Changes really are hard on kids, more than we know. I do think that some kids have the personality for changes more than others though.
My dh and I came from whacko families but we also moved a lot. After 3rd grade I think I only stayed in one school for 2 years once, otherwise it was a new school every year. It was the most horrible thing.
When I started feeling like I was going to have to get dd out of her school I started looking at different schools, but then I would have to deal with all the anxiety of what went with changing schools and even without that I kept coming back to the same issues about school regardless of which one I looked into.
We moved in April and dd's anxiety went through the roof around that time and we're not totally back where we were yet. The last few montsh of school she'd start crying in the middle of class for what seemes like no reason and all she'd say was that she missed me.
I feel like there are a ton of reasons for us to homeschool, but one of them is that she needs to be home with me instead of looking for another school. I kept feeling like since this is an ongoing problem I needed to push her some of she'd end up dependent on me forever. Now I don't think that is true. I'm trying to think about it more like she is getting her needs met as best as possible. I did the attachment parenting thing when she was young and probably do to some extent now (family bed, etc.), but I think the whole idea that you keep your children close to you and they will "go" when they are ready---well, as they get older I think we forget that. I think I probably felt like she should be more independent already and didn't let her make that choice after a certain age (without realizing it).
Kids are not set up to always be dependent so they will show signs of it eventually. DD is already showing more signs since she hasn't been in school.
So what if she's almost 10 and she needs her mom? Developmentally she's probably more like 6 yrs old or something and I need to pay more attention to that.
OK, I said OT, but how did this get to be a rambling about me?
Anyway, with all the changes in your family I do think you are doing the right thing and I think that pushing her with curiculum would totally backfire. I agree with the others about that being too much curriculum for her age---maybe any age. Any book on homeschooling I've read, and I've read A LOT say maybe 3 hours tops and that's for older kids who are doing a very traditional type of schooling.
Also, about the med. thing--- We've been through almost every med it seems. Some have really worked great, but it's rare for one to work well forever. But when it has worked I was very grateful for the time that dd was happier. It is difficult to start the med thing since it is all trial and error and it takes a lot of patience. That is true whether it is ADHD meds or meds for depression, etc. I do believe that therapy is more valuable than meds.... however, if the therapy, after some time, doesn't really fix things the combo. of the two can really be amazing. It is a big deal since it takes a lot of patience to try meds and wait to see if it works or if there's side effects (like making them worse or making them mean, etc.). I guess I am a fence rider when it comes to meds and I can see both sides of the argument since we've done it all and at the present moment aren't taking anything besides meds to sleep.
Feel free to PM me about meds or anything else.
You're a good mom and you are doing a good job...even if it feels crazy right now. You're doing the right thing.
