|I was just getting the vibe that since I sometimes ask my child to wait 5 mintues to eat that I am less then gentle with him.
I don't agree that gd means gently enforcing all the arbitrary rules we might invent. I think it is about much more than how we deliver the message, kwim?
Are you willing to talk about this in more detail? I'd really like to discuss what you mean by "waiting 5 minutes". I think you have come close to the essence of this discussion.
I don't know whether you asking a child to wait is gentle/respectful, until I know whether your child views that as a request, or an order. If your child knows it is their right to eat when they are hungry, and has always known this, and knows that you will not stop them from getting something to eat, then saying "Please wait a few minutes, I'm almost ready" is just a request, and there is nothing ungentle about it. It's like the waiter saying "Just one more minute, I have to get this table's order first". It's just a polite request, nothing more.
On the other hand if your child knows that by saying "Please wait 5 minutes", that at that point, reaching for food will mean having it taken away, or viewed as a "discipline" issue, then that is totally different. That is not a gentle or respectful thought for the child to face. Choosing between hunger and consequences? That is not gentle, and it isn't respectful.