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Ughhh!!! My mom

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
Ok, this may just be a bit of a rant, but here goes.

First off let me say I love my mom. We *usually* get along great. she is an amazing nana to dd1. she almost never gives me parenting advice. but...

Yesterday I told her I was pg at dd's birthday party. I wanted her to know because dh and I were so excited. I even told her we were going to start trying about a month ago. SO when her response was the type that I would expect if I were going to tell her we were selling all of our worldly posessions and going to live on the street I was a little taken a back.

She looked lik I had punched her in the stomach! Finally she managed a "S!$# Jess" I said "Wow, you just don't take this kind of news well at all do you." I gave her a minute to try & choke out a nice word or two and the I said, well there's some wine in the fridge...I haveto go.

God! What was that about. I'm married, we have a house, we don't ask them for money, I'm an adult in a loving comitted relationship. We wanted a bigger family!

Later she said It wasn't about me, it was her. Finding out made her feel old... I don't buy it.

Ughhh! Mother's! wait, I'm one of those...
post #2 of 8
(((Jesi))) I didnt get the reaction I thought I would either from my parents, but they didnt react that bad. We are super excited to have you here and know you are going to be a wonderful mom to your blessings !!!!!!
post #3 of 8
My mom didn't respond the way I thought she would either. She said 'Yay!' in a really fake voice and then hasn't mentioned it again (and I've talked to her a few times!). It really sucks when you think they are going to be so excited and then they give you such odd responses. I kinda wonder with my mom if it is because she loves our dd so much (she adores her) that she is having a hard time imagining another. I've heard from friends that this sometimes happens after the first one...just wasn't expecting it from MY mom!
post #4 of 8
s its so hard when close freinds or famiy are not as excited as you are, we are all really really excited for you
post #5 of 8
Rebecca - my mom didn't seem excited at all when we told her we were having our 2nd dd (that's not this pregnancy). After we had her I thought she seemed to keep her distance from my new dd. It hurt me a lot and I was almost to the point where I was going to tell her that she couldn't be involved in my dd's lives AT ALL b/c no way would I allow one of them to grow up feeling not loved, when overnight she changed. I still suspect my sister said something to her cuz literally, I mentioned my feelings to my sister and the very next day my mom was ALL ABOUT my younger dd. She's been good with her ever since and I feel that the feelings are now genuine (although I don't think they started that way). I think there could definitley be some protective thing going on with your mom towards your first dd - that's totally what my mom seemed like to me.

We haven't told our families yet and don't plan to until this pregnancy looks a bit more sticky (like 12+ weeks). We live about 5 minutes from my parents so if I start showing early or something it might have to come up sooner, but the reason we're waiting is b/c I don't anticipate a real heart-warming reaction - especially from my parents - since this will be our 3rd child. Dh & I both come from the very traditional family of 4 so I feel like we're breaking some rules in a sense. Screw 'em! It's tough when you don't get the support you deserve from the people who love you. Sadly, I'm used to that from my family though.
post #6 of 8
Neither of my parents responded very positively to the announcement of our pregnancy either.
While DH and I are still quite upset and hurt by their reactions - we're finding comfort and peace by surrounding ourselves with those friends who already know and are overjoyed and excited by the news.

I hope that you will be able to do the same. Find those people who are overjoyed for you and want to CELEBRATE the miracle of a new life!
Hopefully your mom's negativity will fade away soon!

Until then, many positive vibes and coming your way.
post #7 of 8
I know how you feel. I got NO REACTION from my mom either - until she finally choked out "well, I guess congratulations are in order if this is what you *really* want."

This is our third too - and I think I'm the same as love_homebirthing - my mom just thinks that all families should have 2 adults and 2 children - and now we are not.

I hope your mom comes around after she has some time to digest the news.
post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the warm words. I'm sure she'll come around. For know have lots of people who are happy with me irl & here!!
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