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Support for Mindful Mamas! - Page 3

post #41 of 98
Thread Starter 
El~ I know just what you mean about going off and then the next day being better. And it is nice to have a place to go and rant when it seems like no one else gives a rip or understands or wants to understand. I'm having one of those moments with dh and I want to go off so bad! But after reading your post I'm going to try to take some more deep breaths and stop my ad for a husband sniper. Just kidding. I know that's not funny! But seriously, I need to go do some yoga or something...

Have fun my "Friends" watchers. I gotta go put punkin butt to sleep now.
post #42 of 98
Okay, I have GOT to check in more often! Ah, well. El, you are an amazing woman!! Hugs to you... and we love your outbursts, so don't feel even the slightest bit of guilt!

Our ds is definitely interested in the 'fridge, but is more interested in our collection of CDs, housed (oh so conveniently) just at his level. Doesn't bother me too much that he removes them and tiles the floor with them, but it makes dh crazy. What makes ME crazy is the paper obsession. We keep a paper grocery bag with recycling paper in it next to the desk... the latest game is to remove every scrap of paper in the bag, then put (some) of the paper back. Problem is, extra papers have begun to make their way into the recycling... bills, papers from work, etc...!

Ds is just over 13 months old and doesn't talk yet. We have been trying to encourage signing (since about 8 months of age or so), but he doesn't seem too interested. He's definitley into the point, grunt, cry thing. My favorite moment (brought me to tears- I'm such a sap!) was on Tuesday evening, when he said his first "word"... we were blowing bubbles in the livingroom, and he got REALLY excited, pointed, and said "buba!" over and over! Very wonderful.

On the unmindful side... teething hell, and nightwaking (haven't heard from you lately, Tara - how are ya?). You all know the drill.

One more thought - and this is sort of a thread hijack, but I'm curious - we brought ds in today for a dr appt and gave him two vaccinations (not his first, but we delayed them a LOT and still plan to permanently skip several), and were assured that all of the vaccines are now made without thimerosol (mercury). I made the nurse give me all of the packaging inserts, and I sat there and read them before I let her inject him. It was true! No preservatives. I read the MMR insert tonight, and it's the same - no mercury/thimerosol (although we're still not sure we'll go through with the MMR). Anyone else know anything about this? Is it just our doc or area of the country? I was thrilled.
post #43 of 98
El, we're interested in epiphanies.

I never realised that getting a fridge with the freezer on the bottem was so useful. But Of course DD likes to look in there and I have her icy teething rings inthere so she can grab one and then I move her out of the way. And honestly, if she is in the freezer and I want her out,, I just move her explaining that I understand that it is interesting but that mommy has to close the door or we waste electricity. Of course there may be a mini-tantrum, but she gets over it. I really have this sense of having to get on with life sometimes KWIM?

I think I am very good at runon sentences...

See you on the flip links
post #44 of 98
Wow. Thanks momcat and Heather. There is truly no other place in my life where I can bitch and moan and then have someone tell me I'm an amazing woman!

Re: thimeresol -- yes, it's true that the newer vaccines have none. The trick is that the old vaccines are still sitting on shelves, and many times the drs will tell you there is none in the batch they have, but if you check the inserts, they are sadly mistaken. (What an awesome mama you are, momcat!) In NC the vaccines are provided by the state for free and my ped said they get different batches from the state every month -- sometimes old, and sometimes new, so he said he could never gaurantee what they would have in the office. And on this note (since I think I brought up the vaccine thing by mentioning it in my intro), I just want you all to know that I'm not an anti-vaccine nazi. I am just scared to death of drugs (even for myself) AND ds has all these food allergies, so we are putting them off until age 2 . . . unless I'm still too chicken then. I do not judge anyone else on this issue, however, 'cause I think it's one of the murkiest to muddle thru, and the information out there just plain SUCKS!

On a mindfulness note, this a.m. I heard of a family in town whose house burned down on Sunday and their oldest child, a 7 yr old boy named Matthew, died in the fire. The parents, their 5 yr old, 18 mos old, and 70 yr old grandmother managed to jump from the 2nd story windows. I was absolutely heartbroken -- and I'm embarrassed to admit this, but it's true -- I think the story really hit home bc their house looked a lot like ours, you know, middle class, suburban, cookie-cutter type thing -- and I think I'm desensitized to these stories when they happen to poor people. Isn't that awful?!?! I guess it's just that the media inundates us with these images of trailer fires (at least in NC), and I've hardened my heart a bit, but this one got me.

So anyway, I've spent today just gazing at my precious child. It blows my mind to think that 6 years from now (or 6 days or 26 years) I could lose him, after loving him so completely for what feels like a long time already. He and I have spent much of today just sitting together -- he's been covering me with those sloppy, wet, full-on-the-mouth kisses, and it's just been a special day together.

So do me a favor and whatever way you pray or pause or honor people, please keep Matthew and his family in your thoughts, okay? And hold your little ones extra tight as you give thanks for every day with them!

Love,
El
post #45 of 98
Hey Mamas of Toddlers, Come check out my "lesson plan sharing" idea:

http://216.92.20.151/discussions/sho...threadid=33826

E.
post #46 of 98
Thread Starter 
Hey, "heartful" mamas! ( if you haven't read El's Ephinany yet that's why you don't get it.) Ds and I have been having a wonderful day full of kisses and happy times. (Dh isn't home from work yet...I hope tonight will be more mindful than last night. )

Thanks for the wonderful reminder, El. We never really know what tomorrow may bring. I'll be thinking of Mathew's family. I know what you mean about that visual about the trailer. It's still sad, but that image doesn't hit home as much if you don't live in a trailer.

We're supposed to put up the tree this weekend and I have to finish my Christmas cards. So if you don't hear from me much this weekend it's not that I'm ditching you all! I'd rather be here than writing cards! Gotta go!
post #47 of 98
momcat (so glad I know how you got that name now!), I asked the ped. today about thimerasol (sp?) Probably you know they don't make them with it any more but some of the stocks that some of the drs. have still contain it. Mine assured me that none of THEIR stock had it and I asked how come and she said it's illegal in Mass. to use those older ones now. So probably it is a regional thing.
post #48 of 98
Hello fellow Mindful Sisters,

Just wanted to say, I didn't mean to sound like I'm the perfect mindful mama in that last post of mine...
That was certainly not my intent...just that it was just the way that I ended up approaching parenting, and when I read the book Mindful Parenting, I was so proud that my instincts were right on...this is not to say that I don't struggle with it at times!:
My greatest struggle these days is being a Mindful Wife...
For all the work I do for Soleil, what kind of example am I giving her when I'm short and at times downright disrespectful to my darling, ever so patient, husband????
post #49 of 98

I'm here!

I knew what you meant, mamasoleil, don't worry... Little Miss Perfect Parent!!

Right now my life is just really busy with holiday stuff, and Jackson has bronchitis. Not terrible bronchitis, but enough to disrupt his already hellish sleep. But, I find it much easier to be 'mindful' and generous about sleep disruption when I know it's due to illness - at least I know the answer when I'm holding him, crying, in the wee hours and asking, "Why won't you sleep????" Here's what we have to do to this poor little boy to help him recover (recommended by our naturopath): After his nightly bath, when he is all warm and cozy, we put socks and a t-shirt on him that have been wrung out in ice water!!! Yes, you read that right. At this point, Jackson screams bloody murder and looks at us like we've lost our minds and decided to torture him. On top of the cold articles of clothing go dry, warm ones and then his pajamas... What this does is tell his body to work overtime heating up, and within ten minutes or so he is a little furnace, cooking those darn germs away (and the layers of warm, dry clothes insulate him and keep him warm - supposed to be wool clothing, but we don't have any of that in his size!). Anyway, it does seem to be helping. Poor little guy...

I am holding on, waiting until next weekend when we go to my parents' house for a week. My parents live a 5 hour drive away in the teeniest little boring town. But, they give us such an incredible break when we're there - every morning when J wakes up, we hand him off to my dad and go back to bed. Every afternoon we take a nap together while they play with the babe. My mom does our laundry (even diapers!) and cooks. And, for some of this week the house will also be full of my siblings and their families and everyone looks out for the kids so for once we don't have to be 100% on, if you kwim. It's heaven.

And, it is really so touching that y'all keep remembering me! Usually when you're discussing nightwaking! I am the Queen of Nightwaking! I am Her Highness of Horrible Sleep!
post #50 of 98

Little Miss Perfect Parent here...

Tara,

Sounds so beautiful at your parents....can I come too???
Sounds like you'll be able to catch up on your sleep, that's awesome!!!!

Mamasoleil
post #51 of 98

Hello I'm here!

hey there beautiful mamas!

This is the first time I've made it to this thread... I've been in the book club one and have been "lurking" on this one, I guess you could say, since whenever I get here to read it, by the time I've made it through the posts whatever time window I had seems to have disappeared!

So, my quick intro: I am mom to Sophie who was born Feb21, and is almost 10 months. dh & i have been together for 6 years, married for three. We lived in intentional communities for most of that time, and currently have a mom & 2 yr old staying with us. Without a doubt my BIG mindfulness challenge is with the two of them -- I love them but am just fed up most days with sharing a house with them (actually if they could just be our net door neighbors I'd love it, but she's broke & out of work, so she's in our guest room).

I feel like living with someone else's 2yr old is really challenging me because I know I'll have a toddler very soon -- but for now dh & I just want to enjoy Sophie in the phase she is in. There are also some agression issues (the little boy tries to hit dd, sit on her etc), although mnostly he's a great kid. It just means I have to be super vigilant and can't let her have the run of the only well-childproofed area (the living room). And she's kinda like an ungrateful teenager most of the time, although she's not that young.

SOOO, I don't find myself being the centered, mindful-in-the-present woman I'd like to be because I'm too busy resenting or hiding from these two.

The funny thing, though, is that I have found, on this occassion and others, that having someone else to complain about helps to take focus away from issues/conflicts between me & dh! Sad but true. So when someone else lives with us we tend to get along great.

All of the posts I just read were beautiful. You are each working on your state of mind and heart with such intentionality and it is such a gift to your children! I am so glad that my dd will grow up with people like them also in the world somewhere. I believe so strongly that the foundation of trust and compassion being laid in them now will bear fruit in the way they are in the world as adults. And goodness knows we will need in with all the crap going on out there.

Well, I was going to vent a little about how much anxiety I have about the toddler phase (don't worry, I already had it before you posted, Breathe!), but this is long enough for now. Thanks for reading!

peace, mb

p.s. tara - honey, i'm so sorry these nights have still been hard. feel better soon, Jackson!
Um, how many rooms does your parents house have? :LOL
post #52 of 98
Thread Starter 
Hi! Wow! Just popped in to check my e-mail and I couldn't resist to see who else popped into our little haven here at MDC. I'm so glad to see Baby Phat, Mamasoleil, Tara, and MB are still with us.

We're having an amazingly mindful, heartful, soulful, and beautiful weekend here. Ds is asleep for a second nap...there is a God and Dh and I have had some wonderful, much needed alone time together today. I've even had time to finish reading the second chapter in Part IV. I have so many quotes that I wrote down. Maybe I'll have time to post on of them this weekend on the other thread.

Great news, Tara! Except for the illness but it sounds like you are on the downhill side already! I wish I had your parents and family!!! I'm so happy for you to be getting a break and that ds will have some fun in the process.

Gotta go!
post #53 of 98
Thread Starter 
http://216.92.20.151/discussions/sho...threadid=34017 Here's an interesting discussion about vax's for anyone that is interested.

I hope you're having a heartful weekend.

post #54 of 98
My parents do, indeed, rock. I'm really grateful to have them, and grateful that my little guy gets such awesome grandparents. 6 days until we get there!!

And, no more nights of the wet tshirt treatment, thank god. It really does work, though - we could see an immediate reduction in his cough...
post #55 of 98
Thread Starter 

:( Computer trouble

Hello! My computer is in serious trouble. I had to jimmy-rig it just to get on-line. Dh and I are not sure what is wrong with it. I hope we figure can figure it out. It's an older computer so who knows!

I had my user name changed!
post #56 of 98
Thread Starter 
I can't be on here long...we aren't sure yet what is wrong w/ the computer. Windows could need to be reloaded and/or it could be a bad fan. We'll know more on Wednesday evening when a computer guru friend comes over.

On another note. Dh and I have noticed over the last few months that ds comes to us when he needs to go potty and he seems very frustrated when we don't understand his cues. He always wakes up from naps or at night before he has to pee pee or poop. So today I went and got him a potty chair and he has been using it most of the day and seems to understand what is going on and is fascinated with his potty chair. He's only 12 months so I figure this could become very time consuming and take all year. But what else do I have to do in this cold tundra for the next four months??

I better shut this thing off now! s to everyone and I hope you and yours are well.
post #57 of 98
I think you should look into Eliminiation Communication, if you haven't already. It's all about helping with potty training and recognizing the signals. It's especially for very small babies so they don't have to go in their diaper because they don't like being dirty or wet, either It's pretty fascinating to be that connected to your childs needs. It's on the Diapering forum, and they usually abbr it to EC.

Cheers!!

Lori
post #58 of 98

Need help!

The dreaded Norwalk virus has hit us! Ds caught it first, I was next, and dh is on the verge. We both had to be taken to the hospital for fluids. NOT FUN.

What I need help with is this - because of the DAYS of loose stools, ds has the worst diaper rash I've ever seen. Any thoughts? We use earth friendly baby clover care/rash cream, but it doesn't seem to help. Witch hazel?

Here's how I'll tie it into the thread: my mindfulness practice in cleaning up the, um... okay, I'll say it - VOMIT, has been just in empathizing with the little guy who is so scared and so hurting... isn't it amazing what we moms can do when the need is there?

(Hope this didn't make anyone feel too icky... sorry!)
post #59 of 98
Thread Starter 
Wow, Momcat and Mamakarata, I'm glad you're o.k. now. There's a down side to not watching t.v. and not taking the newspaper b/c I feel so out of the loop sometimes like now...I had no idea there were power outages in California and I've never even heard of the Norwalk Virus.

I wondered why I hadn't heard anything from you both in awhile...just figured everyone was enjoying the holidays or out of town. I hope that is the case with the others...we know why we haven't heard from Analisa (Meg's Mom)....the cross country move.

All is well here with us. I'll be thinking happy, mindful thoughts of you all.

P.S. Karen, I have no idea about the diaper rash treatment for bad cases that are caused by loose stools. When my ds is red on the hiney I just make sure to let him air dry and pat his bottom with a cloth after every diaper change that way there's no trapped moisture when I put the dipe on. Moisture is what causes the usual diaper rash. But like I said I'm not sure what to do when for other causes. HTH anyway.
post #60 of 98
Momcat, SOOOOO sorry! I've never heard of the Norwalk virus either, but I can tell you that Maalox or Mylanta on that kind of diaper rash will clear it up very well. Both are antacids and neutralize the poop just like they would an upset stomach. I know they aren't natural, but I'm guessing that's not your first concern right now!

You guys get well soon!
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