Nap issues with 4yo

[oceanbaby]

Ds1 is in a weird stage of needing naps but not taking them. It has been going on for a long time (at least 6 months) and shows no sign of letting up anytime soon.

He will not lay down and take a nap anymore. Even if we lay down to read, or just lay down, he will not fall asleep. He will only sleep if I take him for a drive, and it has to be after 3pm. At that point, if he falls asleep, he will sleep until at least 7pm. And then of course he is up later than dh and I!

If he doesn't take a nap, which is most days, he becomes impossible around 4 or 5pm. Sometimes he is just irritable, but other times he is a total nightmare (like now ). He won't be asleep for the night anytime before 7pm. The times that he has fallen asleep at 5 or 6pm, he starts waking up every half hour starting around 11pm.

What do I do? Do I drive him to sleep every afternoon and have him bouncing off the walls until after 10pm? How do I handle an overtired, yelling, irrational 4yo from 5pm to 8pm?

This is really driving me crazy. I just wish he would give up naps entirely.

[USAmma]

Abi is the same way. Sometimes she naps and sometimes not. If she doesn't I take her for a drive (great minds think alike) but after 20 or so minutes I wake her up and we go into the store or wherever, and that's all she gets to sleep. It seems to tide her over until bedtime.

[MamaBug]

Due to the fact that I also had a 6 yr old at home, when ds was 4 he refused to nap as well. And we had the same problem, if he napped too late then he was up until all hours and with pre-school we couldn't have that. So I basically saved any TV time and quiet time ( he could have his brother read to him, or play a quiet game with him) for the hard hours of 4-6pm, then it was dinner, bath, stories and bed. It worked out great because we then had this set routine where I had peace to cook dinner and he rested without actually having to take a nap.

[loudmama]

I can't offer any advice, just a me too! DD hasn't napped regularly since before she turned 4. Sometimes she could use it. Sometimes she falls asleep in the car or at home. But like other kids, if she naps for too long, she's up until later than her already late bedtime.

L

[TiredX2]

This happened way earlier at our house, but with DS what we did was decide what schedule we basically wanted him to follow and implimented that and *stuck to it* for about a week and it was all sorted out. That meant NO naps, so no driving in the car around nap time, then in bed at 8-9 and wake him up (for us) around 8am. Once he had several days in a row the same thing he was pretty adjusted.

Even two years later, though (he will be four this month) he occasionally takes a nap and then he is up til midnight and it can get *all* mixed up (I woke him at 6:30am and DD at 7am today so we can hopefully get back to going to bed before 10 )

DD was much more schedule resistant, though, and we really implimented this basic scedule around the same time (so DD was 4.5).

[The Lucky One]

Wow! A napping 4 year old is so far from my reality seeing as how ds1 gave up naps at 24 months and ds2 has already given up napping and he's only 14 months!!! I am always amazed at kids who still nap at 4 and 5 years old!

But, I think any time a kid gives up a nap there is an adjustment phase. Like a pp said, I would go the no nap route if I were you and do at least a week with absolutely no naps AND a reasonable bedtime and see how things are. I bet after a week or two he'll adjust. That's not to say he might not be somewhat crabby in the early evenings, but he shouldn't be horrible.

[phathui5]

I just had to go back to having ds take naps after a year of him not needing them. About a month ago, he started getting tired and being generally unpleasant to be around by about six o'clock. Basically what I do is get both of the kids ready for a nap right after lunch. I have ds go to the bathroom and get in his bed and I put on a tape for him to listen to. Then I nurse dd to sleep and stick her in my bed. Some days it takes half an hour for ds to eventually go to sleep, but if he spends that time just laying in bed with nothing to do, he does go to sleep. (Mind you, while he may not want to take a nap, he doesn't freak out and cry or anything)

[guest^]

Oh yeah! I can relate!!
And it is going to get worse before it gets better, as I am about to leave the state for a major abdominal surgery. For now, I am just riding the tide, and throwing up my hands if everything is out of control.

My plan, when I get somewhat recovered, is that we get ds going to bed for storytime at 7pm. Waking him up no later than 8:30. No nap. Try this for 2 weeks. If he is still needing a nap, then wake up earlier, start reading to him-setting up the "mood"-right after lunch. After a full belly, and lots of books, he will hopefully fall asleep soon. But then wake him up after about 30 mins of sleep. I will have to plan something fun, like going outside to ride his bike or go to the park, or digging in the dirt. Still keeping his bedtime reading routine to 7pm.

Sometimes when all else fails, stick in a Cailou video, or sticking him in the bath for a good while will help him get through the bewitching hours!

HTH-hang in there.

mp

[oceanbaby]

See, this is all interfering with my plan to be super hip cool and groovy and just go with the flow, man!

I guess part of the problem is that we don't have any sort of routine around here really. Every day is different - somedays we're home all day, some days we're on the go. Today we had a doctor's appointment downtown, and ds1 fell asleep on the way home (around 3:30pm). He slept until 7pm, and it was a feat but we got him to sleep a little after 10pm.

He is pretty impossible to keep awake if he is falling asleep, and even more impossible to wake up once he is asleep. I guess for now I'll just have to see how things go, trying to not be in the car around 5pm.

[guest^]

AWWW.....you *still* are a hip,cool Momma-just look at your online name-that makes you cool right there!! And I know that you nurse in coffee shops. Way cool!!!!! :LOL

Seriously,I am always redoing our routine. I know my dc thrive on a routine, but it just isn't my personality.

A couple of things I am learning to stick with, is that I schedule around meals and weather. Sounds odd, but it really does work. For ex: when I am getting ready to/or actually making meals, I will clean the kitchen,empty bathroom trashes(or all trash), sweep the main floor super quick. As for weather...our s is up,down,everywhere! So, I check for the week or day, and plan our outings according to the hot chick on the tube!! :LOL Gooddays are days that we spend a lot of time outdoors. Bad days are days that we spend cleaning,reading,dancing, just hangin',etc...

And the biggest help I've discovered, is to *try* to schedule appts/shopping for Fridays in the morning.

Would ds1 stay awake if you played a music tape or reading tape in the car??
This sometimes will work with ds-ecspecially if I sing along too, or get into the book!

To the poster who took back her dc's naps after a long time without- I think that is great. I think older toddlers/young preschoolers lkack of naps sometimes is a reflection of our whole society needing more rest. We live in a fast paced society,where slowing down is frowned upon. I think this is part of the problem. Dh and I were very determined to have our dc nap till they got to the four's. When we first have babies, one of the big questions is,"So....is he/she sleeping through the night?" Then,it is whether or not the dc has been weaned,toilet trained,sleeping through the night, and of course, whether the dc is still napping!

I really believe that dc need a lot of sleep. When dh and I were in kinder(late '60's), we took naps after k was over-everyday. And life was so much more simpler then it is today-so much slower.

JMHO

mp

[UUMom]

[QUOTE=oceanbaby]See, this is all interfering with my plan to be super hip cool and groovy and just go with the flow, man!


:LOL I hear ya!

Specific kid needs do get in the way of that at times.

You can still be hip and groovy as you meet their changing needs.

[PatchyMama]

add me to the list of mamas jealous mamas... my 4 year old gave up naps at 2 and definately still needs them! i doubt the girl sleeps more than 8/9 hours a day total.

[Throkmorton]

My DS also gave up naps at around 2. Yes, what fun, eh?

I find that he still needs quiet time around 3 pm though. he just chills out and watches TV for 1/2 an hour and then he is recharged and good to go! If you don't watch Tv in your house, reading or another quiet activity might be good.