Earliest Memory

[Jesse Michener]

Did you know that we lose most of our early childhood memories after we learn to read because reading actually forces us to access our memory differently? We create new pathways and organize things so differently after learning to read, we lose access to much of our early childhood.

Still, many of us have images and memories etched in our brains from early childhood. What are yours? Take three minutes and brainstorm as many memories as you can, write down the memories as titles like "Red Bike" or "Anthill." Then, go back and fill them in with description.

Notice which senses are most strongly associated with each memory. Do you see the memory in pictures, sounds, smells, feelings, or a little of each? Use the dominate sense to guide your work. Take the time to meditate and get quiet with each memory. Don't be surprise if snippets come to you throughout the day. Keep your index cards handy.

A word of warning: sometimes going back to memories can be painful or disturbing. I encourage you to be a warrior as you write: face the pain and keep writing. Write through it as if writing is the only thing that will defeat the pain/fear/anger/sorrow. If you feel as if you cannot cope or if the memories are impacting your daily life, I would encourage you to talk to someone about it.

Peace to you.

Jesse

[Gendenwitha]

"Did you know that we lose most of our early childhood memories after we learn to read because reading actually forces us to access our memory differently? We create new pathways and organize things so differently after learning to read, we lose access to much of our early childhood."

I find that interesting, but doubtful, do you have a source for that tidbit of fact or folklore?

[DebraBaker]

My earliest memory I was about two because we were living in an old apartment and I was being potty trained. I was afraid of the bathroom because of the toilet flushing.

My mom had a potty chair in my bedroom and wanted me to use it. My sister and I shared a bedroom. We were napping. She was in a crib and I was in a little bed. I woke up from my nap and knew I needed to take a dump and remembered the potty chair. I crapped in the potty chair and went back to sleep. I thought my mom would be pleased but she came into our room and was hollering and cursing because the potty was removed from the chair and my deposit was resting upon the floor.

Another early early memory was when Kennedy was killed (yes, I'm aging myself.) I don't think it was the very day but I was at my Grandmom's house and my mom and grandmom were very upset about the President being killed. I was three and asking questions because I didn't understand but I was upset because my mom and grandmom and dad and uncles; every adult in the house were very upset but they couldn't handle answering the questions of a three year old so they sent me outside to play.

I remembering sitting on the steps (I was wearing green overalls) and wondering what could have made all the adults in my life so upset. That side of the family were Irish-Catholic and the Kennedys were revered so the assasination of President Kennedy was especially hard on them.

Debra Baker

[Thursday Girl]

my first memory.

Moving Day

I am standing in the hallway of our new house, legs spread wide. There are men coming in and out with boxes and the rest of my family is all scuurying around so they don't even notice me. I am terrified.

Oddly my twin sister shared her first memory with me. It is the smae day and she was also scared. but she was standing on the stairs near the attic crawl sapce. she was afraid of that.

we were two and a half.

if that reading tidbit is true does that mean people who have never learned tr read have access to more of their childhood memories??

[BelovedK]

According to 'Waldorf' philosophy (which is a whole other topic) at around age 7, we become more chrystallized in our bodies. memories would be more vivid then, which is also usually when we really learn to read. I wonder if this is where some of this comes from.

Also a 'Waldorf' thing...we really come into our bodies at around age 3, which coincides with interactive play rather than parallel play, also we tend to be more fearfull around that age. I remember my DS being afraid of shadows crossing over him right around age 3 and also being afraid of the dark. Before that he required complete darkness to sleep (strange) We also start to refer to ourselves as "I" and "me" then.
I'm not sure if we can easily access memories before then...I would love to hear some really early ones.My mom said she remembers being pushed around in a pram as a baby, I can't remember before 3 though.

I have some really great 'first memory' ideas, I'll post them when they're completed

PS, this isn't meant to be a 'Waldorf ' discussion, there is a whole forum for that (and i hear it's quite active lately)

[swtladyfare]

My first memory is just really a flash. I remember being made to lay on a cement floor with a hole in it that had bits of crayons inside. I remember it being cold and not wanting to lay there. My mother informs me that this is a memory of my only daycare experience. She says I was two. It was a four-c daycare and she says I would beg her to stay home every morning and beg her not to go back every night. This is why I'm a stay at home mom.

[Pheline4]

Great exercise. Thanks.

Fancy Hat: My earliest memory is standing in the doorway of my childhood home, watching my paternal grandmother and my aunt walk up to our door. My grandmother was wearing a little round hat and she was carrying a casserole dish. My parents were divorced by the time I was two years old and I doubt if my grandmother would have come over in her fancy hat after the divorce..it wasn't an amicable divorce..., so I must have been under two years old. Is that possible? Sometimes I think it was just a dream because it's so early.

Hiding in the Closet: My second earliest memory that I know happened was when I ran away from my maternal grandmother to avoid a diaper change. I remember hiding in my closet and very seriously not wanting the diaper changed... When my grandmother found me, she was not happy. (Can't say I blame her now!) I recently told the story to my almost 3-year-old son who was going through a serious aversion to diaper changing (and who is now out of diapers except at night), hoping for some cooperation in exchange for the empathy, but it didn't pan out.

It's funny that both of my memories involve my grandmothers and not my mother or sister to whom I was very close, especially because of my parents' divorce.

[zenfulmama]

earliest memories

My earliest memories begin when I was around three.

i remember when i began to hate Lucky Charms.

I remember my cherry tomatoe plant growing by the kitchen window on a table. I see it in my mind's eye...diffused white light pouring into the plant, coming through the window of our small trailer in fairbanks, alaska. I was living there with my grandparents. my mother was in kentucky. i don't remember missing her.

in that trailer i can see my grandfather kicked back in the recliner watching Barker's beauties on the Price is Right.

Next, I see a mime flash on the TV.

I see a boy babysitter who I think plays the tuba.

Then the memory of my grandfather coming home late, arriving in a taxi. he is terribly drunk and i'm scared because i've never seen him like this before. i can hear my grandmother saying something to him like watch out for Jessica as he practically smooshes me, trying to sit down on the couch. I remember head start; wearing dresses...there was a little boy who liked to pull up my dress. I told my grandpa and he said that I should just haul off and slap him the next time it happened and I did so. and he stopped. my grandparents thought this was hilarious.
in alaska, i also remember playing in a green house, feeling magically enclosed in my own private space.

the next memories are dark and terrible. i think that I was closer to 4 at this time (born in november)...my grandparents entrusted me with a couple who were to drive me to kentucky. they were "truckers". the man, whose name was Dick, molested me during the trip. during the trip, i remember being scared in the dark. being made to sit alone at the table until i ate my peas, and holding out until they gave up, being made to give him oral sex...i really don't want to explore how much of the abuse that i could remember. i really don't want to go there. the smell of something like old spice has always made my stomach turn and dully ache inside, so i think that this was probably what the dick wore...

the next memories aren't much better. i remember being with my mother at a keg party, walking around alone in the dark( i think that i may have drank some beer)...i remember looking for her and finding her in a bathroom with a man who was helping her shoot up. i see the rubber band around her arm and the needle in his hand. why do i have to remember this? i remember thinking, "why do you have a rubber band around your arm?" and them making a big deal about my not being there, and all i wanted was to be with my mother. perhaps this is why i hate Bob Segar, i think that music was playing in the back ground...but i do remember enjoying The Eagles, and Carole King...

[quaz]

Ugh. Long couple of weeks. I really find it interesting that memory restructures after one can read... So, here's my quick contribution.



A flash, a flit. Like shards of broken glass. Sharp and clear, yet only fragments of an image are reflected. I think that best describes my early memories. They are just pieces, or small isolated events.

I remember
playing with multi-colored, fuzzy pipecleaners in my parent's first apartment.
being in my great-grandmother's funeral procession.

I remember
sledding down our driveway in the fresh, crisp snow
walking with my parents to burger king
sitting in the front of the grocery cart at night... my mom opening a package of goldfish for me to snack on
sneaking into my parents room because I wanted to sleep in their large bed, because I wanted to sleep next to my parents

I remember
snapdragon flowers that you squeezed and they actually snapped and popped
an apple tree with buggy apples
a white wooden four-seater swing


I remember bits and pieces. Like glass, some memory shards reflect a larger image than others. All reflect a piece of my past.

[Mylie]

Interesting thread

These are a few that I remember...


Goldfish pond...I remember a small fish pond swimming with fish at the next door neighbors..I remember thinking it was magical..That was when we lived in Florida when I was 2.I also remember going to get my sister who was 1 from the church nursery and her crying..They were trying to console her with a cookie and I had my hands on my hips demanding they hand her over.I also remember the trailor we lived in.In a grove of oranges..I remember my mom juicing oranges at the kitchen table.I can still see her doing it as I walk up the trailer steps.I also remember riding on my dad's shoulders walking across the dirt road to our trailer comeing home from the neighbors..I remember being very afraid of the neighbors cause their girl who was 3 years older than me told me her dad was going to chop my head off when he got home.Nice huh? I remember when we were traveling to florida to live we stopped at a place with a kind of witch house..All I remember is seeing the witch up in the top window spinning on her loom..Then us going inside walking in the dark and my dad carrying me cause I was scared to death. . I also remember my mom diapering my little sis who I guess was between 8 months and 1 year with diapers that had little pink somethings on them..Then it was my turn and she put one on me cause I was wetting the bed..And I remember being very surprised and a little embarrased wearing it cause I didn't normally but I walked around checking out the cute things on the diaper itself..

If remember more but those are my earliest and I had just turned 2.

Mylie xx

[countrymom]

(this was Boston so I was 3 1/2 or younger)

In crib----
Memory in crib-- bare feet on the white wall--pushing against the wall--thru the wooden slats of crib...laying on my back...pushing on the wall wanting out. A window...sun coming in...it seemed bright...my toes pressed against wall.


Also.... my parents bed on floor--me on the bed in daylight-record player beside--big rice paper lantern/lamp hanging from sky (ceiling) Red & orange blankets--this room their bedroom center of the apt--the living room I think--me in the one bedroom.

Remember my dresser---the curved shape of the pull out drawers the white paint on a scroll like inlay in the wood.....remember tiny tinny pots & pans and crying & waiting for my mom to play cooking with me. A little castle with a springy flag at top.....a castle where I could shove toys down one side then open the plastic gated dungeon door at the bottom to let toys out & start over.

A felix the cat purse.....pink/beige plastic.....ball clasp at top---red felt inside...and I remember "seeing" two tennis rackets crossed each time I thought of purse...and making myself remember that when I thought of purse & before opening it each time & that memory is etched in my head of the two wooden tennis rackets every time I remember the felix the cat purse.......The purse was lost --when I was 5 or 6--I remember being in the dirt floor garage of the new house---and looking for it--that was where I had it last...I remeber thinking if I concentrated on the image of the tennis rackets hard enough I'd find the purse. I never did.

[earthmama06]

Trauma: I remember riding on my sister's shoulders, falling backward and hitting my head on a small brick fence - only 2-3 bricks high. I remember screaming. I remember my mother running up to me and grabbing me in her arms. I remember the doctor at the hospital stiching the wound on the back of my head - I don't remember the pain. I was 2yo.

Moving day: I remember playing in one of the rooms in the new house. I remember finding a Barry Manilow tape. I remember playing that tape and dancing with my sister to the Coppa Cabana (sp?). I remember sitting in that room eating fish and chips from HS Salt Fish n' Chips and watching our black and white tv. I was also 2yo.

Learning to hop: I remember it was my turn to be tested. I remember hopping on one foot. I remember earning my star. I was 3yo.

Exploration: I remember "exploring" my sexuality (with my clothes on) with a girlfriend of mine, taking turns being the "boy". I was 5yo.

Amazing what you remember when you just stop and think for a minute...

(edited for spelling)

[**guest**]

Fire

We are walking down the back stairs, it is dark, the elevator is not working. My mother carries a candle, and there are shadows on the walls. The stairs are broken, I am terrified I will fall into the cracks, but I am told to hurry. I am told there is a fire in the building, and I am scared – my mother says that the wires are burning, and I don’t understand what she means. It is dark outside, and we get into a taxicab. We go somewhere far, where my aunt lives.

Chickenpox

I am 4 years old, I am in the kindergarten. All the children go outside to play, I am told to stay inside. I am not sure why, but I like it – I have all the toys for myself, and I play on a tiny doll piano, it is pink with white and black keys. The room is huge. Someone brings me a change of clothing because I peed in my pants. I am embarrassed, I have never had an accident before. Someone tells me that my mother is coming to pick me up because I have chicken pox.

[violafemme]

I am 2, maybe 3 years old. I am screaming my head off in a playpen in the kitchen. I know my mother and father are in the house and I cannot understand why they do not answer me. Is it possible they cannot hear me? I am begging, I am pleading, I am crying "mommy, mommy". I want desperately to be with them and they are ignoring me. I try a new tactic, I scream: "Nancy!" I have heard my father use this before and she had answered. Maybe I am not using the right words. "NANCY" I yell. They respond, but it is with anger. I am being disrespectful, I am never to use my mother's first name. I am grabbed, or spanked or just met with such anger and I do not understand. I am left alone again in the dark kitchen, in a playpen; confused and exhausted I fall asleep.

This is my earliest memory.

[sunset]

My earliest memories.

The sound of screaming is all around me, I don`t know it is mine.
Other children are shouting things , I don`t know what. My eyes are closed but I see red everywhere. Someone lifts me, I see green, my Mum`s green apron, it tied around the waist, no bib. Her arms hold me tight, she is running with me, my face is squished against her big soft breast.
( 3 years old, a swing knocked my front tooth out)


I am in Simon Watson`s ? Wilson`s? Williams` ? garden shed.
We are rubbing our clothed bodies against each other.
His brothers are right outside in the yard playing football. We know if we get caught we will be in big trouble. We are so afraid but so excited we don`t want to stop.
Everytime the football hits the garden shed door we jump apart.
( 6 years old)



My Father picks me up from nursery school, he lifts me onto the handlebars of his bike.
The other kids have little seats on the back. They all want to ride on the handlebars but I am ashamed.
(5)

[chowchowmama]

:
This is my first post here - I'm at my son/daughter-in-law's (Jaclyn) house visiting and have been enjoying reading this site, which I know is one of her favorites. I decided to share acouple of my favorite early memories because I seem to have earlier, more vivid ones than most people I know. After reading how learning to read interferes with early memories I wonder if my being dyslexic somehow affected my ability to remember so far back... just a thought?

Anyway, my first memory is quite pleasant. I was walking along the buffet in my aunt's dining room since I couldn't quite walk unassisted yet. Everyone was in the kitchen and I was headed for the small table, next to the buffet, on which was displayed a glass domed anniversary clock. Feeling very daring I kept checking over my shoulder to see if anyone noticed what I was doing. I knew I wasn't allowed to 'go for the clock' but was almost there when someone saw me! With a laughing scoulding voice he scooped me up, putting me into baby giggle fits. (I learned to walk at 12 mos., so I was probably 10/11 mos. at the time.)

For the next memory I'll give a little background . . . My mother was diagnosed with M.S. when I was born, and had a serious attack shortly thereafter. I was sent to my Aunt & Uncles when I was 6 mos. old, then returned to my parents at 1 1/2 yrs. All of my childhood I remembered being on a train with my mommy, but my parents would tell me I'd never been on a train! Yet the memory was way too vivid. As a child I couldn't sleep if there were any lights on, even the crack under a door bothered me to the point that they'd put a towel to block any light, and this memory starts in a private compartment on a train. I was lying across a seat, wanting to sleep, but the overhead light was on and I was staring at it and screaming 'turn it off'. A black man in a uniform came to our compartment door and asked if there was anything he could do for the baby. My mom said no, that was alright. I remember saying to him that I just wanted the light out. I also remember how I 'knew' they couldn't understand me and the familiar feeling of frustration that came with being able to understand them without them being able to understand me.

About ten years ago I was at my Aunt's house with my Dad and again mentioned how I remember being on a train as a little kid. Dad said that that was impossible, I'd never been on a train. Since I knew how I'd been cared for by her those many years ago I asked her how she had taken me home to my parents when I was 1 1/2 yrs. old. She gave me a thoughtful look and said that she, only she, had taken me by train back to my parents. I asked if we had been in a private compartment, if I been crying, etc. She confirmed all of my memory, right down to the black conductor. I have to say it was a relief to finally be told that I had been on a train as a baby! Vindication!

Because of that memory I know that we should never underestimate how much a young child is capable of understanding! They can understand much more of our conversations, and be more deeply affected by the actons of the adults around them, than we would like to believe.

These are just two out of many early memories; some funny, some learning experiences, some confusing. I do know that people expected me to not remember the fear (closer to terror) and isolation of being taken from one set of 'parents' and given to another. They expected me to readjust quickly, because children are 'resilient', but I can assure you that even very small children can remember and be greatly affected by things like that happening to them. Thankfully people are much more understanding now than when I was little!

[medeanj]

This is the very first time I checked out this forum and I look forward in posting more.

Earliest memory.

I cannot give an exact age, but it was definitely while I was still in cloth diapers most likely between 1.5 - 2 years old, no more.

I remember the changing pad, but not the table itself. It was plastic, quite thick and cushy...and very cold to lay on! The pattern on the pad had these psychadelic flowers in sky blue, mustard yellow and kelly green. I remember being shirtless, laying on the changing table and being strapped in. The strap was a wide, thin piece of vinyl. The buckle was also wide and had no clasp. I remember my mother fumbling with the buckle to strap me in.

Then she took a picture of me. I cannot recall the type of camera, but I remember the flash.

When she unbuckled the strap to pick me up, I stuck to the changing pad for a brief moment.

A few years ago I spoke to mum about my earliest memory. She smiled and brought out a box of photos which I never saw before. She pulled out a picture of a smiling, shirtless baby, strapped to a flower-patterned changing table.

[supersarahmommy]

What a great thread! Very Fun!

Preschool

proudly, running to the car with a white sheet full of
bright colors--red, blue, green, yellow
and shapes--circles, squares, rectangles

happy to see my mom, but still wanting to stay,

sifting my fingers through the soft, fine white sand (Why don't we have this at home?)

watching tadpoles growing legs...pressing my little fingers against the cold aquarium wall, leaving smudge marks

wishing I could be a tadpole swimming in that water, one day to become a frog

[Kindermama]

~age 3

moving into my childhood home and seeing a barbie doll that was found in a closet. ( I hated barbies then and still do...I was afraid of them)

~age 4

the preschool playground

my plastic chain-like necklace with tons of plastic charms on it. I remember it so well I can almost feel it.

[chasmyn]

Subscribing, will add mine later. DS needs tending now.