I've had good paps/pelvic exams and bad ones. If I'm ttc I get an appointment for a vag exam because my dr prefers to not do them during pregnancy and especially on me since it throws me into labour and is possibly attributed to 1 of my mc's(having sex is what they believe is the for sure cause). If the exam was more than 4months prior to getting pg then my dr usually does one but will not do a pap or anything to my cervix, my cervix doesn't like to be touched.
The exams I had that were bad were done by obgyns, the first one just about lost his head twice and his nurse had to physically hold me down. I've had some by family practitioners that were not bad, but my dr is awesome about them. He had a harder time finding my cervix last week when I had mine but usually has no problem. The only time it really hurts is when he accidentally catches some hair in the speculum and it rips out. It's hard to feel uncomfortable when you're laughing during an exam. He hasn't done a pelvic/vaginal check in quite a while, usually it's just the pap which is 1-2minutes and he's done.
It is my experience that the higher the specialty(obgyns, peds, oncologists, perinatologists, ents, audiologists, neurologists, internists, etc) the more a person is talked to like they're idiots, they don't know anything and anything they do know is wrong because they didn't go to college for 15years and don't have little letters behind their names, that they're the specialists so you MUST do as they say, not question anything and if you do question anything then ugh
you're wasting their time, you're just a woman what could you possibly know,
The only time i do like the specialists is when they piss me off and I see my family dr again. I went to a perinatologist when I was 11weeks for an early US to check for deformalities to see if they could find another cause for the miscarriages. The 2 idiots I saw then wouldn't do it, said they couldn't do it. They were getting up out of their chairs to leave and I kept telling them I was there for a US, my dr sent me here for one and I was not leaving until I got one. They finally consented to do one, then weren't going to say anything and so I told them that there was a problem wasn't there, then they finally told me that yes I had placenta previa(which I know isn't as big of a deal at 11weeks). I didn't know if it was complete or partial. When I got back to my regular dr's office and told him what happened he went ballistic on the perinatologists for battering his patient.