Need some input x posted

[Summertime Mommy]

I am posting this here and the school outside the home forum, because this issue relates to both and I'd love opinions from parents that chose both. Hope that is okay. DS just started Kindergarten this year at a pretty good public school, but I am really wonderring if he is in the right place. My instincts are telling me I should pull him out and homeschool, but my logical side is telling me that he really needs the structure and peer involvement that school will give. Here is my dilemna, Koeby really hates going to school. He hates leaving me and his baby sisters for the entire day. He is also a little bored with the class, and I think that adds to him not wanting to go. Today, for example, he started sobbing when it was time to get out of the car, and the principle ended up dragging him out of the car, which btw has me absolutely fuming mad too, but that's a whole other post. Anyway, when he gets home in the afternoon, he always tells me about what a great day it was and how much fun he had, which makes me wonder if it is just the leaving me part that bothers him, and not school itself. I just don't know if I am doing the right thing having him in school. Would it be better to homeschool him? Should I just ask him and then go with what he wants? I am really not sure what to do. My main concern about hsing is that I hsed his step sister for about 6 months, and I never really felt like she was understanding anything I taught her, I also worry about getting social involvement, because I am not the kind of person that goes out and seeks peer groups, I am much more of a hermit. Any advice at all would be very appreciated.

[SagMom]

I would definately ask him if he'd want to homeschool. There are so many different ways to hs -- if you think what you did with your sd wasn't right for her, there are many other options. It might be a good idea to do some research--not to choose one particular way and follow it, but to open up your options, yk?

I'm not sure what you mean when you say he needs the structure of school. If he likes routine, that can be had at home.

As for social stuff--you dont' NEED to belong to a hs group. Are there kids in the neighborhood that he plays with? Could you arrange playdates with his schooled friends? Is there some group that he could join--a scouting program or a class or club? (This is assuming that HE wants to be involved in a group. If he'd be happy without one, there's nothing wrong with that.)

I don't think you can go wrong with following your gut.

[Summertime Mommy]

Well, I guess he doesn't really "need" the struxture that school has. I don't really know what I mean. I feel like maybe I am just making excuses.

[oldcrunchymom]

Joan had some excellent advice. I just wanted to point out that if your son was crying and saying he didn't want to do another activity like soccer, would you make him go if you had a choice? He is not a 10th grader trying to get out of a chemistry test--he is five years old and expressing his feelings the only way he knows how. Listen to your child.

(If homeschooling isn't right for you, you can always put him back into school when he hits first grade. Maybe he'll be ready to separate then.)

[m&m]

Well you have a few issues here:

seperation anxiety - a very normal and common thing for kids. many of the kids in my dd K class last year had their mom or dad sit in the class with them for half the year (and this was only half day K). It took them a while to transition away from the parents, but otherwise liked school just fine.

wanting to HS - there are many reasons to do this, as well as many reasons your ds would want this. Talk it out, read up on it. Only you can decide what will fit your family.

socialization - the type of social setting that school involves is not the only social skills needed in life. in fact it can actually do more harm than good and skills in university or beyound have to be learned all over again. Having kids segregated into age groups makes them not relate to anyone outside their grade. Many do not even talk or play with anyone outside their class! It is more beneficial to have your child play with many different aged kids, as well as talk to adults and seniors. You want your child to get along best in life - not in "school only". You will find that your child can find friends in many places. You are not dooming him to solitude.