Kids sports programs run amok!? VENT!!! - Page 2

[boobybunny]

If they do not have the skills to play when they are in highschool that decision has already been made for them. By putting them in sports now, they get to decide.

[Sneezykids]

Ok, I'll have to ask her again, but I thought she said dd wouldn't be on U10, but U8 instead..?
DD is 8. Either way, she said because dd has not played before that she would probably be 'lost'
not in a mean way, just kinda warning me about how it 'is'
KWIM?

[Sneezykids]

boobybunny, I understand, that is why I wanted to her to play now, at 8 years old, but it SEEMS that even 'now' is too late, that most kids are starting at 4 years old.
That is the point of the thread, that she is already tagged as being 'lost' if she plays this year.
I think I said that earlier in the thread, that I didn't know I had to start her at age four to get to play now. I'm not taking the time and money if she is just going to sit the sidelines because the coach is playing the more skilled players...when it SHOULD be at this AGE, playing to learn, not playing to win.
But, maybe I'm being too idealistic about it, not realistic. I thought kids sports were to learn and have fun.

[shelbean91]

I didn't think you need to start her at 4. I'm originally from the midwest and my brother/sisters started older than 4/5. U8 sounds about right for an 8 year old. She may be a little behind because she needs to learn the rules and skills that other kids have already learned, but it doesn't mean she can't do it. I didn't start playing volleyball until I was a sophomore in high school, most of the other girls started in jr high- I started out a little behind, but quickly caught up and was just as good as the rest of them.

And I'm pretty sure that AYSO has an 'everybody plays' rule.

[boobybunny]

Most U10 and under teams have a 50% rule. So what if they only play three of six. They are playing. Isaac is only 8 but plays on a U10 team. He is the worst player on that team, but also the youngest. He learns from the other kids On his Kidsports teams, he is the same age as everyone and at times the best player. There is only the thrill of victory on that team.

Alyssa is 6 and plays on the U 10 team, actually she just practices with them. She is learning skills that the other kids just do not have in her age group. She plays on her other team.... more of a bumbble bee aproach to soccer.

[shelbean91]

Boobybunny- how are your kids playing out of their age limit? I thought there were age restrictions that if you were a certain age by a certain date, you were on this team? I just signed dd up last month, but don't remember and don't want to look for my paperwork if you know off hand.

Thanks.

[boobybunny]

As long as it is an UNDER 10, being as Isaac is 8 he is fine. He had to try out for this team.

[Dov]

Holay, gucamolay.... My heart is breaking reading your experiences.

I'm a regional referee in AYSO. If some of the posters are talking about AYSO (playing out of age division, coaches who are win, win, win, parents pacing sidelines....) I would be screaming to high heaven at the regional coordinator. All of that kind of behavior and activity are gross violations of the national rules and bylaws. They're inexcusable and need to be reported at the national level.

Our dd is 8, plays U10, it's her first year and she's a beginner. Her coach is so psyched to have a two beginners on the team. At the team meeting, she was emphatic with the parents that while U10 is competitive (i.e., it's a tournament for a trophy) winning is meaningless if even one player is not having fun and learning the game. We had to sign a contract with her that we supported that philosophy and would not interfere with it or we would withdraw from the team. She's one of the most successful coaches in our region... success defined as most beginners trained with basic to intermediate skills, highest level of player happiness, etc. One of the parents had a win-win-win coach the prior year in U7 and that coach was actually replaced mid-season because of it.

As a ref, on the pitch our region has a zero-tolerance policy for negative behavior by anyone, players, coaches, especially parents. If a parent ever paced the touchlines like that, they'd be escorted to their car. As a ref, I have the authority to ensure that such a parent is removed for such behavior. I've had a few parents almost get to a bad place during a match, but a few helpful words from me while their kids had to stop playing, they remembered who they were there for and their kids could go back to having fun. We also have a 75% play policy... At least four times during matches in the younger divisions I ensure substitutions so every player gets a minimum of 75% of the match. If my game cards don't prove that consistently, as a ref I get a serious talking-to. It's considered by all of us as a personal mission and a professional humiliation if we fall short of that; the player is everything.

My heart breaks that folks have had bad experiences... it shouldn't be that way. There's no excuse for it. Club leagues can be more expensive and much more competitive and they don't have the Safe Zone policies AYSO does. But if the club league is well organized it might be a good option, just check them out first. We have two club leagues parallel to our AYSO region, both are good but twice and three times the cost and the level of play is much more intense. There's nothing wrong with that as long as the player is allowed to develop as a happy and whole human being on the way.

[Sneezykids]

So, how does an 8 year old get to play on U10 Dov? This is AYSO I'm talking about, the one dd's best friend is going to play on this year.
Dd already knows some of the rules just from being a kid and PE class.

[emblmrgrl]

Originally Posted by Sneezykids

So, how does an 8 year old get to play on U10 Dov? This is AYSO I'm talking about, the one dd's best friend is going to play on this year.
Dd already knows some of the rules just from being a kid and PE class.

U10 IS the age group an 8 y/o plays in. U6 is for 4 & 5 y/o's, U8 is for 6 & 7 y/o's, U10 is for 8 & 9 y/o's, etc...

ETA: We also have a 50% play time rule per game in our league. We can move players up if they're advancing quickly but that's NOT the norm. I've known one kid, personally, that plays one age group above what he would play age wise but that's it. I think you should find out the director's phone number and just call and ask questions... if nothing else, it'll put your mind at ease.

[Dov]

Originally Posted by emblmrgrl

U10 IS the age group an 8 y/o plays in. U6 is for 4 & 5 y/o's, U8 is for 6 & 7 y/o's, U10 is for 8 & 9 y/o's, etc...
..... I think you should find out the director's phone number and just call and ask questions... if nothing else, it'll put your mind at ease.

Sneezykids, I concur with emblmrgrl; an 8 y/o should be in U10. Believe me, she'll get playing time in every position. Calling the division coordinator is a really good idea if you don't know your dd's coach yet. Regional officials exist for that purpose. Usually by now you should have a coach and this kind of stuff should be covered in the first team meeting. Having had some exposure in PE and with other kids is really great, it'll help her feel confident sooner, IMO.

[RedWine]

Everyone here is totally freaking me out. I have a 2 1/2 year old. Guess that gives me a couple of years to work on my confrontational skills so I can deal with the obnoxious parents/coaches you're all talking about.

I will keep in mind your words, Dov, and try to find an AYSO league when the time comes.