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Kids playing with and wasting food + Meal and snack scheduling discussion - Page 4

post #61 of 432
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPJJJ
Unless they are engrossed in a movie or their v-smile, they do this every time I am out of the room. For instance, yesterday while I was in the shower, they got into the kitchen, took the bucket of icecream out, and sat on the floor eating it wiht their hands. This was just after I had gave them lunch AND made them their own bowls of icecream!

They got into my blueberries while I was in the bathroom and threw them at each other then squashed them into the floor.

This morning as i was vacuuming they got into the burrito's AFTER I had given them bowls of cereal.
One more thought: do they only/mostly do this when you're busy/out of the room? Could they be looking for some extra attention? Sometimes kids will get it any way they want it. My kids can definitely be like this, going through phases where they're always doing something irritating, and often I think it's because they want some extra attention. And even if I'm not sure it's a bid for attention, I find that doing something to include them in my work around the house or giving them a project when I have to go to the bathroom or shower helps a lot (keeps them busy and all of us focused on the positive). My 6 year old can use the vacuum (with supervision), for instance. Our bathroom is near the kitchen, so I'll give them rags and spray bottles and have them wash every surface they can reach (they love this, it's messy). Heck, I'll even let them wash the bathroom vanity and walls while I'm in there if necessary. I give them wet towels to skate around on the kitchen floor with, which is fun and actually gets the floor pretty clean. We've come up with lots of interesting things to keep them busy helping out around the house-seems to keep them happier and less likely to do things that irritate mom and dad.

I hope you find something that works for you.
post #62 of 432
if there is something "developmentally amiss" with a 6 y.o. boy who likes to make wasteful messes instead of serving up a tea party to guests and sibs... :LOL ... oh my!

This thread comes at a weirdly timely manner for me. My *8* year old has taken to dumping dish detergent down the sink, last night dumped an entire container of salt down the sink, has destroyed toilet paper, toothpaste, drawn on the wall.

I also take the "you waste it, you pay for it with extra chores and doing without for a little bit." I can't afford to just replace everything he wrecks.
post #63 of 432
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee
if there is something "developmentally amiss" with a 6 y.o. boy who likes to make wasteful messes instead of serving up a tea party to guests and sibs... :LOL ... oh my!

This thread comes at a weirdly timely manner for me. My *8* year old has taken to dumping dish detergent down the sink, last night dumped an entire container of salt down the sink, has destroyed toilet paper, toothpaste, drawn on the wall.

I also take the "you waste it, you pay for it with extra chores and doing without for a little bit." I can't afford to just replace everything he wrecks.
I am not saying there is anything developmentally amiss, really. Just wondering why he would continue to make a mess when his mom has asked him not to.

Maybe he's naughty and needs to be punished, I guess. He's normal and defiant, obviously.

Do I have the only 6 yr old who can scoop ice cream into a bowl and knows how to use a spoon?
post #64 of 432
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom
I am not saying there is anything developmentally amiss, really. Just wondering why he would continue to make a mess when his mom has asked him not to.

Maybe he's naughty and needs to be punished, I guess. He's normal and defiant, obviously.

Do I have the only 6 yr old who can scoop ice cream into a bowl and knows how to use a spoon?
:::sigh::: Yes, you have the ONLY 6 year old who can use a spoon. : You're completely missiing the point. So I'm gonna yell it at ya. YES MY CHILD KNOWS HOW TO USE A SPOON!!! YES HE KNOWS HOW TO SCOOP ICECREAM!!! HE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING THERE IS TO MAKE IN THE KITCHEN!!!

Now maybe you understand that, I'll explain in normal terms that he did that because the icecream is cold and squishy, his brother wasn't using a spoon, he didn't either, and he thought it would be fun to rebel and eat it with his hands. I did something similar when I was a child, and my butt was busted so bad it hurt to sit down for a long time afterwards. of course I don't want to do that, so I came here hoping to get advice on how to handle this in a gd and age appropriate manner. What I didn't want was your smug "my child can do it, yours must be mental" attitude. :
post #65 of 432
Marie-- you are going to need to punish him, then.

You're right-- I have no idea what the point is.

Your kids are bad, they are wasting food and they ignore you.

What else can you do?
post #66 of 432
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom
Marie-- you are going to need to punish him, then.

You're right-- I have no idea what the point is.

Your kids are bad, they are wasting food and they ignore you.

What else can you do?
Is there any point to your posting except to act like a jerk? Because everyone else has given me great advice, made me think of what my child could me missing in his every day experiances to want to get into different foods, and child-respectful ways to deal handle it. You've just acted like a pompus jerk.
post #67 of 432
My first post was nice. You just didn't like it.

I didn't call you a jerk or anything.

I think you're over-reacting.

i also really think the tactics of locking children out of their own kitchen is drastic.

I know you don't want to hear that, but the whole deal sounds completely punitive and that's not AP or GD. And this is MDC.
post #68 of 432
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom
I am not saying there is anything developmentally amiss, really. Just wondering why he would continue to make a mess when his mom has asked him not to.

Maybe he's naughty and needs to be punished, I guess. He's normal and defiant, obviously.

Do I have the only 6 yr old who can scoop ice cream into a bowl and knows how to use a spoon?
I understand what you are saying. If the OP's 6 yr old has not learned to scoop ice cream into a bowl then it's time for her to teach him.

To the OP: He is certainly old enough. And this is not implying he is developmentally behind. Everyone is ignorant until they are taught properly

And yes, if he if he naughty, there should be consequences. I think you should take the advice offered to you and have a heart to heart with all the kids. Tell'em whatever you gotta tell'em "things are going to change around here" whatever...And I don't think you need to invest in locks or gadgets, just teach your kids what you want them to learn.

If you don't want them into the kitchen without asking you first... tell'em and if they disobey you choose and use *your* consequences.
post #69 of 432
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom
it seems like there could be something wrong here...

I have a child who recently turned six.

If she were to get ice cream out of the fridge--which she can do at any time-- she would put it on the table, get a scooper, put it in a bowl and get a spoon.

And many times she has served friends & sibs---but she always gets bowls and spoons, and napkins.

Do your children have much experience in the kitchen? I am not being mean--but why doesn't your 6 yr old know that if she/he is going to serve the younger siblings , sitting on the floor eating ice cream with your hands out of the container is germy & difficult to clean up? Can you teach him what to do?

Are they not allowed to serve themselves and to feel their own hunger? Have you always served them? Perhaps they are more interested in getting at forbidden things -- perhaps they have learned not to listen to their bodies' hunger signals.

i would be more concerned about these issues, and why they are sneaking around. I would think closing them out of the kitchen is the lesser part of the issue. I would think that a 6 yr old should be a little more cognizant of how to serve food??? I have 4 kids and I have not exp any of this...so bear with me.

I am almost inclined to wonder if something is developmentally amiss? i ask this gently...as this doesn't seem like regular 6 yr old behavior??. Maybe. Please don't jump all over me MDC mamas.

This was my first post- and i didn't even use the word abuse. :LOL
post #70 of 432
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPJJJ
What are these magnet locks you keep talking about?
http://www.babysupermall.com/main/pr...1173-item.html

they work really well, I have them on all of my cabinets because I have a daycare, and you really can't open them without the key. They are a bit of a pain to install, but worth it.
post #71 of 432
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sledg
One more thought: do they only/mostly do this when you're busy/out of the room? Could they be looking for some extra attention? Sometimes kids will get it any way they want it. My kids can definitely be like this, going through phases where they're always doing something irritating, and often I think it's because they want some extra attention. And even if I'm not sure it's a bid for attention, I find that doing something to include them in my work around the house or giving them a project when I have to go to the bathroom or shower helps a lot (keeps them busy and all of us focused on the positive). My 6 year old can use the vacuum (with supervision), for instance. Our bathroom is near the kitchen, so I'll give them rags and spray bottles and have them wash every surface they can reach (they love this, it's messy). Heck, I'll even let them wash the bathroom vanity and walls while I'm in there if necessary. I give them wet towels to skate around on the kitchen floor with, which is fun and actually gets the floor pretty clean. We've come up with lots of interesting things to keep them busy helping out around the house-seems to keep them happier and less likely to do things that irritate mom and dad.

I hope you find something that works for you.
I think you have a point. I used to have them take showers with me, but recently I felt my son was too old for that. He's probably just bored. Since reading this thread I can see definate possible causes for this. We haven't had a backyard since the middle of June, for one. We just recently moved here, but are waiting to finish out the fence because there is a vicious dog next door that I don't trust around my kids. So they cannot go out to play.They love playing in dirt and things like that. I have thought about putting some dirt into the bathtub for them to play in, but does anyone know if it would cause plumbing problems when it got washed down the drain?
post #72 of 432
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPJJJ
Is there any point to your posting except to act like a jerk? Because everyone else has given me great advice, made me think of what my child could me missing in his every day experiances to want to get into different foods, and child-respectful ways to deal handle it. You've just acted like a pompus jerk.
This is WAY out of line.
post #73 of 432
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom
This was my first post- and i didn't even use the word abuse. :LOL
I never said you did.
post #74 of 432
Maybe it's time to take the disagreements over tone and content to PM?
post #75 of 432
I am wary of child centric, self-sacrificing mothering. The entire family (including parents and moms) are equally important.

However, there did seem to be a lot of "my food," "my stuff," "my kitchen" in this thread. It could itself be the problem. If the 6 year old doesn't feel like he is a full participant in the household, he could then not see food and mess as his responsibility.

I think this is what UU is trying to get at. I wouldn't lock a 6 year old out of a room in his/her house. The room is as much the 6 year olds as mine, and 6 is old enough not to abuse stuff unintentionally. If the 6 year old was abusing stuff intentionally, I'd address that (by talking to the 6 year old about what he thinks is the reason and what he thinks could be the solution). Your explanations about money and waste are falling on deaf ears, so I'd get him involved in the conversation. It would help him feel responsible and a full participant in household issues.

good luck
post #76 of 432
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee
if there is something "developmentally amiss" with a 6 y.o. boy who likes to make wasteful messes instead of serving up a tea party to guests and sibs... :LOL ... oh my!

This thread comes at a weirdly timely manner for me. My *8* year old has taken to dumping dish detergent down the sink, last night dumped an entire container of salt down the sink, has destroyed toilet paper, toothpaste, drawn on the wall.

I also take the "you waste it, you pay for it with extra chores and doing without for a little bit." I can't afford to just replace everything he wrecks.
To me, this is punitive. It's not GD. You have to get at the larger issue.

I also wonder how a small child would be able to get the money together to replace the food he ruined? If the parent pays the child for doing extra chores, isn't that money coming from the same source as the one used to buy the food intially? So the "i can't afford to replace this food' is not really true. I don't agree with a child wasting food, even if a parent can 'afford it', but I also don't agree with a parent telling a falsehood to the child.

There is a lack of respect here--the child does not respect the parent, and the parent show lack of respect for the child through punitive behavior towards the child. It's an endless cycle disrespect.

I wold also think an 8 year old can understand that ruining food is not in anyone's best interests. Again, I would try to figure out why the child continues with behavior the parent has explained is not in keeping with family values. If the child doesn't care , why?
post #77 of 432
Thread Starter 
Mod, feel free to lock this thread now. I've gotten a lot of great responses. Now that I realize my children must just be missing out on the stimulation they used to get from playing outside (and we went from being outside all day to being inside all day, so it has been quite a change) I'm not angry at them. Still frustrated, yes, but now I have a real plan for handling this. Thank you all for your advice and support.

I'm sorry the thead took such a bad turn. But I think any mommy would get angry if someone focused one one thing she said and used that in a "my child can do this so your child must be off balance" way.
post #78 of 432
Quote:
Originally Posted by MPJJJ
Thanks, those look great, but our's are metal cabinets. How would one with metal cabinets and no handles keep the cabinets locked?

What about installing handles on the cabinets and then using the locks that are 2 thick cables with zipper like teeth on them, that go through a square. You ahve to push down two firm buttons at the same time, and pull the zip tie out. My own 8yo can't do it by herself. (I have a hard time undoing them sometimes)
post #79 of 432
Quote:
Originally Posted by sledg
My kids are about the same ages as yours-almost 6, almost 4 and almost 2. They have always had free access to what they can reach in the kitchen, and for whatever reason they just don't waste or play with food. I won't claim it's entirely because they've always been welcome in the kitchen to play, cook, clean or whatever-but I think it does help. We spend a lot of time in there eating together and cooking and talking about the value of food.

That said, I think you really do have to restrict access somewhat until they learn to respect food more. Despite having an "open kitchen" policy in our home, some things are still off limits. Anything we don't want them to have is up in high cabinets or on top of cabinets where they can't reach. No cabinets are locked, so most lower cabinets contain only pans, bakeware, bowls and kids' dishes-all stuff they can safely play with anytime they want. We keep canned goods and snacks they're allowed to have in one lower lazy-susan cabinet. If they start wasting food or the baby dumps it, up it goes into a high cabinet. At times all we've had in lower cabinets is canned food. For us it's the best of both world's-the kids feel welcome in the kitchen but they can't really get into trouble. (Yes, there have been times my littlest one has pulled chairs up to the counter to climb up and rummage in cabinets. Some of those times I have actually removed chairs from the kitchen because she tried it every time I turned my head.)

The refrigerator is a different problem, though. I have seen refrigerator locks, and I think if your kids are just going into the fridge to dump things out there's no harm in a refrigerator lock.

I also agree with whomever said a little snack shelf is great. With small quanities of snacks, and perhaps some cups with lids that you keep filled with water (or water bottles) for free access to drinks.

And maybe I'm way off base here, but if my kids were doing something like that I'd also suspect that they love the reaction they get from me and look into ways to modify my reaction.

excellent post.
post #80 of 432
Just had another idea. If you have a door to your kitchen does it have a latching door handle? Why not install a lock like on your front door? Or an alarm of some kind so that you can hear it when they go in there?
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