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Help! Feeling really frustrated...need ideas. *might be small rant*

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
I'm soooo frustrated. My dh (and that d is NOT standing for Dear in any way shape or form..lol) does NOTHING to help with anything, especially feeding the family. I'm 9 weeks along with dc#3 and I'm getting to the end of my rope. On top of the normal fatigue in pregnancy I have fibromyalsia. I'm always so tired I could sleep where I stand. Some of this comes from the stress of always being sore and achey all over, the rest from being a "married single mom".

I know a simple solution would be to buy everything instant and let them go at it but I refuse to do that. With the exception of one or two treats (this week was microwave kettle corn)... everything they eat is HFCS/Trans fat/Hydrogenated oils/MSG/etc free. This if course as I'm sure most of you know, takes a lot of time and effort. I'm finding I spend all day in the kitchen cutting, chopping, baking, boiling, steaming, and by the time I'm done I have no energy for the rest of the housework. **DH could care less how I feel. He wants the house clean, mutliple things to eat, and anything he wants to wear clean at his disposal whenever he wants it.

Okay, what do you mommas do that either are single or whose s/o does absolutely NOTHING to contribute to feeding the children?

I need ideas on how to make things that can keep without additional preperation so when the kids want a snack they can pick it out and eat it. Right now snacks are limited to fruit, veggies, and whatever healthy cracker I can find. Of course the fruit and most of the veggies require prep before they can consume. Is there any such thing? lol

Thanks in advance for listening to my rant!
Very very tired,
post #2 of 8
I have lots of things to say about your dh not wanting to help...but I won't. Instead I offer you lots of hugs.

I do all the cooking here. I do it all from scratch. I handle it by having a few stapes that will work in most any dish. Like marinara. I make a huge stock pot full of it about once a month. I use it for pasta sauce, pizza sauce and for baking my chicken in. I also use it as a dipping sauce for bread sticks as a snack. I will add it to soups for added substance and vegetable content.

I have stopped trying to have an abundant selection of meals to choose from at any one given time. I would make 3-4 different soups to have in the freezer, now I make 1 and it's different every time. I pick one type of bean and soak and prep them and use them for different dishes thoughout the week. I plan 14 meals between pay periods and that's what we eat. I don't specifically tie them to any day. I choose the night before, but the choices come from the 14 and not all 14 are gourmet huge meals. I also make lots of one dinner and use it for lunches, just reheat and viola. When I make casseroles I make two and freeze one.

I make graham crackers and peanutbutter cookies for the kids to snack on, in addititon to the fruit and vegies. I have jars of nuts on the counter and fruit leathers in the cabinet.

It's very hard and it seems like your efforts go unappreciated. Know that you are doing your best and that's all anyone can expect of you.

Here's my peanutbutter cookie recipie...

1c. peanutbutter
1c. honey
1 egg
1 tsp. vanilla
-mix together and add...
2c. whole grain flour (wheat, spelt, barley)
1/2 tsp. b. soda
1/2 tsp. salt

Mix all together and drop onto a cookie sheet (I like to roll into little balls and flatten slightly with a fork). Bake at 350F. Bake ONLY until they are light brown. Honey burns quickly and in an instant the bottoms will burn if you don't catch them. These are my kids favorite cookies. Mine too because they only use the fat from the nuts and no refined sugar.
post #3 of 8
Thread Starter 

Thank you :)

I've talked myself blue in the face to him. I think I could get more compassion out of a concrete block than I can get out of him. Right now I don't have a job and I'm finishing the summer semester of college. He's been working since June and his college starts again on 8/29. His stance is, " you don't work, there is no excuse that the house can't be perfect". The other one is, "if you'd just get a job, maybe I would help out more". Problem is, I've had many jobs over the years and never once has he done anything. I'm sure the next time I get a job it won't be the exception.

Anyway. The cookies sound yummy! What about the graham crackers? Do you make them and if so what is the recipe?

Take care,
post #4 of 8
Wow! I just don't know what to say about your dh.
But about the food, well ok. My dh is a sahd, but he goes to school, so usually when I get home from work around 2, he leaves and dinner is up to me as well as snacks. I find that a lot of what cjr says really helps. I also use the crock pot at least once a week, which totally frees up my time.
Also, when I have leftovers that I know we won't go through right away and they'll freeze well, I stick them in the freezer. Right now I've got like 3 different kinds of soups, stock and a ton of beans in there. Meals with no work. This works for muffins, cookies, pancakes, sweet breads etc too.
Fruits and veg that are relatively painless to prep: berries, bananas, carrots, celery, peas, canned pineapple.
Good luck mama.
post #5 of 8
I'd be interested in the graham cracker recipe too.

I regularly go through phases where meal planning (and snacks) feel like a struggle since it's become important to me to avoid things like that omnipresent HFCS. I've been trying to plan simple, quick meals instead of constantly searching for new recipes that have a thousand ingredients and take a lot of prep time. A recent example was scrambled eggs with sliced tomatoes on the side, and I was surprised to realize that I enjoyed it a lot more than some other meals that take much longer.

We're also eating sandwiches more often and try to snack on nuts, and fruits and veggies that don't require much preparation (whole carrots, bananas, small tomatoes eaten whole, etc).
post #6 of 8

Easy

I really recommend a crock pot - if you're not feeling well, you can prep stuff a little bit at a time, and through it in. . . . Also I think meals that start with canned beans are a good thing. As for "perfect" housekeeping - there is NOONE who is perfect. . . .I love www.flylady.net - she gives me the tools to get things done, babysteps at a time. . . .

I have a fav recipe site: www.recipezaar.net whenever I'm stumped for a recipe, I go there and get one, instantly. . . .

Try my easy black bean soup (can be made with chicken or veggie broth):

Easy Black Bean Soup #59796

This soup is a favorite pantry meal for my family. Easy, easy, easy to make and nutritious. I got the recipe from the back of a soup can but have improvised this soup many times. Feel free to adjust seasonings as you like.

3 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 tablespoon ground cumin
2-3 cloves garlic
2 (14 1/2 ounce) cans black beans
2 cups chicken broth or vegetable broth
salt and pepper
1 small red onion, chopped fine
1/4 cup cilantro, coarsely chopped or finely chopped (whatever you prefer)

1. Saute onion in olive oil.
2. When onion becomes translucent, add cumin.
3. Cook 30 seconds, then add garlic and cook for another 30 to 60 seconds.
4. Add 1 can black beans and 2 cups broth.
5. Bring to a simmer, stirring occasionally.
6. Turn off heat.
7. Using a hand blender, blend the ingredients in the pot, or transfer to a blender.
8. Add the second can of beans to the pot along with blended ingredients and bring to a simmer.
9. Serve soup with bowls of red onion and cilantro for garnish.
10. I add a bit of cilantro to the pot, too.
11. Can be doubled or frozen.
post #7 of 8
The words "you don't work" should NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES be uttered to a mom. Grrrrrr. Talk about something that gets my panties in a bunch!!! : Lots of hugs to you, I do understand, my husband is the same way.
I just popped into this thread to see what everyone else has to say since I'm looking for the same easy to prepare stuff. Thanks for the new ideas!
post #8 of 8
I do quesadillas a lot. Or cheese toast with tomato slices under the cheese.
I chop veggies when I have the time and store them in the fridge. I grate cheese and keep it in baggies in the fridge. I make pasta sauce by sauteeing fresh garlic in olive oil and then adding a can of Amy's organic fire roasted crushed tomatoes and some fresh herbs. I cook angel hair because it's faster than spaghetti.
I wash fruit and veggies ahead of time so the kids can snack. Like plums, pears, sugar snap peas, carrots.
We also snack on dried fruit and nuts and simple cookies. I have this recipe for sugar cookies that is just flour, butter, turbinado sugar and baking powder. For added yum, I roll out the dough and cut it in circles with the kids and then put an apricot half on one circle and another cookie circle on top, then pinch shut all around.

I know a way to free up some time. Don't do your husband's laundry. Tell him that you are too tired and you know he can do it. He can always ask you for tips if he can't figure out how to do it.
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