugs, old folk remedies, no drinks after 6PM, diapers, no diapers, spanking, punishing, making me do the laundry, and on and on. Fact is (after much research on my part) I found out that many, many, many kids just cannot control their bladders for the length of the night. They physically cannot hold it that long. And restricting liquids too much can result in dehydration which is not good either.
BUT, the problems I had were not with the wetting the bed, it was the emotional problems caused by my guilt and feeling that I had let me parents down, yet again. Even if they didn't say it, I KNEW they wanted me to stop it, and felt I should be able to by now. If they had really and honestly not been worried or upset about it, the peeing would not have bothered me that much. If I had been made to feel like this was not a problem and just something normal that lots of kids have to deal with I might not have felt like such a freak.
Now, my sister, Sarah,(whom I am raising) who is 10 still occassionally wets her bed, but is finally outgrowing it. She has no fluid restrictions and never has, only a reminder to pee before bed. Sure, I had to do lots of laundry. So what? She has always been told it is not her fault, and actually completely beyond her control. She even has a friend her age who also has the same problem. I hope she feels no shame. My son, Nate who is almost four does not wet the bed if we take him to pee around 11 before we go to bed ourselves. He has no fluid restrictions, but if we forget to take him the second time, he often has an accident.
The various research articles I have read all say the same thing. It is a physical thing (like a nine month old not being able to walk yet. She wants to, but she can't.) It also says they will outgrow it, and that it often runs in families. I am prepared for both my kids to pee into their preteen years and plan to just love them. And maybe buy lots of sheets
post #10 of 25
Thread Starter 
2much2do thank you sooo much for the encouraging post. It puts the bed wetting issue much more in to perspective for me. Thank you for sharing your story as a child. It has helped me to better to understand what my own dd might be feeling as well as how to better handle the situation as a parent.

Thanks again!
post #11 of 25
Here's my experience! My dd peed almost every night up till her 5th b-day. We tried everything too. What ended up working was keeping a potty right next to her bed and waking her up to use it once a night. She sleeps hard, but got to a point where she might start peeing but could wake herself up and finish on the potty. I know it's a frustrating thing, but I think they'll come around eventually. I agree that some kids just can't hold it all night. I definately suggest having a potty right near the bed. If you don't want to wake your kid up, at least they know they don't have to go all the way down the hall to the bathroom if they wake on their own. I remember saying to her that I bet by the time she's 5, she'll be able to stay dry at night. (tried to do it positively, no pressure) and sure enough, almost right around her birthday, she started staying dry. I don't know if she had any control over this or not. But good luck and hang in there. It won't last forever!
post #12 of 25
My son is almost 5 and just recently started making it through the night. We finally got to the point where diapers didn't fit anymore, and he is allergic to pull ups. We switched to undies, and did a lot of laundry for a few weeks. We make sure he pees right before bed, even if he went ten minutes earlier. He seemed to just catch on after a few weeks, and hasn't had an accident in over a month. I remember wetting the bed as old as 11, just couldn't wake myself up. I still have dreams that I am on the toilet, now I manage to wake up before I actually pee in the bed. I think the key, if they can't hold it through the night, is to teach them to get up and pee in the middle of the night.

Good luck - Chelsea
post #13 of 25
Thread Starter 
I just wanted to quickly thank everyone for their replies and taking the time to help me out on this...

Thank You!
post #14 of 25
We've tried the potty next to the bed (didn't help) and we tried to live without pullups and do the all the laundry (DD hated it and asked for her pullups back). I don't think it is a food allergry because she eats a varied diet (doesn't have dairy every day) but she pees every night.

But, how long would a child have to go without dairy to rule that out as the problem? Would 1 day be enough? Three days? What do you'all think?

My biggest concern is that eventually another child will make her feel bad. I am afraid that she will want to go to a sleep over or something like that.
post #15 of 25
My oldest son will be 6 the end of March. He still wears an organic diaper with a wool cover at night. We family bed & I just don't want to wake up in a puddle of smelling big boy pee, not to mention the hassle of washing sheets several times a week.

Sometimes he'll go days without waking up wet then he'll have a couple wet mornings in a row. I don't make an issue of it at all. I approach this milestone much like I approach other parenting issues. I figure I let him wean himself when he was ready, eat solids when he was ready, he eats when he's hungry & stops when he's full, I'll let him move out of the family bed when he is ready, & eventually, he'll stop peeing at night. It's not like he's doing it on purpose.

He loves to wake up dry & take his diaper off himself. (It's kind of yucky to him when it's wet.) He doesn't think anything about it. It has never occured to him to feel bad about it. He has asked me when he would stop peeing at night & I just told him when his body is ready it'll stop. That seems to have satisfied him.

I was a bed wetter when I was young & I don't remember what age I stopped. I DO remember feeling sad & feeling like I was disappointing my parents. I remember waking up very cold & wet. I remember stripping my own bed. I remember feeling shame. I don't see why I should put my boys in underwear & set him up for failure. When he wakes up dry more consistantly, we'll move to undies. Anyway, that's what we do at our house.
post #16 of 25
I know where your coming from, I have a six year old he has never gone dry, the only time was when he was very ill and was dehidrated. I felt and still do like it is hopeless. Our doctor says not to worry, that if he still is wetting after he is eight to ten years old then they will consider medication for him. I think it is so embarrassing at times, he cant do sleep overs yet, we would have to send a pull up. It amazes me how many parents are out there with the same thing, but society makes the mother feel like a failure if your child is still wetting the bed.
post #17 of 25
2much2do: My DH needs to read your post. Delia is 5, and wets most nights. He is just so anxious about it for her that his concern crosses the line sometimes. If it's something she will live with for years, he needs to get ahold of his feelings.
We have tried restricting fluids, which helps somewhat. Also, I am on a campaign to get DH to stop buying her Slurpees at 7-11 and stop buying her soda of any kind. I read somewhere that any stimulants, like tea or colas should be avoided, because they are actually diuretics.
She goes right before bed, and takes Hylands bedwetter tablets. I'd like to know if anyone has had any success with these at the proper dosage. She only takes 3 tablets at bedtime, and mostly I do it because it makes her feel like she's in control of this whole thing. We tried having DH carry her to potty when he came in from work, but she's very angry when woken up, and would refuse to cooperate with him, and his fragile ego can't take much more rejection (she's really a momma's girl).
We found, through someone's help on the old boards, Motherease bedwetter pants, and they are the best!! She can easily pull them up or down, and they absolutely have never leaked.
I keep operating under the premise that she will eventually outgrow thus, but that she will never outgrow the shaming about something she cannot control. My sis has done such a number on her 6 year old daughter, that I have an object lesson in what not to do in front of me.
Good luck to all of us struggling with this, and a double dosing of patience!!
post #18 of 25
My 5 yr old dd is going thru it too, I did find this online


it may help
post #19 of 25
I'm considering having ds wear 2 pair of Hanna Andersson training underpants to bed. Maybe even with a fleece cover to start.
post #20 of 25
My older dd has trouble waking when she needs to pee at night, while her little sister has been dry all night since she potty trained. I have explained to both girls that when a kid is able to stay dry all night depends on how fast their bladder grows and how soundly they sleep. So my younger dd isn't praised for staying dry and my older dd isn't blamed for wetting. I have also reminded my older dd a few times that I know she can't help it.

My younger dd has been in underwear for years. I worried about my older dd being upset but she already knew that her little sister didn't wet the bed and she did, so keeping my younger dd in pull-ups she didn't need wouldn't have done anyone any good.

It can be frustrating to do all that laundry, but at least we don't have to take it all down to the river and beat it on a rock, LOL!

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