or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › Expectations? (mini vent, too)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Expectations? (mini vent, too)

post #1 of 2
Thread Starter 
Hi! I've been in lurkdom quite awhile... just a busy busy summer!

Brief background...
I am 35 yo married for the 2nd time to my DH. I have 1 DD (7 yo) from my ex- and now we have a 5 month DD with my DD. I live in MI, while XH lives in Lousiana. XH is now remarried (fro the 3rd time) and has 2 step-kids.

Ever since we divorced (2002), he hasn't had much to do with DD. He calls and emails, but that is about it. Last July, he visited her and took her to his internet girlfriend's house for a week. Now he is married to someone else and he can't have her visit because his new wife is having health problems. There's always an excuse for visitation. My DD is in counseling for some "mad/sad" issues related to her daddy among other things.

I homeschool her, and she is in different activities. I have tried to get him to help pay for the dental bill last year and help pay for extra-curricular activities as well. But he doesn't send any extra money for these things. Our divorce decree says he should pay 1/2 of these type of things but he doesn't. His excuse is that the Army is always screwing up his paycheck. (According to him, they have been screwing up his paycheck since 2002 when he entered the Army. ) I guess I should count myself lucky that he is in the Army or I might not be able to count on the child support either. Every time I push for a little bit of extra money, he starts pushing for more visitation time (like he is even seeing her now as it is). And frankly I don't have the money for a lawyer or I probably would push more.

If I don't call or email all the time, I get a nasty email saying why don't I keep in touch? I have a personal website so that anyone can keep up with family news. I send him pictures and such as I take them. I just don't feel the need to email every day! He talks to DD about once every 2 weeks if not more. He is on speed dial but when I ask DD if she wants to talk to daddy, she doesn't. Is that my fault since I don't bias against him in front of DD?

Anyway, I could rant all day about more So, how much should I expect from him? I mean, should I be pushing him to help pay for these things (i.e. dental, xtra activities)? Should I just be happy with the child support (which is not even the amount he should be paying at his rank as it is...)? Am I just whining?

Just curious...
post #2 of 2
I understand what you are saying I think. I once asked my Ex to buy one high chair for our twins since I had purchased the other, he then asked to have them overnight : since he is often stoned I just hung up and bought my own high chair. In my life we chose to jiust let the sleeping dog lie. I don't call him, I don't ask for things and he has been gone for 5 years knock on wood. I think we all have to see if the money is worth it. Goodluck to you I know this is tough, there is no easy answer.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Blended and Step Family Parenting › Expectations? (mini vent, too)